Valentina holds my hand tightly as we walk into her mother’s house. I’ve been here so many times now, yet it feels different this time. I feel like a fucking failure, an embarrassment. Despite that, my mother-in-law smiles when she sees me.
“You’re home,” she tells me, not even a hint of judgement in her gaze. Perhaps she hasn’t heard about what happened yet. “Have you eaten? Come sit.”
She takes us into the living room, and I sit down quietly, unsure of what to say. When Valentina told me to come home with her instead of wasting money at a hotel, it made sense, and I agreed with her. But I regret it now. I don’t want to intrude, and no doubt this won’t make her mother look favorably on me.
“Relax, Luca,” Mom says. “This is your home too. Technically, it’s Val’s, since she paid it off entirely all by herself. You don’t need to look so guilty. You’ll always be welcome here.”
“I… we… we won’t intrude for long,” I promise her. “It won’t take me long to find a new job.” My hand wraps around Valentina’s, and she squeezes reassuringly.
“I’m worried about you two,” she says, before glancing at my wife. “I really like you, Luca, but that wasn’t always the case. When you first got married, I was worried that you’d lead my daughter down the same path I walked. To have you sitting here, the circumstances so similar to back then… it really worries me. I know you love Val, but love often isn’t enough. The only reason I have some faith in you is because you’ve essentially already been living here for weeks, and you never seemed bothered by the things that Miguel used to despise. I’ve seen you do the dishes and tidy the house, and you always clean up after yourself too. You seem like you’ll be fine without the luxuries that have surrounded you all your life, but for how long? How long until you start to resent my daughter for everything you lost? How long until you realize how hard you’ll have to work? This is the same situation that changed the man I thought I knew.”
“Mom,” Valentina murmurs, but I squeeze her hand and shake my head.
“I understand your concerns,” I tell her. “But I have full faith that I’ll prove you wrong. From the moment I lost my parents, I’ve been asked to prove my worth. I’ve had to step up and earn everything I have. Even at work, Valentina and I both started at the bottom and worked our way up. We did that once, and we can do it again. We make for a great team, and I firmly believe there’s nothing we can’t get through together.”
My words may sound confident, but deep down, I’m worried I’ll let both of them down. The last thing I want to do is make my wife suffer. The mere thought of being unable to provide for her kills me. She needs more rest, not more worries. I want to give her time to properly grieve, yet here she is, dressed for battle on my behalf. She shouldn’t be looking for jobs right now, and I don’t want her worrying about me, but what can I do? I feel like I’m failing her, but I’m so selfish that I can’t let her go.
“We’ll be fine, Mom,” Valentina says. “I promise. Don’t worry about us, okay? Luca is nothing like Dad. You see that, don’t you?”
“I do,” she admits, and that’s enough for me. It’s all I can really ask for. The rest, I’ll have to prove to her. I’m nothing like Miguel at all. There’s a lot to be said about my grandmother, but she ensured we didn’t grow up spoiled and entitled. We all had to work hard for everything we’ve got, and it’s equipped us with the necessary skills to make it anywhere.
Valentina holds my hand as we head up to her bedroom, everything around me feeling brand new. The door closes behind us, and I stare at her bed for a moment, my heart wrenching.
I want real happiness, and you’ll never be able to give me that, Luca.
That’s more true now than it was then. Did she come find me because she pitied me? Did she feel like she owed me for anything?
“Please don’t do that,” she whispers, and I glance at her, my heart aching. “Don’t look so heartbroken, Luca.”
I gently cup her face and sigh. “Now is your chance,” I murmur. “If I truly don’t make you happy, now is your chance to walk away. I have nothing to offer you, Valentina. I won’t ever hold it against you, and I can’t force you to stay. The last thing I want to do is drag you down with me.”
She shakes her head and grabs my hands. “I told you, right? I’m never letting you go again, no matter how selfish it may be. I won’t tell you that I’m not scared, or that I feel completely better, because that isn’t true. My insecurities still plague me, and I can’t guarantee I won’t say something that will upset you. When things get bad, I may continue to push you away, and I may say things I don’t mean. Will you allow me to hold on to you despite that? If I promise to work on being better, will you stay by my side?”
My heart skips a beat as I drop my forehead to hers. “Nothing you could do or say will ever make me leave you, Valentina. You are, without a doubt, the love of my life. You are the single best thing that has ever happened to me. When I married you, it’s all versions of you I signed up for. The good, the bad, the occasional crazy. I never just wanted your very best. I want it all, baby.”
Her arms wrap around me, and she hugs me tightly. “We’re going to be fine, aren’t we?”
“Yes,” I murmur as I lean in to kiss her. “We’re going to do what we do best, Valentina. We’re going to fight. For us, and for the future we know we can have.”
