in front of me.
I glance up from Scout, my heart skipping two beats at the serious look in his eyes.
‘It’s time to go,’ he says, his voice soft.
For a split second, my grip on Scout tightens as fear and anxiety short circuit my mind. I have to physically force myself to relax my grip on her and nod, letting him know I understand. I press my face to Scout’s little head and take a deep breath, fighting not to cry.
‘Tate’s going to take good care of you now, baby girl,’ I whisper. ‘Don’t be afraid.’ I press my lips to her head and linger for a long moment, sending up a silent prayer. When I was a kid, I used to pray for my mom to stop drinking. It never worked, so I figured either God didn’t answer prayers from girls like me, or he just didn’t care.
I’m not even sure if there is a God at this point, but I started praying again when I found out about Scout. If someone is up there, I think they’re listening now. I feel it in my soul. Whether it’s God or Siobhan or something else, I don’t know. But I pray anyway. Harder than I ever have before.
My hands shake when I hand her over to Jules, Tate’s surgery nurse.
‘We’ll take good care of her,’ Jules promises, laying her gently in the small bed they’ll wheel her into the OR room in. She gives me a confident smile. ‘I’ll call you with updates as often as possible.’
‘Thank you.’ My voice trembles.
‘Give us a minute,’ Tate says, glancing at Jules and the anesthesiologist over his shoulder.
‘We’ll wait in the hall with Scout,’ Jules says.
I watch with my heart in my throat as they wheel her out of the room.
Tate waits until they’re gone and then rises to his feet, pulling me up to mine. His strong arms surround me, cradling me against his chest. ‘I have a private waiting room set up for you, angel,’ he murmurs. ‘One of the nurses will escort you out to it.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Gage and Troian are waiting for you out there.’
‘Okay.’
He hesitates.
‘So are my brothers from the MC.’
I pull back to look at him.
‘Don’t be afraid,’ he says, his expression somber. ‘They wanted to be here to support you.’
‘I… Really?’ I ask, shellshocked that they’re here.
He nods, bumping his forehead against mine. ‘You’re family now, angel. What happens to one of us happens to all of us. I’d like you to meet them. If you’d rather them wait in the main waiting room after that, they’re willing to do that. They’ll give you as much space as you need, but they wanted to be here anyway.’
Guilt whispers through me, humbling me. I was so quick to judge them. Now that I know Tate and the kind of man he is, I know how unfair I was to assume every MC was like the one that killed Siobhan. If Tate trusts his brothers, I trust his brothers. How can I not? There isn’t a cruel bone in Tate’s body, and he would never associate himself with men capable of doing such horrible things.
‘They don’t have to do that,’ I say, shaking my head. ‘I want to meet them.’
‘Are you sure?’ he asks. ‘I don’t want to push, angel. Not today.’
‘I want to meet them,’ I say again, meaning it.
‘My fierce little angel,’ he whispers, pressing his lips to my forehead. ‘As soon as surgery is finished, I’ll be out to find you.’
‘I know.’ I squeeze him tight. ‘D-do everything you can.’
‘Everything,’ he vows, his promise reflecting in his eyes. ‘I love you.’
‘I love you too.’
He releases me and ducks out of the room. I squeeze my eyes closed, not nearly brave enough to watch my whole heart disappear down the hall.
Please, I pray. Please.
A few seconds later, Rhonda, one of the surgery nurses, steps into the pre-op holding room. ‘You ready, sweetheart?’ she asks, giving me a kind smile. ‘Dr. Grimes asked me to show you out to the family waiting room where he’s got your crew corralled.’
I glance around the small, windowless room and then nod helplessly. Even though I tell myself I’m not going to look, I find myself peeking down every hallway, looking for Tate and Scout. By the time Rhonda swipes her badge in front of the double doors that bar entry into the surgery suite from the waiting rooms, I haven’t seen them.
‘You’re in here,’ she says, leading me to the hallway on the right. She pauses outside of a heavy oak door. The low murmur of hushed conversation spills out from within. ‘There’s a coffee station inside and a small snack bar. Lucinda at the front desk knows you’re in here. When Jules calls with updates, she’ll send them through to the phone back here.’
‘Thank you,’ I whisper.
She squeezes my elbow. ‘Good luck, sweetheart. We’re all rooting for Scout.’
I swallow hard but don’t respond. If I do, I think I might cry. I’d rather not do that right now. Not with Tate’s brothers waiting on the other side of the door. Not with Scout in surgery. I’ll cry later, once I know she’s okay.
Taking a deep breath, I push the door open.
The waiting room is spacious…or it would be if it weren’t packed with bodies. Tate’s brothers are as big as he is, some even bigger. Troian looks like a little kid next to them. She’s not the only woman in the room. A middle-aged woman with gray hair and a motherly smile stands beside the coffee station, passing out cups. A curvy blonde is cuddled up with a dark-haired hunk, listening intently to a giant of a man with a pirate’s smile and a wicked gleam in his eyes.
Two men in suits are deep in conversation with a middle-aged man on the far side of the room. He keeps one watchful eye on the woman standing by the coffee pot. A hunk in a t-shirt and glasses, another man in a suit, and one in worn Wranglers and a cowboy hat stand next to her, talking quietly to Gage. Another man stands off to the side, his head bent over his phone. A veritable giant leans against the wall next to him, one booted heel planted against the wall.
Everyone falls silent when they see me. Troian gives me an encouraging smile.
‘Hi,’ I squeak, wringing my hands together.
The hunk with the blonde steps forward to meet me, his dark eyes running over me. ‘Hi, sweetheart,’ he says, his voice soft. His expression too. ‘I’m Jason Montoya, but you can call me Cash. You’re Tate’s girl?’
‘I…Yeah,’ I whisper, licking my lips. ‘I’m Samara.’
‘Hi, Samara,’ he says, giving me a little smile. ‘You holding up okay?’
I nod, not sure that’s true. I feel like I could crack apart at any minute.
I think Jason…Cash…knows it. His expression softens further. He takes another step toward me, moving slowly, as if he’s afraid to startle me.
‘If you’d rather be alone today, we can wait in the main waiting room,’ he says, still speaking quietly. ‘But we wanted to let you know that we’re here if you need anything. You and your niece are important to Hands.’ He grimaces. ‘Tate, I mean. That makes you family to every man in this room. We aren’t like most MCs, but we always protect our family, Samara. Understand?’
‘I understand.’
He examines my face for a moment, and then shakes his head, smiling. ‘You don’t, not yet. But you will, sweetheart.’
‘Do I get to hug her now?’ The giant booms.
‘Fuck no,’ Cash snaps, sending a ripple of laughter through the room. Even Troian and Gage laugh.
‘Ah, come on,’ the giant complains. ‘I’ve been waiting years to watch Hands turn into a territorial bastard. Don’t ruin my fun now.’
‘I’m not helping him hide your big ass body, Giant,’ one of the other brothers murmurs. ‘I’ve got enough shit to deal with already.’
‘He couldn’t take me,’ Giant grins, flashing two dimples.
‘Trust me,’ one of the brothers in a suit says, his blue eyes locked on me. There’s something in his gaze that’s almost…sad. ‘He could take you.’
‘Do you want me to kick them out, Samara?’ Cash asks.
‘I…no,’ I say, quickly shaking my head.
He can’t hide his surprise, even though he masks it quickly.
‘Please stay,’ I whisper, a little afraid he’s going to make them leave anyway. I don’t want that. Tate asked me to get to know them, and I want to do that. After everything he’s done for me, I owe it to him to give these men a chance. I owe it to them too. I think I owe it to myself and Scout too.
Cash hesitates for a brief moment and then nods.
‘Then let me introduce you,’ he says, motioning me forward. ‘Come here, kitten.’
The blonde steps forward to meet us.
‘Samara, this is my wife, Hadley.’
‘Hi,’ Hadley says, giving me a sweet smile. Her blue eyes swim with empathy, her expression warm and open. She seems nice. Not fake nice, but genuinely nice. I immediately like her. ‘It’s really nice to meet you, Samara.’
‘You too,’ I whisper. ‘Um, thank you for coming today.’
‘Anytime,’ she says, and I know it’s not just a platitude. She means it.
Cash starts introducing the brothers at the back of the room, pointing to the man in the suit who said Tate could take Giant. ‘That’s Jude Despora,’ Cash says. ‘We call him Fifth.’
‘Nice to meet you, Samara,’ Jude says, giving me a smile.
‘Hi,’ I whisper.
‘Next is Andreas Romano, Playboy.’
Andreas flashes me a smile, not saying anything. He looks a lot like Cash, only with an olive skin tone and a hardness in his eyes that Cash lacks. All the brothers seem like they come from money, but Andreas more than most.
‘I’m Rulie,’ the middle-aged guy beside Andreas says, lifting his hand in a two-finger salute. ‘The gorgeous woman by the coffee pot is my old lady, Gloria.’
‘It’s nice to meet you both,’ I whisper, smiling. I like him instantly.
‘I’m Rafe,’ the guy beside Gloria says, lifting his hand in a wave. ‘You can call me Lynch. Like Andreas and Jude, he’s dressed in a suit.
‘Hi, Rafe.’
‘Landon,’ the hunk in the cowboy hat drawls, winking at me. ‘Everyone calls me Cowboy.’
‘Beside him is Finn,’ Cash says, introducing the guy in a t-shirt and glasses. ‘We call him Hacker.’
‘Hey, Samara,’ Finn says, his lips curving into a smile.
‘I’m Cormac,’ Giant says, flashing me that pirate’s smile. I already know he’s trouble with a capital T. But I don’t think he’s a bad guy. Just a handful. His nickname certainly fits him.
‘And this,’ Cash says, turning to the last man in the room, ‘is His Royal Highness, Damien De Angelis. We call him Angel.’
‘More like His Royal Pain in the Ass,’ Rafe mutters, earning grins from his brothers.
‘His Royal Highness?’
‘Angel is the Crown Prince of Belldonnia,’ Cash says, grinning.
‘Oh, wow,’ I say, fidgeting. ‘Um, I’ve never met royalty before. Am I supposed to bow or curtsey or something?’
‘Fuck no,’ Damien growls, his deep voice slightly accented. ‘I come here to get away from all of that. These assholes just like to give me shit about it.’ He scowls at Cash before turning back to me. ‘It’s nice to meet you, Samara. Though I wish it were under better circumstances.’
‘Me too.’ I glance around the room at everyone, powerful emotion swelling in my chest. For the first time in a long time, maybe for the first time ever, I don’t feel alone. Because of Tate, Scout is surrounded by love and so I am.
Tears of gratitude well in my eyes, spilling over before I can stop them.
‘Thank you,’ I say as their faces blur. ‘All of you.’
Half an hour later, the waiting begins in earnest. Jules calls to let me know that they’re getting started. My hands shake when I hang up the phone. They tremble so hard it takes two tries before I’m able to replace the receiver in the cradle.
Thirteen sets of eyes focus on me when I turn to face the room.
‘They just got started,’ I say, my voice shaking as hard as my hands.
A murmur of unease ripples through the room as everyone tenses at once. I think I let every single one of these men into my heart right then and there. The fact that they care enough to worry about a baby they’ve never met speaks volumes about the kind of men they are. The fact that they’re here at all does too. I’m sure they have a million things they’d rather do today than wait around a hospital, but they’re here anyway.
Troian hops up from her seat beside Gage and hurries toward me.
She leads me toward a chair in the corner, gently urging me to sit.
I plop down, thrusting my hands into the pockets of Tate’s oversized hoodie. I’m not sure if it’s really freezing cold in here or if it’s just me, but I feel like a block of ice sits on my chest. I close my eyes, imagining his arms around me instead of his hoodie. His heart beating beneath my ear, his hands running through my hair. Some ridiculous statement tumbling from his lips. He’s probably a certified genius, but he says stupid stuff all the time, just to make me smile.
Even though he’s in the operating room with Scout, I lean on him and his strength, letting him get me through this.
‘Hi.’ Cash’s wife, Hadley, slips into the seat beside me.
‘Hey,’ I whisper, giving her the approximation of a smile. My leg bounces with nervous energy. It feels like it’s been centuries since Jules called with the last update. I know it hasn’t been that long, but time passes in dribbles, even with Tate’s brothers here.
The sun rose hours ago, and then morning gave way to noon, which is slowly trickling by. The hands on the clock inch closer and closer to one. Tate’s brothers haven’t moved an inch. The waiting room is overrun with handsome men sprawled across uncomfortable chairs. Every single one of them looks like they’re prepared to sit here as long as it takes. Trying not to cry in front of them is taking all of my concentration.
A giant crack opened up in my heart this morning. One side of it is crippled with worry. The other side though…seeing these men here now silently waiting for news about my niece…that side is stitching itself back together little by little.
Hadley is beautiful. Curvy, like me, with aqua eyes and freckles across the bridge of her nose. Her long blonde hair is up in a ponytail, keeping it out of her way. Like me, she’s dressed in leggings and a hoodie. ‘Are you holding up okay?’
‘Yes.’ I exhale a breath. ‘No.’
She slips her hand into mine and squeezes. ‘It’s terrifying, isn’t it? Not knowing, I mean?’
‘Yeah, it is,’ I say.
‘I was in an accident a few weeks ago,’ she says, her voice soft so it doesn’t carry. She lays her free hand on her stomach. ‘I’m pregnant with twins. We were afraid I was going to lose the babies. I still worry about it, but the twins are doing great so far.’ Her lips curve into a tiny smile. ‘Having Hands…um, Tate around helps. He’s an amazing doctor. Your niece is in the best care possible with him.’
‘I know,’ I say, grateful to her for saying it because she’s right. There isn’t a single person in this world I trust more with Scout than I trust Tate. I just wish Jules would hurry and call with another update. It’s been at least an hour and half, maybe longer.
‘Cash told me what happened to your sister,’ Hadley says. ‘I’m so sorry, Samara.’
‘Thank you,’ I whisper.
‘When Scout is better, if you’d like, we’d like to do something to honor her…I mean, if that’s okay with you,’ she hurries to add. ‘What she did was really incredible, you know? I know you didn’t really get a chance to celebrate her life the way you deserve to celebrate her. We want to help you do that. If it’s okay?’ She chews on her bottom lip like she’s worried she may have overstepped and I’m going to freak out.
‘I’d like that,’ I whisper around the lump in my throat as emotion courses through me. Siobhan’s funeral was a sad, rushed affair. It was me, Troian, a preacher, and the detective assigned to her case. There was no time for the celebration she deserved, but I planned to do something more fitting after Scout was okay. If Hadley and Tate’s brothers want to help, I’m not going to tell them no. It’s a touching gesture. Aside from Tate, they’re the first people I’ve met who haven’t immediately assumed the worst about her.
That realization makes me squirm. For a week and a half, I’ve been so upset whenever doctors looked down their noses at me, silently judging Siobhan without knowing her story. They assumed the worst about her without even knowing what she went through, without knowing her. But I did the exact same thing to Tate and his brothers.
‘I’m such a hypocrite,’ I say, feeling about two inches tall.
Hadley looks at me in question.
‘I was…a jerk about MCs,’ I admit, staring at my hands. ‘I judged them so harshly after what happened to Siobhan. But you guys have been so good to me and Scout. Tate has been so good to us.’
‘You aren’t a hypocrite,’ Hadley says, squeezing my hand again. ‘You lost your sister, Samara. You’re allowed to be angry and frightened and confused. Anyone would be. Despite everything, you still gave Tate a chance. You still gave us a chance. That takes courage.’
‘I don’t feel very brave,’ I mutter. Right now, I feel the exact opposite of brave.
‘I know a certain surgeon who would beg to differ,’ she says, grinning at me.
Before I can respond, the door to the waiting room opens.
My breath stalls in my throat.
Tate steps into the room, dressed in scrubs, a green cap on his head, matching green booties on his feet. His emerald eyes immediately come to me, his expression somber. I can’t tell if it’s good news or bad news.
I jump to my feet. I don’t think my heart even beats on my way across the room to him.
He meets me halfway.
Complete silence permeates the room. The only sound is the loud thud of my heart.
‘She’s okay, angel,’ Tate says as soon as I stop in front of him. ‘She’s okay.’
My legs give out beneath me, the weight of the world falling from my shoulders.
Tate catches me before I hit the floor, dragging me into his arms.
I cling to him, sobbing in relief.
