“I can’t believe she’s pregnant,” Sierra says, her face marred with worry. “This can’t be happening, can it?”
I nod and lean back on her sofa. In the last couple of days, I’ve found myself staying away from home more and more often. Ares is doing his best to reassure me, but his words fall flat when he hovers around Hannah constantly.
Grandma was right. It only took him a few days to start worrying about her wellbeing, and I can’t begrudge her that — not when I know it isn’t about her, but rather about their child. It still doesn’t make it any easier to watch.
“Yep,” I say, popping the P. “You’re going to be an aunt soon. Congrats.”
Sierra frowns and tilts her head. “Yeah, you… too?”
My eyes widen for a moment, and then I flinch. Sierra looks away, speechless for once. There are no elaborate schemes, no jokes. Not this time. This isn’t a situation we can make light of.
“Grandma told me she’d let me go if I want to. She’ll let us get a divorce. I guess Operation Happily Ever After failed, huh?”
Sierra sits up in shock. “Are you serious?”
I nod and stare down at my nails. “She told me that she just wants me to be happy, but I can’t tell if it was just a way of asking me to do the right thing and divorce him.”
Sierra shakes her head. “No one but Ares and you get to decide that.”
I nod. “I agree, but there’s some truth to what she told me. I spent my entire life loving your brother, and what for? In the end, she’s still standing between us.”
Sierra sits up and frowns, her phone in hand. “Someone disabled my security system.”
Moments later, Ares walks in, his stride confident and his expression unyielding as he approaches me.
“Ares!” Sierra warns, but he ignores her and shoots her a withering warning look.
He reaches for me and lifts me into his arms, one hand around my back and the other underneath my knee. I instinctively lay my head on his shoulder and breathe him in, my heart instantly at ease. No matter what we’re going through, he’s always home to me.
“Enough,” he tells me as he walks outs, his grip tight. “I’ve given you a few days to process what happened, but that’s as much as I’ll give you. You’re done running, beautiful. No more avoiding me. That’s not how we deal with our problems, remember?”
I look up at him as he carries me back to our home. He’s only gotten more and more handsome with age, and with each passing year, I’ve fallen for him harder. But is my love enough? Is it enough to see us through the struggles we’re about to face? The media attention, the ridicule, the co-parenting. I’m not sure if I can withstand Hannah’s continuous hits for years on end.
I tense as we walk into our house, worried Hannah might see us. I’m his wife, yet I still feel like I’m doing something wrong by being in his arms in our own home. Is this how I’ll always feel?
Ares puts me down in the middle of our room, and I take a step away from him, feeling conflicted. “Raven,” he whispers. “Can we talk, please? All you’ve done is work or run off to Sierra’s. You once asked me for honest and open communication, and I now ask the same of you.”
I glance at him and nod hesitantly. “Ares, I just don’t know what to say. That’s all it is.”
I run a hand through my hair and walk to the bathroom, expecting him to drop it, but he follows me.
“I’m not asking you to tell me pretty and calculated words, Raven. I’ve never once wanted that from you. I want your raw, unfiltered truth. Tell me every single one of your fears, so I can take them all away.”
I take off my dress, the sound of fabric hitting the floor disrupting the silence that’s fallen between us. I turn the shower on as I try my hardest to articulate the thoughts that haunt me.
“You want the truth, Ares?”
I step underneath the shower stream and inhale shakily as the warm water hits my skin. I wish he hadn’t followed me in, so I could fall apart in private. I don’t want him to witness my pain.
“I hate who I am around Hannah and you. I hate the thoughts I have, the things I feel. I’m not a bad person, Ares, yet more than once, I wished the child Hannah is expecting didn’t exist.”
Ares’s hands wrap around my waist, and I gasp as he joins me in the shower. He pushes me against the wall and cages me in. “So have I,” he admits, his forehead dropping against mine. “I know the child is innocent, Rave. Of course I know that, but I’ve also wished that she wasn’t pregnant. The happiness we found was so hard-fought, and the last thing I want to do is allow something to threaten that. Is it wrong that your happiness matters more to me than my unborn child does? Perhaps so, but that is my truth. I’m not a horrible person either, Raven, and I have no doubt you and I will both love this child beyond measure once he or she arrives… but we’re only human, baby.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and he steps closer to me, until our bodies are pressed together, the water raining down on us.
“I’m scared I’ll have to watch you fall for her all over again. I don’t want to watch you care about her and celebrate each pregnancy milestone together. I don’t want to hear about scans and cots and fucking pregnancy vitamins. I don’t want her to have everything that I wanted with you.”
He presses a kiss to my forehead and inhales shakily, his pain apparent. “I’ll do what I can to minimize that kind of thing. With Grandma forcing us to welcome her into our home, that is more complicated than I’d like it to be, but we’ll make it work, Cupcake.”
I tighten my grip on him and hug him tightly. “But you shouldn’t have to, Ares. This is such a beautiful experience, and if not for me, you’d be enjoying every second of it.”
He buries a hand into my hair and tightens his grip. “There’s no point in wondering about what-ifs, my love. You are my wife, my everything. You always will be. No matter what.”
“I’m scared that just isn’t true. I’m scared I’ll lose you to her all over again. How do I compete with the history you two share? The child you’ll share? The bonds between you are endless, and no matter what angle I look at this from, I’m what stands between two people that have always loved each other. I was always just her stand-in, Ares, and she’s finally ready to take her place by your side. This is everything you’ve ever wanted.” I take a deep breath and look away, wishing I could take back the words I just uttered. I hate it when my insecurities rule me. This is not who I am. I barely recognize myself when faced with Hannah and Ares. Will I lose myself if I keep subjecting myself to this?
“No, Raven,” he says, tightening his grip on my hair. “You are all that I’ve ever wanted. I’ve never been this happy before, baby. You fucking complete me, Cupcake. You’re the part I never realized I was missing. You’re my heart, my soul. It doesn’t matter how many years I spent with Hannah, because just a few months with you brought me more happiness than years with her ever did. If she and I were meant to be together, we’d have made it work, Rave. If I truly loved her, I never would’ve fallen for you, and certainly not so quickly. Hell, if I loved her the way you seem to think I do, I’d never have let her go in the first place. I hear you, baby. I hear you, and I understand your fears, but trust me when I tell you that nothing she could do will make me waver. You’re the only one I’ll ever love, Raven. No man could have you and walk away from you. I know I can’t.”
“But you have,” I snap, my eyes burning with unshed tears. “You have, and I’m terrified you’ll do it again. I barely survived it the first time, but it’ll destroy me this time around, Ares. I can’t do this again.”
He cups my face with both hands and frowns. “What are you talking about?”
“Sierra’s 21st birthday,” I whisper. “I… I came to your room at night. We’d both been drinking too much, but it didn’t matter. The drinks were exactly what I needed to gather my courage. At that point, we’d been informally engaged. Your grandmother and my parents had both agreed on it, but you and I hadn’t discussed it. We’d both just kind of been dancing around the subject, and you’d been treating me the same way you treated Sierra, the way you’d always treated me, with playful kindness, and nothing more. I… I came to your room that night to ask what you thought of me and our engagement.”
He stares at me wide-eyed. “What?”
I draw a shaky breath and force myself to face him. “I tried to kiss you, and you told me that I didn’t know what I was asking for…”
“—and you replied that you weren’t as innocent as I thought you were.”
I nod, my heart skipping a beat. “You… you remember?”
He shakes his head. “No, but I’ve dreamed of this night. I’ve been dreaming about you for years, Raven.” He tightens his grip on my hair and tilts my face up. “Even when you were the last woman I ever should’ve desired, you kept my dreams captive.”
My eyes fall closed as sorrow fills my broken heart. “I gave you my virginity that night, Ares. You told me that there’d be no going back from that point onwards, and I believed you. You asked me to marry you, and the very next day, you announced that you were dating my sister.”
He drops his forehead to mine and inhales deeply. “Raven,” he pleads. “The next morning, I… I woke up with Hannah in my bed.”
I push against his chest, my stomach clenching. “W–what?”
He refuses to let me go and nods, his eyes reflecting the torment I feel. “I remember waking up with a smile on my face, wanting more of you. I turned over, and Hannah was in my bed, naked. She smiled at me and told me that she’d enjoyed every second of the previous night. She convinced me that the woman I slept with that night was her. Tell me the truth, Raven. Was it really you?”
I sniff as tears escape my eyes. “Yes.” My voice breaks. “It was me, Ares. I sneaked out of your room at dawn and went back to Sierra’s room to freshen up, and by the time I came down for breakfast, you were sitting there with your arm around her, telling everyone you were dating. It broke me.”
His hands roam over my body, and he lifts me up against the wall. I wrap my legs around him to hold myself up, feeling more vulnerable than I ever have before.
“When I woke up with her, I knew I lost my chance with you, Raven. I knew I could never have you after sleeping with your sister. I was as hurt as you were, Cupcake. The one I wanted was never her. It’s always been you. Only you.”
I burst into tears, and he takes his time to kiss each and every one of them away. “Ares, a few days later I tried to talk to you about it. Do you remember? You were in the living room at Grandma’s, and I asked you when you got together with Hannah, and what it’d mean for our engagement. I asked you if you ever felt anything for me, and if I ever meant anything to you at all.” I sniff, tears falling uncontrollably. “I still remember the way my voice trembled, the fear I felt as I voiced those questions. You looked at me with such pity and shot me down. You said that you considered me family, and that you were going to ask Grandma to break our engagement, because you’d never see me as anything but Hannah’s sister.” Ares tightens his grip on me, but I can’t face him. “You broke my heart, and I never recovered. Throughout the years, the two of you continued to make stabs at my heart, and I can’t take much more. I can’t do it, Ares. I’m begging you, please stop destroying what’s left of me.”
He cups my cheek and forces me to face him, his eyes filled with the same anguish I feel. “I love you,” he tells me. “I loved you then, and I love you now. Hell, if I’m truly honest with myself, I never stopped.”
He leans in, his lips brushing over mine as he kisses me, his touch filled with desperation. “I thought I lost my chance with you, Raven. I did what I could to ensure I could keep you in our lives.”
He drops his forehead to mine and inhales shakily. “Throughout the years, I took as much as you’d give me, finding any excuse to spend some time with you. I’d attend fashion shows under the guise of having to network, just so I could catch a glimpse of you. Most of the time, I could even fool myself, telling myself I was just looking out for you when it was so much more than that. It was wrong and deep down I knew it, but I couldn’t stay away. I told myself that it’d be okay so long as I never crossed the line, but fuck, being around you and not having you… yeah, that fucking killed me. I swear to you, I’ll spend the rest of our lives making up for lost time. Hannah won’t get away with this — I swear it. Raven, I will never hurt you again.”
He kisses me, his touch different this time. It feels far more emotional, more desperate. “Baby,” he groans, his hands moving to my ass. “I love you, Raven.”
I thread my hands through his hair and grip tightly. “I love you too, Ares. I always have.”
“I’ll never let you go again,” he promises me, his lips pressed against my neck.
I reach between us and wrap my hand around his cock, placing it right where I want it. He looks into my eyes as he pushes into me, taking his time.
“I’ll never walk away. You’re it for me, baby. No matter what,” he vows.
He pushes into me all the way, and I cry out. Ares fucks me against the wall in our shower, his eyes on mine, and for a few moments, it’s like nothing else matters. The whole world melts away until it’s just me and him. I let myself believe that we can make it through anything, that nothing could ever tear us apart.
I should’ve known better.
