“You haven’t been yourself today,” John says. “Your facial expressions were off during your shoot this morning. Are you sure you’re fine to walk this show?”
I nod as I play with the hem of my robe. All day, my thoughts have been on Ares’s words. Hearing him say that he felt trapped broke my heart. This situation isn’t ideal for either of us, but I thought that… I thought he started to have feelings for me, but now I’m not so sure.
When he took me to Castello Designs and then to Laurier, I thought that was progress for us. Now I’m wondering if Hannah was right, and he was only trying to do right by me. What Ares considers the right thing to do isn’t the same as what his heart desires.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I say, trying my best to clear my mind and knowing I won’t be able to. I’m filled with heartache, shame and regret. Each time I think of the way I measured his body, the outfits I’ve been wearing around the house… damn it. Maybe I should’ve believed him that day I sat in his lap, when he told me that he’d never truly want me. I can get his body to react to me, but he’ll never want me the way he wants Hannah. The memories of everything I’ve done and tried disgust me. I’ve never been this person. I’ve never forced my affection on anyone else, yet that’s exactly what I’ve been doing to Ares. Hope made me courageous to the point that I sacrificed my dignity, and what for?
“You’re not fine, Raven.” John places a hand on my shoulder and looks at me with genuine concern in his eyes. “Are you overwhelmed with work? Have I been scheduling too much in for you? Or is it something else… is it Windsor? He’s given us complete control over your schedule with just a few caveats, but you need to tell me if he’s pressuring you in private.”
I look into his eyes, unsure what to even say. It’s been a really long time since I wanted to rely on someone. The urge to ask him for a hug and cry until my heart stops aching nearly overwhelms me.
“I just didn’t sleep well,” I say eventually, dragging my gaze down as I undo the knot on my robe, letting it fall open. The designer should be in any minute now to dress me.
“Are you okay, Rave? I’m worried about you. Did Ares Windsor do something to you?”
I force a smile for him and shake my head. “We had an argument, but that’s all it was. I suppose that’s just what marriage is like, right? It can’t always be perfect.”
John starts to speak but is interrupted when the door opens. We both turn around, expecting the designer to walk in with the gown I’m supposed to wear, but instead, it’s Ares. He pauses when his eyes land on me, the bags underneath his eyes identical to mine.
Ares’s eyes trail down to my exposed chest, and pure rage settles in his eyes. He walks toward me and slips out of his jacket, his stride confident yet rushed. “Raven,” he says, my name sounding like a warning as he wraps his jacket around my shoulders and pulls me toward him.
He glances at John and grits his teeth. “Excuse us, please. I need a moment with my wife.”
John looks at me, and I nod. He hesitates for a moment, but then he walks away, the door falling closed behind him.
“Raven,” he repeats, his tone softer now. “What was that? Why are you… you’re half-naked in front of him. Is there something going on between you two?”
I look into his eyes, my heart heavy. I’ve loved him for as long as I can remember, yet even though I’m married to him, my sister is still standing between us. “Does it matter?”
His gaze hardens, and he pulls me closer. “Of course it does. We promised each other fidelity when we got married, Raven.”
I put my arms around his shoulder, his jacket falling to the floor in the process, leaving me standing in front of him in nothing but an open robe. “I didn’t cheat on you, Ares. I’d never do that. I’m not that kind of person.”
He looks into my eyes as though he’s trying to ascertain my truthfulness. “Do you two have history?”
I look away and huff involuntarily. “Nothing like what you share with Hannah.”
His hands move around my waist, and he tightens his grip. “Rave,” he whispers, his forehead falling to mine. Ares inhales shakily and my heart wavers. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I really am.”
I push away from him, but he refuses to let me go. “Listen to me,” he pleads. “You’ve been ignoring my calls all day. I can’t take this, baby. This is not what I want our marriage to be like, okay? Didn’t we promise to communicate? Our situation is already so unconventional… the last thing I want to do is complicate it any further. Listen to me, please.”
I nod at him. “Fine,” I whisper, uncertain anything he has to say will diminish my pain.
“She never should have come to our home, and I never should’ve said what I did. I don’t feel trapped, Raven. Not with you. The situation is tricky, and I feel like I’m either hurting Hannah or I’m hurting you. That’s all I meant. I didn’t for a single second mean that I feel trapped in this marriage with you, you hear me? I’ve never been happier, Rave. I just know that hurting Hannah will put additional strain on your relationship with her, too. I don’t want to be the reason you argue with your sister, baby. I just… I just want you to be happy.”
I nod, unsure what to make of his words. “I get it, Ares. I’m just not sure that it matters. What are we even doing?”
“You told me you want happiness of your own, and I swear that I’ll try my best to give you that, if you’ll give me a chance. Will you, Raven? Will you give me a chance?”
My heart skips a beat as my eyes find his, nothing but sincerity in his gaze. “What does that mean, Ares?”
He cups my face, his thumb brushing over my lip gently. “It means that I want more than just your body. I want a chance to prove that I truly do want it all with you, the past be damned. I want a chance to win your heart,” he whispers. “Because with each passing day, you’re stealing a little bit more of mine.”
