My heart is thumping in my chest as I sit up in Luca’s bed, my most conservative pajamas covering every inch of me. I purposely chose the ugliest, rattiest, most old-fashioned pajamas I’ve got. It’s a black and white checkered two-piece, and it makes me look like a freaking Dalmatian. I don’t think I’ve ever looked quite this unattractive before.
I can’t even figure out why I’m acting this way. I’m not one to get scared, or to be intimidated, yet the idea of spending the night with Luca fills me with a strange kind of anxiety. Everything happened so quickly that I haven’t had a chance to truly let it sink in. How are we supposed to go from weeks of arguments and distance to… whatever this is? We can’t.
The distinct sound of the shower running fills my ears, keeping my nerves sky-high. I’ve been in Luca’s home countless times, yet it all feels brand new and unfamiliar. I still remember when he had this place renovated, two years after we started working together. Back then, he still hadn’t given up on making me quit, and he’d made me decorate his entire house for him.
I’m the one who chose this bed, and I even hand-selected these pillows for him. I never thought I’d someday end up sharing his bed. I never could’ve imagined that someday, I’d be his wife.
My jaws clench involuntarily as I think back to the way he’d decline twenty different pillows, just to annoy me. It was around that time that he realized nothing he could ask of me would be too much. I did it all with a pleasant smile on my face, even when I felt like I wasn’t learning anything, or when the things he’d ask of me clearly fell outside of my job role.
Was that when things started to change between us? Shortly after, he started entrusting me with more important work. The change was gradual, but that was a definite turning point.
“What are you thinking about so hard?”
My eyes widen when I see him standing in the doorway with nothing but a pair of black boxer shorts on. My eyes roam over his body, and my face flushes instantly. I always thought he looked amazing in a suit, but he looks far better without it. My eyes settle on the waistband of his boxer shorts, where a deep V is clearly visible below his abs. I know that he works out every single day, but I never quite realized what the result of that would be.
“Valentina?” he says, his tone amused.
I tear my gaze away, my face no doubt red. “Just happy to learn that the pillows I picked are as comfortable as I remember them being.”
Luca chuckles, and I glance back at him to find him looking somewhat remorseful. He cups the back of his neck and looks away. “They were just replaced,” he murmurs. “Thank you for that, by the way. I’m not sure I’ve ever told you this, but when you do something, you do it well.”
My lips tug up into a genuine smile, and I shake my head. When I bought these pillows, I also requested that the store replace them every two years. I didn’t think he’d even realized that. I always assumed that’s something his housekeeper would handle. Luca has a whole team that comes in while he’s at work, and they take care of his every need.
He walks up to the bed, and I swallow hard. “Are you… are you going to sleep like that?”
Luca gets into bed and turns to face me, his back against the headboard. Is he purposely keeping his torso on display for me? “Why? Does it bother you?”
I tug at the collar of my pajamas and shake my head. “No. Of course not.” I can’t admit that it does bother me — that would feel too much like admitting defeat.
Luca laughs, and I glance at him, my heart skipping a beat. He looks so ridiculously sexy, lying in bed like that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so relaxed, so disarmed. “Hey, Perdita,” he murmurs.
I raise my brows, surprised he knows the names of any of the 101 Dalmatians.
“There’s an important aspect of our wedding ceremony that we missed out on.”
“What part?” I ask, confused.
“The part where I get to kiss the bride.”
My eyes widen, and I look away, flustered. My embarrassment earns me another chuckle from him, and I see him shake his head from my peripheral vision. “You’re so fucking cute,” he murmurs. “I didn’t think you could get more beautiful, but I think I like you best just like this. Your long hair falling down your shoulders, your face devoid of any makeup. It just highlights how naturally beautiful you are, Mrs. Windsor.”
Mrs. Windsor. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to hearing him say that. How come he’s so unaffected? How is this not insanely weird to him?
Luca reaches for me, eliciting a soft yelp from me when he lifts me into his arms and positions me so I’m straddling him, our positions the same as in the car. It seems so long ago, but it’s only been a few hours. He places his hands on my thighs and looks into my eyes, his gaze moving leisurely, as though he’s trying to memorize every inch of my face.
I look away, confused by the way my heart races. I’m still mad at him, but when he looks at me like that, I can’t help but want to forgive him.
“Valentina,” he whispers, his voice husky. “Look at me.”
I bite down on my lip, my entire body tensing at those words. Does he know what he does to me when he says that? Does he realize which memories resurface when I hear him say those words?
“Look at me, wife.”
I do as he asks, my heart hammering in my chest. My cheeks are flushed, and I can barely make myself raise my head.
“Thank you,” he murmurs.
My eyes widen, and he grins at me.
“I suppose it isn’t often that you hear me say that, is it?” He reaches for me, the tips of his fingers brushing over my temple gently. “If not for you, I’d have to spend three years in pure torment. I know this situation isn’t ideal for you, and I’ve asked too much of you, but I’ll do everything in my power to ensure you don’t regret this, Valentina. I may never have been a good boss to you, but I’ll be a good husband. I promise.”
I stare at him in disbelief, surprised by the sincerity in his gaze. From the moment we got married, he’s been surprising me at every turn. He’s been gentle and kind, and so very unlike the man I know.
“Luca,” I murmur, my voice shaky. I don’t know how to ask the questions that I need an answer to. “We’re married now, but technically, you’re still engaged to Natalia. I need to know where we stand and what you expect of me.”
He turns his wrist, the back of his hand brushing over my cheek, his eyes on mine. “Let’s take a few days to grow accustomed to each other before we tell my grandmother, to ensure that we’re acting in a natural and intimate way, the way a real couple would. Would anyone believe us when you look at me like you’d love to kill me in my sleep?”
I can’t help but smile at his words and shake my head. It’s odd how hard it is to truly hate him. The pain he caused throughout the last few months hasn’t disappeared, but right here, right now, he makes it easy to forget.
“Once we’ve nailed our interactions and we’re sure we can fool my grandmother, we’ll tell her. I don’t think it’ll be easy to break that engagement, but what else can she do when I’m already married? It might take a little bit of time, but it’ll be resolved. We just need to find a way to do it without damaging our relationship with the Ivanovs. In the meantime, I’ve asked our medical team to oversee the appointment of your grandmother’s nurses. I’m making it a top priority, so you don’t have to worry about a thing. Just play your role as my wife, and I’ll do my part too.”
I nod, my heart heavy. It won’t be easy to fool his grandmother, and we’ll have to put on a convincing act. There clearly is lust and chemistry between us, but love will be a lot harder to fake.
“We really should practice some more,” he whispers. “It’s been so long since I had a taste of you.” He cups my face, his thumb brushing over my bottom lip as his gaze lowers. I inhale sharply when I feel him harden underneath me. “So tell me, wife. Will you let me kiss you?”
My heart skips a beat, and the clear longing in his eyes only fuels my own. I don’t think Luca has ever been this sweet to me. He’s a familiar stranger that I want to get to know, against better judgment.
My gaze drops to his lips, and he hardens even further underneath me, yet he doesn’t move. He just stares at me, waiting patiently. I lean in a little, my lips hovering over his. Months of endless jealousy and resentment, of wanting to lash out at him and hurt him the way he’s hurt me, of making him suffer for the way he blacklisted me. All of that, only for us to end up right here, right now, in each other’s arms.
“I think I hate you,” I whisper.
Luca’s hand threads through my hair, and he grips tightly. “Hate me as much as you want, baby. Resent me. Despise me for shackling you to me when I should’ve offered you unconditional help. Torment me for using you, Valentina, but don’t you fucking leave me.”
“I can’t,” I murmur as I close the distance between us, my lips brushing against his. “I can’t leave you.” I tried, yet here I am, in his bed. I give in and kiss him, taking what I’ve been wanting all along.
Luca groans and fists my hair, his touch rough as he forces my lips open, deepening our kiss. His hands roam over my body with such urgency that he’s almost got me believing that this is more than just simple lust.
“Fuck, Valentina,” he groans, his lips moving to my neck. I gasp and push against him, sitting up on my knees to put some distance between us.
His hands fall away, and he stares at me, his gaze heated. “Stop,” I whisper, my thoughts in turmoil. “I… we need to work tomorrow, and it’s late.”
He sighs and gently brushes his knuckles over my cheek. “Okay, Mrs. Windsor,” he tells me, the edges of his lips turning up into a small smile.
I move off him and lie down in bed, my heart racing. I’ve never felt this conflicted. The way he makes me feel is so unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. There’s no denying that I want him, yet his every touch fills me with heartache.
