Gabe walks me to North’s offices, but I make him leave me in the elevator so that I can go up to see North by myself. Gryphon had checked in with me when he and Nox arrived back at the house just before Gabe, Atlas, and I had gone to sleep. He’d been the one to break it to me that North was sleeping in his office again.
North’s words down in the cells when he’d walked away from me still echo in my head. I don’t want him to think that I am trying to ambush him now with Gabe, so I send my Shifter Bonded home with a kiss.
I still can’t believe I had jumped into his head overnight and met his dragon.
The possibility that my bond had done something to his when it’d demanded he shift into something bigger is terrifying to me. We already have three bonds with the potential to make their own personal brands of trouble. We can’t really afford to have another. I can’t stop thinking about the way that Gabe’s eyes had shifted to amber when we were together, and the way that his hands had changed from the consistent and desperate sort of touch to the branding demand.
I’ve been with North and his bond enough to know the shift between man and god.
What had happened with Gabe cut a little too close for comfort.
It’s something I need to speak to Nox about. His research parameters need to be widened a little more because… well, he’s looking for ‘born’ gods.
What about ‘made’ gods?
All of this just brings up more questions. Where did the gods come from? And how were they made? Because if Gabe has been changed, then what’s to stop it from happening again? What’s to stop the Resistance finding out about it and finding a way to shift some of their own as well?
There’s also the chance that they already know. They knew enough to have the breeding programs that have been going on for generations now, at least two, because the Dravens’ had been messed with, and there is the potential that Atlas’ parents had been selected rather than found with the blood tests.
The fact that the Bassingers just went along with the Resistance’s plan of abandoning who they were supposed to Bond with and ‘selectively breeding’ astounds me. The idea of building a life with someone who wasn’t part of my Bonded Group makes me feel sick to my stomach.
I’d literally rather die.
When the elevator doors finally open up to the office, I find it dark, only the glow of North’s television illuminating the room. It’s playing the news, a non-Gifted woman is talking, though the sound has been muted. She’s standing in front of a grocery store that has been torn in half by either a hurricane or a very powerful Gifted. I know what my money is on.
There’s papers and boxes of files strewn everywhere, piles of books next to the couch that Nox usually sleeps on, and the clutter of a man refusing to leave everywhere.
I carefully make my way over to the desk where North is sleeping, his head slumped down onto the flat surface, and I’m grateful to see August sitting at his side.
At least he hasn’t been alone here.
There’s also a part of me that feels relief that he is finally trusting his shadows enough to have them watch over him while he gets some rest. I know that only a few short weeks ago, North wouldn’t even trust them in my presence while he was awake. Me, his Bonded, who tamed all of the shadow creatures the moment I’d laid eyes on them.
Even Nox’s snarling, savagely perfect pups had loved me right away.
I stroke a hand over August’s head and let him give me a quick sniff as he checks in with me, his bottomless eyes shining at me like a thousand stars in the inky black void. It’s impossible to describe what the shadow creatures really look like or how they shine when every part of them is blackness, but they do, and they’re even brighter for me.
I press my face against his and coo at him affectionately until some of the tension leaves his body. He knows that I’m here to help North however I can, that finally the distance that he’s demanded between us is going to be bridged.
However I can possibly make that happen.
I move aside some of the papers on the desk and then slowly ease myself up onto it, careful not to disturb North until I can wrap myself around him a little more securely. It would be much easier if he’d have gone to sleep on the sofa. I could have just crawled up there with him, but, as always, he is determined to work himself to death. Quite literally, right now.
I stroke my hands down his back, feeling the tension in his muscles that isn’t just from holding this position. He doesn’t immediately wake, but his body knows mine as surely as I know his, and he leans into me, breathing in deeply as he slowly awakens.
“What are you doing here, Bonded?” he murmurs, his voice a little broken and dry. When he lifts his head, his eyes are bloodshot with exhaustion and probably a little bit of a hangover too.
I scowl at him and mumble back quietly, “No more drinking.”
I don’t mention the theory that Nox and I share about now being the perfect time for the Resistance to come after us, especially if North is down for the count. I also don’t mention that it breaks my heart to see him this way, but this man always did know the innermost workings of my mind, even long before we had Bonded, and he groans as his forehead hits my thigh.
He’s slumped over once more and looking miserable. The words that tumble out of his mouth sound as though they’re being torn directly from the darkest depths of his heart. “Feeling your soul leave your body was the most painful thing I have ever felt, and I didn’t think that was possible after I just watched Nox die.”
It’s hard for him to talk like this, even though he’s refusing to meet my eye, so I bury both of my hands into the silky locks of his hair, massaging his skull until he groans again, this time in the sort of pleasure that borders on pain.
He’s done so much for us all, he deserves better than this. Better than anything I could ever give him, but I try anyway.
“I’m not going to apologize for saving him, the same way I’m not going to apologize for saving you if it comes to it. We’re all getting out of this alive, North, no matter what it costs me. I’d give my life for my Bonded without hesitation.”
He doesn’t answer me or react to my words at all, his head still resting on my knee as I scratch up his scalp and attempt to calm him wordlessly. I’m not going to sugarcoat it though. I’m not going to try and lie to this man about what the future holds for us all. Lord knows, it’s not going to be easy for us.
I can give him time though.
I lean forward to speak softly to him. “You’ve been the strong one for all of us from the very beginning. No one is going to think badly of you or begrudge you for taking a few days to recover from what happened. Nox and I are both fine.”
He groans again and rubs his face against my thighs. “I’m going to judge me for this just as soon as I’m sober again.”
I want to tell him to stay drunk for a day or two longer, just because I know that nothing that I say will stop him from hating himself for all of this, but Nox’s conversation with me still rings in my ears. I’d promised him that I’d change things up.
I’m not going to break that.
“We have to get on the offensive, North. No more letting them corner us into traps. No more walking into our own deaths. No more taking the safe route. We’re going to take the fight to them, and we’ll do it together. All of us.”
He’s silent for a moment and then he lifts his head, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I guess I better catch a shower then, shouldn’t I? We’ll need to find Gryphon and make a real plan.”
I press my hands onto either side of his face, leaning down to murmur to him, “I love you, and I’m not going anywhere. You’ve had your moment to get your head around this, and now we’re going to figure it out.”
He takes one last steadying breath and then cups my face in both of his hands, tilting my head until I’m looking into his eyes and trying not to cry at the desolate look there.
“I cannot live without you, Oleander. I won’t. I thought Nox dying was the worst thing that could’ve happened and then your heart stopped beating, and I knew that I couldn’t go on without you at my side. I love you too much to do that. It was only my bond keeping me from going after you.”
Going after me.
As in… “North, don’t talk like that. I’m never going to leave you, we’re all going to be okay. My bond just proved that. Death can’t part a Soul Render from her Death Dealers. Or any of my other Bonded, no matter what.”
I say it with a smile, but it’s true.
No matter what, they’re mine forever.
The problem with going straight into a meeting with Gryphon and the higher-ups at the Tac Training Center about what our next moves are is that his parents are still in town. So we once again find ourselves sitting across from the General.
He is determined to pick holes in our plans.
“Three of your Bonded Group haven’t even gone through formal TacTraining yet. It is incredibly dangerous, not to mention stupid, to even consider taking them. You can’t just skate by relying on your Gifts during active combat.”
“I feel like we can rely on our Gifts, considering what they are,” I mutter to Gryphon, leaning into the solid wall of his chest where he’s sitting next to me.
I’m no longer attempting to rein in my snarky self around this man, because he isn’t attempting to play nicely with anyone I love, not even his own damned son. Vivian shoots me a look from across the table. I give him the most innocent eyes that I can muster back, but he knows me well enough to not be fooled.
Bonding has changed exactly none of my mouthy nature.
Ever the neutral force, Vivian chimes in with his own answer to me, the only person who can give me that tone of paternal disapproval without me wanting to unleash my bond on them. “Your powers don’t work in bringing back hostages, Fallows. That is an important part of what we do. Killing indiscriminately isn’t what we want to be known for.”
I nod along and fight the urge to let Brutus down from my ear as visual proof, instead using my words because Vivian is worth it. “You know that I have two shadow pups with me at all times. They obey my every order, just as well as they obey my Bonded. If I really needed someone brought in, I’m sure I could get Brutus or August to convince them politely to surrender.”
Vivian rolls his eyes at me with just a little bit of affection showing through, enough that it doesn’t piss off any of the men sitting on my side of the table, but it also placates the General, who really thinks I’m getting scolded.
It doesn’t stop him from running his mouth though. “The shadow creatures shouldn’t even be allowed out. Uncontrollable, rabid beings should not—“
I have to interrupt him before my bond wakes up and makes this everybody’s problem. “They’re not though, are they? One incident that happened fifteen years ago, does not mean that my Bonded’s shadow creatures are uncontrolled. Have there been any cases of them killing someone they shouldn’t have? Or is this all about prejudice?”
The General’s eyes narrow at me, and I fight the urge to smirk at him just to really get his blood boiling. “Everybody knows North has trouble controlling his. Nox has never even attempted to stop his beasts from terrorizing anyone who dares to go near him. Why should we give them the benefit of the doubt?”
I already know why both of those things had happened, and I feel overly protective about them both.
“If anyone in this room has an uncontrolled, dangerous Gift, it’s me. You should be warned that I don’t like you talking about them like that,” I say in a very slow, careful voice.
Gryphon crosses his arms over his chest as he stares at his father. He doesn’t try to interrupt any of our arguing, but the way that he stares the General down is pretty telling about whose side he’s on here.
I think that infuriates his father more than anything being said.
“We should get back to what we’re really here to discuss, and that is your opinion on which one of the Wastelands needs to be taken care of first. If you don’t have anything helpful to give us here as input, then we’ll end this meeting now.”
The General glances over at Vivian, but when he doesn’t get any backup from him, he waves a dismissive hand at North. “Leave then. I have nothing to say to any of you. I’ll take the prisoners and get back on the road.”
North smiles and leans back in his chair, the picture of an arrogant councilman. There’s no sign of the hangover or anguish anymore. He’d gotten out of the shower at his office and looks his usual, put-together self in his freshly pressed suit, as though he had wiped away the entire week with nothing but some soap and expensive shampoo.
“You won’t be taking any of the prisoners anywhere. Certainly not the Bassinger girl and her Bonded.”
My heart clenches in my chest on Atlas’ behalf.
North and Gryphon had both agreed to keep her alive and in the cells until Atlas figures out for himself what he wants to do with her.
I’m not sure how any of this really works, but it looks as though the General is attempting to take that decision out of our hands, and I really don’t want that to happen.
“You don’t have the authority to tell me whether or not I can take prisoners, Councilman Draven,” the General says, mockingly dragging out the words, but North doesn’t react to the disrespect.
That same cold smile is still firmly sitting across his lips.
The General’s own lips curl up into a sneer. “You might think that you’re the only person who can make decisions, but there’s an entire council of families, and your vote is just one.”
North shrugs and glances over to Nox, sharing a look with him before he turns back to the General. It’s a move clearly designed to piss the man off, and it works like a charm.
His hands clench into fists on the table before him.
I don’t know how he got so far up in the TacTeam ranks if he’s this quick to anger, nothing at all like the infallible calm of his son.
“I think you’ll find that they are my prisoners, held in the cells underneath my Tac Training Center, in my town. They were put there by my TacTeam after they were found by, you guessed it, my Bonded.”
The room goes silent.
Not once has North ever thrown his weight around or used his immeasurable wealth against anyone that I’ve seen. He would never, and definitely not in front of the very people he’s helping, free of charge. He’s done everything he can to make people feel welcome and like part of a community in the Sanctuary. It’s never felt as though it was his place that we were all just staying on. The fact that he’s doing it now to protect his word to someone in our Bonded Group, with all of the support of both Gryphon and Nox, is all I need to know about the integrity of my Bonded.
There had never been a question in my mind in the first place.
The General’s cheek clenches as he once again glances at Vivian, but the older man just shrugs. “What do you want me to do about it, Shore? It’s not like he’s lying. If push came to shove, he would still win the vote of the Council, considering more than six of the families sitting on it are housed here. Currently, none of them are working or paying their own way, either. Hell, Hannity just sits in his house and weeps half of the time at losing his yacht in the move over here. The man’s an idiot, but he wouldn’t side against the Dravens. The families that would are all under suspicion, thanks to Giovanna and what little information we’ve gotten out of her. Did you know the entire lake house district is Resistance sympathizers? That includes some of the non-Gifted families that own property out there as well. All of them with their own motives for wanting the Resistance to win, dumb as fucking rocks.”
He’s not wrong about that.
It doesn’t seem very wise to side with people who want to rule over you with their abilities, but greed and power do stupid things to people.
When I mumble that under my breath, the General looks up at me with unadulterated hatred in his eyes, enough that Nox leans forward in his seat and dark rings appear around his irises.
The General takes no notice of him as he snaps back at me, “Your Bonded isn’t any better. He’s taking the choices away from people with nothing but the dollar amount that doing so costs him. Sounds like we’re just as bad as the Resistance now.”
I only have to look at North to know that he is wrong, but not even the General’s relationship with Gryphon is enough to change my opinion on this man.
He’s nothing but an obstacle in our way to defeating the Resistance.
