“YOU ASKED WHY I SPENT A MONTH IN JAIL,” I say, picking my nails, my heart racing in my chest.
I’ve been pondering the idea of keeping the reason a secret for the rest of my life, but that would never work. Theo asks too many questions about my past. I’m scared that one day he’ll open his laptop and try to find information online. He knows my last name, and I let it slip at some point that I grew up in Thessaloniki. That’s all the information he needs to find out what I’m hiding. It would take one google search for many shameful articles to pop up on the screen, and then he’d be a few clicks away from translating Greek to English and finding out why I was in jail.
And when that happens, he might not forgive me for not telling him myself. At least now, I can hope he’ll understand why I held off so long.
I can hope that he won’t leave.
“I was charged with murder.”
Theo’s eyes grow wider, an incredulous confusion clouding his handsome face as his lips part ever so slightly. He’s silent, staring at me with unseeing eyes for a few long seconds before he forces a shaky breath past his lips. “You’re here, so the charges must’ve been dropped.”
I open a notebook I hid under the mattress in the guest bedroom since the day I moved in here. It’s filled with newspaper clippings—articles and pictures concerning the trial. I find the one that doesn’t mention my relation to Vasilis and use an app on my phone to snap a picture of the text and translate it from Greek to English, then pass Theo the phone.
Vasilis D. was found dead this morning at his house in Thessaloniki. The details surrounding his death are not yet available to the public. The officer attending the emergency call informed the press that the 34-year-old did not die of natural causes. An inside informer who prefers to stay anonymous told us that Mr. D. was found in a bathtub. The scene suggests a suicide, but he insisted that murder cannot be ruled out at this stage due to incriminating evidence secured by the police.
Theo looks up, eyebrows furrowed, and I’m pretty sure I know what question dances on the tip of his tongue. The same one any other person would want an answer to after reading this article. I can see it in his eyes, and I have an answer ready before the words leave his lips. My palms grow cold, and my heart beats faster, dreading what will happen next.
Theo should know this by now.
I should’ve told him about Vasilis early into our friendship, even without mentioning the murder trial. It would’ve been easier back then. The impact of the news wouldn’t have been as big when we were friends as it will be now that we’re dating.
Now that I’m in love with him, and he loves me too.
“Who was he?”
“He was the Mayor of Thessaloniki. He was young, but the whole country adored him and his vision.”
“Okay,” he says, growing impatient but fighting to stay calm. “Let’s try this a different way. Why were you charged with his murder?”
“Because…” I inhale a deep breath and brace for impact as if I’m back on the plane, ready to skydive, strapped to the instructor like we were a few weeks ago. Only this time, I’m jumping solo and without a parachute. “I was the one who called the police. He was my husband.”
Deafening silence fills my ears, and my blood runs cold.
“Your husband,” Theo echoes quietly, his voice strained as if the word is too hard to pronounce. For ten seconds, he’s not reacting, relatively unaffected by the confession, but then his body turns rigid, and hands fly to his head, clawing at his scalp. His composure snaps so fast I don’t catch when it happens. “You were married?!” he booms, scrambling to his feet. “And you didn’t think to fucking tell me?”
“Theo, please, let me—”
“You were married, Thalia! It’s not oh, I fucked a few guys before I met you no, this is I loved him so much I wanted to spend the rest of my fucking life with him! This is big! Fuck! You should’ve told me before we—”
“Before we ruined our friendship?” I finish for him, tears stinging my eyes, threatening to spill. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but the disdain in his voice cuts me with a scalpel’s precision. “Would it have changed anything?”
I didn’t expect him to quietly sit and listen, but the fire burning in his eyes and the sharpness of his voice are more sinister than any scenario of his reaction my brain conjured up. I squirm in my seat, fighting to stay in place, to let him shout and scream and process the news on his own terms before I explain further, but another thing I’ve not anticipated happens.
“It sure as fuck changes things now.” He flies across the room to retrieve his car keys from the hanger by the door.
“Theo, let me explain, I—” I’m up on my feet, chasing after him, but he opens the door and slams it behind him so hard the frame shakes. Ares leaps out of bed, yelping.
I break down into a sobbing mess at the sound of his car engine springing to life outside.
He’s gone.
He left like everyone else…
I slide down the wall, my mind creating endless scenarios of how I should’ve handled this conversation. I had the perfect opportunity to tell Theo I was married when he asked about my truth before the party. I could’ve made I was married for eleven days my truth that night. But I didn’t, and now he has a very vague idea of the truth. I wish he had stopped to listen. I wish he had let me explain that marrying Vasilis was the biggest mistake of my life. That it wasn’t even out of love.
I was infatuated with the idea of love.
In fact, I could’ve told Theo the truth even earlier. I could’ve told him the day we sat on the beach all day, and he asked about my life in Greece, but instead of the truth, I lied through my teeth, feeding him the bullshit story about The American Dream.
I should’ve told him about my parents when he asked. That I’ve not seen them in almost two years because, in their eyes, they don’t have a daughter. I stopped being their daughter when Vasilis was found dead in our bathtub.
Not just my life was ruined when Vasilis died. The murder charges ruined my parents’ lives too. Standing by my side during the trial would’ve been the equivalent of standing up to the entire nation. They abandoned me to save their good name and livelihoods, and now so did Theo.
Vasilis found a way to break me all over again, even from beyond the grave, all the way across the Atlantic, where I tried to start over, forget the past and find a way to live a happy, peaceful life. For a short while, I was happy. Happier than I’ve ever been before, but my life is not meant to be easy. It’s even meant to be difficult.
It’s meant to be unlivable.
My eyes flood with tears as I glare at the door Theo disappeared behind, willing him to come back and listen. I can’t stomach being alone right now.
I should’ve known my relationship with Theo wouldn’t last long. It was too perfect.
Curled into a ball on the floor, I cry like I’ve never cried before. Ares licks my face, then lays beside me, letting me cuddle into him, and he might just be the only reason my heart hasn’t shattered into tiny pieces.
