Sometimes, a highly critical and deeply judgemental voice plays in my head, providing a narration I absolutely do not want. He’s there right now.
Jesus, he’s going to have phone sex with this far-too-young woman when his wife is barely cold in the ground. He’s fucking pathetic. He doesn’t realise what a joke he is.
I shake my head to lessen its hold. Of course what I have with Mads can be spun in a million ways, and of course I judge myself for what we’re doing far more harshly than anyone else could judge me, but I know it’s not like that with us. I refuse to let my inner critic belittle it. Belittle us.
Besides, I’ve spent the entire day with Mads, and yet it’s only when she’s left that I can get her naked. The irony is not lost on me. This situation we’re in needs to change.
I hit the call button on my FaceTime app, and up she pops. Her smile is instantly seductive.
‘Hi! I’m Candy, your cam-girl for the night. Can’t wait to get started. I hope you have something nice and big for me.’
I laugh. She’s incorrigible. ‘Candy, you seem like a lovely woman, but I’d actually like this to be between me and my secret girlfriend. Is she there, please?’
The smile drops right off her beautiful face. She actually looks shell-shocked.
‘I’m not your girlfriend.’
‘I said secret girlfriend,’ I remind her.
‘But all we’re doing is fucking.’ She bites down on her lip, and I wait. ‘I mean—we talk, and stuff,’ she continues. ‘But I thought this was just physical.’
‘If it feels purely physical to you, that’s okay,’ I say carefully. ‘It’s not for me. Not now.’
I realise this is a little out of left field, but kissing Maddy in my home this evening felt right. Having her around the girls felt right. Just as right as making her come on my desk or fucking her up against a wall at work.
And honestly, if she tells me it’s just physical between us, then she’s deluding herself.
She sighs. ‘God, Zach.’
Again, I wait.
‘It’s not just physical,’ she admits finally, her eyes huge and emotion-filled on the small screen. I nod and smile my approval. That’s my girl.
‘No,’ I say quietly. ‘It’s not.’
‘I didn’t think you wanted a girlfriend,’ she says.
‘I didn’t think so, either,’ I tell her. ‘And then I started spending time with you.’
Her entire face lights up.
‘I didn’t want to let you go this evening,’ I tell her honestly.
‘I didn’t want to go,’ she says in a small voice. ‘I felt so shit as soon as I turned the key in my lock. My flat’s so dark and empty. But how would it even work?’
‘How about,’ I say, ‘I take you out for dinner very soon, so we can have a proper conversation about this? And meanwhile, I make you feel less empty. Do you have any toys you can use on yourself?’
She rolls her eyes. The Maddy I know and love is back. ‘Duh. Obviously.’
‘Excellent.’ I sit back against my pillows. ‘Now put the phone somewhere I can get a good view from and take off your dress for me.’
She flashes a cat-like smile. Seconds later, she’s backing away from the phone. ‘Good?’
‘Good,’ I tell her. I cross my arms over my chest and settle down for the show.
Off comes her belt. Then she bends and, crossing her arms, pulls her dress up over her head. She tosses her hair as it comes off, and I grin at the sight that is Maddy standing in her bedroom in a sheer mesh underwear set.
All for me.
‘Jesus, look at you,’ I say. ‘You’re so fucking sexy. Look at those tits. God, I wish I was there so I could brush my thumbs over your nipples and make you crazy.’
She lifts her hands and rubs her nipples. ‘Like this?’ she asks on a groan.
‘Fuck, yes.’
‘I wish you were here,’ she says. ‘I need your mouth on these nipples, like, yesterday.’
‘Take it off,’ I growl. I’m already rock hard. My eyes are glued to the screen as she reaches around and unhooks her bra, letting its straps slide off her shoulders.
‘Perfect,’ I say. She really, really is. She’s not smirking, and she looks more vulnerable this way. Her eyes are needy. ‘Now,’ I say, ‘take a step back and slide that thong down.’
She hooks her thumbs into the waistband and loses the thong, stepping out of it daintily before kicking it to the side with her toe. Then she puts her hands on her hips and sashays towards me.
‘You know, if you get fired from Alchemy for fucking the boss, the cam-girl thing’s not a bad call,’ I tell her. ‘You’re worryingly good at this.’
Her mouth twitches. Those luscious tits are on full display for me, and I allow myself a luxurious stroke of my dick through my pyjama bottoms as I imagine the now-familiar ecstasy of sliding my face over them. Of rolling those pretty little nipples around with my tongue.
Between my teeth.
‘You need to lose that t-shirt, French,’ she tells me. ‘Or my clothes go back on.’
I smirk and toss the phone on the bed so I can tug my t-shirt off. I pick it up and show her. ‘Better?’
She smiles as I pan down my body with my phone. ‘Show me how much I’m turning you on.’
I shrug. ‘You’re not doing it for me yet,’ I lie. ‘I’ll need to see your fingers disappear into your pussy for anything to happen.’
‘Oh, it’s okay,’ she whispers, eyes wide. ‘At your age, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I’ll bring some little blue pills next time I see you.’
‘You cheeky little shit,’ I say, tilting the phone so she can see me reach under my bottoms and pull out my monster erection. ‘No Viagra needed here. Not with you looking like that.’
Her laugh turns to a groan as I give it a slow pump before panning back up to my face. ‘It’s not fair, Zach,’ she whimpers. ‘I want to suck your dick so badly it’s not even funny.’
I’ve never had FaceTime sex, not even when Claire was away. It should be excruciating, but with this wonderfully shameless little minx in front of me I have no chance of being anything but incredibly turned on.
‘What would you do if you were here right now?’ I ask her.
She licks her lips. ‘I’d run my mouth over your dick and smear that pre-cum everywhere. Then I’d use it to lube up my nipples. Then I’d get too excited and start sucking you properly, but I’d probably need to get myself off at the same time because I wouldn’t be able to wait.’
‘Jesus,’ I breathe. ‘You wouldn’t need to get yourself off because I’d be all over you like a fucking rash. Slide your fingers through your pussy, sweetheart, and imagine it’s me.’
‘I’m getting on the bed,’ she manages. She grabs the phone and then she’s reclining on her bed, her dark hair falling across her pillows. It’s such an incredible sight it makes me catch my breath.
‘If I had you here underneath me like that, sweetheart, I would fuck you so hard,’ I tell her. ‘Now, show me how you wish I could touch you.’
She holds the phone further away, and I catch a glimpse of her fingers disappearing behind that sharp strip of hair. She gasps.
‘Move the phone down further,’ I bark. ‘And hold yourself open for me. I want to see exactly what I’m missing.’
She obliges, and holy fuck. My screen fills with the most delectable view of her pretty pink pussy. I can see from the way her fingers are gliding through the flesh that she’s already soaking. I shove my pyjama bottoms down in one hurried movement and wrap my hand around my cock.
‘That’s it,’ I tell her through gritted teeth. ‘But you know what I’d do if I was there, don’t you?’
There’s an audible sigh.
‘What would I do, Mads, if I was there?’ I ask in my sternest tone.
‘You’d edge me and edge me, you sadistic fucker,’ she throws back, and I laugh hard.
‘Good girl. Exactly.’
‘Lucky you’re not here, then,’ she retorts, sliding her fingers through her greedy folds again. The sight of her touching herself is so salacious, and the knowledge that I’m arousing her this much so heady, that I practically shoot my load there and then.
‘You may have a point about not being able to hold off,’ I admit.
‘Show me,’ she purrs. ‘I want to see exactly what I’m missing.’
Having my own words thrown right back at me makes me even harder, I swear. It’s so hot, but so fucking shit, to know we’d both give anything in this moment to be together. To be working each other, fingers sliding lasciviously over hard, swollen flesh. I aim the phone down at my dick as I pump my shaft, showing her exactly how hard she makes me.
‘New challenge,’ I say. ‘Forget trying to last, sweetheart. Just show me how good you are at making yourself come. Where are your toys?’
She pans back up to her face, which has arousal written all over it, and I smile dreamily at her. ‘Hi.’
‘Hi.’ She returns the smile. ‘I don’t know if I can hold the phone and use the—oh, hang on. I’ve got just the thing.’
The phone drops to the bed again, and there are some scrabbling noises before she’s back in view, triumphantly holding aloft some kind of double-headed vibrator with one long part and one shorter extension.
‘What’s that you’ve got?’ I ask, my voice deceptively calm.
She brandishes it in front of her face. ‘The big bit goes inside me, and the other bit goes on my clit. It doesn’t feel as good as you, but you know. Needs must.’
‘Have you ever thought about me when you’ve used it?’ I ask.
She laughs her gorgeous tinkling laugh. ‘Far too much.’
‘Good.’ The thought of her lying there, making herself climax with that thing while she imagined it was me tending to her pussy is so fucking hot. I exhale sharply through my nostrils before I ask the next question.
‘Did you imagine it was me before anything had happened between us?’
She nods, and my heart constricts.
‘When?’ I push.
‘A few times. You know when you came to Rafe’s with the girls, and you stripped off down to your shorts?’
‘Yeah,’ I rasp. ‘That fucking bikini.’
‘I was eye-fucking you all afternoon, and then I came home and used this.’
Jesus. I knew the tension between us ramped up several notches that day. ‘Pretty sure I exploded all over my shower that evening,’ I admit. ‘Show me, sweetheart. Make yourself come for me.’
She pulls the phone away again and holds it over her body. ‘I’m getting arm-ache.’
‘I’ll come over at the weekend and install cameras all over your bedroom ceiling if that helps,’ I offer. I watch in extreme gratification as she turns the toy on. ‘Do you lube it up?’
‘Sometimes. I don’t need to now, and I want a little friction.’
She slides the longer wand inside her. It’s only a fraction of the size I am, but I suppose I can’t make my dick vibrate like that can, so hopefully it’ll give her what she needs. The smaller node finds her clit, and she rubs. Her body’s reaction to the toy is instantaneous, judging from the way her entire pelvis is rocking against it.
‘I wish you were here to touch my nipples,’ she whimpers.
I wish I was there to touch every fucking part of her.
‘Put the phone down,’ I tell her. ‘Touch whatever you need to touch.’
‘But that’s not fair to you,’ she manages. I love hearing the strain in her voice as the toy does what I can’t.
‘If I can’t be there, I want it to feel as good as it can. Seriously. Put it down. You can talk me through it instead.’
‘Okay.’ She drops the phone, and there’s a hum of pleasure.
I put mine down too. ‘You touching your nipples?’
‘Mmm-hmm.’
‘Pinch them hard, one at a time. Roll them around between your fingers.’
The heavenly noises at the back of her throat grow louder. ‘What are you doing?’ she pants.
‘Stroking my cock. Wishing it was your pussy.’ I reach for a tube of moisturiser and squeeze some into my hand before smoothing it along my shaft. Fuck, that feels good. ‘Imagining I’m on top of you and I’m fucking you really, really hard.’
‘God, I wish you were too,’ she says. ‘Like earlier, when you rammed up inside me so hard. Every time you thrust, I nearly lost it.’
‘Imagine it’s happening again right now,’ I grit out.
‘I’d be a lot fuller if you were here,’ she says.
‘I know, sweetheart.’ I’m working myself hard now, with slick, powerful pumps of my hand. My dick is so fucking hard, and if my balls were any more taut they’d snap off. ‘How’s that pussy doing?’ I ask.
‘My clit is so swollen,’ she whimpers. ‘This thing is amazing. It’s pulsing exactly where I need it, and it’s just—God.’
‘You close?’
‘Yeah.’
I can tell by her voice just how close she is. ‘Let’s come together,’ I say.
‘Okay.’ She can barely get the words out. Her moans grow louder, more rhythmical, and I can only imagine how slippery and swollen that pussy of hers is right now. I’d give anything to be sliding my fingers and my cock through her slick flesh, but I settle for the punishing pace of my hand.
‘Imagine I’m fucking you.’
Stroke.
‘You’re on all fours and I have your wrists bound.’
‘Oh my God,’ she cries.
Stroke.
‘I’m slamming into you so hard, and I’m playing with your clit, and all you can do is hang on for dear life and just take me.’
Stroke.
‘Over and over.’
She sucks in a sharp breath through her teeth. ‘Fuck, yes.’
‘Jesus, Mads,’ I say. ‘I’m going to blow.’
She’s practically weeping now, her cries fevered. ‘Me too. My—God. God. Oh—fuck—Zach, I’m coming.’
The sounds of her pleasure send my own orgasm powering over the edge. I grab my t-shirt and pump hot, endless, pained spurts of cum into it, cursing as quietly as I can as my mind and body free-fall into oblivion.
We’re both quiet for a few moments as we come down from our waves of pleasure.
Mads blows out a long breath. ‘Pick up the phone.’
I do, and I’m treated to the most gorgeous view of her post-orgasm smile. Her skin is flushed, her eyes look sleepy and heavy-lidded, and those lips are begging for me to devour them. With her dark hair strewn across the pillow, she’s post-coital perfection.
‘You were amazing,’ I deadpan, and she laughs up at me.
‘You were, too.’
‘Curl onto your side for me,’ I tell her.
She does, and I do the same.
‘If I was there,’ I whisper, ‘I’d curl in behind you as tightly as I could, and I’d wrap you in my arms and suffocate in your hair while you fell asleep using my bicep as a pillow.’
‘I’d like that,’ she says. Her face is soft. Open. Trusting.
‘I need to spend a night with you.’ I need far more than one night, but let’s start with that.
‘How would that even work with your girls?’ she wants to know.
‘Another agenda item for our dinner,’ I say with a grin.
‘Wow. This’ll be a productive date,’ she says.
‘It will.’ I slide a hand under my cheek. ‘But first, sleep. Goodnight, sweetheart.’
