EIGHT.
That’s how many times Mia brushed her teeth before she let me kiss her. It was far from what I wanted. A tight-lip peck.
I’ve not let her out of my arms for one fucking second of the half hour we’ve been home. I bathed her, washed her hair, and almost doubled over when I noticed a shadow of a bruise forming on her face.
I dressed her, too, even despite her protests. She’s wearing my hoodie. The same one I wore last night when we sat in the garden, eating pizza. My heart squeezed tightly when she said she wanted it because it smells like me and calms her down.
She sits between my legs on the bed while I do a lousy job braiding her wet hair.
“He called me Cootie Mia in kindergarten,” she says, her voice detached, emotionless. “And four eyes in middle school because I wore very thick glasses.”
“He?” I part her hair in the middle for the third time, dividing it in three sections. “The guy who hurt you tonight?”
“His name’s Jake. He nicknamed me Blow Job Lips in high school. Pushed me, slingshot spitballs at me, tied me up, and locked me in the janitorial closet for hours.” She sighs softly, no longer shaking but still too tense. “Blair was his right-hand man. She cut up my clothes or stole them when I showered after Phys Ed. She stuck gum in my hair, threw food at me in the cafeteria, shoved me to my knees… It stopped at college. Jake’s father shipped him off to Brown, and Blair got busy with boys, but everything started again when I broke Brandon’s nose.”
“You’re being bullied?” I ask, the muscles in my back tensing painfully. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s not how you imagine,” she admits, her voice breaking like eggshells. “I’m sorry, I—” She gets up, taking a few steps away, and the braid I’ve been working on falls apart. “Don’t be mad at the triplets, okay? They didn’t know.”
“About what? Baby, I don’t want to push if you’re not ready to talk, but I need to know what happened. Johnny said the triplets started a fight.”
She bobs her head, toying with her bracelets. She hasn’t done that for a while, growing more confident as the weeks go by, but she’s afraid again, uncertain…
I hate seeing her like this. All the more because she’s been avoiding my gaze since I brought her home.
She drapes her damp hair over one shoulder, sinking her teeth in her bottom lip. “Conor hit Brandon, and soon enough, everyone was fighting. I think Grayson told them what Brandon did after the Spring Break party…”
“What did he do?”
She sits beside me. Her chin trembles and fresh tears pool in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would get out of hand like this. It was just a stupid game. I tried to deal with it myself. I didn’t want you to know.” She bites her lip, gouging her nails into my hand. “When college resumed, Brandon said I had to pay for the parties he missed because of his broken nose. He said I had to spend two weeks in his bed.” She’s pinching her rings, clearly afraid to look at me. “I said no, but he wasn’t getting the message, then Blair’s jealousy started getting out of hand.”
“What does Blair have to do with this?”
“She loves Brandon. Whenever he gets too close to me, she makes me pay. Coffee in my face, the pictures, my—” She halts, leaving the sentence unfinished. “The point is—”
“Not so fast,” I cut in. “Finish what you were going to say. What else did Blair do?”
Another tear rolls down her cheek, and she swats it away, inhaling deeply. “Brandon stopped by one of my classes, and Blair got jealous. She wallpapered the wall outside the auditorium with pictures of me naked in pornstar poses. They weren’t real, just my face photoshopped onto actual porn, but everyone laughed and…” She pushes a long, calming breath down her nose. “I got nauseous, ran into the bathroom, and the next thing I knew, my hair was on fire.”
“She burned your hair?” My pulse throbs in my fingertips, a biblical kind of fury sweeping me from head to toe. “You said it was candles! Why did you lie?”
Seeing her so scared and vulnerable guts me like a fucking fish, and knowing she’s afraid of my reaction makes it ten times worse. She’s shaking, quiet defeat painting her face.
“Mia… there’s more, right? What else are you hiding?”
“He offered money,” she blurts out, pinching her lips and wiping more tears off her nose. “Brandon. Five grand for the first one of his teammates who gets me in bed.”
A few long, silent seconds pass while I make sense of what she said. Once it sinks, I can’t fucking sit still.
“Jesus,” I huff, jumping to my feet, feeling like a loaded gun that’s unsure where to aim. I’m fighting not to let my colors shine, but my temper is uncontainable. I see red. Literally red. Anger has always been my primary addiction. Now, it spreads like the vibration of a church bell as the next sentence gets pushed past my clenched teeth. “Did anyone try to win?”
She nods, tearing her cuticles off. “Brandon kept it clean for a while. Five grand, just the football team… I think they had to have consent, but all bets are off now. It’s twenty-five grand, and the whole campus knows.”
“Is this why the triplets were teaching you self-defense? They know about this?”
“No! Of course, not. They only found out tonight. The lessons were because of Brandon. He’s been trying to get me in bed for a long time. They did come in handy, though. Only twice. Most guys are decent. It’s not about the money for them. They just want to stick it in Brandon’s face.”
“It sure was about money to that fucker tonight,” I snap, then ball my fists, shepherding my temper. “Jesus, Mia! You should’ve fucking told me! Why didn’t you say anything?!”
“I didn’t want you to think you were right.”
“Right? Right about what?”
“About not dating college girls,” she whispers, wiping her face. “I didn’t want you to wonder if you made a mistake.”
Now I’m sick to my stomach, ready to double over and throw up. The defeat tainting Mia’s pretty face, how she mindlessly toys with her rings, the tears, how she trembles… it has nothing to do with what happened tonight.
She’s afraid she’ll lose me.
I crouch before her, curling my fingers under her chin. “You think you’re on a probation period?”
She wipes her cheeks, sniffling pathetically. “You told me what your girl is supposed to be like.” She meets my eyes, no longer trying to keep the tears in. “I tried to be her.”
“Her?” The veins on my neck pulse, and my jaw works tight circles. “What are you talking about?”
“Courageous, adventurous, confident…” she lists quietly. “That’s what you want, but that’s not me. I’m none of those things.”
“Mia—”
“I tried, Nico,” she continues, not letting me cut in. “I tried to be the woman you want, but I’m not her.”
“You are. Your only problem is your self-esteem’s so fucking low. You don’t believe in yourself.”
“I’m none of the things you want. I’m not brave or—”
“You are. You just don’t see it. Mia, you jumped out of a plane with me. That takes a hell of a lot of courage, especially for someone afraid of flying.”
I grab her waist, haul her into my arms and sit back on the bed, maneuvering her until she straddles me.
“You’re confident, baby. You don’t shout, you’re not aggressive or rude, but you’ve put me in my place more times than I can count. And you’re the most adventurous person I know. I push you out of your comfort zone in bed, and you enjoy it.” I take her teary face in my hands, wiping her cheeks with my thumbs. “You’re all I ever wanted.”
She sighs, resigned to whatever lie she fed herself. “You were right that day in the cab. All I bring is trouble, Nico. Trouble and drama, and everything you don’t need. I don’t have anything good to offer. I don’t complete you the way you complete me.”
She has no fucking clue…
I had no idea I was living in a box until she came along, full of everything I didn’t know I needed, and let me out.
“You make me a better man, Mia. You calm me down, tame my fucked-up personality, and show me that life’s not just about work.” I pull her into my chest, wrapping my arms around her. “You’re not self-sufficient, baby, but that’s why we work so well. You want your man to be a man. You want me to take care of you, and that’s exactly what I want to do.” I stroke her hair, kissing the side of her head. “I’m sorry I made you feel you had to change. You don’t. You’re perfect.”
“I’m too young. Don’t deny it, Nico. You said I can’t talk about college, like you’re trying to forget I’m ten years younger.”
I push her away enough to see her face. “You’re right. I hate that you’re so young, but only because I need to take things slow. You’re nineteen, Mia. I have to stop myself making plans you’re not ready for yet. You need to finish college. You need to have fun so you won’t have any regrets.”
There’s something disturbing about our relationship. We’ve not been dating long, but I feel it in my bones that she’s it. I love everything about her. Despite spending seven months with Kaya, the feelings can’t compare.
I can easily picture Mia in my future in a beautiful white dress with a ring on her finger. I never thought about the future with Kaya, but Mia’s so deep under my skin I can’t shake her. I can’t cap my feelings, and I don’t fucking want to. I’m twenty-nine. I’ve met enough women to know Mia’s the one.
She sniffles softly, her green eyes dull. “What Jake did… I can’t take that back, Nico. Once I tell you—”
“Nothing will change. You’re mine,” I emphasize, holding her face so she can’t look away. “Do you understand? I love you, baby. I’ll always want you.” I close the distance between our lips, slipping my tongue inside her warm, sweet mouth.
She stills but doesn’t push me away. Her trembling fingers weave into my hair, and in a heartbeat, she melts against me the way she always does, like she’s feeding off my dominance to calm down.
“I love you more.” She breaks the kiss long enough to say it, then resumes the slow tempo of our lips working together, every tease of her tongue and touch of her fingers designed to show how much she cares.
I flip her over, covering her frail body. She’s locked between my arms, her moves limited the way she loves most. She told me she never felt safer than that day I held her immobile while teaching her self-defense.
“Mine,” I say in her mouth. “Always mine, baby. Say it.”
Another one of my favorite barely-a-suggestion kind of smiles blooms across her lips. Tears no longer well in her eyes and the tightness clutching my chest ebbs away.
She’ll be okay.
She can’t see it, but Cody was right last year. She is a tough one. Regardless how much hurt is thrown her way, she’s still smiling. Still trying to find happiness.
“Use your words, Mia. Tell me you’re mine.”
“Always yours.”
“Good girl. Never doubt me. Never lie to me, and never hide things from me again. Promise.”
She lifts her hand to caress my face: a move I’ve grown fucking addicted to. The cautious tenderness she radiates drugs my entire structure.
“I promise.”
We both damn near jump out of our skin when someone knocks on the door at the bottom of the staircase.
Shouting come in would be useless since the space is soundproof, so I peck Mia’s nose and get up, jogging down to check who wants in.
Logan’s there, arms crossed over his chest, eyes betraying he’s on edge. “Shawn’s here.”
And I’m suddenly on edge, too. Mia hasn’t told me what Jake did, but while I cleaned and dressed her, I had time to think it through ten times over. There’s really only one explanation. One I desperately don’t want Shawn to confirm.
“Yeah, okay. Tell him we’ll be down in a minute. Are the triplets back?”
“Nah, not yet. We tried calling, but their phones are off. How’s Mia doing?”
“Better than you’d expect.” I step down the last step, closing the door behind me, so she won’t hear me. “I’ll need you and Theo tonight.”
He bobs his head, the unspoken promise of a fight jolting him with restless energy I know too well. “Anything. You know we’ve got you, but the guy’s detained, Nico. We can’t fuck him up.”
“It’s not Jake we’ll be visiting. There’s a twenty-five grand prize for Mia at college. First guy to fuck her wins.”
A look of menacing bewilderment crosses his face, two vertical lines creasing his forehead. “Shit, what the hell is wrong with people? You know who set the prize?”
“Brandon Price. I need you to come with me and keep me from killing the kid.”
“Yeah, okay, I’ll tell Theo.” He grips my arm, keeping me in place as I turn to get Mia. “There’s something you should know…” He steps from one foot to the other, squeezing the bridge of his nose. “That fucker recorded everything he did in that restroom. Shawn has the video, but from what he said, I don’t think you should watch it.”
I definitely shouldn’t.
The mouthful of flesh on the floor and Jake’s purple, bleeding cock paint the picture, but I don’t have a choice.
If I can, I have to see it.
Mia’s more concerned about us than what went down tonight, but the trauma’s there. It’ll hit her when she least expects it. If I have any hope of helping her, I need to know exactly what happened.
“I’ll get Mia,” I tell Logan, leaving him as I jog up the stairs.
But when I look at the bed, she’s asleep, curled into a ball on the California-King bed, wrapped tightly in my hoodie.
No way I’ll wake her up. Adrenaline must’ve worn off, and her system came crashing if she fell asleep so fast without my arms around her. I was only gone three minutes. She needs to rest, recharge, and then start processing this nightmare.
Shawn has the clip. He knows what happened, and if he still needs Mia’s statement, he’ll have to wait. For just one short minute, I think about asking him to come back tomorrow, so I can crawl beside Mia, but I need to know what went down.
Putting it off won’t do me any good.
I kiss Mia’s head, pull the comforter up to her chin, and switch on the galaxy projector I bought after the first night she spent here.
