“What’s got you smiling that way?” Raya asks, her index finger tracing a line between my brows and down, to the tip of my nose.
At some point in the night, we moved to my sofa and opened another bottle of wine, playing endless rounds of truth and dare, never running out of things to talk about.
Spending time with her is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before — it’s effortless, and somehow, she makes my thoughts still. For the first time in years, I don’t feel on edge around someone who’s essentially a perfect stranger. I didn’t think any woman would ever be able to make me lower my guard again, but in a matter of hours, she has.
“You,” I murmur, pulling her closer, until I’ve got her seated in my lap. “I’m genuinely just having a great time with you.”
I cup her face, my heart racing. Should I just tell her the truth? Or is it too late for that now? I’ve never felt more conflicted than I do right now. Fear of all different kinds tugs at me — fear she truly is just a great actress, and I’m letting her fool me with surprising ease. Fear that she’s innocent, and my actions tonight will set us up for failure from the very start.
Raya’s forehead drops to mine, and then her face dips lower, her lips finding mine. Just like that, every thought fades away. This kiss is slow, explorative, and I take my time parting her lips, tasting, nipping. She moans softly, the sound rushing straight to my cock. She’s had me turned on all night, each kiss driving me a little closer to the edge. It’s torture to be around her, that honey scent of her invading my senses.
I turn us over, and she falls backwards on the sofa, her hair spread all around her beautifully. That expression when she looks up at me from lowered lashes… fucking enchanting.
I cover her body with mine, and her fingers slide through my hair before she grips it and pulls me in for another kiss. I groan as she moves underneath me, rocking her hips in a needy way I just can’t resist. “Fuck, Raya.” Even her name sounds perfect, whispered between our lips. “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?”
I push up against her, making her feel just how hard she’s made me, and a soft moan escapes her perfect lips. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced just prolonged arousal, wanting someone yet trying my hardest not to let desire guide a conversation. I’m at my breaking point, and I think she is too.
My future wife gasps when I part her legs with my knee, and I chuckle as my hand slides down between us, until I’m gripping her thigh, my thumb brushing over her lace panties.
She’s soaking wet, even through the fabric, and it’s fucking thrilling to know it’s all for me. Her eyes flash with the same desire I’m feeling, and I smirk as I let my finger brush over the fabric again, teasing her. “Can I?”
She bites down on her lip, her expression conflicted. “I… I’m not sure, Lex. No one has ever…”
My eyes widen. “Never?”
She shakes her head, and I smirk as I drag my finger down her soaking panties, loving how wet she is. Every single kiss turned me on more than I’ve ever been, and I’m so fucking glad it isn’t just me.
“Will you let me?” I whisper, my heart racing. “Let me make you come, Raya. I want my name on your lips and my fingers buried deep inside you… nothing more than that.”
She blinks, her expression clearing a little. “I… I’m not…” she bites down on her lip and looks away. “I’m not sure.”
I study her face, reading her indecision. “Okay, baby,” I murmur, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, her voice trembling.
I pause and push myself up on top of her. “You don’t owe me anything, Raya. Least of all an apology.”
She glances at me helplessly, insecurity flickering through her gorgeous brown eyes. “I just haven’t felt comfortable enough with anyone to do something like that. I thought it’d happen when I went to college, but I haven’t seriously dated anyone, so it just… it just didn’t happen.” She wrings her hands nervously. “I guess you were expecting something different since I left the party with you. I’m not sure why I did that, to be honest. I’ve never done that before, but I just… I don’t know…”
I tense and turn us around so she’s straddling me again, her hair falling down the front of her body and her dress bunched around her waist. “Raya, take all the time you need. I’ll wait as long as you want me to. To be honest, I was a virgin until college too, so I get it. I found it really hard to trust anyone, and I constantly feared that the story of me losing my virginity would end up in the tabloids.” If only that had been the worst thing that could’ve happened. “I was sure I’d suck at the whole sex thing and whoever I slept with would go on to do an interview with some dumb tabloid, like The Herald.”
Raya’s eyes widen in surprise, her mood lifting. “I can’t even imagine having the media watch my every move. There are many parts of your life I envy, but that isn’t one of them.”
I cup her face, my heart heavy as my thumb brushes her lips. I wish I could protect her from that kind of scrutiny, but the second the media finds out about her, they’ll dig up every last detail they can find. “It isn’t easy, but on the flip side, it allows us to do so much good. Whenever we can, we try to divert the publicity towards our charities or our businesses.”
She nods, her gaze roaming down my chest and abs leisurely. Fuck, I’d give the world to have her ride me just like this. Someday… hopefully someday soon.
“Tell me, are there things you’ve never done?” she asks. “Not sexually, per se. Just things you might not have found the right person for?”
“So many things. There are a lot of things that I’m reserving for my wife, and no one else.”
Her gorgeous brown eyes twinkle with curiosity. “Like what?”
“My home, for starters. I’ve never brought a woman to my home on the Windsor Estate. The same goes for my company — I’ve never brought a woman into my office, my worksites, or my labs. Then there are more specific little things. I’ve never cooked for anyone but my family, and I haven’t ever let a woman drive my cars.”
Raya grabs my hands and entwines our fingers as she lifts our joined hands to her face. “A meal cooked by Lexington Windsor…” She kisses my knuckles, and my heart begins to race. “I have a feeling you’d look really sexy standing behind a stove.”
I thread a hand through her hair and pull her down for a kiss. “What’s your favorite food, Raya?”
She laughs, the sound warming my heart. “Definitely my mom’s lamb biryani.”
“I guess I’d better learn how to cook that then,” I murmur against her lips. “Do you think she’d be willing to teach me?”
She giggles, not realizing that I’m dead serious. I always thought I’d hate being forced into an arranged marriage, that I’d resent my wife.
Until I met Raya Lewis.
“I’ve heard the rumors about you being a massive flirt, but experiencing it myself is something else altogether,” she says, her tone playful.
My stomach turns, and I look away, bitterness washing over me. “I haven’t dated anyone in years, Raya. The press loves to report absolute bullshit about my family. Just because it’s in the papers doesn’t mean it’s true.”
Her gaze roams over my face, searching. “Then give me another Truth, and I’ll trade you a Dare.”
I raise a brow, intrigued by the curiosity in her eyes. “What is it you want to know?”
She hesitates, nibbling on her lip for one second, and then another, the silence stretching between us. “Tell me why you haven’t dated anyone in so long.”
I tense involuntarily, unsure how to answer her. “I prefer logic and reason. Realistically, being in love is just a chemical reaction, one that impairs your judgement. I have no interest in it, and thus, I have no interest in dating anyone.”
Her expression falls, and she nods as she forces a smile that seems so genuine I wouldn’t have realized how fake it is if I hadn’t had the honor of witnessing her real smiles all evening.
“I take it you don’t believe in fate or true love, then?”
I huff, my amusement apparent. “Of course not. Surely you don’t either?”
“I do,” she says, her expression solemn. “It’d be hard to look at my parents and think that’s anything but true love. It’s what I want for myself someday — a marriage like theirs. I want the jokes, the way they still look at each other, the cute notes they leave hidden around the house, and the weekly dates they still go on. I want more than a marriage that really is just a glorified friendship — I want true love.”
I look away, knowing I can never give her that. If I’d never known that I can’t be what she needs, would that have made the next few years more bearable?
