After covering the bite marks with concealer, I left my room with Samuel at my side. Mom was in the dining room, setting plates up for dinner. Usually the maids did it, but I got the impression she needed to keep busy. She’d lost weight. She had always been tall and thin, but now she was willowy.
Samuel’s words flashed through my mind, that she’d fallen to her knees and begged Dante to save me. My mother was a proud woman. I don’t think she’d ever begged for anything in her life nor knelt. But kneeling for the ones we loved … that was something she and I would always do. I walked over to her. She smiled but her eyes held questions and fears.
“Can I help you?”
Her eyes flitted down to my throat. “No, Fina. Just rest.”
I didn’t feel like resting. “Where are the others?”
“Your father and uncle are talking to Danilo in the office. Sofia will be here soon. She’ll be so happy to see you again.”
I smiled but my thoughts strayed to Danilo. My fiancé. My gaze fell to the engagement ring around my finger, and I shivered, remembering the look in Remo’s eyes when he’d slipped it on.
“I need to talk to Danilo,” I said quietly.
Mom put the plates down, searching my face. She didn’t ask why. Maybe she knew and could see it on my face. “Do that, sweetheart.”
I nodded and turned to head for Dad’s office. Samuel followed at my heel. “You’re not going to marry him, are you?”
I stopped in the hallway and peered up at my twin. There was no judgment in his voice, but there was relief. “I can’t.”
He touched my shoulder. “I’m here for you.”
“Won’t you have to go to Chicago to work with Dante?”
He shook his head, mouth thinning. “We decided against sending me away. Dad needs me here. We need to protect our territory.”
Me. They needed to protect me … and Sofia.
“I want to talk to Danilo alone, Sam.”
He frowned, protectiveness flashing in his eyes.
“Sam,” I said firmly. “I can handle it.”
I’d handled Remo for months. Nothing could scare me anymore. Maybe the same thought crossed Samuel’s mind because he nodded with a grimace.
“I’ll wait in the hallway,” he said, leaning against the wall beside the wooden door.
I knocked twice then walked in, not waiting for a reply.
My breath caught in my throat at the mess. Someone had thrown two book cases over. Ripped books and broken glasses. Dad’s beloved collection of whisky tumblers scattered the floor. The leather sofa was slashed, filling poking out everywhere.
Danilo had done this and nobody bothered to clean up afterward.
My eyes found my fiancé. He was controlled, so much like Dante that he probably couldn’t stand being compared to him anymore. I couldn’t imagine him doing this. His brown eyes latched onto mine, full of regret and anger.
“Dove?” Dad asked.
I cleared my throat, realizing he and Dante were staring at me as well.
“I’m sorry for disturbing you,” I said. “But I need to have a word with Danilo.”
Dad hesitated, his eyes flitting between my fiancé and me. Dante put a hand on his shoulder and eventually they both left. Danilo faced the window, his hands pressed into the wall on both sides.
The door closed with a soft click, and silence reigned in the room.
Danilo’s shoulders heaved. He was tall and muscular, but not quite like Remo.
“I …” I began but then didn’t know how to go on, how to explain that I was lost to him.
Danilo turned around slowly, a haunted expression on his face. He smiled but it was strained, tired, and behind it lurked something dark and broken. “Serafina,” he murmured. He took a step closer but stopped when I tensed. “I still want to marry you. If you want me.”
I regarded Danilo’s handsome face. He knew to hide his violence better than Remo. He was elegantly handsome, not brutally attractive like Remo. Remo. Always Remo. I own you.
“I’m not the girl you were promised anymore,” I whispered. “I’m … lost.”
He shook his head and came closer, but still not close enough to touch. “He will pay. In these last two months, I’ve spent every waking moment thinking about you, going crazy with worry and rage. Your family and I … we wanted to get you back … We failed …”
“It’s okay,” I said softly.
“And I don’t care that he … that you aren’t …” His face twisted with guilt and fury. “I still want to marry you, and you don’t have to be scared, Serafina. I won’t touch you until you’ve healed, until you want me to, I swear.”
I moved toward Danilo. We could have been happy. He would have been kind to me, as good a husband as a Made Man could be. I didn’t kid myself into thinking he wasn’t a monster, but he was a restrained one. I touched my palms to his chest and looked into his eyes. Something in them had changed from our last encounter two months ago. They were harsher, darker. My captivity had left its mark on him too.
“I can’t. I’m sorry,” I whispered. “You deserve someone else. Please find someone who deserves you.”
He regarded me, his jaw flexing. “From the moment I saw you the first time, I only wanted you.”
I lowered my eyes because from the moment Remo had laid eyes upon me, I had been his.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated.
He nodded slowly. I dropped my hands from his chest and stepped back. “Falcone got what he wanted, didn’t he?” he said hoarsely. “But your family and I will bring him down. We will destroy him.”
I shivered. I slid my engagement ring off my finger and handed it to Danilo. “Don’t waste your time on revenge, Danilo. Move on. Find someone else. Be happy.”
He shook his head, obviously fighting for control. “Revenge is all I want, and I won’t stop until I get it. Remo will curse the day he took you from me.”
Remo already did, but not for the reason Danilo wanted him to.
He left without another word. Swallowing hard, I leaned against the windowsill. This was it. I was no longer engaged … I was nothing. I was … ruined. In our circles, I was ruined. If I’d married Danilo, things might have been different, but now …
There was a soft knock and Mom entered, looking worried. I gave her a small smile, wanting to banish the hard line between her brows. “Danilo told me you don’t want to marry him.”
As if it was as easy as that. Wanting had little to do with it. I couldn’t because deep down I knew I needed to loosen Remo’s hold on my stupid heart before I could ever consider moving on.
I knew the rules of our world, even now they still bound me, bound my family. We had promised the Mancinis Dante’s niece, and now they wouldn’t get what they wanted, what they expected as the ruling family of Indianapolis. Maybe Danilo had accepted my decision but his father was still alive, sick and bedridden, but alive. He pulled the strings in the background. The Mancinis wouldn’t settle for just anyone as my replacement.
“I can’t,” I said quietly. “I can’t ever marry, Mom. Don’t make me.”
Mom rushed toward me and embraced me. “We won’t. Not me, not your father, not Dante. We all failed you horribly. You don’t ever have to marry, sweetheart, you can live with your father and me for as long as you wish.”
“Thank you, Mom,” I said, and even as I said it I knew it wasn’t what I wanted.
She pulled back, frowning. “Your uncle would like a word with you. I told him it’s still too soon, but he insists it’s necessary. Still, if you aren’t ready, I will stand up to him.”
Dread filled me but I shook my head. “It’s fine. I’ll talk to him.”
She gave a terse nod. “I’ll get him. He needs to return to Chicago tomorrow morning. He’s been gone for too long these last two months.”
She kissed my cheek before she left.
Dante stepped in a moment later, tall and controlled as always. He closed the door then paused, his cool blue eyes flickering to my throat where Remo’s marks had been—no longer visible, covered by layers of concealer, just like my traitorous feelings for him were covered up by stacks of lies. I flushed and touched my skin in shame.
“Don’t,” he said firmly.
I frowned. He moved toward me slowly, cautiously, as if he thought I might bolt. I lowered my hand from my throat when he came to a stop in front of me. “Don’t be ashamed for something forced upon you,” Dante said quietly, but his voice was off. It had a note to it I had never heard before. I searched my uncle’s eyes, but it was difficult to read him. He exuded control and power. But there was a flicker of regret and sadness in his gaze. “I don’t want to open up painful wounds, Serafina, but as the Boss of the Outfit, I need to know everything you know about the Camorra so I can bring them down and kill Remo Falcone.”
I swallowed, looking away. This war would become so much bloodier and crueler soon. As if that would undo my kidnapping. As if Remo’s death could change anything. But my family and Danilo needed to make amends for their guilt. Nothing I could say would change that.
“I don’t think I know anything that will help you.”
“Every small detail helps. Habits. The dynamic between the brothers. Remo’s weaknesses. The layout of the mansion.”
Remo’s weakness. His brothers. Remo’s biggest weakness may be his only one.
“Remo doesn’t trust anyone but his brothers and Fabiano. He would die for them,” I whispered.
For some reason I felt almost guilty for revealing that to my uncle, as if I owed Remo loyalty, as if I owed him anything at all. He had kidnapped me and then let me go. I wasn’t sure what made me hate him more.
“Apart from the family, only Fabiano and Leona are allowed inside the mansion, and occasionally cleaners. Remo keeps a knife and a gun close at all times. He’s a light sleeper …” I froze, falling silent.
My skin burned at what I’d just revealed, but Dante only regarded me calmly. No judgment or anger. I still had to lower my gaze from his because his understanding made me feel even worse. He didn’t know I’d come freely into Remo’s bed, enjoyed not only the sex but also the tenderness afterwards. It was a side of Remo no one knew and that he had showed it to me meant more to me than it should.
Could I reclaim what was lost? I began shaking, overwhelmed with the situation, with my feelings.
“Serafina,” Dante said firmly, touching my shoulder. I raised my eyes to his and shook even worse, overcome with the need to spill everything but not brave enough. I pressed myself against my uncle, and he touched the back of my head in comfort.
“What am I going to do? How will I belong again? Everyone will look at me with disgust.”
Dante’s body coiled tighter. “If anyone does, you’ll let me know, and I’ll deal with them.”
I nodded.
“And you never stopped belonging. You are part of the Outfit, part of this family, nothing changed.”
Everything did. Worst of all, I had.
When we finally emerged, Samuel took his place as my shadow again. We were on our way into the dining room when the front door opened. One of our bodyguards stepped in, and then Sofia shot inside. Her wide eyes landed on me, and she stormed off in my direction. She collided with me, and I would have fallen backward if Samuel hadn’t steadied me.
“You’re back!” Sofia hugged my middle tightly, and I rested my chin on top of her head, smiling. When I pulled back, her eyes were alight with happiness despite the tears in them. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too, ladybug.”
I wondered how much she knew, how much my parents and Samuel had divulged or had been unable to hide from her.
Valentina entered with her two kids, Anna and Leonas. Anna was around Sofia’s age, and they loved each other dearly. They were not just cousins but best friends despite the distance between them. Leonas was almost eight and the spitting image of Dante, except for the eyes. Anna and Leonas gave their mother a questioning look, and she nodded before they came toward me as well. I hugged them, though it proved difficult because Sofia continued to cling to my arm. Anna and Sofia sometimes were mistaken for sisters because their hair color was similar.
Valentina was the last to greet me. Her embrace was gentle as if I was breakable but I gave her a firm smile.
“We can have dinner,” Mom said with a brave smile of her own. With the kids around, she wouldn’t burst into tears again nor would anyone else.
Conversation flowed easily at the dining table. Too easily. I could tell everyone was trying to create normalcy for my sake and their own. Danilo wasn’t there. I assumed he wanted to be alone after I’d broken off our engagement, and he wasn’t part of the family and now he’d never be.
It was strange being surrounded by my family again. I sat between my siblings, both of them eager to be close to me, but my thoughts kept straying to Las Vegas, to Remo.
“How was Las Vegas?” Leonas blurted when we were done with dessert, a decadent chocolate cake, my favorite.
“Leonas,” Dante said sharply.
My cousin flushed, realizing his mistake.
I took a sip from my water then shrugged. “Not worth visiting if you ask me.”
Leonas giggled, and my family relaxed again. Samuel squeezed my hand under the table. Maybe I could find my way back to them.
It felt strange being back in my own bed. I had trouble falling asleep. Too much had happened. This morning I’d woken in Las Vegas with Remo, and now I was here.
The door opened and Samuel slipped in. I made room for him in the bed.
“Awake?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah.” I didn’t elaborate. He lay down on the covers on his back. “What about you?”
Samuel was quiet for a couple of heartbeats. “I was in a late night meeting with Dante and Dad.”
“Oh,” I said. “About your plans to get revenge on the Camorra?”
Samuel swallowed audibly. “No. Not that. It was about Danilo. His father isn’t happy about the state of things.”
Worry overcame me. What if they married me off to him despite everything? What if his family insisted on being given Dante’s niece?
“Sam,” I whispered, and he reached for me in the dark, his hand covering mine.
“Dad promised Sofia to him.”
I froze. “She’s a child.”
Samuel sighed. “They will marry the day after her eighteenth birthday.”
“That’s still six and a half years away.”
I could feel Samuel nod. “They think Danilo is still young and busy taking control over Indianapolis and taking care of his father. He can wait.” He paused. “And it’s not like he can’t keep himself busy with other women until then.”
I closed my eyes. “What will Sofia say? It’s my fault. I should just marry him.”
“No,” Samuel growled. “We won’t let you. That’s a point we all agree on, Fina. You won’t be given in marriage to anyone. You’ve gone through enough. You’ll stay here until you feel better.”
“And then?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. I couldn’t live on my own. As a woman that wasn’t an option. They’d have to marry me off or I’d have to stay with Mom and Dad forever.
“You come live with me eventually.”
I laughed. “Yeah right. I’m sure your future wife will be ecstatic to have me under the same roof.”
“She’ll do as I say,” he murmured.
I fell silent. “Once you marry, it’s your duty to protect her, to be good to her, Sam. I won’t be your responsibility anymore.”
“I’m not going to marry anytime soon, not with the way things are developing with the Camorra.”
“When will Sofia find out?”
“Dad will talk to her tomorrow first thing in the morning. Danilo insists on it. He also insists we up the number of guards.”
“He doesn’t want history to repeat itself, I suppose,” I said softly.
Samuel stiffened. I pinched him lightly. “Stop it.”
“Why did you do that?”
“Because you were feeling guilty again, and I want you to stop. I want things to go back to how they were before.”
“I want that too,” Samuel said. We both knew it wouldn’t be that easy.
Samuel was already gone when I woke the next morning. He’d always been a late riser, but that, too, seemed to have changed. I slipped out of bed and dressed before I left my room. Instead of heading downstairs, I moved down the hallway to Sofia’s room and knocked. My stomach tightened painfully.
“Come in!” she called.
Frowning at her chipper tone, I slipped in. Sofia lay on her stomach, her ankles crossed. She was drawing. When she spotted me, she flushed. I walked toward her and perched on the edge of the bed. Her arms covered her drawing, and I tilted my head.
“I wanted to talk to you about Danilo. I assume Dad already talked to you?”
She gave a tentative nod, biting her lip. “Are you mad at me?”
“Mad?” I echoed, confused.
“Because Danilo wants to marry me now and not you.”
The tightness left my chest. That was what they told Sofia. Good. I regarded her closely. “No. I’m not. I want you to be happy. Are you okay?”
She bit her lip again and gave a small nod. With an embarrassed smile, she pulled her hand away from her drawing. It was her name and Danilo’s over and over again.
Surprise washed over me. “You like him?”
Her cheeks blasted with heat. “I’m sorry. I liked him even when you were promised to him. He’s cute and chivalrous.”
I kissed the top of her head. Was I this innocent once? This hopeful and clueless?
I pulled back and gave her a stern look. “He’s a grown man, Sofia. It’ll be many years before you’ll marry him. He won’t come anywhere near you until then.”
She nodded. “I know. Dad told me.” She sounded disappointed. So beautifully innocent. I stroked her hair.
“So we’re okay?” she asked.
“Better than okay,” I said then stood and left my little sister to her daydreaming. I missed the days when I thought a knight in shining armor riding a white stallion would steal my first kiss.
Instead a monster had claimed me, body and soul.
My stomach led me downstairs, but I paused when I spotted Danilo in the foyer. I assumed he’d gone over the details of his engagement to my sister with my parents and Dante. For some reason, I was furious. Sofia might be happy, but she didn’t know the extent of her promise. Of course she would have been promised to someone eventually but not as a consolation prize because the Mancinis wanted Dante’s niece.
I walked straight toward him. His face flickered with regret and self-hatred as he looked at me. “Sofia is a girl. How could you agree to that bond, Danilo?”
His expression flashed with anger. “She is a child. Too young for me. She’s my sister’s age for God’s sake. But you know what’s expected. And we won’t marry until she’s of age. I never touched you and I won’t touch her.”
“You should have chosen someone else. Not Sofia.”
Tension shot through his body. “I didn’t choose her. I chose you. But you were taken from me, and now I have no choice but to marry your sister even though it’s you I want!”
A sharp intake of breath made us both look up at Sofia, who was standing on the highest stair, watching us with wide hurt eyes. Her chin wobbled and she whirled around, storming off.
“Damn it,” Danilo muttered. He made a move as if to follow, but I grabbed his arm.
“What are you doing?”
“I should talk to her.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Danilo pulled back, his expression back to being controlled, calm, poised. “I should apologize.”
“I’m not sure she’ll talk to you. But we can try,” I said quietly. I led him upstairs, trying to ignore the way his eyes lingered on my throat. I hadn’t covered the marks this morning.
I pointed at Sofia’s door, and Danilo knocked firmly.
“Go away!”
“Sofia,” Danilo said calmly. “Can I talk to you?”
It was silent behind the door for a long time. Danilo’s brows drew together.
“She’s probably trying to clean up her face so you don’t see her tears.”
He gave a small nod and again glanced at my throat. I sighed and looked away.
“I will protect her. I won’t fail her like I failed you,” Danilo muttered.
My eyes shot up but the door opened in that moment. Sofia stood in the doorway, looking shy and embarrassed. Her eyes moved from Danilo to me, and I gave her a smile.
She flushed when she raised her eyes to Danilo.
“Can I talk to you for a moment?” he asked.
Sofia looked at me for permission.
“Sure,” I said. I knew custom forbade girls from being alone with men, but Sofia was eleven and Danilo had always been a perfect gentleman with me.
Sofia walked back into her room and perched on her plush pink sofa. Danilo followed her inside, leaving the door open. His eyes took in her pink girly room, and I could see how uncomfortable he was. He sank down on the sofa with as much distance between them as the piece of furniture allowed. He looked out of place in the room, like a giant beside her. The contrast couldn’t have been bigger: Sofia in her pink dress with her boisterous nature, and Danilo in his black pants and black dress shirt with his cool demeanor. He had already seemed so much older to me, but in comparison to Sofia?
Not that she seemed to mind. She was peering up at him with so much childish adoration that even my crushed heart sang with joy. I hoped she could hold on to it for a long time. I took a few steps back and gave them a moment of privacy. Two minutes later, Danilo stepped back out. He ran a hand through his dark hair. His eyes met mine, and again I saw the flash of longing and fury.
“And?”
He gave a terse nod. “I think I managed to convince her I said those things to make it easier for you.”
“Good,” I said.
Danilo shook his head, his brows drawing together. “Nothing is good about this situation, Serafina, and I’m surprised that from all of us you are the one who seems to be dealing with it the best.”
I stiffened. “I just want things to return to normal. That’s all.”
He nodded tiredly. “They won’t, but I understand. I need to go now.” He left without another word. I waited until his tall form had disappeared before I stepped into Sofia’s room. “Everything okay?”
She was still sitting on the sofa, staring down at her hands. “I think so,” she said thoughtfully.
“You will be the most beautiful bride, I just know it.”
Her eyes lit up. “You think?”
“I know it.” My chest ached for what I’d lost, for what I could never have, especially not with the man who had my heart.
