My eyes are on Daniel as I walk into the courtroom. After what happened at the auction, I was certain that he’d get in touch with me, that maybe he might want to try getting back together or at least postpone the divorce. I should’ve known better.
I sit down and barely respond as the judge reviews our case. It feels like my heart is ripped right out of my chest when the judge signs the paperwork that finalises our divorce. Daniel doesn’t look at me once, yet my eyes never leave him. Part of me wanted to plead with him. To beg him to give us another chance. Would it have made a difference?
I’m surprised when he offers me his hand. I take it absentmindedly, my body still so used to giving in to him. His fingers close around mine and he pulls me up. He’s smiling brightly, and his happiness breaks my heart. Is he that relieved our marriage has officially come to an end?
“How about we get a drink?” he says.
“What? You want to get champagne and toast to finally getting rid of me?” I snap, unable to keep my cool. I grit my teeth and push past him, but he wraps his arms around my waist from behind and then closes the distance between us until my body is flush against his. The way he’s holding me reminds me of the way he hugged me once when we were cooking together. It reminds me of better times, and it hurts to remember how good things were between us.
“Come on, Lyss. Just one drink, okay?”
I subconsciously lean back against him and sigh. Who knows? It might be the last time he and I will spend time together. He’s become a master at avoiding me recently. If I walk away now, there’s a chance I’ll never get to have alone-time with him again. I’ll have to rely on catching glimpses of him when we both happen to be at Mary’s.
“Yeah, okay,” I murmur. There isn’t much I wouldn’t suffer through to spend a bit of time with him. He offers me his arm as we walk out of the courtroom. I glance at him as I thread my arm through his. I’ve gotten so used to holding his hand, our fingers entwined. I guess I’ll never feel his fingers against mine again.
Daniel takes me to the same hotel we went to on our first date and uses his black card to grant us access. The rooftop bar is almost entirely empty, but we sit down in a secluded spot nonetheless. I grab my purse with shaking hands and take out my own Devereaux black card. The ties between us are being cut one by one, it seems.
I place the card on the table and slide it towards him. “This is yours. I’m no longer entitled to have it. I’m no longer a Devereaux, after all,” I murmur.
Daniel stares at me with an expression I can’t quite decipher. “Did you ever really consider yourself to be a Devereaux?” he asks.
I’m startled by the question and unsure of how to respond. Daniel laughs. “Hmm, I guess you did. I recall you once ordering me to call HR and explain to them that Mrs. Devereaux, my own wife, was harassing me.”
I blush at the memory. What was I thinking, acting so bold with him? Even back then, he pulled away from me so often. That was the same day he told me he wanted to see other people. He kept declining my advances and kept his distance, yet I refused to see the signs. I failed to see that he wasn’t falling for me the way I was for him.
Daniel shakes his head and slides the card back to me. “Keep it,” he says. “You’re still family.”
I frown at his words. “Family? You see me as family?” I ask, my tone sharp. The mere idea of him changing the way he sees me is excruciating. I don’t want to be seen as his little brother’s best friend. And I definitely don’t want him to see me the way he sees Dominic — as a sibling.
Daniel freezes and stares at me for a second before shaking his head. “I meant that you’re a family friend. You should keep the card. Who knows when you might need it. It’ll guarantee you access to anything that I have access to. It’s a duplicate of my card. You should be able to enter any Devereaux building with it, including our summer houses and the office.”
“Family friend, huh? Did you give Olivia one of these cards?” I ask, my heart twisting painfully. I genuinely thought this was something special. Something I only had because I was Daniel’s wife.
Daniel smiles and shakes his head again. “No. You’re the only person outside of the family to have one. You’ll always be the only one, Alyssa.”
I pick the card up and stare at it. I know I need to insist on giving it back. I know I need to burn the bridges between us if I ever want to have a chance at getting over him. But I can’t get myself to do it.
I’m not even remotely surprised when the waiter walks up with a bottle of champagne, but I am hurt. I struggle to smile when Daniel raises a glass.
“I thought champagne was only for celebrations. What exactly is it you’re celebrating?” I ask him, knowing full well what the answer to that is. Maybe I’m just a sucker for punishment. Daniel grins at me, his eyes twinkling.
“A new beginning. Here’s to us,” he says.
He waits patiently for me to clink my glass against his. For a second I consider being petty and refusing to toast, but then I think better of it. If our divorce makes him happy, then I shouldn’t stand in the way of that happiness. I tap his glass and proceed to empty mine in one go. Daniel chuckles again as I put the empty glass down. How is it possible to both love and hate the sound of his laughter? Every time I hear him laugh, a bit of my heart falls apart.
“We were here when we just got married, do you remember?” he says.
I nod and look around the restaurant. It looks different in daylight, but it’s every bit as romantic. “I remember. We’d only been married for a day then.”
Daniel nods. “Hmm, you told me then that you’d always been in love with Dominic. He told you he feels the same not too long ago, right? Now that you’re finally free, you can follow your heart.”
I chuckle mirthlessly. “Did you know back then? Could you see what I couldn’t? Did you know I was merely comfortable with him and perhaps a bit infatuated… Did you know it wasn’t love?”
Daniel looks down and then takes a big sip of his champagne. “Are you sure you aren’t in love with him? There’s no marriage and no fidelity contract tying you to anyone else now. You and I haven’t been together in months now, except for that one time at the auction… You should follow your heart, Alyssa.”
I stare out the window. Following my heart would mean losing Daniel forever. If I hide my feelings for him, then perhaps I can remain in his life as a friend.
“Hmm, I’m sure it wasn’t love. I doubt that he’s in love with me as well. He’ll realise that it was merely infatuation when he truly falls for someone. I doubt Dominic knows what love is.”
He nods and looks vaguely pleased. “So what’s happening with Liam Evans, then? You brought him to the auction and he’s clearly very fond of you.”
I glare up at him. “That might have led somewhere if I didn’t disappear with my ex, only to come back looking thoroughly ravished. I actually felt quite bad. He’s a great guy, but I’m not ready to be in a new relationship. Maybe in a few years. Who knows?”
I shake my head and try my best to smile at Daniel. “When we were last here, you told me there’s a girl you couldn’t get off your mind, but you weren’t sure if it was love. But by the time you signed the divorce papers, you told me you were irrevocably in love with her.”
My heart hurts just saying it and my stomach knots together painfully. I need to take a second to breathe in deeply before I can manage to ask my question. “It seems like you fell for her while we were married. Was it Olivia or was it someone else? Someone who works at Devereaux Inc, maybe? You did spend most of your time leading up to our divorce there.”
Daniel bites down on his lip and looks away. I hate how cute he looks. He looks just like a guy talking about a girlfriend he adores, and it absolutely tears me to bits.
“It’s not Olivia,” he says carefully. “Liv and I are just friends. Nothing more. We’ve never been more and we never will be.”
I nod. I kind of figured as much after I saw the way they interacted at the auction. They were close, but not all over each other. Dominic was right to say they weren’t intimate in any of the photos published either. I was just too jealous to see it.
“Someone at Devereaux Inc then. Will you tell me who it is?”
Daniel shakes his head. “You’ll find out soon enough,” he murmurs, a sweet smile on his face. He looks in love and happy just thinking of her. I wrap my arms around myself subconsciously, trying my best to shield myself from the damage he’s inflicting on me.
“So you’re dating her, then?”
I can’t help but wonder if he’s been dating her for a while now. Was he already in a relationship with her at the auction? Did he get with her right after buying his way out of the fidelity contract?
“It’s complicated,” he says.
I nod and empty my refilled champagne glass. Will I be able to do it? Will I survive seeing him with someone else? Seeing him kissing another woman and holding her hand… Can I remain friends with him and genuinely wish him well? I don’t think I can.
“I’m sorry I stood in the way of your happiness for so long, Daniel. I know firsthand how good of a partner and husband you will be. Whoever she is, she’s a lucky girl. I genuinely wish you happiness and love, because you really do deserve it. But I don’t think I can be part of your life going forward. I don’t think we should be friends, and I don’t think we should stay in touch either. Maybe in a few years… but not now. I hope things work out for you, Daniel. I hope she gives you what I couldn’t. I hope she makes you happy… but I don’t want to be around to see it. I can’t.”
I stand up and walk away, leaving what’s left of my heart in Daniel’s hands.
