Dion hasn’t looked me in the eye all week, and I suspect I know why. One day after I admit to my father’s years long abuse, he goes missing, only to re-emerge three days later in a hospital, fighting for his life? It wasn’t hard to connect the dots.
He’s quiet as he helps me into the car, and I try to think back to the last real conversation we had, but I come up empty.
“Dion,” I murmur as he reaches over me to grab my seatbelt. “Was it you? There’s no point in avoiding this conversation indefinitely, and I did ask for your help. I need to know if… is this my fault?”
He finally looks at me then, his expression disarmed. “No,” he instantly denies. “It’s not your fault. Not at all.” His eyes meet mine, and all of a sudden, it feels like I can breathe again. I’ve missed this — seeing myself reflected in his deep green eyes.
Dion pulls a hand through his hair and sighs. “I didn’t lay a hand on your father, Faye, but I can’t deny that my family was involved. My brothers… you should understand that marrying me didn’t just result in you having a husband. You also gained four big brothers and three relatively insane sisters. I… I was going to hurt him, but they found out and took over. You should know that if they hadn’t, the outcome would’ve been the same — I don’t want you to think I’m somehow less of a monster simply because I didn’t bloody my hands this time. I won’t deceive you like that. There simply is no world in which I’d have let him get away with what he did to you unharmed.”
I stare at him, taking in the conflict in his gaze, his tense posture. “Do you remember when I told you that I wanted all of you?”
He nods then.
“I meant it, Dion. If it had been you, I would’ve… I would have accepted that. When you told me that everything you do is to protect me, I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to listen, but I hear you now. I might not be happy with the way you take matters into your own hands, but I trust you enough to believe you won’t hurt or control me the way he did.”
He stares at me with such deep need that I’m tempted to climb into his lap and reassure him. I recognize that look in his eyes, because I’ve seen it reflected back at me in the mirror for years. “Do you still want that, Faye?” he asks, his voice soft. “Now that I’ve fully removed your father’s hold on you, do you still want me? Us?”
I nod and begin to answer, but he shakes his head and grabs my hand. “You’ve never had a choice when it came to me,” he says. “You told me you have no idea who you would’ve become if not for me, and no matter how I think about it, you’re right. You deserve to have a choice. You should think about what you’d do if you had one. In a world where you and I weren’t engaged since we were kids, would you have chosen me?”
I tear my gaze away and shake my head. “It doesn’t matter, Dion. Why ponder rhetorical questions?”
He lifts my hand to his lips and presses a soft kiss to my knuckles. It’s the closest he’s gotten to me all week, and it’s ridiculous how it makes my heart race. “It does,” he whispers. “It matters.”
I watch him carefully as he drives me to my father’s house, unable to read his mood. He’s been different, cagey. The way he’ll barely look at me reminds me of what he was like before we got married, back when I thought he saw me as an inconvenience. I realize now that it isn’t reluctance. It’s blatant guilt that he tries to hide behind a polite smile.
He doesn’t say a word as we walk into the house, but when he notices the accusations in my stepmother’s eyes, his hand securely wraps around my shoulder, silently telling me I’m not alone. She called me and asked me to come over, and I’d assumed it’s because she’d wanted to tell me what happened to Father in person, but it looks like I was wrong.
“Faye,” Abigail says, leaning back on the sofa, her arms wrapped around the girls. They stare at me with red eyes filled with heartache, and for a moment, I waver. “How could you do this to your own father?”
I tense but force an innocent smile onto my lips. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” I lie. “I’m as shocked as you are. I suppose some of Father’s debts were due?”
Abigail’s eyes flash. “And whose fault is that? If you hadn’t taken away money that you don’t even need, he wouldn’t be in this situation.” Her gaze flickers to Dion, clearly uncertain how much more she can say in his presence.
I stare at her, wondering how I missed it for so long. She’s the only mother figure I’ve ever really known, and I was so desperate to belong that I turned a blind eye to her flaws. I’m as much a tool to her as I was to my father.
“I should’ve known when you refused to run with the girls and me instead of forcing me into marriage. Why would you? Until recently, he left your daughters unharmed. You must’ve genuinely believed that his anger would’ve tempered once I was married and out of his sight.”
Confusion flickers through her eyes, and I realize then that my response isn’t what she was expecting. I’ve never dealt well with the thought of disappointing her, so even a hint of a complaint from her always led to me apologizing and falling back in line.
“I loved you, you know? All of you. I realize now that the feeling was never quite mutual, but it’s true. For years, I had a bag packed, an escape plan in mind. I stayed because I loved you enough to spare you from what Father would’ve done to you if I’d disappeared.”
I was so deeply entrenched in their deception that I didn’t realize how they’ve all been manipulating me. They took my need to belong, to be loved, and they used it against me.
“I’m here to say goodbye,” I murmur, my voice breaking. “I’ll pay for Linda and Chloe’s college tuition, because despite everything, I want both of them to have a future, but that’s it. I’m done being your puppet. I gave you a chance to walk away from Father, from this home, but you chose to stay even if it meant sacrificing my happiness and freedom. You made your decision, and I’m finally ready to accept that.”
“Faye,” Chloe says, her tone cautious.
I take a step back and shake my head. “No,” I cut her off before the usual string of defenses and excuses leave her lips. “I’m done.”
“Faye!” Linda shouts, her tone desperate. “You’ll never get away with this. Make things right, and we’ll forgive you. We won’t say a thing about what you did to Dad. We can still be a family, you know? Don’t you want that?”
I grab Dion’s hand and entwine our fingers, my heart finally at ease as I lift our joint hands. “I do have a family, at last.” I feel his gaze on me as he lifts our hands to his lips and gently kisses my knuckles. “Besides, it sounds like you don’t quite realize who I am now. I’m Faye Windsor. I had nothing to do with Father’s accident, but it wouldn’t matter if I did. I could’ve stabbed him in the heart and twisted the knife, and there’s not a single thing you could’ve done about it.”
Dion chuckles, and I look up at him to find him staring at me with pure pride in his eyes. “That’s my girl,” he murmurs.
I grin at him, not an ounce of guilt or responsibility weighing me down for perhaps the first time in my life, and he smiles back at me. “Take me home.”
Home. It’s more than just four walls. It’s safety, comfort, and acceptance. It’s him.
