Julian and I walk through the front entrance and I’m stewing. Again. I don’t know why I even tried to have a civil conversation with him.
“Put on a happy face, gattina, or I’ll give you something to really cry about.”
I glare over at him, wishing I could find the nearest sharp object and use it to stab him.
“I know what to do,” I bite out.
“Clearly.”
Smiling wide, I make sure to show all my teeth.
“Better,” he says.
“It’s because I’m imagining what it would feel like to kill you.”
He smirks, his hand coming to the small of my back as he pushes me forward and around the corner toward my father’s room.
I don’t see my father’s nurse Shaina in the hall before I’m slamming into her, my hands reaching out to steady myself and to keep us both from toppling to the ground.
“God, Yasmin, you scared me,” she pants, jumping back and hunching her lithe frame over to catch her breath.
“I’m so sorry, Shaina.” I can’t help but laugh, the adrenaline of the moment wearing off and making me loopy.
Shaina stands up straight again, smiling wide, beads of perspiration dripping down the sides of her forehead and making her skin shimmer.
“Are you okay?” I ask, tilting my head, concern worming through me.
Shaina nods, her eyes flicking from me to where Julian’s standing silently behind me. “I’m just fine. Your father had a fall, and he’s not the lightest man to pick up. Took my breath away and gave me exercise, though, so can’t complain too much.” My heart squeezes, and it must show on my face because she reaches out and grasps my hand in hers. “I know it’s hard to hear, sweetie. But it’s just the natural progression of things. Better to come to terms with it than keep trying to…”
Her voice trails off when her gaze focuses on the giant ring sitting like a beacon on my left hand, her mouth dropping in shock.
I force a small smile, feeling Julian’s ever- imposing stature come even closer to my back. “Is he up for company?” I ask, trying to keep things light even though internally, I’m screaming for her not to buy it.
For her to help me.
For someone to save me from this mess.
Shaina nods slowly, her eyes coming up to meet mine as she drops my hand. “I’m sure he’ll want to see you for something like this. That’s a beautiful ring.”
I swallow back the pain and allow the anger at Julian for not even allowing my father to be there when I officially got married to fill me up in its place. What’s the point of trying to trick him into thinking this is real if we eloped without him? Isn’t this whole thing to convince my father to give everything to Julian anyway? I don’t understand how pissing him off and excluding him will help that.
Although I had expected him to be much more upset at the fact that Julian and I were together at all, and instead, he surprised me with calm words and wisdom. So maybe I don’t know this new version of my father as well as I’d like to think.
“Where is he?” Julian asks.
Shaina doesn’t even spare him a glance, keeping her gaze locked on me before glancing behind her and then back. “He’s resting in his room.”
Nodding, I run my hand up her arm and bring her into a hug.
“Thank you for doing everything you do. I know it can’t be easy.”
“Please,” she replies, brushing me off and patting my back. “It’s what I’m here for.”
She lets me go and we smile at each other.
“Chop- chop, gattina. We don’t have all day,” Julian says at my back.
I inhale deeply, closing my eyes as I try to remain calm, because if I allow myself to get riled by him right before we go to see my dad, I might actually end up killing him. And that seems counterintuitive to proving that we’re in love.
Moving down the hall, I reach my father’s room first, knocking on his door and hearing a faint “Come in.”
My hand trembles slightly as I turn the handle, because it’s an overwhelming feeling to tell the man who I’ve always been afraid to let down that I got married to someone without him there.
I went through all this trouble to try and keep from upsetting him, and yet here I am coming full circle, about to disappoint him anyway.
His eyes light up when I walk in the room, and I force the smile to stick on my face even as my insides burn with grief as I take him in. He’s lost a lot of weight, even though it’s only been a week and a half since I’ve seen him. His face is gaunt, and if it wasn’t for his beard, which is growing in nicely despite his body giving up the fight, he’d look almost skeletal.
There’s a scent of Vicks VapoRub in the air, the menthol tang hitting my nose and making my eyes water, and his gaze is glossed over from him being doped up on pain meds to keep him from feeling the worst of the lung cancer breaking down his body.
“Yasmin,” he coos.
“Hey, old man,” Julian says from behind me, grabbing a chair from the small round table in the corner of the room. He drags it over to the bedside, and I expect him to sit down, but he surprises me, moving over to me instead and placing his hand on my lower back, ushering me toward the seat and helping me into it.
“Avoiding me?” Julian directs to my father as I settle into the chair.
My father’s jaw stiffens the slightest bit, but then he blows out a deep breath and shakes his head. “I’ve just been feeling a little under the weather. Figured you had everything under control.”
Julian nods as he pulls up the other chair right next to me, sitting down and crossing his leg over the opposite knee. “You know I do. Still, I’d like to catch you up on some things.”
My father sighs, rubbing his forehead like a headache is forming. “Yasmin, give us a few minutes.”
I move to stand, though everything in me wants to stay, even if it’s just to be a silent bystander watching them talk shop. Every second I can spend in my father’s presence I want to greedily grab up like treasure, because I don’t know how many seconds we have left.
Julian’s warm hands come down on top of my thigh, sending heat spreading up my leg and through my abdomen. My breathing falters at the feeling.
“Sit.”
It’s one word, but the command in it is unmistakable.
My father’s eyes harden. “If you’re here to talk business, she doesn’t need any part of it. She’s my daughter, not a business partner.”
His words sting, the same way they always do, and I want to ask him why he’s even bothering to leave me everything if he’s so against me being any part of it, but I bite down on my tongue instead, jolting from the sharp prick of pain.
Julian nods, brushing his hands down the chest of his perfectly fitted black suit before meeting my father’s gaze head- on. “And now she’s my wife. Which means she’s my partner.”
My father’s face starts to shift, anger becoming so prevalent on his features I can practically see the steam coming out of his ears. “Wife?”
“I know you must be upset,” Julian continues. “And it’s not fair that I took her from under your nose. Despicable, really. But what’s done is done.” He leans forward. “At least I waited until you approved the wedding before we did anything, old man. But honestly, can you blame me? Your daughter…”
He looks to me with such a genuine look of adoration that my heart skips.
Damn, he’s good.
Asshole.
“Your daughter is everything. Surely you remember being in love.”
I can’t help the small huff that escapes when I think about Julian Faraci ever actually falling in love.
His eyes move back to my father’s, and I follow the gaze, chewing on the inside of my lip until it stings. I expect a fight. After all, my baba isn’t the type of man to go down without one, and his authority is law. The fact that Julian is so blatantly disregarding him and taking the power for himself so effortlessly is almost awe- inspiring to watch. If not absolutely terrifying.
Because if he can go against my father, who would ever go against him? I need to talk to Riya.
“There’s no going back, so please, Ali, just be happy that she’s mine.” He leans forward.
My father sighs, his stare moving from Julian to me, his gaze like stone.
“Yasmin,” he starts, his voice sharp. “How could you— ”
“No,” Julian cuts in.
The silence that blankets the air is thick, and I hold my breath, afraid that if I move, it will pierce the tension until it detonates like a bomb.
“You will not take it out on her,” Julian continues. “This was my decision. The only thing she’s done wrong is love a man she wasn’t supposed to love and give in to his selfish, demanding ways.”
My throat swells as I listen to Julian talk, gratitude, as misplaced and unwelcome as it is, surging through my veins and warming my heart. I’ve never had anyone stand up for me before, and even though it’s not real, even though he forced me and is blackmailing me, there’s a twisted sense of happiness that he’s refusing to let me take the fall. He’s protecting my relationship with my father as much as he can, even though he’s the cause of all the strife.
I hate him just a little less in this moment, and it makes me sick.
There’s a grunt from the bed, and I keep my gaze trained on my lap, not wanting to look up and see the rejection on my father’s face. But he surprises me when he says, “I don’t have the energy to be angry.”
My head snaps up, relief pouring through me when I see nothing but acceptance in his eyes.
Julian’s hand is still on my leg and his fingers squeeze my thigh. I reach down, slipping my hand beneath his and showing solidarity. He protected me in his own weird way, even though I’m not sure why, so I’ll play my part to perfection, the way I know he wants.
“We can still plan a wedding,” I chime in. “I want you to walk me down the aisle.”
My father opens his mouth to speak, but instead, a rough cough surges up in its place, and the sound makes my insides jump and my fingers grip a little tighter onto Julian’s.
The cough is harsher now than it ever has been before, and I feel useless, unable to do anything except sit by his side and watch him suffer through the pain.
My own chest feels like it’s splitting in two the longer my father struggles to regain his composure, and it isn’t until he has that I realize my other hand has grasped onto Julian’s wrist, bringing his entire forearm to rest in my lap while my fingers hold on to him so tightly it blanches his skin. His thumb is rubbing soothing circles on my palm, and even though it’s sick and wrong and everything I’m supposed to be against, I don’t pull away from the comfort he’s providing. It makes me feel a little less, and right now, sitting at my baba’s bedside while his body fails in front of my eyes, I’d give anything not to feel.
My father recovers, wiping beneath his eyes and reaching for the glass of water at his bedside table. I jump up to grab it for him, but he stops me halfway there with a sharp glare.
“I’m fine, Yasmin. Leave it.”
My heart drops. “I…of course. I’m sorry.”
He sighs, leaning back against his pillows and rubbing his eyes. “I’m tired, and if you keep your wife in the room, I’m not able to talk. She doesn’t need to be involved in the business, Julian.”
Julian’s quiet for a moment before leaning over and pressing his lips against my forehead.
I’m so choked up from everything that just happened, I couldn’t speak if I tried.
“I’ll only be a moment. Stay close so you can come back in and say goodbye.”
Swallowing around the knot in my throat, I nod. And then before I can take another breath, his lips are on mine.
It’s quick and chaste and shouldn’t be anything other than a show.
But it throws my entire world off its axis anyway.
