My hands tremble as I read over the article The Herald published about Luca and Natalia, announcing their engagement. They were captured having dinner together, and the way he looks at her fills me with equal parts longing and heartache. I know I’m not in love with Luca, but there’s something between us that wasn’t there before. I suppose what hurts the most is the thought of everything that could have been, and everything that was. The history between us will start to fade day by day, until it becomes a distant memory, just like my mother said it would.
I inhale shakily as I stare at the list of candidates I compiled. One of them will end up taking over my job, becoming Luca’s closest aide. If I do this well, he won’t even miss me. The right person will make it so that he barely notices my absence.
It’s not me he’s worried about losing. It’s the workflow we’ve created. It won’t be easy, but six months should be enough time to train someone to do everything I currently do for him. No one is irreplaceable in this world — least of all me.
I sigh as I spread out the documents on my living room floor. I could just interview all of them, but I don’t think we have time for that. I need to select my top ten applicants, because I know Luca won’t.
I’ve just about got it narrowed down to twenty applicants when my doorbell rings. I frown in confusion as I head to the door. Sierra or Raven would’ve let me know if they’re coming over, and they always let themselves in once they get here. Neither my mother nor grandmother would come here, because they’d just ask me to go to them.
My eyes widen when I see Luca on the security screen. His cheeks are flushed, and he looks drunk. “Valentina?” he calls through the intercom. What is he doing here? Today is his monthly poker night with his brothers, and he’s never missed it before. His family is everything to him. There’s been more than one occasion when he’s cut business trips short just so he could be back in time for it, so why is he here tonight?
I’m nervous as I let him in, uncertain what to make of this and appalled at the way my heart races.
“Valentina,” he says as he leans in my doorway. He grins at me, and my heart skips a beat. He looks so unguarded. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile at me that way.
“You’re drunk,” I murmur as he stumbles into my apartment.
Luca looks around, his curiosity apparent. “It’s nicer than I remember.”
“What is? My home?”
He nods, and I frown.
“But you’ve never been here before.”
He turns to face me and reaches for me. His index finger traces over the side of my face for a moment, before he pushes my hair out of the way. “Of course I have,” he tells me. “Do you have any idea how many apartments I viewed before I bought you this one?”
I blink in confusion. “What?”
He lets his hand fall away and sighs. “No, of course you don’t,” he whispers. “There’s so much you don’t know.”
“Luca,” I say hesitantly. “What are you doing here?”
He stares at me like I’m a mirage, like I could disappear at any second. “I don’t know,” he admits. He raises his hand and grabs a strand of my hair. “I always used to wonder what your hair would feel like, and then I found out, so I started to wonder what it would look like spread over my pillows. It kills me that I’ll never know.”
He lets go of my hair and lets his fingers trail over my jaw, before moving down to my throat, his eyes never leaving mine as his hand slips around the back of my neck. Luca tilts my face up toward his, and my breath catches.
“Luca, you’re drunk. You aren’t thinking clearly. I’ll call your driver, okay?”
He shakes his head. “My thoughts have never been clearer than they are tonight. Tell me, Valentina. Are you leaving me for another man?”
My eyes widen. “I… what?”
He takes a step closer, until his body is pressed against mine. “Who is it?”
I shake my head. “Luca, there isn’t anyone, but even if there was, how is that any of your business? You’re engaged.”
His hands wrap around my waist, and before I realize what he’s doing, he’s lifted me into his arms and up against the wall. My legs instinctively wrap around his hips to hold myself up, and he groans, his forehead falling against mine. Our positions are the same as they were that night, and I wonder if he realizes it.
“I don’t even remember her fucking name,” he tells me. “I can’t, because all of my thoughts are filled with you.”
I grit my teeth and bury a hand in his hair, throwing caution to the wind. “That’s bullshit,” I snap. “I saw the lipstick on your face. I’m the one who made your dinner reservation, the one who sent her roses. What game are you playing, Luca? Don’t even dream of messing with my emotions just because you’ve run out of other options to control me with.”
He looks into my eyes, his gaze dropping to my lips for a moment. “I never kissed her,” he tells me. “Not once. I can’t even imagine it. The lipstick… I’m not sure what she was trying to do. I think she was trying to kiss my cheek? I don’t know, Valentina. I stepped away, but I couldn’t avoid her entirely.”
I stare at him, unsure what to believe, unsure why he’s attempting to explain at all. “I don’t care,” I whisper. “I don’t care what you do with your fiancée. It has nothing to do with me.”
His grip on my waist tightens for a moment before he moves his hands up, until they’re resting right below my breasts. “It has everything to do with you,” he murmurs. “You didn’t decide to leave me until that girl walked into my life. Tell me the truth, Valentina. Would you have quit your job if that engagement hadn’t been forced on me?”
I’m at a loss for words and look away, unable to hold his gaze.
Luca sighs and leans in to rest his head on my shoulder, his lips pressed against my neck. “You wouldn’t have,” he whispers, before kissing my neck softly.
A soft gasp escapes my lips, and he repositions me against him, letting me feel how hard he is. “Valentina,” he whispers. “Please. Please don’t leave me.”
I close my eyes and will myself to get it together. He might be drunk, but I’m not. This can’t go any further. I push against his chest and unwrap my legs, forcing him to let me go. He does so reluctantly, keeping his arms wrapped around me even when my feet hit the floor.
“Let go,” I tell him. “What do you think you’re doing, Luca? Do you truly think I don’t realize what you’re doing? You failed to bribe me, so now you’re trying to emotionally manipulate me?”
He takes a step away from me, hurt flashing through his eyes. “I would never do that to you, Valentina.”
“Then what is this? You know as well as I do that you’ll have to marry Natalia before the year is over. There’s nothing you can do or say that would change that. So, this? How is this fair to me? Why now? Can you truly look me in the eye and tell me that you aren’t doing this in an attempt to bend me to your will?”
Luca runs a hand through his hair and looks up at the ceiling. He looks as lost as I feel. Is any of this real? For years, he treated me with near disdain. I’ve always just been an employee to him, and nothing more. Part of me wants his desire to be real, but I’ve known Luca long enough to know it can’t be. He’s a control freak, and I’m not walking the road he paved for me. He’s trying to get me back on track, and he’ll stoop to whatever means necessary.
“I need you to leave. I’ll let this go on account of our history. Tomorrow morning, we’re going to pretend this didn’t happen, and in six months, you’re going to let me go. Nothing you do or say will change my mind, Luca. I’m done being your pawn.”
I walk to the door and hold it open for him. He sighs and follows me reluctantly. I didn’t think he’d have anything left to say, but he leans against the doorway and looks into my eyes, his gaze unfocused. “You were never a pawn,” he says, his voice soft. “You were always my queen. Everyone knew it but you.”
Then he walks out, leaving both my thoughts and my heart in disarray.
