Lesson of the Day: Don’t assume anything. Find the truth or you’ll be deceived by the lie.
Mikka
I hadn’t slept. After showering away the trauma and sipping my mother’s tea in her living room, I told her I was tired. Yet, I lay there wide awake.
When I’d turned my phone on, it lit up with message after message. I read everything. And then reread all the texts he sent.
Jay: Where are you?
Jay: You packed up everything and left. Where the hell did you go, Little Pebble?
Jay: If this is about the movie and Lela, I promise we can talk.
Jay: We need to talk either way.
Then, there were the voicemails.
The first hour of my flight: “Wrecking ball, why did you smash the relationship we were building together? Are you scared? Mad? We’ll work through it. Call me when you get this. I need to hear your voice.”
The third hour of my flight: “I’ve called you a million times but it goes straight to this voicemail and I’m not sure what else to say. I talked with Dougie and your mom. Whatever you’re doing isn’t right. You know how I know? Because we’re right. We’re the top of the class. The A on your assignment. The best in show. Me and you, little one. Please call me back.”
At the hour I’d faced down Dougie: “I’m going to stop calling for today. I’m going to try to get these scenes over with. And then I’m coming for you. You want me to come for you, right, Meek? Damn, woman. I don’t know anymore.”
The last four words broke the heart that was beating just for him.
I tossed and turned, wanting to keep a level head, wanting to stop myself from rushing back to him. But my body didn’t belong to me anymore. It belonged to a man that was worth belonging to.
I jumped from my mother’s spare bed and grabbed the suitcase I hadn’t even unpacked.
Halfway down the stairs to the front door of the store, I heard soft footsteps behind me. “You’re leaving now?” My mother’s voice sounded an octave higher than usual.
“Jay doesn’t know why I left.”
“Jay is what Yue Lao has in store for you. He will be fine if you rest, heal, and take care of your mother for a few days.”
“Take care of you? You’ve been buzzing around, cleaning up the shop all night. You’re fine.”
“Well, I could have been hurt,” she said like a petulant child. “It’s not my fault that Dougie was bad at everything. Had he knocked me out, I would have had more reason to complain.”
I laughed at her joke, but it made my throat ache where Dougie had crushed my airway. When I turned my head to the side to cough, my mother was there in a flash, lifting my chin to assess the damage. “I should pay Ronnie to take care of Dougie.”
Leaning away, I crossed my arms. “Okay. Are you serious about the mob? Is Ronnie a part of this partnership you formed? That’s not a clean business, Mom.”
I worried she was losing her marbles, that someone was coaxing her into doing business for the mafia.
“Oh, Meek. Don’t worry about it. Ronnie knew your father and he helped start this business.”
“But, Mom—”
“The less you know, the better. Now, are you going to get your husband or what?” She shooed me toward the doors, completely happy with me leaving now.
“He’s not…we…I’m his PA,” I stuttered.
“Oh, don’t waste your energy on lying, Mikka. You’re going to need it to make sure he wants to marry you once the bruises on your neck and face surface. Not to mention that you left him to fend for himself during one of the most important times of his career. You’re his PA. You should be there.”
I rolled my eyes and hugged her goodbye to hurry and catch the next flight.
I fidgeted in my seat for the next hour, willing the plane to go faster. I finally opened my book bag and placed the planner in my lap.
Jay had hidden it from me all month, and for some reason it felt wrong to open it now. Maybe I wasn’t the same person I’d been when I arrived in Greenville. Maybe our lives couldn’t be listed out and crossed off each day.
I took a deep breath and opened to the current day. In permanent marker, he crossed out the lesson for the day and wrote:
Lesson of the Day: “I got you, Pebble. No plans.”
The next day, it read the same:
Lesson of the Day: “I got you, Pebble. No plans.”
I flipped through every page before and every page after. He’d filled them all in. The lesson was always the same and I believed him. As tears filled my eyes, I hoped I would get to him in time. I hoped I would be able to explain why I hadn’t told him, that his movie was just as important to me as anything else.
Landing just twenty minutes away from Greenville, I felt like I was almost home.
Crossing into the town, I rolled down the window and leaned my head out so the cool, fresh breeze could hit me.
Almost home. Almost to Jay.
The sun had just started rising in the East over a hill of golden, autumn-painted grass. As we pulled into Lorraine’s driveway and the gravel crunched under the tires, I hummed a sound of comfort.
As I scanned the Lodge, I didn’t consider whether or not I should knock. I didn’t consider what the little town thought of me anymore. I’d faced one demon and it made all the others shrink back. I belonged where I wanted to. I stood tall like my mother.
And this town had accepted me for who I was before all that.
The door opened as it always did. I was sure Lorraine never actually locked them. I called for Lorraine, but there was no answer. Next, I took the stairs a little more quickly than I normally would have to knock on Jay’s door.
No answer.
I banged on it before swinging it open and finding his bed made but the dresser wiped clean. The vase, books, and doilies that usually sat atop it lay askew on the ground.
I was like a woman in a horror film; I checked every corner of the house as though he was hiding somewhere, even the closet.
My mind raced with worry, with doubt, with the terrible feeling that Jay had access to everything dangerous with no support last night.
I flew down the steps and burst from the home. I ran down the street, so fast I was sure I could have been a track star, and ended up on the outside barrier of the movie set. I scanned it all, and one trailer’s light glowed brighter than the rising sun.
Lela’s.
Maybe there was such a thing as an old man on the moon. Maybe Yue Lao really had tied Jay and I together because I felt the pull. I knew Jay was in that bus with her. Each step toward it felt like sloshing through murky waters toward hell. I wanted to believe I would find them both awake, maybe just catching up, sharing stories through the night.
My gut clenched at even that idea, though. For some reason, over these past couple of weeks, I’d solidified in my mind that Jay was mine.
And this time, I was willing to stand my ground because I was good enough. Logical enough. And we were perfect enough to fight for.
I fisted my hand and pounded on the door.
After a minute, Lela cracked it open and squinted one eye at me. “Girl, it is early.”
I jerked my head down. “Is Jay with you?”
The silent sun rose, the birds chirped loud, the early workers’ cars hummed in the distance. Lela assessed me with her red robe hanging from her shoulder and her dark hair knotted on her forehead. Her presence would enrapture anyone, and this moment was no different. I wasn’t sure if she was calculating odds, comparing herself to me, or learning my whole being.
I lifted my chin, though. I wasn’t backing down.
Finally, she opened the door wide and sighed. “It’s a good thing you’re here actually. The stars are shifting in the sky and you both need to connect or you’ll lose each other forever.”
I was accustomed to my mother talking like that, so I shrugged and stepped up into the bus, not concerned with her omen at all.
Finding Jay laid out on the velvet seat, fast asleep with lines of coke on the table in front of him was the moment all omens flooded me. My gut fell down the nine circles of hell and burned there as I stared.
Jay had relapsed. He’d lost the battle and I knew without a doubt I’d contributed to the chain of events leading up to this.
Tears welled in my eyes at seeing how much we’d destroyed. I wanted answers, I wanted to shake him awake and scream at him. First, though, I needed to lock down the situation.
“Close the door, Lela,” I commanded.
She let out a low whistle and did as I said.
“Who knows he stayed here with you last night?” I asked as he stirred on the couch.
She shrugged. “Probably no one.” She peered out her window. “Actually, probably everyone. I can feel their whispers. They know.”
Unfortunately, I believed her.
Jay sat up from his slumber. His eyes adjusted, so blue and crystal clear I wondered how much cocaine he’d truly sniffed. It didn’t matter because he looked at me with so much pain and frustration, I didn’t think there was any way we could overcome the next few hours.
“Where the hell have you been? What the fuck have you been doing all night?” he rasped out.
I should have just answered him. I should have taken the high road. I pointed to the table instead. “More important question, what the hell were you doing?”
I’d lost him. His eyes turned such an icy blue, I knew right then. We’d lost each other. Our ground rules stated that we weren’t broken, but we both had been and we couldn’t be honest about it. It’d made for a fragile base, one that was definitely not strong enough to hold a wrecking ball and a larger-than-life movie star.
