HALF THE DAY is already gone as I stretch my arms and legs in the bed I’m sprawled out in. Ridge and Maddox ended up sleeping with me—one on each side. This morning, I opened my eyes to find Ridge sitting beside me with a tray of food. He claimed he was only there for a few minutes and didn’t want to wake me, but the temperature of the food says it was much longer.
Normally, I’d be a little freaked out about someone staring at me for so long while I sleep, but with Ridge, I kind of like it. Knowing he will always be there makes me feel safe, which is something I haven’t felt since killing the governor.
Maddox has been digging around at his dad’s corporate office today. He seems to think his dad is harboring a secret that involves Governor Saint. Both he and Ridge have been very tight-lipped about everything going on, but then again, so have I. Ridge still doesn’t know I was kidnapped from Temper’s room. Or, that he might possibly have a sister scouring all of Boulder Cove University in search of him.
But today, I plan to tell Ridge everything that happened during my time away with Maddox, and after. I can only hope he does the same in return. I need to know where Lev is and why they’re protecting him.
A subtle knock on the bedroom door has me scooting up on the bed. I smooth out the blanket over my legs and holler, “Come in.”
The door comes open, and Maddox steps inside. “Good morning, beautiful.”
He looks sexy as hell in a sleeveless tee shirt and gym shorts. There’s a bead of sweat around his hairline that glistens in the sunlight.
“Good morning to you. Have you been working out?”
“Not exactly the kind of workout I wish I was doing. I’ve been digging through boxes at my dad’s office.”
“And?”
He shakes his head in disappointment as he sits on the edge of the bed. “Nothing.” He exhales heavily. “I just don’t understand why my dad won’t let this shit with the governor go.”
I take his hand in mine, my thumb grazing his knuckles. “Everything is going to come full circle in time. We just have to be patient, and speaking of patience,” I begin. “Mine is running thin. I need someone to tell me what’s going on with Lev.” His eyes shoot wide open and I see his body tense up. “Why do you get so nervous every time I mention Lev?”
Maddox clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth before dropping his chin to his chest. “Because I haven’t been honest with you. Any of you.”
“Baby.” I place a comforting hand on his back while still holding his hand. “What’s going on? You can tell me anything.”
Regretful eyes peer up at me and just as Maddox opens his mouth to speak his truth, Ridge walks in the door. Maddox clears his throat and straightens his back, and I realize the moment of honesty has passed us all too soon.
But not if I have anything to say about it.
Ridge plops down on the bed on the other side of me and squeezes my thigh above the blanket. “What’s up? You look worried.”
I turn slightly toward him, while still giving Maddox my full attention. “Maddox was just about to tell me something important.”
My eyes don’t leave Maddox. He gulps before darting his gaze from me to Ridge and then back to me. “It’s nothing,” he says, and I can feel the anger rise inside me.
“No!” I blurt out. “You were going to say something. Now say it. I’m sick of all these secrets. Why the hell are you guys hiding Lev from me? What don’t you want me to know?”
Ridge slides off the bed and gets to his feet. He walks over to the window and presses his hands on either side of the frame. “No one’s hiding him from you, Angel.”
My hands fly in the air. “Then someone tell me what the fuck is going on!”
When no one says anything at all, I lose it. I jump out of bed, nearly knocking Maddox off it, shouting on my way toward the door. “If no one is going to tell me what the hell is going on, then I’ll find out myself.”
The second my footsteps are out of the room, Maddox says, “Lev didn’t kill Cade.”
I pivot around and look at him, and Ridge does the same. “Then who did?”
Maddox takes the corner of his bottom lip between his teeth, averts his gaze, and twiddles his thumbs in his lap.
“Noooo,” I drawl. “You?”
“What the fuck!” Ridge’s mouth falls open. “You killed Cade?”
I’m surprised to see Ridge is as stunned as I am. Of all people, I’d never suspect Maddox. “You murdered someone?” I huff. “No fricken way.”
“It’s true,” Maddox retorts, his eyes still set on his lap. “I’m not proud of it. I thought he assaulted you. Basically,” his head finally lifts, “I killed someone for something he didn’t even do.”
“Whoa,” I trek over to him, “don’t you dare do that to yourself.” I kneel in front of him, taking his hands in mine. “Cade was not a good man. Even if he didn’t assault me, we can’t forget what he and his dad did to Lev.”
“I just can’t believe you had the balls to kill someone.” Ridge draws his fingers around his mouth from the other side of the room, a look of disbelief on his face. “I guess my boy’s a man now.”
I can’t help the laugh that escapes me. This is no joking matter, but what the hell is this crazy life if we can’t crack jokes about the murders of these monstrous men.
Maddox scowls at Ridge, as if he’s taken offense to what he said. “Is that what makes a man?”
“Dude, it was a joke.”
“Then tell me, are you a man now?”
Ridge’s eyebrows furrow together and his lips purse tightly. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You think this is fucking funny? How about we all laugh at what you’ve done. Or is that a secret you intend to take to your grave?” Maddox is nearly yelling at Ridge now.
“Hey,” I tell Maddox. “It’s okay. Ridge told me about what he did as a child.”
Maddox’s gaze is pinned heavily on Ridge when he says, “That’s not the secret I’m talking about.”
My head turns slowly to Ridge. “What is he talking about? What other secrets do you have?”
Ridge scratches the top of his head in confusion. “Fuck if I know what he’s going on about.”
Maddox springs to his feet, shoulders taut. “So that’s how it’s gonna be?” He huffs as he takes slow strides toward Ridge. “You’re just gonna let her go on thinking Lev killed those other four guys and framed her for it?”
Maddox’s words seem to have struck a nerve. Ridge’s eyes narrow, and slow, controlled anger spreads across his face. He clenches his fists so tightly that his knuckles turn white as he draws in a deep breath through his flared nostrils. “Shut your fucking mouth.”
“What is he talking about, Ridge?” I stand there, stunned in disbelief. “Did you kill those men?” I can’t believe the words coming out of my mouth. “Did you frame me?”
Ridge’s eyes snap away from Maddox and soften as they land on me. “No! God no, Angel.” He crosses the room and attempts to take my hand, but I jerk it away. “I would never frame you for anything. That was Lev. You have to believe that.”
My head draws back quickly and I can’t control the rapid blinking of my eyes. “I don’t know what to believe anymore.”
I take a step back as this reality begins to set in. Ridge has always been my constant in this group. He’s always been there, even when I didn’t want him to be. He told me the truth even when it hurt. So what the fuck is happening? “You lied to me,” I say as my bottom lip trembles, but I refuse to give him any more of a reaction.
Ridge jabs a finger in the air in Maddox’s direction as he seethes. “So you can forgive him for taking the life of a guy who did nothing to hurt you, but you punish me for taking three to protect you?”
My voice rises to a near shout and I can feel my cheeks burning with anger. “How was that protecting me?”
“Those men knew!” he spits. “They knew you killed Governor Saint, and eventually they would have told someone. They had to go.”
Tears prick at the corners of my eyes as I try to process everything I’m hearing. “You killed three men!”
His voice echoes off the walls as he shouts, “I killed three men for you!”
“I…” I backstep, stumbling over my words. “I need some air.”
Ridge begins toward me, but I hold up a hand. “Don’t. Please,” I beg as I nearly trip trying to put some distance between us.
I storm from the room, feeling like everything these past couple months has been a lie. My feet don’t stop moving until I’m settling on an old board swing hanging from a towering oak tree in Maddox’s backyard. The weathered rope of the swing creaks as I sit down. I don’t bother swinging. I just sit there, alone with my thoughts.
Maddox killed Cade. He thought he was protecting me, but in the end, he was actually protecting Lev. I can’t fault him for that.
Ridge killed those other men. He, too, was protecting me. How many people have to die for me? Tears spill down my cheeks at the thought of all these lives being taken because of me.
Lev killed Zeke for reasons still unknown. Then he framed me for the other murders, because what, he wasn’t in his right mind? Am I so forgiving that I can let that go too?
Minutes pass as I’m lost in thought. I’m not sure how many, but it feels like an eternity because the sun is already beginning to set. Suddenly, my gaze shifts to a shadowy figure moving slowly toward me.
My eyes lift to meet his. “Lev?” That one single word is laced with so much emotion, my heart can barely contain it. It’s a mixture of indignation, rage, and pain. “You’re here.”
With his hands stuffed in the pockets of his black jeans, he strolls toward me. His head hangs low, but his eyes are dead set on mine. I jump up, anxious to see him, but I’m not sure why.
He stops walking, one foot set in front of the other. “You gonna run away from me, Trouble?”
I shake my head no and sit back down on the swing.
He takes a couple more steps until he’s pressing his palm to the tree. “The guys are gonna be pissed. But I had to see you.”
“I’m glad you came.”
His eyes perk up in surprise at my declaration. “You are?”
“Seems I owe you an apology.”
The corner of his mouth tugs up. “And I owe you one, too.”
“You definitely do. But I’d like to go first, if you don’t mind.” Lev waves his hand in the air before returning it to the tree, so I begin. “I’m sorry I didn’t take the time to listen to you at the cabin. I just…saw your pill bottle and knew it was a match to the one in my room. I’m not saying I’m not mad at you for what you did, but I’m willing to hear you out now.”
“I fucked up, Trouble.” His hands run through his white-blond hair with his gaze downcast at his feet. “Let me rephrase that. I was fucked up.”
“I know,” I cut in. “I know all about that horrible doctor and your uncle. I’m so sorry they did that to you.”
His shoulders shrug. “It is what it is.”
“No,” I stammer. “That doesn’t have to be your response. Be mad, Lev. Be fucking furious. You’re allowed to be. It doesn’t make you crazy.”
“Doesn’t it, though? If I react, am I the same man I was when they were drugging me? Will I lose all credibility because I lost control yet again?”
I push myself off the swing and walk over to him. The pain in his eyes slices my heart in two. As angry as I am, I don’t want Lev to hurt. I take his hand from the tree and hold it in mine. “You’re human. You’re allowed to react.”
His eyes skate up to mine and butterflies swarm through my belly. “You’re human, too, Trouble. You should be angry; you’re the one who deserves to be fucking furious. Go ahead and tell me what a horrible person I am for coming into your room and taking advantage of you when you were drunk. And let’s not forget, I pushed a man out your bedroom window for my own benefit. Because I wanted it to look like Cade did it. I fucking hated him.” His shoulders square as he takes a step back and brings his hands to his chest. “Let me hear it. Give me all you’ve got.”
I slowly shake my head no. “That wasn’t you.”
“But it was me,” he screams, body shaking with anger, only it’s not directed at me. It’s directed at himself. “I did those fucking things.”
“Stop it, Lev!” I grab both of his arms to hold him still. “You weren’t in your right mind. You’re not the horrible person you want to believe you are.”
Lev closes his eyes and I let go of him as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Everything’s just such a fucking mess.”
“No kidding.” My voice is almost a whisper as I replay the conversations I had with Maddox and Ridge. “I don’t even know where to begin cleaning up any of it.”
“You shouldn’t have to,” he says, eyes now open. “This is our problem—mine, Ridge’s, and Maddox’s. You shouldn’t be worrying about any of it, and it kills me that you are.”
“Well, you framed me. So, there’s that.” A smile plays on my lips and I’m hoping he sees the humor in it.
When he grins back, I’m certain he does. “I take it you know I’m not the one who killed those guys? Or Cade?”
“I know you didn’t do it, but I know you did frame me.”
“That was my next apology. I didn’t know you then, Trouble. Didn’t care about anyone or anything. I saw you as a threat because I knew you killed Governor Saint and I knew Ridge’s assignment was to investigate his death. Then I saw Ridge going around murdering these men as he was obsessing over you, and my first instinct was to cover his tracks while protecting him from…”
His words trail off, but I know what he was going to say. “From me?”
He draws in a deep breath. “I guess so.”
“Do you still feel that way? Like you need to protect your friends from me?”
His response is an immediate, “No.” There’s a slight pause before he continues, “The only person I want to keep safe is you.”
A warm feeling of contentment flows through me, and I find myself grinning from ear to ear. “But what if the only way I feel safe is with all of you?”
“Then I guess it’s time we bring some fuckers down.” His smile matches mine and I feel like things are finally about to change.
“Together?” I stretch out my arm and he responds by enveloping my hand in his calloused grip.
“Together.” Just as the word slips through his lips, his eyes shoot over my shoulder.
I follow his gaze to see Ridge sitting on the bottom step of the porch, watching us.
“He’s always there,” I tell Lev.
“Yep,” he pops the P. “And he always will be. How do you feel about that?”
My eyes roll as my annoyance with Ridge returns. “Right now, I’m pretty pissed at him. Maddox, too.”
“Maddox?” He inhales audibly through his mouth. “Didn’t know Maddox was capable of doing anything to piss anyone off.”
“Ohhhh, you have no idea, do you?”
“Guess not,” he quips.
“Well, allow me to fill you in.” I gesture toward a small bistro set that’s situated between two flowerpots on a gray cement patio.
Lev pulls out a chair for me and the metal legs scrape against the cement. I take a seat, and he settles into the chair across from me.
“I guess there’s no easy way to say this.” I purse my lips before continuing. “Maddox killed Cade.”
Lev’s eyes nearly pop out of their sockets before he bursts out in laughter. His hand smacks repeatedly to his leg, as if this is the most humorous thing he’s ever heard. “No fucking way.”
“That seems to be a common reaction, but yeah, he did. He just admitted it to Ridge and me before I came out here.”
“It’s true,” Ridge hollers from where he’s still sitting about forty feet away. “Our boy fucking ended that piece of shit.”
“Nosey bastard,” Lev grumbles, and I laugh.
After filling Lev in on everything he’s missed, we sit outside and talk for what feels like hours. Ridge even brought us out food, while being respectful enough to let us have our privacy, of forty feet. Eventually, though, he did go inside with Maddox.
The sun is completely set now, but there’s two yard lamps lit beside us on the small patio.
Lev reaches across the table and he takes my hands in his. Butterflies swarm through my stomach as I relish in the way his skin feels against mine. His mouth opens, then closes, and I watch intently as he struggles to get out the words he wants to say. “I…um. I don’t know where we were headed before everything went to shit, but I’m hopeful that maybe we can get back to that place at some point. The truth is,” he pauses for a beat, “it’s been a long time since I’ve been scared to lose someone and that might be because I really don’t have anyone to lose besides the guys. But the thought of losing you terrifies me, Trouble.”
Grazing his thumb with my forefinger, I smile in response as I say, “I’m not going anywhere.”
