Concentration escapes me for the rest of the day at work. I can’t get my mind to focus no matter how much I try. I even go as far as taking breaks to meditate, but that doesn’t work either.
So I sit in my office, head lying back on the top of my leather chair as I stare at the library across from me.
Despite having the worst college experience, where I had to attend most classes online, I got my degree in business management. I didn’t need Dedushka’s last name to accomplish that. I did it on my own and with my own effort.
It took me so much to come this far, and yet I’m still expected to take a husband. Either that or Anastasia will pay the price. Either that or this position will eventually be snatched away from me.
I’m not a fool. I know I only rank so high because Granduncle is in power. The moment he’s gone, I’ll be kicked out or demoted, and I can’t do anything about it because of my damn gender.
My phone vibrates, and I retrieve it. An automatic smile paints my lips when I see the name flashing on the video call. She’s exactly what I need under the circumstances.
I straighten and answer with a smile. The exact replica of my face greets me. Well, almost exact. My identical twin sister has her hair loose to her shoulders, and she has pink lipstick on like the girly girl she is.
“Hey, Rei.”
“Hi, Rai! Look who wants to say hello to his aunty.” The screen shakes a little before she steadies it again, holding a tiny human on her lap.
He has his mom’s light hair, but his eyes are a deep forest green like his father’s.
Reina smiles at him. “Say hi, Gareth.”
My heart squeezes at the way she named him after Dad. It’s like he gets to live another life after his sudden and heartbreaking death.
“Hi, Aunty.” He grins, showing his baby teeth, and makes a kissing sound. “Miss you!”
“Hear the boy?” Reina scowls at the camera. “It’s been exactly six weeks since we last saw you.”
“You’re counting?”
“Damn right I’m counting. You’re my only family, Rai.”
“No, I’m not. You have Asher and Gareth. Also, Asher’s father treats you like his daughter.”
“None of them are my twin sister.”
“You know I can’t meet you often, Rei. It’s for you and your family’s security.”
They’re already using Anastasia against me, and while I can’t send her away because of who her father is, I can at least save Reina.
No one but Granduncle and Vlad knows she exists. Wait, no—Kyle helped me in saving her from Ivan’s coup seven years ago, and therefore, he’s well aware of her.
Shit. That’s one more reason to keep Reina as far away as possible.
I was feeling safe concerning her because Sergei would never hurt Dedushka’s other granddaughter, but Kyle is another story. He won’t hesitate to use every weapon in his arsenal.
“I know.” She releases a breath, stroking Gareth’s hair as he runs a car toy along her thigh. “Sometimes I wish I took your place.”
“Don’t say that. We both ended up where we should’ve.”
“Did we, though? Maybe it would’ve been different if I were the one who went to Grandpa’s side.”
Mom and Dad separated when we were born because Dedushka didn’t approve of her union with an American, even though he was a rich businessman.
Our parents decided to split my twin sister and me. Dad took me, and my birth name was Reina Ellis. Mom took my sister, whose birth name was Rai Sokolov.
While I was raised in a safe and loving entourage with Dad, Mom and my sister were on the run from Dedushka and his men their entire lives.
Mom didn’t want her to live the sheltered mafia princess life she had to endure. When we were twelve, Mom came and took me from school so we could leave the country. Dedushka was getting closer to catching her, and she didn’t feel like Dad could keep me safe.
That was the first time I met my mother and the second half of me—my sister.
We spent the most excruciating month on the run, but it was the most exciting, too. I got to know Reina—Rai then—and my mom, whom I’d constantly asked Dad about.
But then, they found us. They weren’t only Dedushka’s men, though. Ivan was also there, and he planned to eradicate every last Sokolov offspring so he could rule.
My sister and I were running, but we heard the gunshot that took Mom away. Ivan disguised it as suicide, but I know he killed my mom.
Back then, I gave my sister my name and told her to go to Dad and live my life with him. Then I stepped in front of Ivan and Mikhail and told them, “I’m Rai Sokolov.”
Despite being scared of what they could’ve possibly done to me, I never lowered my head or cut off eye contact. Dad taught me to never act like I’m wrong when I’m right.
That was the day my sister and I swapped places. Ever since then, I became Rai Sokolov and she is Reina Ellis—well, Reina Carson now.
Ivan wanted to kill me as he did with Mom, but a younger Mikhail snatched me from his hands and told him that the Pakhan wanted me alive. Needless to say, Mikhail must regret saving me every day now.
Dedushka and I didn’t always get along. If anything, I yelled and screamed and scratched his beard for how he sent his men to kill my mom. He said that he only wanted to bring her home, and that he never wished for his only daughter to die. It took me months to believe how genuine he was, and I wanted to tell him that Ivan was the one who killed Mom, but I didn’t, because I had no evidence and a practical man like my grandfather only believed in evidence. Besides, Ivan would’ve sold me in the black market before I could endanger his position at the time.
A while later, my grandfather sat in front of him and told me the words that snapped me into focus. “The only way to protect yourself, your sister, and your father is to become powerful.”
Since then, I realized that I needed to take advantage of his power. Over time, I saw how rightful Nikolai Sokolov actually was, and how much my mother’s death ate at his soul. He often said that he regretted not being the safety she needed and that I was his second chance.
Just like that, my life became different—especially from that of my twin sister.
When I keep my distance from her, like now, she often says stupid things, like maybe she should’ve kept her name. My poor sister doesn’t know that she would be eaten alive in my world. She wouldn’t be able to live her event-free life with her hotshot lawyer husband.
I sit upright. “Yeah, different, as in you would be dead, Reina.”
“Are you telling me you’re not heading there yourself?” Her voice catches, eyes filling with tears. “I’m worried about you.”
“Don’t be. I can take care of myself.”
“What if something happens and you can’t? Who will take care of you then?”
“I have my man and woman. You met them.”
“Ruslan and Katia are your guards, not your family.”
“Hey, they are. Don’t go insulting my right and left hands.”
She scoffs. “I don’t know if I should laugh or be sad that you consider your guards your family.”
“It’s because they’re loyal, Rei.”
She shakes her head. Right then, Gareth jumps from her lap and runs toward the door where his father comes in.
Asher scoops him in his arms and tickles his tummy, making him break out in uncontrollable giggles.
Reina’s husband is tall and handsome with dark hair and a broad build that he’s maintained since playing football in high school. He’s wearing a beige suit that gives him an approachable yet firm edge.
The camera moves a little when Asher lowers his head and captures Reina’s mouth in a kiss. It’s not only a peck or a mere brush of lips against lips. He goes all the way in, making her moan as she pushes away from him, cheeks flaming. “I’m talking to Rai, Ash.”
Asher grins at the camera, his green eyes twinkling. “Hey, Rai.”
“Hey, Asher,” I say in a tone that suggests I wasn’t the least bit affected by their PDA, but sometimes, it gets to me in ways I can’t explain.
All I’m sure about is that I need to protect the scene in front of me, Reina and her happy family. At least one of us needs to have that. One of us needs to love with all her heart as Dad taught us to.
Reina struggled for years to find her happy ending, and it’s my mission to make sure it continues.
There’s a knock on the door before Vlad waltzes in with both Ruslan and Katia. Right—I called this meeting.
“Listen, I’ve got to go,” I say, then hang up before Reina can say anything. Now that Asher is around, she won’t be too focused on bugging me about paying them a visit.
I join the other three in the sitting area across from my desk. Ruslan remains standing because he’s too into that ridiculous rule about respecting hierarchy. It’s not necessarily about me, but it’s about Vlad. He would never, and I mean ever, sit in his presence.
Katia heads to the cabinet to fix us drinks. She’s a fit, tall woman with dark brown hair she keeps gathered in a ponytail.
Her high cheekbones and freckled cheeks give her a distinctive look that can be adorable if only she loses the serious expression. She and Ruslan are cut from the same cloth.
“You don’t have to make drinks,” I tell her.
“Let me, miss.”
I shake my head as I flop opposite Vlad. The reason I trust those two with my life isn’t that they’re some guards Dedushka picked for me. No.
Ruslan has been with me since Grandpa’s time, but only because I handpicked him from the fighting rings myself. He was only twenty then, two years older than me, and won all his fights. I used to go with Dedushka to watch the underground fights and always kept an eye on ‘The Machine’, as they called him. In one of the matches, he had a head injury and was about to be taken out by his trainer like a dog. However, I stepped in and punched that trainer in the face, telling him if he didn’t respect his fighters, he didn’t deserve to be part of the brotherhood. Dedushka agreed. The trainer was out. Ruslan retired and asked Dedushka if he could become my guard.
Katia came after Grandpa’s death. She was smuggled in from Russia in a dirty container with drugs in her ass and was destined to become a whore in Mikhail’s brothels.
Since I was making it my mission to intercept Mikhail’s shipments and free as many women as I could, Katia happened to be one of those whom I was able to help out.
In order to save her from Mikhail’s rotten hands, I kept her close. Then I accidentally saw her training in kung fu and found out she has a black belt. She was sold to the mafia for a debt her dead father couldn’t pay.
Since then, these two have been the pillars I lean on, aside from Vlad when he’s not grunting, like right now.
“Now, what?” I ask.
“You’re really going to marry Kyle?”
I try my hardest to remain calm, even though everything inside revolts at the mention of his name.
Now that he’s back, it’s even worse.
If I’m being honest with myself, the reason I haven’t been able to work properly today isn’t only because of the marriage proposal. It’s mainly the way he invaded my space, touched me, and wrapped his hand around my throat as if he had every right to. Those long, lean fingers—
“Rai.”
“What?” I force myself out of my haze at Vlad’s strong voice. He rarely calls me by my given name, and when he does, it’s serious.
“I was asking if you’re going to marry the bastard.”
“I don’t have a choice. Either I do it or he’ll go after Ana.”
Vlad sucks in a breath but refrains from commenting. He’s the type who doesn’t like to meddle in others’ business unless he’s ordered to. “He’s not a tool you can play with as we planned.”
“I know that more than anyone. Dedushka put him as my guard at one point, remember?”
“Yes, I do. I also remember that you told me not to say his name again after he disappeared.”
“I’d still rather we didn’t talk about him.”
“That doesn’t make him disappear.”
“I can pretend to.”
“I don’t know what happened back then that you hold a grudge against him, but it’s different now that he’s Igor’s son.”
“Do you really believe that he’s Igor’s son?”
“You don’t?”
“I don’t know. It just feels fishy that he’s coming all in, to the extent of claiming familial ties. Why now, of all times?”
“If anyone can find out, it’s you.”
“Oh, you bet I will. He thinks he’ll get the all-access card by marrying me, but he doesn’t know that he’ll be poisoned in the process.”
“Keep your cards close.”
“You don’t have to remind the snake to be poisonous, my dear Vlad.”
“My name is not Vlad.”
“Whatever.”
He grunts out a response. “The Pakhan ordered me to get you all the financial reports from the four brigades.”
“Hello, Mikhail’s trouble.” I stare over my shoulder at Ruslan. “How much do you bet we will find something fishy in there?”
“A hundred,” he says in his somewhat sophisticated accent.
“That’s so little,” I tease him.
“Five hundred.” Katia places a tray of coffee in front of us and steps back to stand beside Ruslan.
I grin. “Now we’re talking. I will call you on that.”
Vlad takes a sip of his coffee. “You need to submit V Corp’s reports too.”
“To who?”
“To everyone. Sergei wants everything to be out in the open with this one.”
“Why now?”
“Adrian might have something to do with it. He stayed with him last.”
I lean my elbow on my knee and tap my chin with my forefinger. “You think he’s plotting something behind our backs?”
“Most likely. Remember, he only pushed Sergei up when he knew Ivan was dead and couldn’t be Pakhan. You need to be extra careful with that one.”
“Why? Did you hear something?”
He pauses with his cup halfway to his mouth. “Maybe.”
“What is it?”
“My spies tell me he had a meeting with Igor and Kyle prior to coming to today’s meeting.”
“Motherfucker.” I ball my hands into fists. If Kyle has Adrian by his side, I’m most definitely screwed. “If you knew that, why the hell did you vote for him to stay? Why did everyone? I just don’t understand why Dedushka favored him so much, and now even Sergei does.”
“Simple. He’s efficient. You can’t deny that during the times he was with us, no one dared to come near the brotherhood. They knew they would be sniped in their sleep by him.”
“He’s still a killer.”
“We all are.”
“We kill for necessity, to protect our honor and our own. He kills for sport and profit. People like him who follow no codes of honor and have no loyalty are the most untrustworthy.”
“No one trusts him. We’re all just using his skills.”
I pause at Vlad’s words, the meaning behind them sitting badly with me for some reason.
“Do you know why I’m a shadow, Princess? It’s because no one notices when I’m gone.”
I shake Kyle’s words away, refusing to allow them weight.
They do remain in my head, though.
They grow and magnify until they’re the only thing I can think of, because I did notice when he was gone.
I did more than notice.
It ripped me apart from the inside out, and I’m still not sure if the wound will ever heal.
Now, I have to marry him and dig the knife deeper with my own hands.
