June 28th, Friday, 11:33 a.m.
KIT: What the hell does ‘pulsating sword of steel’ mean?
FAYE: Are you…reading one of my books right now?
KIT: It was on the bathroom counter.
FAYE: That’s private property.
KIT: Your name isn’t on it.
FAYE: That’s just common decency, ass.
KIT: You didn’t answer my question.
FAYE: I’m not going to tell you.
KIT: Oh, wait. Question answered. *smirking emoji*
FAYE: Kit…
KIT: The little tabs you put in here are really helpful.
FAYE: I think I just died from embarrassment. You killed me. Does that sit well on your conscience? Do you like having my blood on your hands?
KIT: I’d prefer a different bodily fluid, but…
FAYE: PUT THE BOOK DOWN. NOW.
KIT: Relax, Princess. I’m just doing research.
FAYE: Research? What are you talking about?
KIT: I’m going to finish reading this dirty little book of yours, and then I’m going to have you show me exactly how you want me to touch you.
FAYE: Fuck me.
KIT: That’s Plan A.
FAYE: I mean…fuck you!
KIT: There’s twenty-five more letters in the alphabet I can use. We can do this whichever way you want.
July 3rd, Wednesday, 8:45 p.m.
FAYE: DICK!
KIT: You’re gonna have to be more specific.
FAYE: You ate the last ice cream sandwich.
KIT: Hey! Why do you automatically assume it was me?
FAYE: Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because I found the wrapper in your trash can?
KIT: This feels like a trap.
FAYE: That was the one thing I was looking forward to today. ONE.
KIT: I’ll drive down to the store to get you another box right now.
FAYE: Too late. I already hate you.
KIT: Yeah, but you know that turns me on.
FAYE: Don’t you ever think with anything besides your dick?
KIT: What can I say? He has a big head.
FAYE: …
KIT: Get it? Big head?
FAYE: …
KIT: Fuck you. That was funny.
FAYE: I’m not dignifying that with a laugh.
KIT: How about an ice cream sandwich?
FAYE: …
KIT: Two ice cream sandwiches?
July 8th, Monday, 8:21 a.m.
KIT: I miss you.
FAYE: I’m lying right next to you?
KIT: You’re too far away.
FAYE: We’re in the same bed.
KIT: Jesus Christ. Just come over here, woman.
FAYE: You know, I think I’ll stay on my side. It’s cool and smells good over here.
KIT: Are you implying that my side smells?
FAYE: Well, you are in it, so…
KIT: That’s low, Faye. That’s really low.
FAYE: And you hog all the covers.
KIT: You don’t need covers. I’ll warm you up with my body.
FAYE: I think I’ll stick to the covers, thanks.
KIT: *middle finger emoji*
FAYE: *kissy face emoji*
KIT: You’re lucky you’re cute.
FAYE: I’m a lot more than cute.
KIT: Bratty, stubborn, a pain in my ass? Check, check, and check.
FAYE: Sexy, intelligent, wise beyond her years.
KIT: Conceited.
FAYE: I know that’s supposed to be an insult, but I also happen to be laid-back. Criticism doesn’t faze me.
KIT: Please. The only laying back you do is when I have you pinned to the bed.
FAYE: And yet you beg for it every time.
July 13th, Saturday, 3:56 p.m.
FAYE: Remind me never to wear these pants again.
KIT: Are you kidding me? Your ass looks fantastic today. It looks fantastic every day.
FAYE: Yeah, the guy at the grocery store thought so too.
KIT: …
FAYE: Hello?
KIT: Is he still there?
FAYE: What? I don’t know. I was just checking out.
KIT: …
FAYE: Kit, why do I hear the car running?
FAYE: Oh my God. DO NOT go down there.
KIT: I just wanna talk.
FAYE: No, no you do not.
KIT: People talk with their hands all the time, Faye. It’s called ASL.
FAYE: So if I look at the local news later, I won’t find a picture of that man with a face full of bruises?
KIT: Who knows what he gets up to in his free time.
FAYE: I think you need to calm down.
KIT: I’m going to pretend like you didn’t just say that to me.
FAYE: You can’t just go…gallivanting around every time a guy makes a gross comment about me!
KIT: Oh, oh. I most certainly can, and I will. In fact, I was meaning to get some boxing sessions in today.
FAYE: I didn’t even tell you what he looked like.
KIT: You really think I won’t be able to find him?
FAYE: Ugh, no.
KIT: Face it, Princess. Even though you don’t need me, I’ll always be your knight in shining armor.
FAYE: Is that why you call me that? Because you think I’m a princess?
KIT: Wasn’t it obvious?
FAYE: I thought it was more along the lines of ‘She’s a damsel and in distress. Help her before she burns the city down.’
KIT: God, no. Never. I call you that because you deserve to be treated like one.
FAYE: I didn’t realize you could be so sweet.
KIT: Don’t get used to it.
FAYE: C’mon. You’re a big softie. Admit it.
KIT: Fine. Only for you.
