Taking a sip of the tea, I ran my eyes over the newspaper. The noise of Mom chopping vegetables and moving utensils in the kitchen rang across. But nothing moved my attention from the paper, not even her curious glances.
“You know the Blackwood’s daughter ran off with her cousin’s fiancé?” Her sigh resonated from the opposite side of the counter. “I got to know from the kitty party last night. Children these days, I don’t know what runs in their head.”
I flipped another page.
“Your aunt called me this morning to inform me how she’s enjoying her vacation in Switzerland with her third husband and soon will be sending me some pictures of their little honeymoon.” She snorted. “As if I wanted to know, anyway. I’m glad your dad didn’t go after his elder sister. Thank God she’s not in the country right now. At least I got some relief from her frequent visits.”
I stayed quiet. Not warning her about Dad’s hearing her slandering about his sister to me, just like I did every time.
“Em?”
“Yeah,” I answered, my voice came out croaky.
“You need some more tea?”
I shook my head, not looking at her.
“Are you okay, honey?” she asked, hesitating.
This time I did glance at her, plastering a small smile on my face. “Yeah, why do you ask?”
Her turquoise eyes observed me. “You’re looking… tired. Didn’t get any sleep last night?”
I knew what she was indicating. The dark circles, the puffy eyes.
Nothing goes missing from Mother’s eyes, does it?
A squeeze in my chest made me take a deep breath. I wish I could tell her.
“Nothing like that, Mom. I did sleep last night. Just having a headache since the morning. It’ll get better, don’t worry.”
“So that’s why you didn’t go to the office today?” Concern etched on her features. “Why didn’t you tell me? Did you take medicine?”
I nodded. “Yes, I did. I’ve also informed Caleb about it. I took a leave today.”
“Good. Take some rest. You’re taking too much work stress nowadays.”
Work wasn’t the issue. They barely gave me any actual work to do to be stressed.
Smiling at her, I looked back at the newspaper. The newspaper I’d been sitting with for the last half an hour. Not reading, just staring.
The clicking of heels against the tiled floor reached my ears. My fists clenched.
“Tess?” Mom exclaimed. “What’re you doing here? I thought you had an appointment for cake tasting today. Are you done with it already?”
“I cancelled it, Mom. I had to go to a conference with Caleb this morning.” Placing her designer bag on the countertop, she sat beside me. “Hi, Em.”
I gritted my teeth, not reciprocating. My eyes glued to the big bold headlines.
Mom’s silence indicated that she noticed the tension lurking around us. “I made some tea for Em. You need some?”
“Sure,” Tess said, staring at me.
After giving her a cup of steamy tea, Mom excused herself to talk to Dad regarding something and left us alone. Not wanting to sit with her alone in the kitchen, I got up from my seat. That’s when her voice stopped me.
“Why aren’t you answering Achilles’s phone or messages? You didn’t even go to the office today. He’s a mess right now, Em. That guy was outside of our house the entire night, and you didn’t even let him explain anything!”
My head snapped to her, staring at her in disbelief. She was accusing me being the cause of his misery when she was the one who should be apologizing to me?
She knew! She freaking knew everything and joined hands with him in his absurd plan to display me some ridiculous show! To hurt me. To push me away from him. She was aware of everything but didn’t even try to tell me once in these years. And here she dared to question me?
“Are you even hearing yourself? After what he did, what you did, you’re telling me to give him a chance to explain?” I shook my head in exasperation.
She pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a sigh. “I know, Em. And I’m extremely sorry for that. You don’t know how guilty I’ve been feeling for hurting you. But Em, you have to understand. Whatever we did, yes, it wasn’t the best way to do it, but it was for your own good. Trust me.”
I snorted. “My own good? What was good in there, Tess? I don’t see any good in my living with a broken heart for seven years. I don’t see anything good in my suffering for the last damn seven years!” My voice rose as I spoke. With my heart beating fast in my chest, my breathing was harsh as hot lava ran through my veins.
“I know the pain in love. I’ve experienced it. And I also know we shouldn’t have done it. But at that moment, we were young, Em. We didn’t know how to handle this matter. The phase Achilles was going through…”
She closed her eyes for a moment before opening them back, as if not wanting to remember the memories.
“Maybe he told you about his condition back then, but he didn’t tell you of the severity of it. He was going through a living hell. And Caleb, Tobias, and I saw it. We saw him writhing in pain in his bed when he didn’t get his dose. We heard his screams from his nightmares. No matter how much he tried to get over it, he couldn’t. And no one in their sane mind would want the girl they loved to see them in that state.”
I stopped breathing at her revelation. Imagining him in that situation shook me to my core. An urge to reach out to him rose in me, but I suppressed it.
“After knowing how important he was for you, he couldn’t let you dream of him anymore. Even we didn’t think he’d be able to get out of his addiction ever. And when I told him about your plan to confess to him that night, he sought my help. And as his best friend, and thinking of your well-being, I agreed. Please forgive us, Em. Whatever we did, we did for you.” She added, moisture sparkled in her eyes.
“This doesn’t justify anything. I wasn’t that young that you guys couldn’t tell me. But I was young enough for the scene you guys created to have me shattered completely,” I said. My jaw clenched. “Anyway, I don’t want to talk about it anymore. You did whatever you thought was right. And now I’ll do whatever I think is right.”
With my chin high, I turned around to leave.
“Em, please. If you don’t want to talk to me, then don’t. I understand. But at least let him explain. Listen to him once. Don’t just shut him off like that,” she almost pleaded. “You don’t know what you mean to him, Em. That man is nothing without his Rosebud.”
My heart clenched. Gulping the thickness in my throat, I walked out of the kitchen without another word.
The warm water trickled down every curve of my body, soaking me into its heat, relaxing the knots of my shoulders. But it couldn’t soothe me, the pain in my chest. Though it washed away the tears that fell down my cheeks relentlessly.
It hurt. It pained so fucking much! As if someone was physically churning a dagger into my heart again and again. A choked sob left my mouth. Clutching the place over my heart, I slid down the glass wall of the shower and hugged my legs to my chest.
“Why did you do it? Why?” I whispered, letting the tears free.
It felt like the wound I got that night had been scratched anew. I felt the same agony I endured years ago. And the irony was, the incident I’ve suffered for so long for wasn’t even real. It was all a sham. A joke. A cruel joke life had thrown at me. Not life—my sister and the boy I loved.
They say they did it for my own good. To save me from getting hurt. But did they really save me from getting hurt? No, they only threw me into the ocean of tears I’d flown every night in silence after that night. They had thrown me to the disgust I’d felt dating so many guys who I didn’t even feel any connection to. The kisses I’d shared, even if it hurt my own heart. The man who was always there for me, I’d hurt him in the process. I could never return his love.
And all of this happened because he thought it’d be good for me by pushing me away, breaking my heart.
To push you away from me.
It’d felt like I’d been struck by thousands of arrows the moment he said those words. The moment I knew how easily they broke my numerous dreams, intense emotions, and years of love in just a moment. Even after knowing everything.
“Don’t! Don’t you dare try to explain anything. You’ve done enough already! Leave me alone!” I’d snapped at his face when he’d tried to stop me from leaving last night.
Running his hands through his hair desperately, with wide panicked eyes, he’d asked for a chance to let him explain. “Rosebud, please! Just hear me out. I had no choice. I couldn’t let you ruin your life waiting for me. Trust me, I’d never wanted anyone else in my life the way I’d wanted you. You were my everything. You still are.”
“And that’s why you wanted me away?” My vision was blurry with tears. “Now I’ll make your wish come true for real this time. I’ll go so far away from you that you’ll never be able to reach!”
He’d watched me as if he’d been stabbed. But the pain in his eyes couldn’t surpass the one I held in my heart at that moment. Ignoring his calls and pleadings, I’d turned away from him and ran away from there. From the man I never knew would hurt me this way.
More tears fell from my eyes, my throat tightened, causing me gasp for air. My nails dug into my palms as I cried my heart out. But the burn inside me didn’t go away.
I love you…
I closed my eyes, not being able to withstand the squeeze that shot through my chest. The words he whispered to me just before I left him last night still rang in my ears.
I hate you! I hate you, Achilles Valencian! For fucking up my life in this way!
“Thank God, Em! You finally picked up your phone! That obsessed man of yours is blowing off my cell phone since last night!” Cassie huffed through the line. “I called Tess. I know what happened.” Her tone softened.
I stayed quiet, closing my eyes.
“Though I had to literally plead her to tell me everything. Trust me, I wanted to kill that sister of yours and that idiot man when I knew what they did to you. Fucking pricks!” she cursed some profanities. “By the way, the way he’s blowing up my phone just to get even a little news of you, I’m wondering how he’s not already barging into your house to see you right now.”
With my jaw tight, I threw the huge teddy on the floor from my bed. I didn’t need it anymore. “He tried to last night. But I informed the watchman to tell him if he even tries to do anything to get into the house following me, he won’t see my face ever again.”
I knew he’d follow me and try to talk to me. So I’d already given the watchman my message to deliver to him. And to my surprise, he didn’t cross my set line. Instead, he’d waited outside my house, right beneath my window. Though I didn’t know he was there the whole night.
A pinch of guilt surged through me, but I composed myself soon. I didn’t care. He could go to hell for all I cared.
“Oh! That explains his desperation,” she mumbled. “I’ve never seen someone so miserable, to be honest.”
“Are you siding with him again, Cassie? I can’t believe you!” I fumed. Whose friend was she here?
“Of course not! How can I? Whatever he did was extremely wrong! He shouldn’t have done it even though he only wanted your well-being.”
“Cassandra!”
“All right, all right. I’m sorry. I won’t say anything now. Are you okay, though? I have to tell him something when he calls me again,” she asked, sighing. Though there was concern in her voice, it only oiled my anger. She was somehow still supporting him. I’d blocked him in every way possible, and now he was trying to reach me through Tess and Cassie.
“You know what? I’m putting the phone down. You can talk to that prick all you want!” I cut the call and threw my phone on the bed.
That man! How dare he? He was now taking my friend on his side? The nerve! I didn’t understand why no one was seeing what heartache I was going through. They were just seeing his misery. His pain.
Covering my face with my hands, I took deep breaths, trying to calm down my boiling rage. But it wasn’t helping. As if the heartache blew more wind into it.
The bell of the door made my heart skip.
Is it him again?
I didn’t want any drama before Mom and Dad. But I didn’t think he’d do it after what I’d said. But not believing my instincts, I ran downstairs before anyone else could attend the door. I’d just flip him off and send him back if he dares to show up on my—
The moment I opened the door, I was shocked. But for an entirely different reason. The man that stood before me was someone I didn’t ever think would come back to my threshold again.
Warner.
