SHE CLINGS TO me, and I look up over the top of her head to see Linc standing in the hallway just outside the formal dining room. He smirks at me, and my teeth grind. My arms automatically hold her tighter.
“Linc?”
“I’m coming,” he calls out to her mother, but his eyes are on Elli before disappearing.
The double meaning isn’t lost on me. “Hey?” I pull her away from me, and tears run down her face. I rub them away with my thumbs while cupping her cheek. “What happened?” I demand.
Her big eyes meet mine, and I watch fresh tears spill over her bottom lashes. A trail of black runs down her cheeks, smearing her makeup. “I can’t stay here. Not right now.” She sniffs.
I nod, grabbing her hand and walking her down the steps and over to my car. I open the passenger door, and she falls into it, fixing her dress that had ridden up.
Getting in, I start the car and pull out of the driveway and through the open gate. I feel something on my back. Wetness? Reaching around, I run my hand over my shirt. Looking at my hand, I see it’s bloody. “The fuck?” I look over at her and see her sitting ramrod straight, her hands in her lap and they’re covered in blood. “Elli? What in the fuck?” I bark. “Why are you bleeding?” Did he hurt her?
Her head drops to her lap, and she uncurls her shaking fist.
“Christ,” I hiss when I see a small piece of black glass embedded into her palm.
With her free hand, she yanks it out, and blood starts running down onto her bare legs. The hem of her white dress soaking it up.
I slam on the brakes, bringing the car to a stop on the side of the road, and reach around to the back seat. I grab my duffel bag and unzip it to find a T-shirt of mine. I rip a piece off the sleeve and grab the duct tape. I take her hand, ball up the now ripped sleeve and hold it over the wound on her palm and then rip the end of the tape off with my teeth before wrapping it around four times, taping it with pressure to stop the bleeding. I then throw everything into the back seat again.
Gently grabbing her face, I pull it to look at me. Her eyes have never looked so hollow. They are the prettiest color of blue I’ve ever seen but right now they look dull—lifeless. “What happened?” I ask, worried for her sanity. I’ve seen her break down before, but she looks like she’s about to lose it.
Swallowing, she whispers, “She married him.”
It wasn’t a question. “Elli—”
“She’s doing it … again,” she chokes out. “Why him?”
My chest constricts at her words. I knew Lincoln’s threat was one I should take seriously. But I didn’t realize until now that he had hurt her before. “What did he do to you, Elli?”
She swallows nervously but doesn’t answer me.
“He’s raped you.” I take a guess. He and James were close. I can only assume that if James used her, he let others as well.
Her bottom lip trembles, and she whispers, “I didn’t say no.”
My teeth clench, and I wish I had killed him when I got rid of James. “How old were you?” I can’t fix the situation unless I know what has happened. And I promise, I’ll fix every problem she’s ever had.
ELLINGTON
EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD
I’M LICKING MY lips when Kira comes to stand next to me. She watches herself in my bathroom mirror while she runs her hands through her curled hair.
“Did you ever answer Michael back?”
“No,” I say, popping the top of my lipstick and start applying it.
“Girl, he’s hot. Go for it.”
“Not interested.” There’s only one guy I want, and it’s not Michael.
“Speaking of guys you’re not interested in… so yesterday I was in the kitchen with my mom, and Sin walked in. My mother told him he should take you out.”
I drop the lipstick in the sink I’m leaning over, red streaks now covering the marble. “What? Why would she say that?”
“She loves you. Duh. Plus, I think she’s tired of him fucking her friends. Gross.” She shudders at the thought, then makes a gagging noise. “Well, he was. He’s in initiation now.” Laughing, she adds, “He can’t fuck anything at the moment, and it’s made him an even bigger dick to be around.”
“What did he say?” I shrug as if I don’t care. But I do. He’s the one I want.
“He laughed, like it was a joke, grabbed his water, and then walked out.”
My heart sinks. The words hurt more than they should. I know we have no future. He wouldn’t want me. Not after what I’ve been through. Plus, he’ll be a Lord. He’s probably got an arranged marriage in place to a pretty virgin who has been saving herself for only him. That’s what they care about. Innocence. No man wants a whore.
“She really does love you, though.” She throws me a bright smile.
“I love her too,” I say, opening the top drawer next to the sink. Reaching up underneath it, I feel around for the little baggie I taped in place. I pull it down and wiggle it in front of her. “Want one?”
“Yes.” She claps her hands before taking the ecstasy I offer her.
We both pop one in and then grab the bottle of vodka, each taking a gulp. “Let’s go get the night going.”
Turning off the light, we exit my bathroom and bedroom. We make our way downstairs and are headed toward the front doors when we pass his office.
“Elli,” I hear him call out, and I release a sigh. I thought he was gone for the night. My mother left this morning for a girls’ trip with Kira’s mom. We’ve had a night out planned for three weeks now. Our first week as freshmen at Barrington University starts next week. We wanted to get out to celebrate our last week of freedom.
We enter his study to see him at his desk. Another man sits on the black leather couch. I’ve never seen him before. A younger guy, around our age, sits across from him in a chair. All eyes are on us. Mine go to my stepdad. He’s looking at Kira with disgust,. his fatherly instincts ashamed of her for wearing a tight miniskirt, heels, and a black bralette.
Then his eyes are on mine, and they darken even more. I learned at a young age that lust makes men primal. They’re fucking animals when they see something they want.
“Where are you two going?” he asks.
“Blackout,” Kira answers, and I fist my hands.
I was going to lie. He doesn’t like me going there. Bad things always happen at Blackout. But what do you expect when a Lord owns a nightclub? Tyson Crawford is what they consider an outcast in their society. He doesn’t give a fuck about anything or anyone. I like that about him. He’s also hot as fuck. I’d let him fuck me. Too bad I’m not allowed to fuck anyone else other than the man looking at me right now.
“Well,” he stands and buttons his suit jacket. “Go along, Kira. She’ll meet you there.”
Her blue eyes meet mine, and I can see her wanting to argue, but I give her a soft smile. “I’ll be right behind you.” Lie. I already know I won’t be leaving this house tonight. Not since my mother is gone. He’ll have all night to do whatever the fuck he wants with me.
“Okay. See you later, Mr. Roland.”
She turns from me, and he walks out from behind his desk. The only reason I let her go is because I know Sin will be at Blackout tonight. Otherwise, I wouldn’t let her go there alone. But she’s safer anywhere else in the world other than this room. That, I do know.
“Come here,” he commands. No longer putting on a show for my friend that is now gone.
Like a dog trained to obey its owner’s command, I walk toward him. My feet are heavy. I stop, and he grips my cheeks painfully, making me whimper. His eyes search mine and then fall to my lips. “Did you take anything?”
I close my eyes, my heart racing. “Yes,” I whisper honestly, unable to lie about the drugs. I learned my lesson that he always finds out when I do.
“Pills or powder?” he demands.
“Pills.”
He pushes me away, and I rub my face. “It was only o—”
He slaps me across the face before I can finish. Then I feel his fingers in my mouth. Shoving them down my throat, and I begin to gag. Instinct has me fighting, and I slap at his chest, pushing him away while I step back.
He yanks me behind the desk and pulls my skirt down my legs along with my underwear. Then he shoves me facedown onto the surface, making it rattle. Seconds later, I hear him removing his belt. “Hands behind your back.”
My heavy breathing fills the room, and I avoid looking at the other two men who are present. We’ve never had an audience before. But he knows I fantasize about multiple men. He makes me tell him everything. I bring them behind me and cross my wrists before I feel the leather wrap around them.
“You’ve trained her well.” The one on the leather couch finally speaks.
I glance over at him to see he’s got his hands steepled in front of him and one leg crossed over the other. His head tilted to the side while his dark eyes are on mine. “Take notes, kid.” He speaks to the younger guy that sits across from him.
“We’ve been doing this for quite some time.” James grunts. “Haven’t we, baby?” His hand runs over my pussy. His fingers slowly enter me, just enough that I push against it. “It’s all about the long game.” He goes on, pushing them in a little deeper, making me whimper.
My eyes are growing heavy. The pill starting to kick in. My face rests on the cold surface of his desk, and my ass wiggles.
“It hasn’t always been easy, but I’ve found that she responds the best to beatings than anything else. She likes it rough.” His fingers spread me wide, and I moan, my eyes falling shut. “You’ve got to train their minds before you touch their bodies.”
“Sounds like you’ve done all the hard work for me,” the kid says, and laughter follows.
I ignore them and focus on the fingers teasing my pussy. They feel too good. My legs spread wider for him, and he removes his fingers, making me groan in frustration.
“What did you take, Elli?” I hear him ask. His voice sounds far off.
“Hmm?” I mumble, my tongue heavy. I’m in a tunnel, far from anyone else.
A hand comes down on my ass, and I wiggle it, wanting more. My skin is starting to tingle, the room growing hot. Why didn’t he remove my shirt too?
“I said, what did you take?” he barks, that sting on my ass following, but I don’t feel it as much as the last time.
“Dude, she’s fucked.” The kid laughs once again.
I don’t know what they’re talking about. All I know is that I need something. Seconds later, the head of his dick is at my entrance, and my lips part on a shaky breath when he enters me.
He hates when I do drugs because he can’t reach me when I’m in bliss. My mind is free of anything or anyone. The drugs make it feel ten times better, though.
“Fuck her mouth, Lincoln. Until she’s throwing up whatever she swallowed,” James commands, and my pussy grips his dick, making him moan.
“My pleasure.” My heavy eyes watch the guy stand from the couch. His hands go to his belt.
“After she pukes, fuck it some more until nothing is left other than the cum you force her to swallow.” James pulls his cock out and then slams it forward. I’m aware of the wetness running down my thighs.
“What if she tries to bite my dick off?” he asks, laughing, now standing directly in front of the desk. His zipper is undone and his cock is in his hand.
I lick my numbing lips.
James pulls out of my pussy, slapping my ass once again. “She won’t. The whore loves to choke on cock.”
“You do know that if she took Molly, puking will only make her roll harder, right?” the kid speaks.
James stills, his cock buried deep into me. He leans over my back, gripping my hair, and yanks my face off the desk. Growling in my ear, he demands, “Is that what you took?”
I can’t even keep my eyes open, let alone answer. The side of my face stings, and my eyes open just enough to see the man standing in front of me slap me again. My vision goes blurry, and I can’t tell if it’s the drugs or unshed tears. I couldn’t care less either way. “He asked you a question, bitch.”
“Fuck it anyway,” James snaps, his hips starting to move once again, shoving mine into the side of his desk. “I want it rough and messy.”
I yank off my seat belt, open the passenger door, and fall to my knees. Thankful that the car was already on the side of the road.
“Elli?” I hear Sin call out, but I’m already on my knees and vomiting on the gravel at that memory. Just like I was made to do that night. The drugs may have affected my ability to function, but the memories are seared into my brain like the brand Sin gave me on my thigh.
My stomach tightens, and my shoulders begin to shake. I manage to puke again, then I start to dry heave since I haven’t eaten much today.
“Elli …” I see him come up in my peripheral. I hold out my hand for him to stay back and start dry heaving again.
When I have nothing else to give, my head bows, my knees tucked underneath me with my hands on my thighs. I start coughing and fist my hands. I’m a fucking wreck. Why? I’ve lived with this for years. Why can’t I control it now?
“Here, let me help you up.” Hands grab my arms, pulling me to my shaky legs, and I shove him away before pulling the hem of my dress down to cover my pussy where it had ridden up.
“Stop, Easton.” His jaw tightens at his name. “Why?” I ask, the back of my hand running along my mouth.
“Why what?”
“Why now? After all these years? Why are you everywhere all the time?” I ask, unable to escape him. How did he know to be at my house tonight? Was it just a coincidence? No, I don’t believe in those. Especially when it comes to Sin.
He steps toward me, and I take one back. He pauses, shoving his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.
“You’ve been sneaking into my room for two years, but we never had sex. Then I start sleeping with David, and you decide to fuck me?”
“Elli—”
“You tricked me.” I interrupt him, not really caring what his answer to that is. Sin doesn’t need a reason. He just does shit whenever he decides he wants to. Plus, I know about their vow of celibacy. It took me a few days to figure out why he waited so long. “Made me think you were someone else.”
He’s silent.
“How long would you have let that go on?” That, I do want to know.
“How long would you have continued to fuck me, the masked me, and David?” he snaps, avoiding answering my question and asking his own. “For fuck’s sake, Elli. You’d think one dick would be enough.”
I slap him across the face with my good hand. I do it again, but he grabs my wrists before I make contact. I yank it free, but the momentum and heels on the uneven road have me falling, my side skidding across the gravel. He doesn’t laugh at me. Instead, he stares at me with pity. My chest squeezes, making it hard to breathe.
“Come on.” He steps forward to help me up again, and I turn around and jump to my feet, dusting off my hands and fixing my dress again. Fuck, I should have worn jeans tonight and tennis shoes.
“I’ll walk.”
“No,” he growls. “Get your ass in the car.”
I take another step back.
“Elli!” he snaps. “Get your ass in my fucking car. Now. I’m not leaving you here on the side of the road. It’s not safe.”
I give a rough laugh. The part of me that wants a fight rears her fucking head, and I say, “I’m sure I can suck someone’s dick for a ride.”
He reaches out, grabs my arm, and drags me back to the car. Shoving me inside, he slams it shut, and I grab the bottle of champagne I had brought with me when I ran out of my mom’s house. Trying to erase the vomit taste, I take a big swig. I wait until he’s in the driver’s seat with the door shut before I shove mine open and run. Needing the head start.
“Fuck,” he hisses, followed by the sound of his door slamming shut.
I hear his feet pounding the gravel behind me as I run off into the woods. Ducking under branches and jumping over large limbs.
I’m panting, my heart racing, but I don’t look back. I just need to keep going. I’d rather be alone than coddled. He fucked me ruthlessly that night after the Freak Show and then as the masked man. Why is he going soft now? Because he found out I’m a whore? He’s always known that. I’ve heard the whispers about me throughout high school and then Barrington. I just never gave a shit. No one really knew me and what I’ve been through, and those who think they have can go to hell.
I’m hit in the back, causing me to fall to the ground. I knew I wouldn’t get far with my heels on. A cry is ripped from my lips as pain shoots up my shoulder and hip.
My arms are grabbed, and I’m shoved onto my back. I look up to see an angry Sin hovering over me. He straddles my stomach, and I slap at his face. “Get the fuck off me.” But he grabs my arms, shoving them above my head and pinning them to the uneven ground.
Sticks and rocks dig into my back, and I scream as loud as I can with frustration into the woods, trying to buck him off, but it’s no use.
“I love it when you scream for me.” He smiles down at me.
Tears sting my eyes, and I close them tightly, refusing to look at him and show any vulnerability. He’s already seen me weak. I can’t take it anymore.
