It’s not a dream.
I’m forced to acknowledge that fact over dinner, staring into that beautiful face across me and willing myself not to break into a sweat.
When I’d woken up this morning, I’d almost managed to convince myself it had all been just a dream—a rather intense and exciting dream but one, nonetheless.
Now?
I try to keep a straight face as I look at the man from last night.
Rafaelo.
Cisco proceeds to do the introduction, adding a few other things as he goes on a long soliloquy. I don’t really care, though.
Not as my whole attention is channeled on him.
I hadn’t imagined it. He’s just as beautiful as last night. The only difference is the lighting that makes his features stand out more, the blue of his eyes an even more compelling shade. His hair is swept back, giving him a harsher look. If the other night he’d looked a little boyish with his unruly locks, now he looks all man—threatening, intense…alluring.
The urge to squirm in my seat is strong, and it takes everything in me to meet his gaze head on. Especially as he looks at me with such animosity, I have to wonder if I hit him too hard last night. Because that’s the only explanation why his gaze would be this chilling and unfeeling, pinning me to the spot with a promise of sweet retribution.
‘Pleased to meet you,’ I nod, suddenly feeling under the microscope as he narrows his eyes at me.
He’s holding a butter knife in his hand, his grip so tight the tip seems to be bending. And it’s all while he’s staring at me.
I blink rapidly, a little disconcerted by the hostility I see in his demeanor. But as my brother engages him in conversation, the man seated next to him, Carlos, tapping him on the shoulder, he finally wrenches his eyes from me.
I breathe out relieved, the pressure inside of me decreasing slightly.
Maybe I should apologize for hurting him.
But why should I when he was the one invading my personal space in the first place?
Armed with a new resolve, I tip my chin up, silently observing the conversation around the table and the way charm seems to ooze off Rafaelo when he’s not glaring at me. There’s a compelling quality to his voice as words flow from his mouth, a certain innate musicality to the way he pauses after certain words. His sentences are characterized by an odd fluidity, one that calls to my trained ear.
It’s without realizing that I simply close my eyes, taking a deep breath and focusing on that lilt of his, my entire body covered in goosebumps at the raw yet gentle sound. There’s a deep bass that reverberates in the room every time he speaks, and the hairs on my arms stand up.
Lips parted, I feel almost in a trance as I focus purely on the sounds and their nuances.
For a short while I’m transported to a different time and place, and everything seems to fade away as I feel at peace for the first time in forever. Like a lighthouse beckoning me to safety while the storm rages on, there is a comfort in the way his words are spoken with such assurance, pure confidence drips from them. There’s…
‘Noelle!’
My eyes snap open to see Cisco scowling at me with mild annoyance.
‘Stop being rude when we have guests,’ he chides. ‘You can’t just doze off at the table,’ he shakes his head at me, his fingers drumming on the hard wood of the table in that restless manner of his.
‘I’m sure she didn’t mean to,’ Yuyu intervenes, placing her palm on top of Cisco’s hand, the gesture seemingly calming him.
‘I was not falling asleep,’ I mumble under my breath, rolling my eyes at him.
‘Don’t,’ Yuyu repeats, and I sneak a glance at them to find Cisco on the verge of an apoplexy.
Of course. He thinks I’m embarrassing them.
Amo, too, is regarding me with disappointment in his gaze, probably sure I’m doing this on purpose.
Like everything I seem to do these days.
‘I can’t be so boring as to cause her to fall asleep now, can I?’ Rafaelo interjects, his head turning with predatory precision as he fixes me with his gaze.
My eyelids flutter as a blush envelops my cheeks at his direct perusal, and I suddenly feel the urge to hide. I don’t know what it is about the way he’s always looking at me, but it messes with my senses.
‘Of course not,’ I reply, mustering half a smile.
My brothers are still watching me intently, almost as if waiting for me to mess up.
‘In fact,’ I force my lips to spread even wider across my face, ‘I can’t wait to get to know Rafaelo more,’ I add, fake enthusiasm imbuing my tone.
‘My sister is new to the city. She’s been staying with my mother upstate before, so she’s not quite used to city life.’ Cisco interjects, as if I’d said something so wrong he needed to make an excuse for me.
My hands are balled into fists under the table, and I barely hold back a biting reply, since all he’s done since I’ve been here has been to remind me of my supposed inability of taking care of myself.
‘Is that so?’ Rafaelo asks, his voice a velvet caress to my ears. It takes everything in me not to close my eyes again, focusing solely on his deep rumble and its effect over my entire being.
God, but someone should record the man. I’d listen to that all day.
‘I’ll be venturing quite often in the city in the days to come. Your sister can accompany me if she’d like,’ his mouth curls up as he extends the invitation.
I frown, taken aback by his sudden suggestion. I’m even more surprised considering that the disdain in his eyes has not diminished one bit, yet he wants to spend time with me and show me around?
I’m about to protest, but then I remember my brother and I almost scoff out loud. Considering my current situation, there’s no way Cisco would let me in the company of anyone else, lest I get into more trouble or I embarrass him and his name—the only things he cares about. He barely lets me out with bodyguards, afraid I’d outsmart them somehow and run wild in the city. There’s absolutely no way he would let me go out with a stranger—a male stranger for that matter.
No matter the relationship between Cisco and Rafaelo, my brother isn’t stupid. If anything, I’m sure he’s already thinking I might involve Rafaelo in my next act of rebellion—which is not a completely far-fetched idea.
Except I don’t think Rafaelo would be amenable to that.
Not with the way he’s shooting daggers at me with his eyes at this very moment.
‘What an idea!’ My brother exclaims in good humor and I whip my head around to look at him, shock written all over my face. ‘I’ve been so busy these days that I haven’t had time to indulge Noelle. Knowing she’d be safe in your company would save me a world of worry. You’d like that, wouldn’t you, Noelle?’ Cisco turns to me, his eyes holding a dangerous glint, almost as if he’s willing me to say yes. ‘I know you’ve been eager to go out and visit the city.’
A small pause ensues as I stare at him flabbergasted, but I quickly recover as I realize this might be my only chance to escape the prison of his home.
‘Of course,’ I smile sweetly. ‘I’d love that, Rafaelo. Thank you.’
He doesn’t reply, and I swear I note a twitch in his jaw as if he’s barely holding himself together.
The matter settled, the conversation continues to flow as Carlos intervenes, a calming influence over Rafaelo from what I can tell.
And as arrangements are further made, it doesn’t escape me the way Rafaelo keeps sneaking glances at me. But they aren’t longing glances, or even interested ones.
No. They are filled with deadly intensity and a promise of pain.
I try not to mind him, yet the more time passes, the harder it gets to ignore him. Especially as my entire body reacts at the mere sound of his voice.
After dinner is over, we are all in the foyer seeing Carlos off when he invites Cisco to tour his warehouse in Brooklyn, a look passing between them and implying it’s more than just a warehouse.
‘I’ll let Amo go in my stead,’ my brother politely declines, his hand on the small of Yuyu’s back as he leads her towards the staircase. ‘As you can see, my wife is pregnant. I can’t afford to be away from her even for a second,’ he declares, his eyes filled with love as he looks at her.
For all my brother’s flaws, I have to admit that his love for Yuyu is all-encompassing—and quite possibly his only saving grace. When I was younger, I admired their bond and wished I could find someone who would care for me the way Cisco cares for his wife. But as I grew up, I learned that their love was built on top of others’ sacrifices—mine specifically.
Perhaps that was the day I became disillusioned with everything of an emotional nature. If my own blood was willing to trade me so easily, why would anyone not related to me ever put me first?
My disappointment has only deepened over time, until I’ve simply given up on the idea. Why would I ever need love? Why would I need someone else when I have myself?
No one is going to care about me but me.
‘Wonderful,’ Rafaelo’s mouth tugs up in a knowing smile. ‘Everything is in place for the next part of the plan as we’ve talked.’
‘Now you’re making me curious,’ Amo chuckles. ‘Cisco’s been telling me all about Fenix and how you guys came into being. But I’m really curious to see what you’re packing.’
‘Raf here’s been the mastermind of this particular plan,’ Carlos slaps Rafaelo’s back affectionately. ‘You won’t be disappointed.’
Rafaelo—Raf. Somehow the nickname suits him, yet I feel a gnawing discomfort at using it when I haven’t been given express leave to.
‘If that’s so, then I can see why Cisco would risk getting involved with you,’ Amo replies thoughtfully, his eyes skimming over Rafaelo’s frame as if he doesn’t quite know what to make of him. ‘But I guess I’ll be the judge of that,’ he winks at Cisco, who’s sporting a satisfied smile on his face.
In the back, I’m simply watching all the interactions and some things quickly become evident. Whoever Rafaelo and Carlos are, they are involved in the unsavory part of the family business. Not that I’d had much hope they wouldn’t be.
But what’s even more interesting is the fact that my brother has entered a partnership with them, each side providing something to the other.
The question is what…
Studying Rafaelo, he doesn’t look like a criminal. Not that my brother looks like one either, but compared to some of the men who work under him, or even Carlos, there’s a world of difference between them.
In spite of the evident strength in their physiques, Rafaelo and Cisco have an elegance to them, a fluidity that seems to be absent in Amo or Carlos.
I don’t know why, but the more I listen to the exchange, and the more I catch Rafaelo’s eyes skittering back to me in flashes of anger, the more curious I become about him.
‘I want to go,’ I chime in, and suddenly all attention is on me.
‘You?’ Cisco frowns at me.
‘You said he could show me around,’ I shrug, pointing towards Rafaelo.
His eyes darken at my mention, but he doesn’t reply.
Cisco purses his lips, and I know he’s about to refuse me—not that I had high hopes in the first place. But I find that anything I can do to rile him up is worth it.
‘I’ll watch over her,’ Amo suddenly says, coming to my side and swinging his arm over my shoulder in a familiar gesture. ‘I think some time away from home could help her see we’re not her enemies,’ he continues, looking down at me with a strange expression on his face.
‘Yes. Amo’s right. You need to start trusting me, Cisco.’
‘You haven’t done anything to earn that trust,’ he fires back.
‘Let her,’ Yuyu turns to her husband. ‘Amo’s right that she needs to see we mean her well, and you can’t stifle her forever. Certainly, you can’t hold her prisoner in this house,’ she says and Cisco opens his mouth to argue, but ultimately does not speak as Yuyu continues, ‘Even if it’s for her own good.’
‘I’m not a fool, you know.’ I add, folding my arms over my chest. ‘I know you’re talking about something illegal,’ I shrug as I see his eyes widening in surprise. ‘I’m not innocent of the dealings in our world, Cisco. I haven’t been in a long time.’
Growing up, I’d always had an inkling about what our family was involved in, and I’d catch some snippets here and there that would help me paint a pretty comprehensive picture. It was only after my marriage that I was exposed to every ugly facet of the underground world, and how vicious it could be.
Cisco might not want to admit it, but I ceased to be innocent the moment he gave me away to Sergio.
‘Let her,’ Yuyu repeats, pleading with him with her eyes. ‘It’s time you tried a different approach, dear. Trust goes both ways. You can’t just expect her to sing to your tune every time.’ She leans into him, whispering something in his ear.
He blinks twice, almost surprised at whatever she says, but soon coughs a grunt in her direction.
‘Fine. You can go,’ his tone belies his words. ‘But you better watch her like a hawk,’ he points at Amo.
‘Of course,’ he rolls his eyes.
‘I’m giving you a chance to prove to me that you’re over your tantrums, Noelle. Don’t make me regret this, because you won’t like the repercussions,’ he threatens, and Yuyu is quick to slap his hand, shaking her head at him.
‘I’m serious. Things need to change if I want some modicum of peace in this house. And Yuyu is right. Trust goes both ways. Prove to me you’re a responsible adult—not one prone to hysterical outbursts—and we might discuss again your outside privileges and liberties.’
A lightness forms inside my chest as hope slowly suffuses my being. This is it. The moment I’d been waiting for.
‘But,‘ he continues, because he wouldn’t be Cisco if he didn’t have another hundred clauses to add. ‘Do anything that might endanger the business or besmirch the family name, and I’ll make sure you’re never on your own again.’
Speaking of drastic solutions…
‘Of course. I promise I’ll behave,’ I quickly promise.
Cisco doesn’t look appeased, but Yuyu eventually convinces him to go upstairs, leaving me with Amo, Carlos and Rafaelo.
It hasn’t escaped my notice that Rafaelo has been attentively listening to the conversation, his eyes shrewdly moving between me and my brothers as he’d no doubt made his mind about our relationship.
Not that he’s wrong.
But something tells me that handing him that type of information could prove dangerous.
Very dangerous indeed.
