It was strange. I’d left for Ohio, expecting it to be a nightmare, and I returned realizing it was a catharsis.
The trip took the messy, blurred pieces of my life and threw them into sharp relief.
Alastair was dead and couldn’t hurt me anymore.
My mom was dead, and no matter how much I agonized over what ifs, she was never coming back.
Max remained a threat, but he’d been oddly silent for a while. Until he made his next move, there wasn’t much I could do.
And Josh…Josh was one of the few bright spots in my shitshow of a life. Changing our relationship from enemies with benefits to dating was like jumping off a cliff—it could end in the most exhilarating rush of my life or total disaster.
But I already had enough regrets. I didn’t want Josh to be one of them.
Sometimes, you had to take a leap or risk getting stuck forever.
“What do you think?” I turned slowly, letting Stella examine my outfit.
Josh and I had our first official date today, but no matter how much I cajoled, threatened, and bribed him, he’d remained tight-lipped about what we were doing, so I was flying blind when it came to the dress code. His only guidance was to dress nice but not too nice, which was no freaking help at all.
After much agonizing, I’d settled on a blue sundress with sandals and styled my hair in a high ponytail to stave off the sweltering June heat. It was fun, flirty, and casual enough for a stroll in the park but dressy enough for a nice restaurant.
At least, I hoped so.
Stella assessed me from head to toe before giving me a thumbs up. “Perfect.”
Thank God. I didn’t have time to change. I was already running late.
Since Josh couldn’t pick me up from my house, I met him in Georgetown as requested.
Flutters filled my stomach when I spotted him waiting at our designated meeting spot.
White button down. Dark jeans. Tousled hair. So gorgeous it made my heart hurt.
I kind of wished we still hated each other because our relationship was not great for my cardiac health.
“Hey, Red.” Josh looked me over, his eyes heating. “Nice to see you looking presentable for once.”
“Nice to see you looking human for once.” I gave him an equally deliberate once-over. “How much did you pay for the skin suit to cover up your devil’s horns and reptile skin?”
“It was free. I’m just that charming,” he drawled.
“I think the seller was just scared you’ll suffocate him with your giant ego if you didn’t leave soon.”
His laugh rolled through me like molten caramel, rich and sweet. “I fucking missed you.”
I fell into step beside him as we walked down the street toward our mysterious destination. “It’s been three days.”
“I know.”
The flutters intensified. Dammit. When he wasn’t being an ass, he could be so…sweet.
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going now?” I was too curious not to ask. Why hadn’t Josh asked me to meet him at the date spot instead of some random street corner?
He heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Patience.”
“I don’t know what that is, but it sounds boring.” I stifled a laugh when he side-eyed me.
“You’re insufferable.”
“So you keep saying, yet you missed me and you’re on a date with me. What does that say about you?”
“That I’m a glutton for a beautiful punishment.”
I bit my lip to contain a burgeoning smile. “You should look into that. Doesn’t sound healthy.”
“I did. There’s no cure, I’m afraid.”
I stumbled on a loose cobblestone and would’ve face planted on the sidewalk had Josh not caught me by the wrist.
“Careful,” he said, his eyes aglow with amusement. He knew exactly what he was doing, the bastard. “Don’t want you to fall.”
“I won’t.” I mustered a haughty tone and smoothed down my skirt, my cheeks red.
After another five minutes or so, we finally stopped in front of a tiny shop with a striped awning and the words Apollo Hill Books stamped in gold on the windows. Piles of books filled the display, obstructing my view of the shop’s interior, and two royal blue carts groaned beneath the weight of discounted tomes on the sidewalk.
Now I knew why Josh hadn’t asked me to meet him here—the street was only wide enough for pedestrians and bicycles. A car didn’t have a chance of squeezing through it. The same went for the surrounding streets.
“Welcome to the best bookstore in the city.” Josh swept a dramatic arm at the building and grinned at my stunned expression.
“How have I never heard of this place?” My heart beat fast at the prospect of what lay beyond the white wood door. Discovering a new bookstore was like discovering a new type of precious gem: exhilarating, wondrous, and a touch surreal. “I’ve lived here for years.”
“It opened a few months ago and flies under the radar. I found out about it from another resident whose cousin’s friend owns it.” Josh opened the door.
The minute I stepped inside, I fell in love. No, not fell. I crashed into love, hard and fast, seduced by the floor-to-ceiling bookcases, the charmingly haphazard piles crowding the oval table in the middle of the store, and the sweet, musky scent of old books. The bold emerald carpet contrasted with the understated cream walls, and several wrought-iron chandeliers cast a warm glow over the space.
It was the bookstore of my dreams, manifested into reality.
“What did I tell you?” Josh’s voice rolled down my spine in a velvety caress. “Best bookstore in the city.”
Other than the store owner, we were the only people present. It was hard to believe the hustle and bustle of the city lay on the other side of the door. It was so hushed, I felt like we’d entered a secret world created just for us.
“This is the only time I’ll admit you’re right.” I ran a reverent hand over a nearby pile of books. The store contained a mix of new releases and used books, and I wanted to explore them all. “Are we spending our date browsing? Because I’m fully onboard with that.”
“Sort of.” Josh leaned against the side of a bookcase and slid one hand into his pocket, the picture of gorgeous insouciance. “I would start with your favorite childhood book.”
“Why?”
“Trust me.” He angled his chin toward the nearby children’s section.
The heat from Josh’s gaze warmed my skin as I scanned the shelves until I found what I was looking for. There were only three copies of Charlotte’s Web, and I assumed there was a note or something similar in one of them.
The fact he’d remembered such a small detail from our conversation in Ohio sent a burst of tingles shooting through me.
Focus, Jules.
I plucked one of the copies off the shelf and flipped through the pages. Nothing out of the ordinary.
I tried a second copy. Nothing.
But when I opened the third book, a slip of paper fluttered to the ground. I picked it up, and a smile burst onto my mouth when I read the words scribbled in Josh’s neat scrawl.
Your favorite food, but you have to make it.
B3, S4, #10.
“Is this a bookstore scavenger hunt?” I bounced on my feet, unable to contain my delight.
“Scavenger hunt and puzzle.” Josh’s cheek dimpled. “Have to make sure your brainpower meets my standards, Red. I don’t date dummies.”
“Understandable. Someone has to be the brains in the relationship.”
Josh’s soft laugh settled inside me. “Solve the clue before you get cocky, sweetheart. There’s a prize waiting for you if you do.”
I perked up. I loved prizes. I had a whole box of certificates, trophies, and medals I won in high school and college. “What is it?”
“You’ll find out. Or maybe not.” He shrugged. “Let’s see.”
My skin buzzed from both our exchange and the thrill of the hunt, but I tamped down my desire to continue our verbal sparring session and refocused on the clue.
Your favorite food, but you have to make it obviously referred to an Italian cookbook.
As for B3 S4 #10…my brain scrambled to untangle its meaning. It was a scavenger hunt, so the clue likely led to a specific cookbook. All the books were organized in alphabetical order by the author’s last name, so what could the numbers stand for?
I scanned the bookcases, trying—
My attention jerked back to a sign printed with the number one. It was displayed on the side of the nearest bookcase.
The books weren’t numbered, but the bookcases were, and every bookcase comprised of multiple shelves. Bookcase, shelf. B3 S4.
Cookbook section, bookcase three, shelf four…#10. Tenth book on the shelf?
It was worth a try.
My chest thumped with anticipation as I beelined to the shelf in question and counted the books from left to right. One, two, three, four…
Number ten was an Italian cookbook.
Giddiness surged through my veins. I shot a triumphant glance at Josh, who tried and failed to hold back a smile, before I flipped through the book and found a second note.
Now that I’d cracked the code, this one was easier to solve. It guided me to the travel section for a thick guidebook to Italy. That, in turn, led me to the art section for a biography about Michelangelo, which funneled me to a romance about a painter falling in love with his neighbor turned muse.
The note in the romance novel didn’t contain a clue. Instead, it contained one sentence.
Jules, will you go out with me?
Was it possible for a human being to literally melt? Because that was the only explanation I could think of for the way my knees weakened and my insides liquefied. I was a ball of nothing except emotion, held together by a roaring heartbeat and a string of butterflies.
“We’re already on a date, idiot.” My cheeks ached from smiling so hard.
Josh’s mischievous expression melted into something warmer. “Figured I should formally ask before we head to the next stop.”
“Where’s that?”
“You’ll see. Thanks, Luna.” He nodded at the grinning bookstore owner, who handed him a shopping bag packed with books.
I’d been so caught up in the scavenger hunt I hadn’t realized she’d been following me, picking up every book with a clue after I moved on to the next section.
“The books are yours. You’re welcome for diversifying your reading,” Josh said.
I was too stunned to come up with a good retort. “How did you organize this?”
“Like I said, Luna is a coworker’s cousin’s friend. I worked it out with her. Plus, I bought a shit ton of books in exchange, so it was a win-win.”
“That’s…” Don’t cry. That would be humiliating, but the fact that Josh had gone to so much trouble for our date…
A lump lodged itself in my throat as we said goodbye to Luna and exited the bookshop.
“Jules Ambrose, speechless. I should’ve done this earlier,” Josh joked. “Would’ve saved me a lot of headaches in the past.”
“Hilarious.” I found my words again. “So, where’s the prize you promised me?”
“You’ll get it later.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Are you scamming me, Josh Chen?”
A smile played on his mouth. “Maybe.” We stopped in front of Giorgio’s, an intimate Italian restaurant tucked on a side street. Its windows glowed with candlelight, and the soft strains of jazz music floated into my ears when he opened the door. “Guess you’ll have to trust me.”
Three months ago, I wouldn’t have trusted Josh Chen if I was drowning and he was my only lifeline. Now, I didn’t think twice before I followed him and the hostess to a table in the back corner.
“I wouldn’t make you cook,” Josh said, referencing the first scavenger hunt clue. “I don’t want to die from food poisoning.”
“Quick, quit your job at the hospital. You should be a comedian.” I paged through the menu. “Since we’re here, I assume I meet your intellectual standards and am officially the brains in the relationship.”
“Among other things,” Josh said softly.
My menu flips slowed. I raised my head, and my stomach flipped at the intensity in his eyes. “Other things?”
A slow smile spread across his mouth. “No fishing for compliments, Red.”
“I’m not fishing. I hate fishing.” What are you even saying? Still, I rambled on, too nervous to sit still or stay quiet. “Speaking of, why do guys always put fishing pictures in their dating profile? It’s a turnoff, honestly.”
“I don’t, and you don’t have to worry about that.”
“Why not?”
“Because neither of us are dating anyone else, Red,” Josh said, so calm and matter of fact the words etched themselves into my skin as truth.
Our server arrived, saving me from coming up with an eloquent response. It would’ve been a futile effort, anyway. I couldn’t even focus on my food, much less piece the thousands of words in my vocabulary into a coherent sentence.
All I could focus on was the man across the table. The fullness of his lower lip, the shadow of his dimple, the rough caress of his voice and the bronze glow of his skin in the dim light.
I didn’t know how I ever thought Josh was annoying, because I could stay here and listen to him talk forever.
“Remember what you told me in Eldorra? About forgiving, even if I don’t forget?” Josh rubbed his jaw. “Alex and I are going to a game next week.”
Pleasant surprise rushed through me. “That’s great.”
“We’ll see. He’s such an asshole, it could hurt more than it helps.”
I laughed. “True. But he’s always been an asshole, and you guys were friends for years.”
“Also true. It’s weird, because he was so fucking hard to crack, especially when we first met. And that was him trying to be personable. Normally, I would’ve written someone like that off, but…” A frown touched Josh’s brow. “I don’t know. I guess I thought he needed a friend. No matter how rich you are, you still need someone to have your back. Someone who doesn’t do it for the money.”
I softened at his words. “You’re a good person, Josh Chen.”
“Only sometimes.” He let out an embarrassed laugh. “You were right, you know. What you said after the Black Fox about me holding onto my grudge because that’s all I have left to hold onto.”
The Black Fox. That night seemed like a lifetime ago. We’d been so angry, and we’d said so many hurtful things, but if I had to do it over, I wouldn’t change a thing. That night led us to where we were now. And even with the freshness of my mother’s death and the specter of Max hanging over me, I was happy with where I was, because for once in my life, I didn’t feel alone.
“I wouldn’t say that’s the only thing you have left to hold onto,” I said.
The rest of the restaurant fell away as the moment stretched between us, taut and brimming with a million unspoken words. The answering flare of emotion in Josh’s eyes arrowed into my chest and pierced a shield I hadn’t known existed.
The result was utter chaos—heart bared, pulse wild, stomach fluttering with a swarm of escaped butterflies.
“Careful, Red.” Pleasurable goosebumps dotted my skin at Josh’s soft warning. “Keep saying things like that, and I might never let you go.”
Heat blazed over my face. I was getting lightheaded from the lack of oxygen, but no matter how hard I tried to breathe, it wasn’t enough. Every ounce of air vibrated with an electric charge that lit me up from the inside.
I might’ve collapsed right there at the corner table in Giorgio’s had the jangle of bells over the entrance not loosened the stranglehold on me. It was followed by a cool, clear voice.
“Alex Volkov. Table for two.”
Josh and I tore our eyes from each other and turned to the front of the restaurant in mutual horror.
Alex and Ava stood near the hostess’s stand. They hadn’t noticed us yet. Alex was busy looking at Ava, and Ava was busy chatting with the hostess, but it was only a matter of time. The restaurant was tiny.
“Oh my God.” I averted my eyes and shielded the side of my face with my hand. “What do we do?”
As far as Alex and Ava knew, Josh and I still hated each other. If we were somewhere more casual, we could play it off as having accidentally run into each other, but there was nothing accidental about sitting at the same candlelit table in a romantic restaurant on a Friday night.
“We have two options.” Josh’s voice was so low it was almost inaudible. “One, we stay and face the music with courage. Two, we sneak out through the back before they see us like cowards.”
We stared at each other.
“Option two,” we mouthed in unison.
Luckily, we’d already paid. The challenge was getting to the kitchen without Alex and Ava seeing us.
We kept our backs to the rest of the restaurant as we edged toward the swinging double doors. We didn’t want to attract attention by running, but my heart felt like it would fall out of my chest with each passing second.
By some miracle, we snuck into the kitchen before our friends spotted us. Once we did, we broke into a run, earning ourselves started glances from the staff.
“Hey!” one of the line cooks yelled. “You’re not supposed to be in here!”
“Sorry!” I yelled back over my shoulder. “We wanted to pay our compliments to the chef!”
“The pappardelle al ragu was excellent,” Josh added. “Five out of five stars.”
“I’m calling the manager.” The line cook raised his voice. “Sergio!”
Shit.
“Go, go, go!” Josh grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the exit. We spilled out into the alleyway behind the restaurant right as a man whom I assumed was Sergio shouted something incomprehensible at us. We didn’t stop running until we were several blocks away, and I bent over to catch my breath.
“Shit,” I wheezed. Cardio wasn’t my strong suit, and it showed. “I can’t believe we just did that.”
“At least we left a big tip.” Josh wasn’t even out of breath, the bastard. “We’ll throw a Yelp review on top of that. Good food, clean kitchen. We saw it with our own eyes.”
For some reason, the suggestion struck me as absurd. I doubled over again, this time from laughter. A second passed before Josh joined me.
Maybe it was the food, the adrenaline from our near run-in with our friends, or the crisp evening air, but exhilaration whipped through me until the world tilted.
I had never felt so incredibly, indescribably alive.
Our laughter gradually faded, but the balloon of pleasure in my chest lingered.
“So, tell me, Red.” A smile lingered at the corners of Josh’s mouth. “On a scale of one to ten, how great was the date?”
“Hmm.” I tapped my chin. “Seven point five, rounded up to eight for the scavenger hunt.”
“Eight, huh?” He took a step toward me.
My heart beat a little faster. “Uh-huh.”
“What do I have to do to make it a ten?” His gaze dropped to my mouth.
“Well, you do owe me a prize.” Was that breathless, giddy voice mine? “Keep your promises, Chen.”
“You’re right.” Josh cupped my face with one hand and brushed his thumb over my lip. Electric sparks formed over my skin. “How rude of me to keep you waiting.”
He leaned down and kissed me. The touch was featherlight, but it traveled from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.
“How about that? Are we at ten yet?” he whispered against my lips.
“Um.” My head swam with pleasure. “Maybe a nine.”
“Hmm. That won’t do.” He kissed me again, firmer this time. His tongue swept along the seam of my lips and nudged inside when I parted for him. A fog of lust clouded my brain while he explored my mouth, his hand a possessive weight on my hip. When he finally pulled back, I could barely remember my name. “What about now?”
“Nine point five,” I rasped after a long, dizzy pause.
“Nine point five.” Josh wrapped my ponytail around his other hand and gave it a light yank that shot straight to my core. “Are you playing with me, Red?” he asked silkily.
“Are you complaining?”
His eyes glowed with amusement and something else that sent warm tendrils spiraling through my insides. “Not even a little bit.”
This time, the kiss was harder, more urgent.
I sank into it, letting Josh’s touch and taste sweep me away to a place where we were the only people who existed.
I once read somewhere that the opposite of love wasn’t hate, it was indifference. The flames of hate and passion burned in equal measure.
I couldn’t pinpoint the specific moment my feelings toward Josh changed. I didn’t even know what my current feelings toward him were, exactly.
All I knew was, he set me ablaze, and I never wanted the fire to go out.
