Eli smiles down at me.
His face is as clear as glass. He has dark hair, a shade darker than Dad’s and his eyes are the same as our father’s, too.
He always said he’s Dad’s favourite and I went crying to Dad so he’d tell me that I’m his favourite, too.
Dust of freckles cover his cheek, adding a boyish charm to his face.
Eli is so pretty.
The only difference is he’s small. I am not.
I’m wearing my RES’s uniform as I stand with him in our back garden with all the tall trees and the wires.
“Why did you leave, Eli?” I whisper.
“Come on, crybaby.” He holds out his hand for me. “We’re going to have fun.”
“Fun?”
“We’ll go to a place where we’ll be free.”
Free.
Eli and I. Free.
“Hurry, crybaby.”
I’m about to place my hand in his when voices slam into my head. Firm lips press a kiss after a kiss against my dry ones.
“Stay with me, Elsa. Don’t you dare fucking leave me.”
That voice.
That touch.
“Crybaby?” Eli’s eyes water with tears. I hate it when my brother cries.
“Stay with me, Elsa.” The voice…
“Please, crybaby. Don’t leave me alone.”
“Elsa!”
“Eli and Elsa together forever, right?”
The onslaught of both voices hits me over and over again. Tentacles of pain wrap around my heart. I can’t breathe.
I can’t fucking breathe.
“Bring her back!” The voice shouts. “Bring her back before I smash this whole fucking place.”
There’s so much pain in that voice. So much passion. So much… care.
Hearing him fight for me is like being lifted into the clouds. It’s peaceful but scary.
“Crybaby?”
Eli’s hand is still stretched in front of me. His expression is drawn downwards as he pleads.
“I’m not a crybaby anymore.” But as I say that, a tear streams down my cheek. I recognise the finality as I pull my hand. “Goodbye, Eli.”
He turns to smoke, fading into the distance.
I’m tempted to try and catch him, to spend more time with him, but I recognise, deep down, this isn’t where I’m supposed to be.
Someone is waiting for me.
And I have a promise to keep.
The moment I open my eyes, a headache assaults my temples. I’m disoriented for a few seconds. It takes several blinks to focus on the walls surrounding me.
White walls. Antiseptic smell.
The hospital. I’m at the hospital.
“Elsa, you’re awake.”
Dad’s voice filters through my consciousness. He sits beside me, his five o’clock shadow appears a few days old.
“Oh, hon.” Aunt takes my hand, Uncle standing by her side with a relieved expression plastered all over his face.
“What happened?” My throat is all scratchy and dry, but the words come out clear.
“You had a fever,” Aunt speaks in rapid-fire. “Dr Albert said you had palpitations. Depending on the test results, changing your dose of pills can be enough for now, but if there are any further complications in the next few months, he might have to operate. I can’t believe you haven’t told us your heartbeat rate has been acting up.”
“Blair.” Uncle shakes his head at her.
“Fine.” She points between Dad and I. “But you bet I’m going to hound you about your appointments from now on.”
“How long have I been out?” I ask in a small voice.
“Two days,” Dad says.
Two days. Woah. That’s a lot.
Aunt goes on to tell me about the tests and the doctor’s recommendations. She has it all written in her planner and both Uncle and Dad’s schedule so no one forgets.
I’m listening to them, but something doesn’t seem right. I search my memories about what actually happened.
Aiden kidnapped me. Check.
We went to Birmingham. Check.
I remembered the past. Check.
Agnus showed up and locked us in. Check.
We had lots of sex. Double-check
But after that, it’s a blur of mismatching mosaic colours.
I search my surroundings, but there’s no sign of Aiden. A jolt of panic grips me like those tentacles from the dream.
“Where is Aiden?” I interrupt them in a choked voice.
“He stepped out with Agnus for coffee,” Dad says.
“A-Agnus?” I all but shriek.
Why would Agnus have private time with Aiden? Is he planning something else?
Oh, God. What if he decides to hurt Aiden because Dad doesn’t like him? What if he thinks, like ten years ago, that’s the best solution for everyone?
After all, he has no moral compass stopping him from eliminating people who don’t fit into his bigger picture.
My brain goes into overdrive. It’s impossible to see clearly, let alone think.
“Yes, Agnus.” Dad smiles. “He’s the reason we found you. If I checked his text earlier, we could’ve avoided all of this.”
So Agnus did tell Dad.
I’m confused. Was what Aiden said true? The part about how Agnus wouldn’t hurt us.
“If we look at it from the other side.” Uncle squeezes my hand. “Maybe it’s for the best you got stuck in there. If you didn’t, we might’ve found out about your recent condition too late.”
“Oh my God, you’re right.” Aunt’s eyes widen. “The next appointment is months away. It could’ve been too late then.”
I can’t help thinking about what I told Aiden a long time ago.
Bad things happen for a reason.
The door opens. Aiden and Agnus walk into the room, appearing deep in conversation.
Deep in freaking conversation.
They stop when Aiden’s metal eyes meet mine. Those eyes that are never a void when he’s around me. His left arm is in a sling and he’s holding a coffee in his non-dominant hand.
Despite the fact that Agnus stands beside him, my heart flutters.
Aiden is here.
Everything is going to be okay.
He slams the coffee on a nearby table, not caring that it splashes on his hand and runs towards me.
I try to sit up.
Dad and Aunt start to protest. Aiden beats them to it and places a hand on my chest, gently forcing me to lie back down.
“What are you doing?” His voice is firm and non-negotiable. “You’re still weak and need to rest.”
I want to say I’m completely fine, but I doubt I’ll get the majority vote — if even just one — here.
Even Aunt who’s not Aiden’s biggest fan is nodding along with him.
“We’ll be outside,” Dad addresses my adoptive parents. “Blair. Jaxon.”
Uncle places a kiss on my forehead and stands up.
Aunt strokes my cheek and covers me to the neck. “Just so you know, I won’t be out of your hair, hon. I don’t care what your father and Uncle say.”
I nod with a smile as Uncle wraps an arm around her shoulders and leads her outside.
Agnus gives Dad an indecipherable look. It’s strange how they can communicate without words. I guess it’s possible if they’ve been best friends since they were ten.
Dad stops at the entrance. “Right. Elsa, Agnus said you have something important to tell me?”
My heart hammers in my chest as I glance between Agnus and Aiden. The latter lifts a shoulder, adjusting the blanket and appearing oblivious to the whole thing.
Agnus’ expression is completely blank.
Why the hell would he tell Dad that? Does he want me to disclose what happened in the past? Is he ready for the consequences?
I meet Dad’s eyes, and the decision is easier than I ever thought it would be.
“I do, Dad.” I smile. “I remember the past.”
Agnus doesn’t move and his expression remains the same. He really is ready, isn’t he?
“You do?” Dad’s face hardens. I don’t think he wanted me to remember.
Like Aunt, he doesn’t like me exposed to all that trauma. However, I think they understand that in order to overcome the trauma, I needed to have a recollection of it.
“I remember that night.” I nod in his right hand’s direction. “Agnus saved us all.”
“That he did.” Dad appears almost proud. “He really did.”
Agnus raises an eyebrow in my direction. Aiden simply smiles, shaking his head.
I meet Agnus’s unfeeling eyes with my own.
“We’ll talk later, princess.” Dad smiles at me then at Agnus and exits the hospital room.
Agnus nods at me. “Thank you.”
“I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing it for Dad.”
“My gratitude still stands. Ethan deserves a daughter like you.”
And then he’s out of the door.
“Ethan deserves a daughter like you,” I repeat with mockery. “Can you believe that shady man?”
“I can, actually.” Aiden strokes my hair back like he can’t stop touching me, a small smile lifting his lips.
“Hey, what do you keep smiling about?”
“Well, Agnus was certain you’d tell Ethan the truth because you’re righteous like your father. He was actually wrapping up things at the company. I told him you wouldn’t.”
“How could you be so sure?” Even I wasn’t until earlier.
“Because you love your father, and you’re the type who sacrifices for those they love. You know how much Ethan suffered by losing his family and that it would destroy him to lose his best friend of thirty-four years. Even though you don’t agree with what Agnus did, you understand why he did it and you know he’ll never hurt him. Deep down, you’re comfortable that there’s someone like Agnus protecting your father.”
I groan. “How the hell do you know me so well?”
“I stalk you on Instagram.” He winks.
I can’t help but chuckle. The sound soon turns into a cough.
“Hey, take it easy.” He strokes my cheek, his thumb caressing my lips. “If you give me such a fright one more time, I swear —”
Lifting my head, I close the distance between us and seal my mouth to his. I was dead for a moment, but he brought me back to life.
I can only feel alive if he’s touching me.
If he’s saying my name and calling me back to life. If he’s telling me things —
What I feel for you isn’t only love, obsession, or addiction. It’s all of those and more.
I pull back from his lips with a jolt. “Did you… Did you by any chance tell me you love me while I was feverish?”
A gleam sparks in his eyes. “Maybe.”
“Aiden! That’s not fair. You’re supposed to tell me that while I’m conscious.”
“Hmm. Like now?”
I nod frantically. “Yes, totally like now.”
“Hmm. I’m not really feeling it, but we can fix that if you bring me back to the right mood.”
“Aiden!”
“What? This is your punishment.”
“Fine. I’ll do it.”
As if possible, the spark in his eye ignites further. “What did you have in mind, sweetheart?”
“Guess you have to wait until I’m out of the hospital.”
He smirks. “Sneaky.”
“I learnt from the best.”
His lips come back to mine and I breathe him in. The hospital smell fades in comparison to his scent and his warmth.
My fingers thread in his jet black hair and I let him ravage me. I let him show me just how much I mean to him.
Aiden and I aren’t the darkness and the light. We both have tarnished minds and souls.
But we’re not soulmates.
We’re lost souls that fit in perfectly imperfect harmony.
And I’ll do everything I can to protect what we have.
“Wait,” I say against his mouth. “What were you and Agnus talking about earlier?”
“We’re planning something. It’s going to be fun.”
Aiden and Agnus are planning something.
What on earth could two psychopaths consider ‘fun’?
