I slam the door shut and lean against it, allowing myself to let go.
My legs are barely able to hold me upright, and my core still pulses from the frighteningly powerful release I just had.
I’m breathing harshly like a trapped animal with no way out. I cover my face with both of my trembling hands in a hopeless attempt to calm myself down.
I need to snap out of it, and I need to snap out of it now.
How could I let that asshole, that brute, own me so unapologetically? How could I enjoy every second of it as if I’ve been waiting years for that type of pleasure?
I haven’t been…right?
The more I close my eyes, the harder the images from last night and this morning rush in.
I kissed him first.
I started this endless circle with no way out, and now, the evidence of my screw-up is still dripping between my thighs.
Kyle didn’t hold back—far from it. He took and took, and what he gave in return? Yeah, that’s my utter destruction and the reason I’m hiding like a coward right now.
For the life of me, I can’t pretend I hated it, not when my traitorous insides are still begging for more.
What the hell is he doing to me?
There’s a rustling on the other side of the door and I freeze, feeling him without even having to see him or hear his voice. I’m attuned to him in inexplicable ways, invisible ropes always pulling me in his direction.
“Rai…what did I say about not locking yourself away from me? Open the door.” His words are measured—calm, even—but I can sense the threatening undertone beneath them.
“Leave me alone.”
“If you don’t open it, I’m breaking the fucking thing.”
“Just…let me be,” I mutter, and my gaze falls on the ring—the reason for this whole mess, the reason why my fate is sealed with no way out.
“I’ll count to three. One, two…” I don’t even get the chance to pull away as something hard rams into it.
I jump forward as the sturdy door bangs open, its joints nearly ripping from their locations.
Kyle stands at the entrance, naked, like some glorious warrior after a battle. I knew he was strong, but I guess I never realized just how strong he really is. Though his power in bed should’ve given me an idea about his insatiable stamina.
He stalks into the bathroom with panther-like agility, his feet not making the slightest sound on the white tiles. I instinctively step back. There’s something frightening in the depths of his eyes. It was present when he was fucking me, but I couldn’t figure the meaning behind it.
It wasn’t exactly anger then, but it seems close to it now. Either way, it’s a version of Kyle I don’t want to butt heads with, especially since I’m naked and in my most vulnerable form.
“Didn’t I say you can’t lock me out?” he asks in a deceptive type of calm that knots my stomach.
The back of my foot catches on the edge of the shower’s entrance. I chance a glance so I can step in. I’m probably trapping myself, but it’s the only choice I have while he’s advancing on me like this.
When I look up again, Kyle’s height blocks my vision. I’m caged in that angry look in his eyes, in the disapproving feelings behind them.
He grabs me by the throat and pushes until my back meets the wall. My breathing is constricted and I can feel the blood rushing to my face. There’s nothing sexual about his grip. It’s raw and meant to threaten. “You do not get to run or hide from me. Do you fucking understand?”
I claw at his hands, but that only causes him to tighten his grip until no air seeps through. My struggles come to a halt since that will only drain my energy. He’s the one with the physical power, and if I fight him on that, I will only get myself killed.
Dedushka’s words about picking my battles keep me rooted in place.
“I said…is that fucking understood?”
When I remain motionless, he grabs my hair with his other hand and forces me to nod my head.
“That’s yes, I understand. Yes, I won’t run from you. Now, say it.” He loosens his hold on my neck and I gulp copious intakes of air, choking on the life it brings me. It takes me long seconds to catch my breath.
“Fuck you,” I manage, glaring up at him. “What right do you have to demand that from me when you ran away first? You left me first!”
“So what’s your angle here? Do you plan to leave me as revenge?”
“Believe me, if I put my mind to revenge, me leaving you would be the easiest way out for you.”
“Rai…don’t test my fucking patience.”
“Or what? Or fucking what? You took a lot from me already. If you think I will let you do it again, you don’t know Rai Sokolov.” I push at his chest, but his grip on both my throat and my hair keeps me imprisoned in place.
“You forgot a little something, Mrs. Hunter. You’re my wife now.”
“That doesn’t make you the boss of me.”
“We’ll see about that.” He strokes his finger on the hollow of my throat, loosening his hold a little. “Fuck. You do bruise easily.”
I glance down my body and immediately regret it. Bruises, hickeys, and imprints from his fingertips are all over my neck, breasts, hips, and thighs. I can’t even recognize my body anymore. It’s like it already left me and went to Kyle.
“Let me go.” I try to push at him.
He keeps me caged between him and the wall. “Not before you tell me why you left the bed that way and hid in the bathroom.”
The reminder of what happened slams back into me all at once: the power, the abandon, the searing pleasure and the unbearable pain.
“Why do you want to know? You already got what you wanted.”
“We got what we wanted. Don’t try to pretend you didn’t like what happened for even one second.”
“I told you to put a condom on. I told you not to come inside me.”
He narrows his eyes. “Is this what all the fuss is about? A condom?”
“The fuss is about getting pregnant. I’m not on birth control.” My voice drops at the end and I look away from him.
Kyle uses his hold on my hair to bring back my attention to his sinfully beautiful face, his expressionless face. “And you hate that so much?”
“Of course I do! Who in their right mind would bring a child into this world? And with a father no one knows anything about. What if I wake up one day and you’re not there, huh?” I stop before I blurt out everything inside me. That I barely survived alone the other time. That I can’t do it again, especially if an innocent soul is involved.
“Is that how low you think of me?” His voice isn’t angry, more like astounded, and that hits me even harder.
“What should I think? I know nothing about you. Nothing. All Dedushka said about you was that you’re a reputable killer and that’s it. Who are you, Kyle? Who are your parents? Where are you really from? What’s your real last name? Is Kyle even your real name, or is it another ‘fuck you’ I have to live with once you’re gone?”
“You have an awful lot of questions for someone who, according to your own words, doesn’t give a fuck about me.”
I purse my lips shut to not divulge all the chaos that’s been building for years. If I do, he’ll know how much he hurt me, and I will never give him that type of power over me again.
“Just know this, Kyle: I would never trust you. Not now, not in the future.”
He continues watching me with unnerving silence but says nothing. He doesn’t even attempt to answer any of my questions or get closer. He’s happy with being miles apart from me while the closest moment we’ve ever had was when his body was sinking into mine.
I try not to let that piece of information get to me, but it slices me open from the inside like a thousand cuts. I’m bleeding, but he doesn’t see it. I’m choking, but he’d never allow me air.
“Let me go.” My voice is numb, monotone. “I need to shower and buy the morning-after pill.”
Surprisingly, he does release me. I wait for him to say something, anything, but he turns around and leaves. He doesn’t close the door, but the emptiness he leaves behind echoes in the silent bathroom.
I take a scalding shower, rubbing his dried cum from between my thighs and holding in the tears barging into my eyes.
You’re not going to cry because of that man, Rai. Not again.
I close my eyes, letting the stream cover me whole as I think about Dedushka, Dad, and Mom, the people I lost and can never have again. Even Reina feels too far sometimes. Actually, it’s most of the time.
I seem to be an expert at that—losing people I consider family. Sergei will leave, too. Then, it’ll just be me and Ana. All alone.
Well, I am married, but does it even matter if Kyle remains a closed vault? Does it matter when, at every turn, I can’t shake off the feeling that he’ll leave?
Sighing, I step out of the shower and wrap myself in a towel.
I don’t find Kyle in the room. He’s inside the closet, standing in front of his small section, wearing only boxers.
My feet falter at the entrance, contemplating whether or not I should go in there.
“I don’t bite,” he says without meeting my gaze.
“I do.” I approach so we’re standing in a parallel line.
“Good to know, so if you’re pregnant, you’ll be able to protect our child.”
“I’m not pregnant.” I pull out a set of simple matching underwear.
“You don’t know that.” He faces me as he shoves his feet into black pants.
I slide the panties up my legs under the towel. “I won’t allow it to happen.”
“You know the morning-after pill actually slaughters the child if he’s already formed, right?”
“If you want to make someone feel guilty, maybe you should start with yourself, considering you intend on leaving.”
“I didn’t say that. Your trust issues did.”
“Trust issues?” I throw the towel away and snap my bra into place. “Do you think they came to be without a reason? Like, one day I was just sitting there and they fell on me from the sky?”
“Point is, you have them.” He slides into a shirt and takes his time buttoning it. “Don’t pass them on to our baby.”
“There’s no baby.”
He lifts a shoulder. “As far as you know.”
“It’s a fact.”
“You won’t know it for a fact until at least a few weeks from now when our baby is growing beautifully in your womb.”
“And then what? You’ll just be a doting father who will attend delivery classes with me and give me foot massages?” I mock.
“If that’s what you need, sure.”
My lips fall open and I pause with the sleeve of my dress up my shoulder. “Stop saying things like that.”
“Like what? Like I will be there for you and our baby? Like I will read him or her a goodnight story, then come fuck you senseless in our bedroom? Those types of things?”
“Yes, those types of things. Stop lying.”
He stands in front of me, shirt tucked into his pants, and runs his fingers through his hair, forcing it to submit to his will. Then, he casually turns me around and zips up my dress before he whispers against my ear, “You stop lying to yourself.”
I push off him to leave the closet, but he tsks.
“Not so fast.”
I groan as I face him. He’s holding the toy. Of course.
“I’m putting a time limit on this.” I jut my chin.
“Time limit?”
“In two weeks, if you don’t give me the information we agreed on, you won’t be putting any toys inside me.”
“But you like the toys inside you.”
“I do not. They’re bound to make me appear weak in front of the other members of the elite group.”
“And you hate that more than anything,” he finishes, voice calm.
I clear my throat, but don’t say anything.
He raises a brow. “But you still enjoy it.”
“That’s not the point. My position in the brotherhood is.”
“What if I don’t turn on the toy during the meetings?”
“As you shouldn’t. You also need to honor the deal we agreed on.”
“I already am. Why the fuck do you think I’m kissing up to the Italians’ arses with Adrian all the time?”
The thought of him spending time in the Lucianos’ mansion with a certain Emilia in sight bothers me more than I like to admit. “Hmph.”
“What was that for?”
“Nothing.”
“I’m unable to read your mind, so if you don’t tell me what you think, I won’t be able to act accordingly.”
“Nothing means nothing.”
“If you say so.” A muscle clenches in his jaw before he masks it. “Lift the dress and keep it there.”
“I’m sore.” I try to bargain, and I mean it. I can barely walk straight with how he broke me with his merciless fucking last night and this morning.
“This will soothe you. Now, lift it.”
I do so, staring at the wall so I don’t get caught up in the sight of him putting the toy inside of me, a reminder that he’s with me at all times.
He holds me to him by the waist, and I shudder at the feel of his erection at my stomach. The man is never satiated, I swear.
He releases me but only so he can lower my panties to my knees, then pushes my legs apart and teases my folds. I hate how familiar his touch has become, how addictive and stimulating, but what I hate the most is how much I miss it when he’s gone.
He slides my wetness from my pussy to my back hole and presses his thumb against the entrance.
“W-what are you doing?”
“Testing something. Stay still.”
I don’t know what’s going on until he presses his thumb further inside. It’s a small intrusion but my bundle of nerves explodes.
“K-Kyle!” I whisper-yell, partly mortified, partly—and strangely—aroused.
“Mmm. You’re too fucking tight here, too, but don’t worry, I’ll prep you to take my dick in the arse like a good little princess.”
Before I can protest, he slides the toy into my pussy. I wince as the reminder of his dick ramming in overwhelms me. I’m hit by the memories of his ruthless thrusts and savage fucking.
I briefly close my eyes to chase away those images. When I open them again, Kyle is lifting my panties up my legs. I push away from him, finish the task myself, and go to my console.
Since we have a morning meeting with Sergei and the others, I expect Kyle to go ahead, but he sits behind his laptop while I’m doing my hair and makeup. The moment I’m done, he’s by my side.
“You don’t have to be my shadow,” I say as we leave the room. “I don’t need protection.”
He raises a brow, grinning. “But our baby does.”
“Would you stop with that?”
“With what? That our baby boy or girl is growing inside you?”
I’m about to hit him in the side when a presence catches my attention. Adrian is standing on the second floor’s small hall, wearing his usual sharp suit, and tapping his fingers against his thigh. Only family members and their guards are allowed here. The others only come up when they have permission.
Adrian isn’t the type who would do such a thing without it, and that’s how I know the reason for his presence here is concerning.
We stop in front of him, and I speak first. “What are you doing here, Adrian? Is everything all right?”
His eyes flash toward me, flickering, almost like he’s about to go into one of Damien’s manic episodes. But then, he seals his reaction in, speaking in his usual composed tone. “What happened yesterday?”
“I already briefed Sergei.”
“I want to hear it from you. Don’t leave anything out.”
It’s not a surprise since Adrian is so attuned to details and prefers to hear retellings from the source who witnessed the event. “Well, Lia and I were standing near the entrance when I saw a dot on her forehead. I pushed her down, and Kyle pushed me as the silent bullet hit the door above her head.”
“What else?”
“That’s all.”
Adrian grips me by the arm so hard I wince. “What. Else. Rai? Surely you saw something? Someone?”
Kyle grabs Adrian’s arm and twists it off mine, his expression closed. “Do not lay your fucking hands on my wife again. She already said that’s all, so that’s all.”
Adrian meets Kyle’s impenetrable glare with one of his own. A war of gazes erupts between them with their own weapons and battalions.
“That really was all,” I say in an attempt to dissipate the tension. It’s the first time I’ve witnessed Adrian like this.
“What happened after?” He breaks off eye contact with Kyle to focus on me.
“We just went into the meeting as planned.”
“And Lia didn’t do anything?”
“What was she supposed to do…?” I trail off. “Wait—is she having PTSD?”
He narrows his eyes on me. “Why would you say that?”
“No reason.” It seemed she didn’t want him to know, so I’m not going to sell her out to a frightening-looking Adrian right now. “Let’s join the others.”
We find Sergei and the four kings seated around the dining table. Vlad meets us at the threshold and follows us in.
As soon as we’re inside, Kyle pulls the chair out for me.
“I can do it myself,” I say.
“I’m just being careful so you don’t hurt the baby.”
Silence fills the room and my heart nearly knocks out of its place and spills out on the floor.
“The baby?” Sergei’s eyes widen with unmasked interest.
“It’s not—”
“I believe we’re expecting, Pakhan.” Kyle cuts me off by placing his hand on my stomach in front of everyone and smiles. “Be good to Mommy, little guy.”
Congratulations fly all over the table, and Kyle accepts them while grinning down at me. Then he whispers at my ear, “No morning-after pill. You don’t want to disappoint everyone, do you, Princess?”
That’s it. I’m going to kill him.
