New Year’s Eve in New York City.
This should be an exciting time. It’s one of those special occasions that people travel to the city for. Only I have spent most of the day locked in Mila’s bedroom while she’s interrogated by the cops. Trying to work out how I can help her from here.
When she returns to the apartment, she looks exhausted. She’s not the same Mila who grew up with us, and she’s not the same Mila who returned home six months ago, either. Then, she was grown up and just as bossy.
This Mila, she’s withdrawing. Pulling away from us . . . from me. As if she already knows how this is all going to end. But I won’t give up. I’ll never give up on her. I spent the day looking over all the news articles to see what the press believes went down. I read all the nasty comments people left, but I was only looking for the ones with theories about what happened.
Divorce and affair . . . those two were thrown around a lot. That Mila was having an affair with Malcolm and killed him in a fit of jealousy. Or that Amber—her mother—killed him because she was jealous of her daughter and blamed Mila for his death. That Amber had an affair and the baby isn’t Malcolm’s. That Malcolm was divorcing her, and Mila killed him for her mother, since she inherited everything.
So many different theories, but there are people out there who don’t think Mila killed him. I’m working with those theories. One might be closer to the truth than the story that’s currently circulating. I can work out a way to help her, to clear her name.
“Mom’s gone,” Mila says. “I’m hoping you’d like to spend New Year’s with me on the rooftop in the courtyard?”
I squeeze her hand in mine and pull her in for a kiss. I want her to forget about the day and have a good time. I want to have a special evening with her, and no better time than New Year’s. “That sounds amazing.”
Okay, it didn’t, but when her smile grew wider, I knew it was the right response. I’ve decided that, yes, I have a thing about heights. Mary invited me out of the bedroom for some lunch earlier, and I couldn’t look out the windows. It gave me vertigo and I felt sick.
She told me, “You won’t fall out. You can run at them, and they won’t shatter.”
I told her, “That’s okay, I don’t need a demonstration.”
She chuckled and replied, “I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing it.” But the twinkle in her eye told me she might just to mess with me.
Mary’s nice. I liked her. I wish she’d been Mila’s mom. She takes care of her here, not Amber.
“I packed a blanket and some yummy snacks. Mary got us a couple of beers.” Her eyebrows wiggle at me, and I chuckle, because Mary asked me earlier what alcohol I would drink on New Year’s, if was twenty-one. I told her beer. No specific kind, just beer.
Mary must have gone out and got us a couple while I’d been hiding in the bedroom, trying to work out what Amber’s motive was for killing her husband. Apart from the money. Was he really trying to divorce her? Mila seemed to think so. So, I’d been working on that angle.
“Are you trying to get me drunk, Mila?” I tease her and she snorts, but I can see her grin.
“You got caught me. I’m trying to have my wicked way with you.”
I pull her body to mine, letting her feel the bulge in my jeans. “You can do all the wicked things, anytime you want. No need for beer.” She playfully slaps my chest, and I’m smiling, glad the darkness in her eyes is gone. At least for now. I will chase her demons away for her. Always.
“We can do the wicked things at midnight, after you kiss me.” She leads me to the elevator, and I’m confused. I thought there weren’t any more buttons to take us up to the rooftop. But she stops outside a door and pulls out a key. I thought it was a coat closet, but when she unlocks and opens the door, I see it contains stairs leading up to the rooftop. The chilly air hits us, and I remember now that I only have a T-shirt and jeans on. I don’t know how long I can stay out there. Mila’s still wearing the coat she had on today.
“Shit, I forgot about how cold it was. Hold on, and I will grab you a jacket.”
I want to protest; I don’t want her borrowing her dead stepfather’s coat. That seems weird to me.
She returns and hands me a gray puffer jacket. “I stole it from Junior. He’s smaller than you, but it should fit.”
It’s better than the alternative—going out there in a T-shirt. I never would have worn Malcolm’s clothes.
I push my arms though the sleeves and it’s snug. Junior must have skinny arms, because I’m struggling to get it on over my biceps. When I finally get my other arm out, I look down and Mila giggles.
“Maybe we need to get you a scarf to cover this.” She runs her hands down my chest where the jacket won’t meet.
I shake my head. “I’ll just hold you in my arms and that’ll be all the warmth I need.” And it’s true. She’s all I need to keep warm out there, because I won’t be letting her go. Because I love her and also a little part of me is worried she may blow away out there.
Okay, this heights thing is really getting to me. I need to stop thinking like that. She’ll be fine. Unless there’s a gust of wind. Fuck. My heart races, and I’m sending myself into a panic over nothing. That won’t happen.
She holds my hand and leads me up the stairs covered in a fine dusting of snow and into the night air. I look up at the sky and take a deep breath. It’s impossible to see the stars, but they’re up there above us. We are so much closer to them now. But the clouds are thick and threatening to dump snow on us. I’ve watched it from inside today, safely away from the windows.
But I haven’t actually been in the snow before, and I really hope it snows tonight. Not much, just enough to make this night magical for Mila.
I look around the area and find that this little courtyard must belong to the penthouse Mila lives in. It’s surrounded by a large wall, and there’s a garden with some small shrubs, fake grass, and a little seating area with wrought iron furniture. Mila ignores the love seat and pulls me into the middle of the fake grass and lays down the blanket she brought up.
I help straighten it out before I sit down, opening my legs wide and reaching for her to come sit between them. She places the bag of food and beers beside us and sits between my legs, leaning back into me. I feel rather than hear her sigh.
“This is exactly where I want to be on New Year’s.” I wrap my arms around her and hold her against me.
I feel a little guilty that I get to share this moment with her while the others are back home, worried about her. I texted Hunter earlier and let him know I’m here. That Mila needs us, and I wasn’t wrong in coming. He replied with, “Take care of our girl and I will do everything I can from here.”
“Do you want to video call the guys?” I ask. My phone won’t be bugged, and I think it’s safe out here. If they bugged the apartment, then the cops know I’m here and they haven’t coming looking for me to see if I know anything. So, I would say we’re safe to use my phone.
She turns in my arms and gives me a sad smile. “Can we? Not that I don’t love you being here. It’s just, I miss them all so much.”
I kiss her little pink nose, and it’s cold to the touch. “Even Jace?” I ask, wondering when she will stop messing with him. Not that I don’t find that funny as all hell. I love the way she shits-stirs him and he gets all crazy and worked up.
She chuckles. “Even Jace. Being here has made me realize how much I love him. And how I wish I kissed him before I left.”
I pull my phone out, and Mila tsks at the screen. “Hey, if you’re not nice to my phone, you can’t use it.” I’m teasing her, but I just want to see her smile again.
She takes it from me, and I can see her smile in the glass’s reflection before the screensaver lights up. It’s a photo of us. My hair is in braids and I’m wearing my football gear. Her hair is down and she’s smiling at the camera. I’m looking down at her.
“I love that photo of us, but you need a new screen. How does it even work with that many cracks in it?”
I chuckle. “It’s bad, but it works.”
I unlock it, not hiding the password from her. If she ever needs my phone, she will need to know it. I have nothing to hide in there. She can look at all my photos and read any messages she wants. I know she won’t, though; she knows how big trust is between us all. And I would hide nothing from her. If she wants to know, I will tell her.
Pulling up the “boyfriend” chat, I press the camera button and it dials.
“You guys have your own chat? Without me?” She sounds sad.
I didn’t think that would bother her. I need to keep in touch with the guys, especially after what happened here. We couldn’t bring her into the chat.
“Only since you’ve been here. So we can all keep in contact and let each other know what’s happening.”
She nods. “I think it’s cute you called it ‘boyfriends.’”
I chuckle. “That was Jace’s idea. He started it and named it that.”
She turns to me and raises her brow at me. Oh, man. I know that look. She’s gonna mess with him. And if it makes her smile, then I’m all for it. I just hope Jace is. Last time I saw him he was all kinds of fucked up.
Asher’s the first to come on the screen; his hair’s a mess and he’s not wearing a shirt. He coughs when he sees Mila on the screen waving at him. He’s eating something. I forget he’s three hours behind, which means it’s only about six there.
“Mila,” he coughs again, and then the phone is yanked away and Madison and Kate replace him behind the camera. Madison lets out a small sob and waves to Mila. I feel her tense under me; I didn’t want crying. This was supposed to be happy.
“Asher, are you okay?” She brings the phone closer to her face, as if she’ll be able to see past Kate and Madison.
“Hi, love.” Kate waves as I hear Asher coughing loudly.
“Is Asher, okay?” she asks again. I’m worried about him too; I think he inhaled his dinner.
“He was just surprised to see you.” Kate smiles and Mila relaxes.
They chat, and Madison joins in when she’s stopped crying. Jace has picked up the call but not Hunter. Jace drops out not soon after, and I feel Mila deflate.
“He’s just gonna get Hunter,” I whisper into her hair, and she nods and continues chatting with Madison again.
I rest my head on her shoulder and watch the two of them animatedly talk about some TV series they’re watching. Something with vampires. Apparently, they’re hot, and I find out they don’t sparkle when I ask.
When Kate came back from New York, she made us all get together at her place. She fed us and told us she accepts the relationship we all have. She doesn’t understand it, but she loves Asher and Mila. And if we are all going to love Mila, then we all need to be on the same page.
Easier said than done, when Hunter already messed up Asher’s face. But I think that’s what prompted the meeting. She made Hunter and me take home meals she’d cooked. We told her we were fine, but she insisted and told us to call her if we need anything. Even if it’s a ride to the doctor or to buy a new pair of shoes.
I think Mila must have told her Hunter and I are living alone in that big house, and Kate wanted to take care of us. While Mila’s gone, at least. I hope she’s still sending meals to Hunter.
“Hi, Roman.” Kate waves at me.
I wave back. I like her. She’s a great mom, like Ella. It makes me miss my mom.
“I dropped by Hunter’s yesterday and gave him some pasta.”
I smile and nod at her. I hope he ate it.
Hunter finally appears, and Jace joins right after. Hunter calls out to Mila, and she sobs, not able to get a word out. Kate and Madison wave and hand the phone back to Asher, who is walking to another room so we can all talk privately.
“Hey Mila,” Jace says, and she sobs again.
I take the phone from her hand while she wipes her face. Their faces are full of worry. “She’s good, guys,” I tell them. “She’s just missing you all.”
They all talk at once, saying how much they miss her, and she giggles and sniffs.
“I miss you all too.” She wipes her eyes again and holds my hand with the phone.
“Roman, my parents are a little mad at you,” Jace says.
Why? Because I took his car?
“Can’t you read signs, fucker? My car got towed . . . in New York City.”
“Fuck,” I mutter. I shouldn’t have parked there. I knew it, but I needed to get to Mila.
“Roman.” She turns to me. “Where did you park?”
I shake my head. That doesn’t matter. “It was worth it. I’ll get it out for you,” I let him know. “Say sorry to Daniel and Ella for me. It’s hard to find a parking space around here.”
“We have a parking garage in the building, Roman. You should have told me. I just assumed you parked in there.”
“No worries. I’ll get it out,” Hunter tells me. But this isn’t about me. This is for Mila.
They all start talking over each other, and she laughs. “You know, this is so much harder than I thought it would be.”
And they all stop.
“Asher,” I call out and he smiles.
“Mila, I’m so sorry. We should have waited. Told my mom, at least.”
She shakes her head. “No, I couldn’t wait. I know we should have, but it’s okay. Really, I was asked to come back here regardless, and I know I could have only put it off for so long. It’s not your fault. So, please don’t blame yourself.”
I know how torn up he is over it all. Hell, I know he won’t stop blaming himself for a long time. It would take me a lifetime to forgive myself for that.
“I love you,” he tells her, and she shifts between my legs.
“I love you too, Asher.”
“Okay, Hunter,” I say.
I see Jace’s face fall slightly, but I know Hunter needs to go next.
“Hey, babe. I miss you.” His smile never meets his eyes, and I wish it would. The dark circles under his eyes tell me he’s still not been sleeping. I know how hard it is right now at his home. His dad’s not around, and his mom’s been gone for a while. I don’t know if she’s even coming back.
But if I get Mila back home, at least I know I can get that smile of his back. His jokes and all. I miss that; I miss my friend. My brother.
“I miss you too, Hunter. Have you been looking after yourself?” she asks.
Fuck, she can see how bad he is through my shitty screen.
He nods. “Yeah, Kate gave me some pasta. Are you going to watch the fireworks?” he asks, and she nods.
“Yeah, do you all want to watch with us?”
I look at my phone, and I only have twenty-three percent left on the battery. Fuck, I should have charged it.
Before they can answer, I quickly speak up. “I didn’t charge my phone during the day, so we might need to call you all back for that.” No way my phone will last three hours with them all on there.
“Jace,” I call out. He’s been moving around and waiting his turn.
“Hey, beautiful,” he says.
She tilts her head and sighs. “Hey, handsome. I wish I kissed you before I left.”
He grins. “You can kiss me when you get back.” She almost deflates at that, and he notices. “I’ll show you exactly where you can kiss me, Mila.” And he moves his screen down his body, and I chuckle, as does Mila.
“Wait up. I think you should kiss her pussy first,” Hunter chimes in. “She might see your cock and run away.” We’re all laughing, and I’m glad to see his humor is still there.
Mila talks with them all, laughing and joking, talking about the weather and how she wants it to snow when she kisses me at midnight. I snuggle into her and hold her tight until my phone is at five percent and she tells them all to answer at midnight.
“Our midnight, not yours,” I quickly add before they all call out that they love her, and I disconnect the call.
“Beer?” she asks as she reaches into the bag beside us.
“Yeah, if you’re having one, I will.” I rarely drink. Only at parties in the past, and that was only enough to get me buzzed. I didn’t want to end up like my dad, so I mostly avoid drinking.
I open the bottles, and we both take a mouthful. Mila scrunches up her little pink nose, and I laugh. “Not a fan?”
She shakes her head. “Yeah, I don’t think I’m a beer-drinking girl. Maybe if I was drunk, it wouldn’t taste so bad.”
I don’t mind. It’s not my preferred thing to drink. If I had my way, I would drink her every day. She’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted.
She nestles into my arms, and we look up at the sky, gray and dark. It’s not cheerful, but the sounds of the people on the streets below drift up, and I can hear classical music being played. Not something I’m into, but it gives me an idea.
I shuffle backward, and Mila turns to find me standing up.
“You okay?” she asks as she places her beer bottle beside the blanket.
I offer my hand to her and she takes it. I lift her up, and her eyes widen as she falls into my arms. She places her hand on my chest to steady herself, and I move my other hand to hold her waist.
“What’s going on, Roman?” She gives me the cutest look and I kiss her.
I tilt her hand that I’m still holding up into a dance-type pose and start rocking her, side to side to the music playing. Catching on, she rests her head on my chest as I slowly spin us to the music.
After a few minutes of us swaying, she looks up at me with those big blues. “Thank you,” she whispers.
I pause. “For what? I’m not a good dancer.”
She shakes her head and gives me a small smile. “It’s not about how good you are. It’s that you do it. For me. For giving me the guys tonight. For just being with me here. In this moment.”
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world,” I tell her honestly. I kiss her, softly, not wanting to ruin the moment by it turning into something more than what it is. Tonight is about Mila.
She looks up, and a snowflake falls on her eyelash. She beams and reaches her hand up at the sky.
I look up too and can see the snow now. Little, wet flakes drop on my face, and I look down to Mila. “It’s snowing.”
She giggles, holding her tongue out to catch flakes. I do the same, and we laugh together. We break apart, holding each other’s hands, and dance around the small courtyard and laugh as we catch snowflakes with our tongues. We stop to kiss each other and do it all over again.
I didn’t realize I need this as much as she does. This is the first time I have laughed like this in a long time. I feel young and free.
It doesn’t take long for the countdown to begin, and the two of us stop dancing. Our eyes find each other, the laughter and games gone. And we count together.
“Three . . . two . . . one.”
I cup her face in my hands, and she holds my hands there as I kiss her. The sky lights up, and I pull away to see fireworks.
“Happy New Year, Mila.”
“Happy New Year, Roman.”
My phone is at three percent, so she sends off messages. I apologize for not charging it, but she shakes her head and kisses me.
“Next year, you will have to share me with the three of them. So, this year can be special. Just you and me.”
“Let’s go inside. I’m frozen, and your nose looks like it’s gonna fall off.” I bop it with my finger, and she giggles before skipping toward the stairs.
I bend down to get the blanket, and she waves me off.
“Let’s get it tomorrow. Right now, I know what I want to start the year off, and it involves your tongue and something else.”
I quirk my brow at her, smiling at how playful and light she is right now.
She spins on the spot, her arms out wide, catching snowflakes. I put my icy hands into the pockets of the jacket, and I feel some scrunched up paper in there. I pull it out while she’s not looking and glance down to see it has an address on there. Here in New York.
This jacket belongs to Junior, who’s missing. I wonder if he’s at this address. He is involved, somehow. I just don’t know how yet, just that he was here the night of Malcolm’s murder and now he’s missing, but no one seems that worried. Only his mom. Before Mila notices, I put the paper in my jeans.
She chuckles and snowflakes land on her cheeks. She looks up at me with those big blue eyes, and I know then as I knew before.
I will kill for this girl.
