I tie my damp hair back then button my jacket.
My movements are mechanical at best. Knox said he’ll take me and Teal to some film, but I can’t muster excitement about it.
I enjoy their company more than anything else. Being back under my father’s wing has given me a sense of comfort I haven’t felt in ten years.
Dinner time with Dad, Agnus, Knox, and Teal feels familial, and I’m thankful to have them as a family.
However, something is missing.
At times, I’m certain it’s about the past and what I erased from my memory. But the truth is, that’s not the only reason.
Even when I laugh and smile and act completely normal, I can still sense the void inside. The terrifying hollowness. It echoes through my empty chest like an old rusty bell.
It hurts.
It really fucking hurts.
The worst part is that I can’t even talk about it to anyone. They’d think I’m broken beyond repair. They’ll think I’m crazy for tossing and turning all night thinking about the one person I shouldn’t be thinking about.
I suck in a deep breath.
You can do this, Elsa. You’re strong.
I throw the backpack over my shoulder and step outside.
My feet falter near the door.
Aiden and Silver stand together, appearing deep in conversation.
My lips tremble. The void in my chest claws louder and harder like a trapped animal. That animal needs out. That animal will rip my heart open, run over to them, and shred that scene apart.
Stop. I scream at myself. It’s over, remember? They’re engaged. You’re nothing.
Even as I tell myself this, I can barely fight off tears. God, maybe I shouldn’t have returned to RES after all.
I don’t think I can see them like this for the rest of the year and pretend I’m okay.
My armour has already cracked, and it’ll continue to crumble the more I witness such scenes.
I close my eyes for the briefest second.
I can do this.
I’ll walk past them with my head held high and pretend they don’t exist.
My footsteps are forceful, to say the least, but I jut my chin upwards as I stride in the direction of the exit.
I’m strong. I’m strong. I’m strong…
Their chatter comes to a halt as I march past them. A strong hand wraps around my arm, stopping me in my tracks.
Goosebumps erupt over my skin and my entire body explodes with static.
His scent fills my nostrils. He doesn’t smell like me anymore. His scent is mixed with Silver’s expensive Chanel perfume.
I grit my teeth to avoid getting lost in his touch. “Let go or I’ll scream the whole place down.”
“I’d prefer you scream for another reason.” The dark, seductive tone takes me completely by surprise.
Is he flirting with me in front of his fiancé? What the hell is wrong with this psycho?
I would’ve felt sorry for Silver if I didn’t feel so bitter and completely out of my element right now.
“Let. Me. Go.” I emphasise every word.
“If I do, you’ll run away and I can’t have that.” He tugs and whirls me around so I’m facing him and Silver.
My head is held high, meeting both their gazes.
They won’t see my weakness. Not today. Not ever.
“We have something to tell you.” Aiden raises an eyebrow. “I would’ve told you earlier if you’d have listened to me.”
“I have nothing to talk about with either of you.”
Silver studies her nails. Her beautiful nails all peachy pink and polished. “Remember what I said at the car park?”
I won’t say anything until you talk to Aiden.
Her words have been playing in my mind since she said them. I tried not to give them weight, but I couldn’t ignore them. Especially at night when I can’t sleep.
For that reason alone, I choose to stay.
Seeming convinced that I won’t leave, Aiden releases my arm.
“Are you engaged to Aiden?” I ask her.
She nods.
I press my lips together, gather my bearings around me, then speak in a neutral tone that conveys nothing of the chaos running rampant inside me. “Then we have nothing to talk about.”
One step is all I take before Aiden grips me by the shoulder and pins me in place. “Listen for once, and stop running away.”
Could be because of his intoxicating touch.
Or their engagement that hangs over my head like a guillotine.
Or the fact that he smells like Silver.
Could be all of those combined.
All the pent up feelings I’ve been repressing explode to the surface. It’s ugly, it’s irrational, and it’s out of control.
“I’m not running away.” My voice raises with every word. “I’m walking the hell away from you, Aiden. You’re cancer who’ll keep eating me from the inside out until there’s nothing left. I’m done being your pawn. I’m done being played. I’m choosing me this time. Not you. Me!”
My lungs choke with my breaths. It rises and falls so quickly, I can barely catch my thoughts that scatter all around me like smoke.
“That’s smart,” Silver says.
“Queens,” Aiden warns.
“Fine.” She rolls her eyes and faces me. “The engagement is fake.”
My lips part. “What?”
“King and I were promised to each other since we were kids. We used it to get into our fathers’ good graces. That’s it. We never planned to go through with it.” She glares at him. “I would rather die before marrying this bastard. He’s an unfeeling psycho.”
“Mutual, Queens.” He smiles at her without humour.
My gaze bounces between them as if they turned into caricatures and I’m trying to grasp a sense of reality.
“Then why…” My voice comes out scratchy and I clear my throat. “Why did you act so territorial about him?”
She hesitates for a beat. “I needed to stay engaged to him for other reasons, but he wanted to end our arrangement because of you. I figured if I pushed you out of the way, he’ll keep his side of the deal.”
“What other reasons?” I ask.
“I can’t say. I mean… It’s personal.” She meets my gaze with a determined one. “We’re ending the arrangement in front of our parents somewhere next week. I’ll be completely out of your hair.”
No one says anything.
I’m still processing what I heard and trying to categorise it. Aiden has been watching the exchange with that completely detached expression of his. If only I can cut straight through his poker face and see what he’s thinking.
“That’s all from me.” She throws up her hands dismissively. “Good luck with this twat. You’ll need a lot of it.”
She flips him her middle finger on her way out. Aiden returns the gesture without breaking eye contact with me.
He’s watching me with that intensity again. Like a predator. It’s as if he’s trying to dissect my brain and stick his fingers inside.
Then, I realise he’s waiting for me to speak.
“What are you expecting? A kiss or something?”
His lips tilt in a beautifully cruel smirk. “That would be a good start. Although I have dirtier things in mind.”
“Do you really think I’ll jump into your embrace now?”
“And bed and sofa, and the fucking wall.” The sadism shines bright on his face. “I’m taking my fill.”
He approaches me with predatory steps. All tall, powerful, and unstoppable.
“Stop right there.” I hold up my hand. “If you think what Silver said will let bygones be bygones, you’re utterly wrong.”
Aiden stops in his tracks and the infuriating poker face straps around his features so tight and mighty. This should mean he’s on the defensive. Good. I’m also on the defensive. Let’s clash and see who’ll come out alive.
“Just because your engagement with Silver was fake doesn’t erase the fact that you lied to me.”
“I didn’t lie to you.”
“A lie by omission is still a fucking lie, Aiden!” My voice strains with the force of my words. “You can’t stand here pretending you didn’t break my trust. Because you did. Every time I decide to give you a chance, you stomp all over my heart and prove me wrong, so excuse me if I have no trust to give anymore.”
He takes a step closer. We’re nearly standing toe to toe. His scent fills my space, male and clean. No idea if it’s because Silver is no longer in the picture. His heat and scent overwhelm me even when I try to numb my senses.
Is it even possible when he already owns them?
“I never lied to you, Elsa. I didn’t bring up the engagement because it held zero importance to me. It was a means to an end and a game I played to challenge Nash. It was also long before you and I got together.” He pauses. “I don’t spend energy on meaningless things, and you know that.”
“Meaningless?” I scoff. “How the hell is being engaged to your fuck buddy meaningless?”
“I never fucked Silver,” he says in a detached tone.
Wait. What?
“Ha. Could’ve fooled me!” This must be a cruel joke.
“You heard her. We can’t stand each other.”
“You don’t have to stand her to fuck her.”
“Yes, I do.”
I watch him closely as if he grew two heads all complete with red horns and shit. “But you didn’t deny you had her as a fuck buddy.”
“I didn’t confirm it either.”
“Why the hell didn’t you?”
“I liked seeing you jealous.”
My mouth hangs open, nearly hitting the ground. This fucking psycho will be the death of me.
“Besides, Nash will have my head on a stick if I come within two metres of his stepsister.” He lifts a shoulder. “I need my head.”
The onslaught of information takes me back by surprise. No, not surprise. I’m floundering with thoughts and memories.
I don’t know if I should soften or just hit him across the face.
Can’t I do both?
I peek at him through my eyelashes. God, he’s so broad and tall and beautiful.
Oh, and a sociopath.
Despite the relief flooding me, my heart can’t forget the stabs and the bitter taste of betrayal I felt at the Meet Up.
The humiliation.
The breaking of my heart.
You know, people say you don’t feel it when your heart breaks. I did. I heard the cracking sound and felt it tear apart.
Nothing will make me forget that.
At least not yet.
“I still don’t trust you, Aiden,” I murmur.
His left eye twitches. “Careful, sweetheart. You’re pushing me.”
“You pushed me first. You started the war first. Don’t blame me for building my forts.”
He touches his finger to my mouth. I cease breathing at the feel of his skin on mine.
His nearness has always been my undoing. Now that I lost the reason to feel numb, all I can do is feel.
The rough skin, the lean finger, the tingles, the need to lean in.
“Run and I’ll chase. Hide and I’ll conquer.” He places a chaste kiss on the corner of my mouth. “Time to make your move, sweetheart.”
