“I know I’ve said this before, but thank you.” Mom’s soft voice is like balm to my aching heart. I can’t help but cling to it as I unpack my bag.
“There’s no need to thank me, Mom. You’ve been there for me too many times to count. Of course I’d come and help you.”
I’m putting a pack of nightshirts into a drawer when Mom’s hand stops me. “Anaya, where are your things?”
“What do you mean? These are my things.” Unable to look her in the eyes, I keep unloading my stuff and shoving it into drawers, hoping she’ll drop it. I really don’t want to talk about my dumpster fire of a life, and I don’t want to tell her I belonged in one of those People of Walmart books, walking into the store in just a damn robe and a bag.
“None of these items have been worn, Anaya. These are all new. Even the toothbrush. It’s still in its original packaging.” She picks it up and waves it in my face, the bright blue encasing taunting me with the truth.
I ignore her, snatching the offending toothbrush before I shove it into the nightstand—as if placing it out of sight will make it any less obvious that all of this is new.
Not wanting to address the elephant in the room, I continue with my task. One by one I hang up the sun dresses I’d purchased, not once lifting my gaze from the fabric.
Just when I thought I was in the clear, Mom hisses my name. “Anaya Marie. Sit and start talking.”
Her command has me halting my movements and finally looking up. With a deep sigh, I let my eyes focus on the skin bunching between her brows and let her in on a little of the truth. “When you called, I was sort of in the middle of something. I couldn’t go home to get stuff, so I just stopped by Walmart and picked up essentials. No big deal.”
There. That wasn’t an outright lie. Just a little omission.
Mom raises a brow and sits on the edge of the bed, patting the spot right next to her. “Child. I’m your mother. I know when you’re hiding something. And you know I’m not letting this go until you’ve told me what’s really going on, right?”
I huff my way to the bed, groaning as I plop down next to her. I know she’s right. She’s like a dog with a bone. The sooner I spit this out, the faster she’ll drop it. “I caught Ray cheating. I’d just walked out of the house after finding out… and I couldn’t bring myself to go back. Not for all the money in the world.” My lip wobbles and voice cracks as I bring my hands to my face. “I couldn’t do it, Momma. I just couldn’t.”
“Oh, Anaya.” Her arms wrap around me, trying to squeeze my pain away. But she can’t. Nobody can.
This ache lives deep inside me and I don’t know how I’ll get rid of it. Sobbing into her chest, I let her soothing embrace pull the words that are carved into my soul. “I’m so stupid, Momma. How didn’t I see? How was I so blind?”
“Don’t. Do not blame yourself for something that wasn’t under your control. You can’t control another person’s actions. What he did, that’s his cross to bear.” She pulls away, her hands finding my face as her eyes search mine. “The only thing you need to do is worry about what you’re going to do now that you know who he really is… a weak and foolish man. Only a foolish man would cheat on my beautiful daughter.”
A small smile plays on her lips as her thumbs wipe away my tears. “Well, whatever I do, I’m not going back.”
She gives me a sad smile and I know I won’t like what she says next. “We can’t run away from our problems, sweetie. You don’t have to get back with him, but you will have to face him at some point. Even if it’s just to pick up your stuff and officially end things.”
Sniffling, I give her a small nod. “Okay. But I don’t have to do that right this second, so how about you fill me in on whatever’s going on here. Tell me about the kids I’ll be watching.” She seems unsure, and that won’t do. I know if we keep talking about me, I’ll just melt into a useless puddle. “Please, Mom. I can’t talk about me right now.”
Mom nods, her face going from sad to sadder, if that’s even possible. “You already know Mr. Crown.”
“Yes, of course. He’s always been so kind. I’ve been here every summer for the past four years and I’ve never had a negative thing to say about him.”
She nods, but her somber expression doesn’t lift. “He has four brothers. One of them had two small children and a stepdaughter. Well that brother, Austin, was in Mexico with his wife and kids when they were all kidnapped, but only the children survived.”
My mouth is hanging wide open as I take this all in. Who would do this to them?
“Yes. I know. It’s tragic.” Mom continues as if I’d vocalized my thoughts. “And if all that wasn’t enough trauma for those poor kids, they go and get kidnapped again!”
Gasping, I reach for her shoulders. “Oh my god! Tell me they’re okay.”
“The eldest is still missing, but they found the two younger kids in an abandoned church.” She presses the pads of her fingers to her lips. “That’s where Jack is right now. He’s with the children and the social worker. Last I’d heard, they’d be arriving home sometime this evening.”
I’m staring at her wide eyed and in shock. “How is this real life? How does this happen?”
“That’s something you’ll have to ask Mr. Crown. I’m just the house manager.” She smooths down the fabric across her lap even though there isn’t a wrinkle to be seen. “You should’ve seen him, Anaya. The man went absolutely mad when they took those kids.” Her voice cracks and eyes water. I know she’s putting on a front, but it’s clear as day she was worried too.
“So, where is the eldest? The stepdaughter?”
Her glassy eyes meet mine and she nods. “That’s why Mr. Crown asked you to come help with the kids. They’re still searching for her and he’s going to need all the help he can get with Amanda and Alex.”
I’m still trying to process everything she’s said when her latest words sink in. “Hold on. I don’t have any real childcare experience other than watching Doña Flora’s daughter growing up. Why me? Why did he ask for me?”
“The family has been through so much. They don’t trust any outsiders, and to be honest, I wouldn’t either. So, even though you aren’t a professional nanny, Mr. Crown pleaded you come help with the kids. He knows you and knows you come from honest stock.” Mom pats my hand and smiles, knowing full well she’s the stock he’s referring to. “He trusts you, and that alone is worth more than any world-acclaimed nanny ever could.”
“Makes sense. I’d be weary of outsiders too if I were him.”
“Yes, it’s one less thing to worry about. The kids have their own security detail, but they aren’t nanny material. Those children need love and warmth. Something I’m sure you’ll give to them in spades.”
“Of course. You know I will.”
Mom nods. “Good. Those kids already lost their parents, and now with the possibility of losing Pen too, I’m not sure they’ll survive it.” She shakes her head as if clearing it of any negative thoughts. “But anyway, Jack won’t stop searching until he finds Austin’s stepdaughter. In the meantime though, we’ll need to help them deal with her absence. They’re bound to have big emotions, and rightfully so.”
I feel my brows furrow. “Surely Mr. Crown could afford a therapist for the two.”
Mom’s face goes stark white. “No therapists.” She clears her throat and her face regains a little bit of its color. “Their last therapist was the one who helped in their kidnapping. It’s no surprise Mr. Crown isn’t champing at the bit to find them a new one.”
“Wow. You weren’t kidding about not trusting outsiders. Alright then. No therapists for now.” I roll in my lips and give her a jerky nod. “How old are they?”
“Alex is nine and Amanda is five. Amanda is a sweetheart and Alex is a little old man trapped in a kid’s body.” She chuckles while pressing a hand to her chest. “They’re wonderful kids. All of them. They’re full of so much love, even after all that they’ve been through. Jack has to find Pen. He just has to.”
“He will. We have to keep the faith.” I bring my hands to her face, and now it’s my turn to wipe away her tears. “How about you help me finish unpacking and then we can make some of your famous hot chocolate so we can have it ready for the kids. It’s the only thing that ever made my world right when I was little.”
“Yes. That’s a good idea, baby. I’m so glad you’re here. I have a feeling you’re going to be good for this family.”
I smile and hope she’s right, because with all my inner turmoil, I’ll just be thankful if I don’t end up bringing more drama to their doorstep.
“STOP FIDGETING, Anaya. They’re going to love you.” Mom raises a brow, knowing full well what’s going on in my head.
We’re both standing by the front door and the sheer opulence of the room is enough to make me feel inadequate. Yes, it’s a modern farmhouse, but the casual nature of the style doesn’t mean they spared any expense.
This home really is lovely, and the foyer we’re standing in is grand, with double doors leading out to a large wraparound deck complete with rocking chairs. It’s the type of home you see in movies, where you’d expect a happily ever after.
The irony is real. This home has seen anything but happy as of late.
The kids will be here any minute with the Crown brothers… Well, all except for Austin. My stomach goes in knots at the thought. I’d never met the middle Crown brother, but just thinking of the way he left this earth turns me inside out.
I’m about to pry Mom for more details when the rumble of an SUV pulls my attention to the door. Thanks to the wall of windows, I can see the sadness pouring out of the large vehicle.
One by one, a parade of somber men unloads—each one as handsome as the last. Jesus. What do they put in the water here?
The men are all well over six feet and as broad as a wall. Oof. My lady bits clench, thinking of the poor mother who birthed them.
Jack finally steps out, the only man I recognize, his frame and stature so similar to that of the others before him. He stops to open the back door and two seconds later, a little girl with blond pigtails pops out looking so damn sad.
I’m so focused on her, I almost miss the little boy. He too has a matching sadness that’s palpable even from where I stand.
“God,” Mom whispers beside me, urging me to grab hold of her hand and squeeze.
“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay,” I utter the words and I pray that my speaking them out loud brings them to fruition. No child deserves this much tragedy in their lives.
The door swings open and all eyes fall on us.
“Gamma Mary!” The two children run toward my mom, the relief in their voice resonating deep within me. It must be a small semblance of normalcy, seeing her.
“Hey kiddos.” She crouches down, pulling both into an embrace. “Guess what? I have someone special here to meet you.”
Both faces blink up at her before they turn to look at me, apprehension heavy in their eyes.
“Hi.” I give them a small wave as I too crouch down to their level. “My name is Anaya. Mary is my mom.”
This revelation brings a smile to their face, and they excitedly turn back to Jack. “Is that true, Uncle Jack?”
He chuckles, “Yes, but that’s something you should ask Mary, not me. All this time, I thought Anaya was Mary’s granddaughter, not her daughter. It wasn’t until recently that they’d both set me straight.” Jack rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly, only continuing after he’s let out a long breath. “Aside from that, I can tell you I know Anaya personally. She’s been coming here for the past four summers, and this year she’s agreed to come spend it with you two.”
At this news, the kids’ eyes go wide. Alex grabs a hold of Amanda’s hand and pulls her toward him in a protective stance. Oh boy. I have my work cut out for me when it comes to earning their trust, but really, I wouldn’t have expected any different.
“Do you have any questions for me?” I smile wide, letting them know I’m happy to spend my time with them.
Alex gives me a curt nod. “Can you play Minecraft?”
And just like that, the room erupts into laughter. Here I was expecting him to grill me on my credentials, but like a true nine-year-old, he asks about a video game. Ray might be a massive shithead, but at least I learned a lot about gaming from him.
“Yes. I sure can.” Standing up, I outstretch both hands. “How about you two come help with dinner and then, when we’re done, we’ll have some of Mom’s hot chocolate while we play.”
Their faces light up as soon as the words hot chocolate come out of my mouth and their tiny hands slip into mine.
I know I should probably stick around for introductions with the other brothers, but I can see that these kids are hanging on by a very thin emotional thread. If my bypassing formalities will help them settle back into their home, then I can deal with being perceived as rude. They’re the reason I was brought here, and keeping them happy and sane is my priority.
With a smile and a nod to the other brothers, I head toward the kitchen with my new charges, excited to see how they take to being my little sous chefs.
