THIS SHOULDN’T BE SO NERVE-RACKING. I’m an adult. Telling my father I’m falling in love with an amazing man shouldn’t be scary.
I’ve never dated anyone as long as I’ve been dating Conor, and the guys I did spend time with weren’t worth mentioning to my dad. They were never serious. Stupid flings. Mostly physical.
Things are different with Conor.
Scarily different, considering we’ve only known each other two months, and I’m already so attached. The thought of losing him has every cell in my body on high-alert mode.
“Can we talk?” I ask, settling onto the couch.
Dad looks away from the TV, his eyes briefly scanning my face before he grabs the remote. I guess he senses this will be serious, or he wouldn’t switch off the game.
He sets his beer aside and straightens in the armchair, giving me his full attention.
“I think it’s time you met my boyfriend.”
A small nod is all the encouragement I get, but before I say more, Rebecca enters with Rose trailing close behind.
“Should we go for a walk?” Dad asks, subtly glancing at his wife like he’s asking if I mind her listening.
“No, we can stay.”
“What’s going on?” Rebecca comes closer, draping her jacket over the back of the couch. “Is everything okay? You look pale, Vivienne.”
“Everything’s fine. Can you sit?”
Her eyebrows bunch in the middle, but she plops down on the armrest, and Rose settles in beside me.
“So? Do we get to finally find out who this guy is?”
“Yes. I’d like you to meet him, but…” I force out a loud breath. “I’m afraid you’ll make him feel unwelcome, and I can’t have that. His family’s been nothing but kind to me since the start, and it’s not fair that he won’t get the same treatment from you.”
Dad sits higher in his chair. “Why would we make him feel unwelcome, Vivienne?”
I bite my cheek, squirming like a child outside the principal’s office. “Because you don’t like his father.”
A deafening silence falls around us, and the tension’s building so high my insides start knotting, and I think I understand why Mia pukes when she’s nervous. If this is how intense her nerves feel, I’m surprised she doesn’t puke more often because I’m not far off bolting to the toilet right now.
“I’m dating Conor Hayes,” I add quietly, making sure we’re on the same page.
A small, horrified sound escapes Rebecca’s lips. Her face whitening, marble eyes expressionless for a second before something I would’ve never expected takes over and my dad’s complexion blanches.
Okay, not the reaction I imagined. They look… scared.
“Hayes?” Dad echoes, the word like something rotten stuck to his tongue. “You’re dating a Hayes?!”
“Dad, I don’t know why you hate their father so much, but Conor’s not his dad. He’s great. He’s caring and kind, and… I’m in love with him.”
Dad jumps to his feet, pacing, almost tearing his hair out of his scalp. This isn’t how I thought this conversation would go.
I knew he’d be mad, sure, but not like this. I thought he’d yell or tell me the lies he’s fed himself for years, but this… He almost looks in pain. Like I stabbed him in the stomach and twisted the knife.
“You can’t date him,” he spits out, grinding his teeth. “You have to break up.”
“What? Dad, you’re overreacting. You know nothing—”
“Now!” he booms, balling his hands into fists. “Take your phone and tell him you’re done.” He shoves the phone in my hand. “Break it off.”
“I’m not doing that.” I jump to my feet, my head reeling.
I knew he wouldn’t be pleased, but this goes beyond any reaction I imagined. My heart rams against my ribs. The mere idea of losing Conor grips my throat. Not in the pleasant, arousing way he does. This feels like cold, wet, dead hands forcing the air from my lungs.
“I’m an adult, Dad. You won’t choose who I date! Why do you hate them so much? What did Robert do to you?”
He opens his mouth, but Rebecca shoots out of her seat, shaking her head, eyes brimming with tears, lips pinched together. She’s fighting her tears, but a distressed wail like a wounded animal breaks free, chilling me to the bone.
“Don’t,” she pleads, grabbing Dad’s hand. “Remember what you said. Remember what you promised. Please… we can’t.”
Now I’m even more confused.
“Fuck!” Dad snaps, grappling his hair with both hands, eyes fixed on the ceiling. “This isn’t fucking happening…”
I trade a loaded, confused look with Rose. I can’t think of a single reason Dad hates the Hayes so much. Whatever his problem with Robert, it shouldn’t bleed onto the rest of them. He never even met Conor. I doubt he met any of the brothers.
“I…” I start, taking a hasty step back. “I’ll let you calm down.”
“You’re not going back to him,” Dad snaps, stomping closer. The pained anger in his eyes takes me aback. “You have to break up. You can’t date him, Vivienne.”
I can’t remember the last time he used my full name. I’ve been Vee or his Angel for years. Vivienne sliding off his tongue sounds like an insult.
“While you live under my roof—”
I tune him out, my stomach lurching with the oncoming tears. That’s the last straw. A slap to the cheek.
Big fat fuck you for everything I’ve done and how good I’ve been all these years.
Dad never had any problems with me. No partying, getting drunk, or experimenting with drugs. No sneaking out in the middle of the night. No arguments or teenage rebellion.
I’ve been good. I helped, kept my head down, handed over most of my hard-earned money, and took care of Rose for years. I cooked, cleaned, and helped as much as possible since I was four.
I don’t blame Dad for never having much time for us, I’m not sad about my childhood, and I don’t consider it traumatic, but fuck…
This is what I get for being so fucking good? For putting Rose first? For bailing on my education?
No questions, no explanation, just break it off?
No.
Dad took it too far this time. Telling me not to stay out late or bring boys over is one thing, but saying I can’t date the man I love is entirely different.
He doesn’t have that kind of power over me.
No one does.
“Okay,” I whisper, my voice cracking, tears escaping my eyes as I back away. “Okay, I’ll move out.”
“No you won’t! You’ll stay right here.” Dad leaps forward to grab me, but I jump away, signaling with my hand I don’t want him any closer. “Vee…” he sighs, his shoulders sag, eyes pleading. “You can’t be with Conor, Angel. I’m sorry, I really am. You’ve been so happy the past few weeks, but… it’s wrong, baby girl. So wrong.”
“Why? Why is it wrong? I don’t care what your problem with Robert is. I don’t care what he did to you. Conor isn’t him. You can’t punish us for whatever happened years ago!”
“I’m not the one punishing you two,” Dad says, glancing at Rebecca.
I don’t know if he’s looking for support or checking something, but whatever he needs, he doesn’t get. She silently shakes her head, the gesture almost desperate.
“She has to know, Becca,” Dad says. “She has the right to know! It’s gone too fucking far, don’t you think?! They’ve been together for weeks!”
“Whose fault is that?!” she snaps, storming into him and poking his chest with her finger. “What kind of father doesn’t know who his daughter is dating?! You know nothing about her or Rose. You’re always working or watching TV!”
“Enough!” Rose yells, her voice sounding alien, high pitched, desperate, close to tears. She never could handle their arguments. “Why can’t she date him? You can’t break them up because you don’t like his father. Conor’s great! They all are.”
Rebecca turns ghostly white, her chin quivering, pure horror veiling her face as she turns to look at Rose. “You know them? You spent time with them?!”
“Ah, looks like I’m not the only one who doesn’t know what our daughters are getting up to,” Dad mocks, folding his arms. “None of this would’ve happened if they knew the truth, Becca.”
“No! You’ll regret it, Derek. Don’t tell them!”
“What else do you want me to do?! Cuff Vivienne to the fucking trailer? She’ll pack her bags, and she’ll go to Conor! It’s time, Becca. You knew it would come out one day. That day is today, whether you like it or not!”
“No… please, don’t tell them,” she begs. “If you love me—”
“Don’t tell us what?” Rose cuts in, a little ball of rage. “What the hell are you hiding? Tell us what’s happening! Whatever your problem with the Hayes is, it’s your problem, Dad.”
“This is so much bigger than you can imagine,” Rebecca says, her voice hitching as she looks at me, eyes beseeching. “Conor’s not the boy for you, Vivienne. I’m sorry. I really am, but you need to break up with him.”
I shake my head, my mind made. “I love you both, but this is my life. My choices. I won’t break up with him.” I spin on my heel, marching toward my room to pack a bag and stay with Abby until I figure out my next move, but Dad stops me.
“You can’t be with him,” he says, his voice defeated. He sounds like he’s about to cry, too, and I freeze in my tracks, never before having heard that desperate note in his voice.
“Why not, Dad? Give me one good reason.”
My heart cleaves in two when I see the defeat clouding his face, and then it turns to ash when he opens his mouth.
“He’s your family,” he whispers.
He’s not lying. I can tell it costs him everything to speak as he inhales a deep breath, his shoulders collapsing.
“He’s your brother, Angel.”
“My brother? How’s that—No.” I shake my head, my eyes popping, legs like goo. “No. No way. That’s not possible. He’s not my brother. You’re lying!”
“You think I’d lie about something like this?”
Shaking all over, my mind disconnects. The intersection gets choked. So many thoughts careering from all sides, slamming into each other, creating miles upon miles of wreckage. And in the heart of it all, he’s your brother booms like a church bell.
I can’t focus on a single thought.
I can’t find a link or any rational explanation. Every time I grasp something that makes sense, it eludes me. Erupts in a puff of smoke, leaving more question marks behind.
I—I…
I can’t think.
I can’t speak.
I can’t fucking hear anything other than the cacophony of horns inside my head, but I am moving.
My legs carry me, my surroundings nothing but a blur while my mind’s in riot mode, too many neurons firing at once…
