Alexander’s POV
I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I couldn’t sleep. I was exhausted, but I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t stop the thoughts that were eating at my soul.
Would I ever get to hug my parents again? Would something terrible happen to them? How strong was my mom now? Could she hurt my dad? What would happen to my mom when she realized that she hurt her mate? What if I lost both of them? How the fuck would I survive losing my entire family?
I closed my eyes and tried to take a deep breath. It was impossible, though. My chest was being squished by so many emotions and I couldn’t breathe normally. The air was barely entering my lungs and my whole body hurt due to the lack of air.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and turned to my side. I grabbed one of the pillows that were on my bed and held it close to me. I buried my nose in it, hoping that the softness and the scent of the pillow would somehow soothe me. My pillow always smelled the same. My mom always used the same fabric softener and the scent reminded me of her. It reminded me of simpler times. It reminded me of my childhood and how my biggest concern was if my mom would create four or five clouds over my bed. I liked five better. There was more lightning if she created five clouds.
I forced the scent into my lungs and breathed out slowly. It soothed me a little, but I still wasn’t able to relax enough to go to sleep.
I tried to get more comfortable just as Fia mind-linked me.
Lex? She called me, her voice laced with sadness. Are you awake?
I am. I responded immediately. Is everything okay?
Can I come to your room? She asked instead of answering me.
Always, Fia. I said softly.
My heart raced a bit, wondering if something happened to her. She calmed down a bit before we went to bed, but she sounded so fucking sad when she mind-linked me.
I heard her soft footsteps approaching my room. She opened the door and walked inside. She was wearing her pajamas and carrying her favorite blanket. I knew immediately why she had come here. We always did this when we needed comfort. I wanted to ask her to come to my room earlier. I needed her. I needed to hold her hand and sleep next to her just like when we were little. Being with her was sometimes the only thing that could get me to fall asleep when I was upset. I knew it would be the same now. I knew that I would be able to fall asleep now that she was here.
I moved the pillow away and made room for her in my bed. She climbed in and lay next to me, covering us both with her blanket.
I took her hand in mine and squeezed it tightly.
“I miss them,” she said quietly, making my heart clench.
I rubbed the top of her hand gently and sighed.
“I miss them too, Fia,” I said and she turned to look at me.
The pain in her eyes almost made me scream.
“Will they ever walk out of that room, Lex?” she asked, her voice trembling. “Will we ever get to hug them again?”
The lump in my throat was threatening to suffocate me. I didn’t know how to answer that question. I was wondering the same.
“I don’t know, Fia,” I told her honestly. “I really hope so.”
A tear fell on her cheek and I reached out to wipe it away.
“Do you remember when we were little and dad would always make us pancakes on Sundays?” Fia asked and I nodded.
“I remember,” I said as a small smile spread across my face. “He always burnt one side.”
Fia shook her head and chuckled.
“He once told me that mom always did that when they started to live together,” she said. “I think that he had just gotten used to the taste over the years so he made them just like she would.”
My heart clenched and the lump in my throat only grew. The love my parents shared was one of a kind. I hoped that I would find a love like that someday. I hoped that Fia would find it. She was on a good track with Hunter, but he still had a lot to prove to me. Fia was my twin and my standards were high.
“He loves her so much,” Fia mumbled, looking down. “I should have known that he would find a way to get inside that room.”
She was right. We should have seen that coming.
I raised my hand and caressed her cheek.
“Thank you for coming here,” I said. “I was having trouble sleeping.”
Fia smiled and squeezed my hand.
“I know,” she said. “I felt it. I wanted to come to you immediately, but Hunter made me stay until he fell asleep.”
I smiled and tried to take a deep breath. The weight on my chest felt a bit lighter now that she was here.
“How is Uncle Andrew?” Fia asked.
“Terrified,” I mumbled. “I don’t know how he survived everything that happened to our mom. I lost you once and I barely managed to live through that.”
Fia sighed and pulled me closer to her. I leaned my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes.
“You will never lose me again, Lex,” Fia said softly. “I promise. I will always be here.”
I looked up at her and gave her a small smile.
“Even when you leave with Hunter?” I asked her, feeling my heart spasm.
I knew that she had to go, but I really didn’t want her to.
“Especially then,” she said, smiling back at me. “We will talk on the phone every day. We can even meet at the border every damn day. I already know that I wouldn’t have a problem with that.”
I chuckled and gave her a small nod.
“It’s a deal,” I said. “We will meet at the border every day.”
Fia smiled again and leaned her head on mine. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I tightened my hold on her hand and let myself drift off into sleep.
