I straighten my tie absentmindedly as I stand in front of the mirror, feeling conflicted. I had that same dream about Raven again last night, and it really fucked with me. Usually I’d shake it off and remind myself that I can’t control my subconsciousness, but I haven’t been able to get it off my mind all day, and I’m feeling so fucking guilty. Especially because I didn’t instantly realise I was no longer dreaming when I saw her in my bed. I’d been so close to pulling her on top of me, my cock still throbbing.
Seeing Hannah made me feel even worse.
I’ve loved her for as long as I can remember, yet now I’m married to her sister. It feels like I’ve betrayed her in the worst way, and the last thing I want to do is lust after Raven too. It’s fucking insane. Within the span of a few days, my entire life derailed.
“Where are you going?”
I tense at the sound of Raven’s voice and look up, my eyes meeting hers in the mirror. She’s leaning against the wall next to the door, her arms crossed. Just looking at her has me feeling conflicted. She looks beautiful in that long silk robe she’s wearing, her long hair draped over her chest. It’s odd to have her in my home. She fits in so perfectly, yet having her around is disorienting.
I watch as she pushes away from the wall and walks toward me, her hips swaying. I’ve managed to avoid her for most of the day, locking myself up in my home office instead, but I should’ve known I couldn’t keep it up.
I turn around to face her and force a smile. “Dinner.”
Raven pauses in front of me and grabs my tie, pulling it loose. “Is that so? With who?”
My heart starts to race as a different sense of guilt washes over me. Guilt toward Raven this time. “Rave,” I say, my voice soft. She knows exactly who I’m meeting for dinner. She was there this morning, when Hannah asked to have dinner together and talk things through.
She lets my tie fall to the floor and grabs my collar, her movements betraying her anger. “I hate this shirt,” she murmurs as her fingers brush over the top button on my shirt.
I swallow hard as Raven slowly unbuttons the blue shirt Hannah once bought me. I watch her carefully as more and more of my shirt falls open, unsure what to do or say. She’s never touched me in this way before, yet it feels so right. The possessiveness in her eyes, her touch. This is new territory for me.
“Rave,” I whisper. “What are you doing?” She’s clearly angry, and I don’t want to provoke her any further.
She clenches her jaw and looks at me, her eyes flashing. “Undressing my husband. What are you doing?”
I tense and wrap my hands around her wrists, keeping them in place. “It’s just dinner.”
“Is it?”
I nod. “Raven… I swear, I’ll keep my promise. Despite my past with Hannah and my feelings for her, I won’t cheat on you.”
I tighten my grip on her wrists, and she looks up at me. “Ares,” she sighs. “I don’t want to make you unhappy. Hannah made it sound like it’s nothing, but three years is a long time. I don’t really know what to do. I’ll be honest with you, I don’t share well, and I can be quite jealous. The moment you and I got married, you became mine. I refuse to be made a fool of, and I won’t let you two sacrifice me for your own selfish goals. I won’t be your front while you screw my sister behind my back. I don’t know what our marriage will look like, and I’m well aware that you’re in love with her, but you’re insane if you think I’m going to stand back and watch you date her.” She pulls her wrists out of my grip and takes a step back. “I want you to be happy, Ares… but not with her. Not like that. Not after what you’ve both asked of me.”
I smile at her, intrigued. Raven has always been so sweet and calm, and I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly knew her at all. In the last couple of weeks, she’s been different, and I think I like the change. I lean in and brush her hair out of her face. “I hear you, Rave. I do. This is confusing for me too, but you’re right. I’m yours… and you? You’re mine. It’s going to take us some time to navigate this marriage, but I can promise you this much: I won’t ever betray you, nor will I knowingly hurt you.”
She nods and turns away, some of her anger draining away. I watch her as her fingers brush over the shirts in my closet. She picks a white one and takes it off the hanger. “And Raven?” I tell her. “I don’t share at all. If you’re asking me to keep my distance from Hannah, you better be keeping your distance from other men, too.”
She turns back around to face me, her eyes finding mine. “I’m yours,” she says, and my heart skips a beat. “Only yours.” There’s something about the way she looks at me that reminds me of the dream I had, and the mere memory of it has my cock hardening. I tear my gaze away and take a deep breath. I’m so fucking conflicted. She’s my wife, yet thinking of her in that way fills me with guilt.
Raven walks up to me and hands me my white shirt. I expected her to walk away, but instead, she grabs the lapels of the shirt I’m wearing and pushes it over my shoulders. Fuck. She’s so fucking close, and though I shouldn’t, I wonder how she’d respond if I kissed her.
“I’ll do it,” I tell her, pulling away. Having her hands on me feels too intimate. It’s too much. Other than that night she and Sierra got drunk, she’s always kept an appropriate distance from me, so I’m uncertain how to handle this new version of her.
Raven watches me as I change into the shirt she chose for me. “Don’t let me down,” she says, her voice so soft I barely missed it.
I look up sharply, my eyes meeting her vulnerable gaze. “I won’t,” I promise her. Neither of us knows how to navigate this marriage, but this much I can do. I’ll keep my promises to her.
Raven nods, her gaze following me as I walk out.
All I can think about as I make my way to the restaurant I’m meeting Hannah at is the way she just looked at me. Raven looked so hurt, so disappointed.
I’m not sure what to make of it. She and I… I’m not sure what the future holds for us, but I’m starting to wonder what the next three years will be like. I thought she’d want to keep her distance, that she’d push me toward Hannah, but the way she just touched me… it was intimate in a way I didn’t expect.
“Ares!”
I look up when Hannah rushes toward me the moment I step into the private dining room she arranged. She wraps her arms around my neck and rises to her tiptoes, her lips brushing against mine for a split second before I manage to push her away. “Don’t,” I snap, wiping my lips with the back of my hand.
Confusion flickers through her eyes. “Ares… please don’t be mad at me.”
I walk past her and take a seat, not bothering to pull out her chair for her like I usually would. Hannah stares at me for a moment before joining me at the table.
“Ares…”
“Where were you?” I ask her. “On our wedding day, where were you?”
She looks away and wraps her arms around herself, her eyes filling with tears. “I genuinely didn’t think they’d make Raven do this,” she says, her voice trembling. “I’d just landed my dream role, and I was just trying to stall. I thought this would be the only way to do it. So long as you weren’t involved, your grandmother wouldn’t punish you for my actions.”
I lean back in my seat and stare at her. I’ve loved her for so many years, but I’m starting to wonder if that’s only because we forced this relationship. “You gambled, and you lost, Hannah.”
She smiles at me and tilts her face. “It was unexpected, but Raven won’t mind getting a divorce in three years. This only slightly derailed our plans. Raven and you used to hang out every once in a while, so there’s no reason we can’t do the same. No one needs to know.”
I cross my arms and smile humorlessly. “Are you asking me to cheat on my wife with you? You want to be my mistress, Han?”
Her eyes flash with anger. “She isn’t really your wife,” she snaps. “Besides, it’s not like Raven will mind. Or are you planning to remain celibate for three years?”
My thoughts involuntarily turn back to the dream I had last night. No, there’s no way I’m staying celibate. “Hannah. You’ve always known that marriage is sacred in the Windsor family, and I’m no exception. I won’t cheat on my wife, regardless of who she is. I’ll treat her with the respect she deserves. You chose to walk away from us, and Raven and I were left to deal with the consequences.”
“I messed up, Ares. I know I did… but this… you and I have been together for as long as I can remember. I don’t understand. Are you seriously telling me you want to be with my sister in that way?”
I run a hand through my hair. “No,” I tell her. “I’m telling you that you can’t have your cake and eat it, too. You made your choice, so you’ll live with the consequences. Maybe, you and I can be together in three years, or maybe we’ll realize that our relationship was over long before you walked away. I honestly don’t know, Han. What I do know is that I’m done humoring you.”
“Ares, what does that even mean?”
“It means that we’re over. The moment I married Raven, you became my sister-in-law, whether you like it or not.”
She stares at me, wide-eyed. “Ares, I know you’re mad, but don’t do this.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t do this, Hannah. You did.”
She reaches for my hand and entwines our fingers. “Ares, I don’t want to lose you. Please, give me a chance to make this right. Please, honey. This… can’t you see how insane this all is? I can’t lose you. I don’t even know who I am without you.”
I smile tightly. “We can try being friends, Han, but that’s the best I can do.”
“Friends?” she asks, confused. “How could you and I possibly be friends?”
Yeah, how could we? After everything we’ve been through, how do we find a way to stay in each other’s lives without hurting each other, without hurting Raven?
