“Amelia, wake up. It’s midnight.”
I let out a groan with my eyes still shut. My bed moves again as a finger nudges my shoulder. One eye opens to the sight of Liesel sitting beside me with a wide grin.
“What time is it?”
“Midnight, silly. Happy birthday!”
The screech in her voice almost deafens me. I rub my face and give her my best gracious smile considering the time, not to mention my level of exhaustion.
“Thanks.”
“Nineteen, we have to do something amazing tonight,” Liesel suggests.
“Tonight? As in now?”
“No, not now. Some need the beauty sleep,” she points out sarcastically. “Tomorrow night. Josh’s older brother owns a club in the city. He can get us in.”
“A club? But I have a dinner with Andy.”
“So, go to the dinner, then we’ll meet afterward. Where’s the dinner, anyway?”
I grab my phone off the nightstand, fumbling through my messages, with only one eye open before finding Andy’s text and reading the name out loud.
“That’s on the same block. How perfect is that!”
I screw my mouth, resting on my elbows. “I don’t think it’s such a good idea to sneak into a club. We’re still underage.”
“C’mon, girl. We have to live a little. Besides, what can go wrong?” she questions, crossing her arms.
“I could give you a list, but I’m tired and don’t want to waste my precious birthday hours arguing with you.”
“Then, it’s settled. You’ve got the morning free, right?” Liesel hops off the bed while I nod. “Great. Let’s shop for new outfits. We can’t look young in the club.”
“Fine,” I drag, annoyed that I’m now wide awake. “Go to sleep, you need energy for tomorrow.”
“I was thinking of sneaking into Josh’s dorm room…” she trails off with a wicked smile. “You know, a midnight quickie.”
I laugh. “I guess the date went well yesterday?”
“As good as first dates can go. He’s cute, fit, plus his parents are loaded.”
“Three’s a charm,” I note in dark amusement. “Enjoy your midnight quickie.”
Liesel bounces out of the room with way too much energy. I check my phone again, reading all the early birthday messages. Both my parents already texted me plus told me they will call me in the morning. Ava’s relentless with her birthday memes, all of which involve old ladies and teeth falling out. There’s a text from Austin which comes through just now.
Austin: Happy Birthday, beautiful. Are you awake?
I hit dial, unsure of where he is. Since our argument a week ago, we have barely spoken. A few text messages, all of which avoided the topic of us.
“Happy birthday,” he greets, the sound of his voice warming me instantly.
“Thank you. Am I interrupting you?”
“No, just studying. And you?”
“Liesel woke me up.”
Austin’s soft laugh echoes through the phone. “She’s a quirky one. Can’t wait to meet her one day.”
“When is that?” I ask, hopefully. Suddenly missing everything about him. “My birthday is the perfect time.”
There’s silence following my voice. I wait, and with every second that passes, the beat of my heart begins to slow down, a persistent ache following.
“I assumed you would be busy for your birthday.”
“Liesel is taking me shopping in the morning, then I have two classes. I have a dinner in the city with Andy, then Liesel’s boyfriend, Josh, is taking us to some club.”
“Club?” he repeats, his tone shifting.
“Yes, his brother owns it. I know what you’re thinking, we’re underage. But it’s not like I’m going to drink. What can go wrong?”
Liesel’s influence is clearly rubbing off on me as I try to convince Austin it’s all in harmless fun. My hair falls over my shoulder, the blanket covering me while I give him a moment before questioning his silence.
“I should go. It’s your birthday,” he responds glumly.
“Okay,” I say, unsure. “I guess this is it.”
“Enjoy the day, Amelia. I’m sure you’ll have fun.”
The phone call ends. Austin rarely calls me by my full name, and that alone should’ve prompted me for his distaste of my upcoming plans. A wave of anger momentarily overcomes the hurt. What does he expect me to do? He doesn’t want to visit me, and he didn’t invite me to visit him. Maybe, in hindsight, I should’ve offered. It feels like I am the only one trying to hold onto us, and he no longer cares.
I toss and turn, falling in and out of restless sleep for the rest of the night.
“Can you send me a pic of what you’re wearing?” Ava demands over the phone. “I’m so jealous you get to go to an actual club.”
“Don’t say anything to Dad,” I warn her. “Besides, Liesel’s boyfriend’s older brother owns the club, which is how we’re getting in. It’s my birthday, and I want to celebrate.”
“It’s your first birthday without us,” she whines into the receiver.
“Even more reason to have fun.”
I soon learn that being underage in college often leads to falsifying your age to have fun. Turning twenty-one feels like a lifetime, and after my phone call with Austin, more than ever do I just want to forget and have fun.
“Um…” There’s a shuffle, where I’m certain Ava shoved the phone under the pillow.
“Ava?”
“Ava?” I repeat louder. “I have to go—”
“Millie!” she snarls, catching my attention. “Dad just walked into my room. I hope he didn’t hear you.”
“Don’t say anything,” I remind her again. “Listen, I have to go.”
“Send me pics, okay? I want a full update tomorrow.”
I hang up the phone, quickly getting dressed into a black body-con dress and pairing it with dark-green strappy heels. With a quick blow dry, I style my hair to the side and clasp on my gold hoop earrings. I was never one to wear too much makeup, opting for a touch of mascara and a light shade of lipstick. Aside from my first semester in junior high, my skin rarely gets blemishes. Mom has good genes, and I’ll be a very lucky woman if I can look as good as her when I’m over forty.
Josh and Liesel insist we Uber into the city. They’re paying, so we don’t stress about parking. I keep my opinion to myself but assume Josh wants to drink, hence, his eager suggestion when he arrives at our dorm room.
The three of us met Andy at the restaurant. Thankfully, Andy is easy to get along with as we all have one thing in common—college.
Both Andy and I love Indian food. The spicier, the better. We order dish after dish until Liesel warns us of a potential stomach cramp should she try the Vindaloo. Josh loves it, digging in and ordering more. We laugh, eat to our hearts’ content, and just when Andy is about to call it a night since he has to catch a red-eye to Boston to attend some important function with his Dad, the waiters come out with a chocolate mud cake with vanilla frosting. The candles burn bright while they sing their hearts out, embarrassing me as patrons of the restaurant look on.
The cake is placed on the table before Liesel cheers, “Make a wish!”
I close my eyes, unsure what to wish for—happiness, love, the well-being of my family. But deep inside, I wish to feel alive, to be consumed by passion, and to be completely in love where the air hurts to breathe if you’re not buried into his chest.
I blame the fiction books I have been reading of late—romance novels Liesel insisted I binge read because the sex was supposedly off the charts. It’s as close as I can get to the real thing, and perhaps, the wish I made would make me feel all the things I read about.
“I better go, Millie.” Andy stands up, and I follow, his big arms wrapping around me in a tight embrace. “Call me if things get out of control tonight.”
“Hey, my reputation has been clean for a while now. Just so you know, I can be responsible.”
Andy places a kiss on my forehead. “Sometimes, I actually miss my crazy cousin. She makes life interesting.”
I let out a hearty chuckle. “Go now, you pest. And say hi to your dad for me.”
Liesel and Josh both say goodbye to Andy before he disappears outside. Josh claps his hands, barely able to contain his excitement.
“Let’s get this party started, ladies.”
Getting into the club was easy. As promised, Josh’s brother takes us through the back entrance and straight into the dimly-lit club, the music blaring around us with people crammed on the dance floor.
The club itself is underground. There isn’t much to it—scattered bar stools, a long neon-lit bar with a back wall shelving bottle after bottle of liquor. People are dancing, some look much older, and others our age.
“Let’s grab a drink,” Liesel shouts into my ear. “Cosmopolitan?”
I kindly refuse the drink, not wanting to push the limits, given I’m not twenty-one.
“C’mon, Amelia. Just one?”
“How about later? Promise.”
Liesel pouts her lips but doesn’t push any further.
At the bar, I pull out my phone to text Ava, then quickly hop onto Insta to see the first story from Austin’s account. It’s a picture of him with some friends, and more notably, a beautiful brunette beside him with her arm on his. My stomach is tied in knots, the slump of my shoulder following soon after from the image with the caption Just another Friday night.
Today is Saturday, so this photo was taken last night. He mentioned nothing of the sort, and in fact, I recall him mentioning he was studying. My hands clutch my stomach, the realization that he can be lying to me the only thing on my mind. Around me, the noise drowns out, and the only thing I hear is the loud beat of my heart, the thumps almost bursting out of my chest.
I stare at the photo again, examining every inch of it—the way Austin’s eyes light up to the cheeky grin next to this girl who appears equally as happy. The longer my eyes focus, the deeper the hurt runs.
In the corner of my account, I see a notification for a direct message. Opening it up, I glance at the username and read the message:
Will R: Going to a club when you’re only 19 is stupid. Do you know the danger you’re putting yourself in?
I shake my head in disbelief. What the hell? How does he know? And how on earth did Will find my Insta account? My momentary pain subsides as I type profusely, wondering why Will needs to act like my goddamn father.
Me: The same could be said about the number of women you sleep with.
I see the bubble appear before his message pops up.
Will R: I’m coming to get you.
I let out an annoyed huff, then remember he doesn’t know where I actually am. Without even thinking, I block his username. The week has been bad enough since the night he drove me home. I hate that he has crawled under my skin, and mostly, I hate the way I entertain what it might be like to kiss him when he did that thing at dinner with his lips. It came out of nowhere, watching his tongue slither on the spoon and my legs tensing at the sight. Between Will and my dying relationship with Austin, I need that drink.
“You know what? I’ll take that Cosmo now.”
Liesel claps her hands, ordering me one immediately. An hour later and several drinks down, I’ve lost count and find myself on the dance floor. Will doesn’t show up, of course, all talk and no action. The guy is probably bored and wants to annoy me to serve some sort of sadistic pleasure of his.
I dance with Liesel and Josh, then with a group of women I made friends with. Our bodies sway to the beat, my eyes closing as my hair swooshes around. It becomes hot and sweaty, my skin slithering under the barely lit dance floor.
A couple of guys try to dance, and I’m happily entertained until one of them tries to wrap his hands around my waist. He smells nice and is quite masculine with toned arms. When he rubs his crotch into my ass, the nagging voice in my head tells me I need to intervene quickly, yet my motor skills are sluggish. As I am about to politely tell him to back off, I’m yanked in a different direction, almost tripping in my heels.
My chest is up against Will’s, the burn in his eyes piercing me like an animal ready to attack its enemy. Deep blue eyes hold me captive until I’m finally able to break away. He’s still in his work attire—dress pants with a matching dark gray jacket and a white business shirt beneath it. The top two buttons are undone and there’s no formal tie as his chest is slightly exposed. Why are you even looking, Amelia?
“What are you doing here?”
“It seems that our conversation made me believe you weren’t responsible enough to be at this club.”
“Me? It shows how little you know about me.”
“If you’re so willing to lie to your dad…”
“Why are you so hung up on that? Surely, you have more important things to do than taunt me with matters that are still none of your business!”
I have no idea why he suddenly has to act so macho, and what’s with all the my dad talk? It’s been frustrating, to say the least. The point of me moving here was to gain some freedom, all of which seems impossible if Mr. Asshole follows me wherever I go.
“We’re going,” he demands, nostrils flaring.
“Let me go!” I tell him. “You’re such an ass, and besides, it’s my birthday.”
“An ass who’ll save your life tonight. And happy birthday.”
“Really, save my life?” I laugh, pointing my finger into his chest. “Are you going to tattle- tale to dear old daddy? Or better yet, follow me to my bedroom. How about the shower? You want to see me there?”
His face tightens, the skin bunching around his eyes like he’s suffering for being seen with me. Perhaps there’s some truth to what Andy said—I played it too safe for too long now.
I grab his hand, pulling him back onto the dance floor to torment him as I dance around where he stands, swaying my body, bucking my hips, laughing as I do while he remains perfectly still.
“What’s wrong?” I pout, throwing my hands around his neck. “Is it possible that Will Romano does not know how to have fun?”
He rests his hands on my hips, the sudden jolt of his touch sending this odd feeling throughout me. I’ve never felt this before, and quite possibly, the alcohol has everything to do with it.
“You need to calm down,” he sternly warns me.
“What for? I’m an adult now. Just admit it, you’re jealous because your whole life revolves around work and chasing your assistant’s pussy,” I blurt out, laughing. “I’m surprised you’re even here, unless, of course, you’re looking to get laid by someone here.”
I scan the room until I realize my hands are still on him, and his are still on me. Raising my eyes to meet his, there’s an odd stare as his gaze falls onto my lips. Taking a deep breath, he focuses back on my eyes. “We need to leave or else…”
“Or else what? What exactly will go wrong?”
Will shakes his head, a smirk playing on his lips. I let go of him, almost pushing him away in annoyance until he pulls me back into him and our bodies are flush. My mind is playing tricks, watching his gaze fall toward my chest, the slight flick of his tongue. I place my hands on his chest, pressing forward only to be distracted by something hard between us. Of fuck, that’s not what I think it is because this is all types of wrong.
He leans his head in, his breath against my ear. “You need to behave and stop rubbing yourself on my cock, or this won’t end well for both of us.”
I pull away, distancing myself until he latches onto my wrist, pulling me through the crowd until the cold air hits my face, and we’re standing outside on the pavement.
“I’m taking you home,” he grits, nostrils flaring.
“In case you’ve forgotten,” I say, a slight hiccup escaping. “My home is in New Haven, not here.”
“I’m taking you back to my place.”
He doesn’t say another word amid sudden anger, hailing a cab and shoving me inside. I begin to argue, though the more I argue, the more my head spins.
“Give me your phone?” Will demands without reason.
“Wh… why?”
“So I can text your friend to let her know you came home with me and you’re okay. What’s her name?”
“Liesel,” I mumble beneath my breath. “And it’s yet to be decided if I’m okay. I don’t know you anymore. What if you’re a knife-wielding murderer?”
“Trust me, sweetheart, the last person I’d want to deal with if that were true is you.”
The sudden stop-start of the cab is making my head spin more. I shut my eyes, ignoring the sounds of beeping horns and pray for all of this to be over.
Being an adult is hard.
How much so, I’m yet to find out.
