Nat sat in the old car Caleb had worked so hard for over the summer a couple years ago. All so he could drive her. So she wouldn’t have to walk in the cold snow anymore or the freezing wind. So he could have his hand on her knee below the view through the windows. So he could slip it up her skirt…
She shifted in the seat, trying to think of something else. Something that wouldn’t make her feel as guilty as she’d been feeling for the past week.
She should not be feeling guilty. It was perfectly rational—perfectly normal—for her to not want to have sex with an animal! Why was she even worrying about this? Caleb was spoiled. He always got his way and, well, he would just have to learn there were some things he could not have!
But his face when she’d said that to him… She hadn’t realized immediately. She’d been too busy being horrified at what she was hearing—horrified that she was getting wet—until she’d looked over her shoulder to glare at him.
He didn’t cry often, and every other time she’d seen tears in his eyes, it had been for her. Because he was worried about her being hurt. But this time…this time she had cut him. And he’d just stared at her, his lips slightly apart, his brows lifted the smallest bit…and his eyes wet. Like she’d torn out his heart.
But before she could say anything, he’d shifted and run off. And by the time she saw him again, she’d gotten mad all over again remembering what he’d done. And he was the one to run away?
Nat kicked the hot dashboard while she waited, hanging one foot outside the open window, careful not to let it touch the burning metal. She would have loved to turn on the air conditioning, but it used up gas and they tried to make their summer pay last as long into the year as possible. Caleb needed time for sports and he insisted she be with him, so neither of them took jobs through the school year. But he always made sure to have the gas money to drive. For her.
She shifted in the seat again, the thoughts rushing back to torture her. How could he think she would be willing to do that? She was human! And she liked kissing him as a human. Touching him as a human. What was he even thinking?
A whimper left her throat as the guilt poured into her, and she covered her face with her hands, groaning and leaning back. And jumped with a small shriek when a hand lifted her ankle and the door flew open.
Caleb pulled her out and into his arms before she could say a word, crushing her to him and burying his face in her neck. She melted into him, clinging fiercely.
They stood that way a long while, their breathing a bit erratic. Long past the point where Nat remembered they were standing in the school parking lot, visible to everyone heading home after practice.
Let them talk. She was eighteen now. No one could break them apart. And there was no way she was putting any more distance between them after the week they’d had. Not talking. Not sleeping together. Not touching.
She clutched him harder, and his arms tightened around her.
“Caleb,” she whispered, leaning on his shoulder and stroking the hair at the base of his neck. “What I said last week…I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”
“Yes you did,” he muttered into her.
She shook her head.
“No, I didn’t.” A deep sigh left her, and she let his glossy locks slip between her fingers. “I was panicking.”
He stilled.
“Why? I wouldn’t have forced you. I would never, ever do that.” He pulled back to look down at her, his eyes serious. Firm. Intense.
She brushed his cheek softly, her eyes drinking him in.
“I know that. Although…you can be really insistent sometimes,” she said hesitantly, “And you knew I didn’t want you…licking me when…” Her cheeks flamed but she held his gaze. “When you’re not like this. You’re not the easiest to stop when you want something, you know.”
Caleb’s brow furrowed deeply.
“But it made you feel good.”
A small sound escaped her as she stared up at him helplessly.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Why not?”
She groaned and hid her face in his neck, and he exhaled in frustration. Then she felt him glance around.
“Get in the car,” he said in a hushed tone, pressing his lips to her head before muttering: “The last thing we need now is people nosing around.”
Nat pulled back to look up at him with a frown. Caleb never cared if they were caught. Her eyes roamed his face, finally noticing the small cut on his lip.
“What happened?” she breathed, reaching up to feather her fingertips around the edges, her breath catching when he captured one between his lips, his eyes locked on hers.
Her lashes lifted slowly to stare back at him, heat washing over her as he slid his tongue underneath, sucking her softly.
She was leaning toward him with heavy eyes when he groaned and reached down to put an arm behind her knees, buckling them and easing her back into the car.
“Stay,” he whispered with a light kiss before closing the door and hurrying around to the other side. By the time he’d gotten in, her brain was working a bit once more, and she held her hand up when he leaned forward.
“Wait! Tell me what happened!”
He looked like he might argue for a moment but just sighed and pulled her onto his lap instead, reaching over to roll up her window. Nat was so glad he’d thought to get a car with tinted glass.
The heat was oppressive without air flow, so he started the engine, turning the air conditioner on full blast before hugging her tightly while she curled up against him.
“Ethan’s a wolf.”
Nat stilled.
“What?”
“Ethan’s a wolf.”
She looked at him, his words forming the same sounds she’d heard before but they just didn’t make sense.
He exhaled and leaned back against the seat.
“We got in a fight. And before you start yelling at me,” he said with a light kiss on her lips. “He hit me first. Mostly.”
Nat blinked at him, yelling the farthest thing from her mind.
“A wolf? Are you sure?”
He nodded.
“Evidently his family knew my parents.”
Her lips parted in amazement.
“Wow. Little Ethan?”
A smile bloomed across Caleb’s face.
“Oh, and he thinks you’re a wolf.”
“Wha—what?” she laughed. Then she thought about it. “Well, I guess that makes sense. He must think we’re blood. But if he talks to anyone at all, it won’t take long for him to find out I was here a few years before you.”
She frowned.
“Caleb, when we met, you said your parents had rules. About not letting any humans know what you are. That they would have wanted you to kill me—“
“No, Nat. Never. I was just trying to defend what I’d done. They would never have wanted to hurt you.” He stroked her cheek, and her eyes softened.
“So it’s not really a rule? I mean, you don’t think Ethan or his family would want me dead?”
Caleb looked away in thought, a line growing between his brow. When he looked back, the worry in his eyes wasn’t reassuring.
“I’ll talk to him. Tell him you don’t know anything. Just…play dumb.” Caleb swallowed, tucking a long strand of hair behind her ear. “Maybe it’s a good thing he likes you after all.”
Nat’s brows lifted, and she bit back a smile.
“Caleb…he doesn’t like me.”
He frowned.
“Why is he always hanging out with you then?”
“Well,” she chewed the inside of her cheek. “I can’t be certain but…I’m pretty sure he’s into Preston.”
“What?” he laughed. “No. No, he has to be straight—he told me he has a mate. And mates have some big supernatural bond or something.”
The smile left his face immediately, and he looked away.
“Well, then why did you think he liked me?”
“Because…the mate thing is stupid,” he muttered, not meeting her eyes.
She tugged on his hair until he looked up, a confused grin on her face.
“Are you weirded out that he might be gay? Or maybe bi?”
“No, it’s not that. It’s…” He drew in a breath, hesitation in his eyes. Then he grew firm. “Nat, listen to me. It doesn’t matter. Whatever weird rules they have—whatever they expect. It doesn’t matter. I know who I am and what I want. And it will always be you. Forever.”
She stared at him, her smile faltering. The sound of the air blowing through the vents surrounded them, chilling her skin.
“What are you saying?” she asked in a small voice, an old dread she’d thought long gone growing inside.
“I’m saying it doesn’t matter. And…” he stared at her intently. “His sister was supposed to be my…mate.”
“Your mate,” she repeated, her eyes wide and dry on his.
“That’s what Ethan called it. I guess it makes sense for wolves.”
“Which I’m not…” she whispered.
“But you are my mate.”
Nat stared at him. At his beautiful, perfect face so full of intensity. So completely determined to do exactly what he wanted always.
Or thought he wanted.
“But you said…there’s a supernatural bond.”
Caleb ran a frustrated hand through his dark hair, his brows together while he stared at her.
“I don’t know. It’s how Ethan described it. But I do know that it doesn’t matter, Nat. Not to me. I don’t care what I ‘sense’ about someone I don’t know. Someone who isn’t you. A girl who…” he paused, his eyes growing soft as he stroked her hair back. “Who went hungry just so she could bring food to a starving wolf. Who used her fragile, small body to try to keep him safe. Whose gentle hands,” he brought her palm up to his lips, kissing it softly while he stared in her eyes, “fed him. Pet him. Made him feel not alone anymore…”
Tears burned in Nat’s eyes, but she just watched him.
“A girl who brought me into the world again. Gave me a life. Family. Home. A girl so beautiful…and so strong. So tiny but so fucking brave. And so deeply kind,” he whispered, cupping her cheek and rubbing away a tear, “and patient with a demanding, spoiled boy…who maybe is still a bit demanding sometimes.”
“And spoiled,” she whispered, and a smile touched his lips. But his eyes stayed serious on hers.
“How could anyone else ever mean anything close to what you have meant to me? I can’t lose you, Nat. I can’t. Not ever. I’d never feel whole without you. You’re my family. You,” he held her cheeks between both hands, staring into her eyes intently, “are my mate!”
Nat clung to his wrists and leaned her forehead against his, a shiver going through her. She wanted to believe him. Desperately. To believe that what they had was real for him. And that she wasn’t just the lucky person who found him. That she hadn’t stolen him from his own kind…
“And while we’re on the subject of mates…” He pulled back, cocking his jaw a bit and raising a brow. “Why won’t you mate with me?”
The spiral of self-recrimination she’d begun halted midstream.
“Are you seriously going to bring that up now after telling me you actually have a mate already?”
“Yes—because you are my mate, which you evidently completely ignored me saying, and I want to mate with you!” he glared at her, but his hands pulled her hips on his lap more firmly and his expression quickly switched to pleading. “Nat…I have something I can use now! Let me use it in you…”
He leaned into her neck, kissing her softly, and she made a sound of frustration. She was a human! And she wanted to be with him as a human—not…
She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close against her neck as she stared into the car, her eyes filling with worry and doubt. If she wanted to be with him—to keep him from one of his own kind—she might need to be a little more open minded.
A groan escaped her, and Caleb pulled back immediately.
“You’re thinking about it,” he breathed, his eyes roaming her face. She glared at him.
“It is super shitty of you to bring it up now! Now when I’m all worried about this other girl…not even a girl. Someone like you. Someone who can be what you need—“
“Nobody else can be what I need,” he broke in firmly. “And…if you say no…I’ll keep bothering you about it the rest of our lives but it won’t change anything, Nat! I’d rather be frustrated with you than whatever I would be with someone else.”
Her eyes glistened, and she glared at him harder.
“And now you’re just being wonderful! How is this fair? How can I keep saying no?”
His eyes were bright on hers, and his grip tightened.
“Are you saying yes?” he whispered.
“No!” She mock punched his chest, glaring one last moment before whimpering and falling forward on him to curl up in his lap. “I’m saying…you’re spoiled…and every time you go after me for something…I can never keep saying no…so…”
Her whimper turned into a groan as she pressed her face into his neck, feeling him holding his breath.
“So I know I probably will say yes,” she muttered, almost sulking.
“You will?” he asked hoarsely. “You mean it?”
“Maybe! Eventually! Just…don’t go crazy, okay? Let me…get used to…it.” She swallowed, torn between horror at what she was saying and a more horrible feeling between her legs.
“You like the idea…” The huskiness in his voice increased the pangs, and she smacked his chest again.
“I swear, Caleb, if you embarrass me about this, I will never say yes!”
“But why would you be embarrassed? Because you think I’m…gross?” he asked hesitantly, and she leaned up immediately to look at him, her eyes wide with concern.
“No! I told you—that was me panicking. You are perfect! So, so perfect! But…what if…what if I were the one turning into some other animal? Something you weren’t used to being? Like…a camel!” she said enthusiastically, and he eyed her with skepticism.
“You’re saying I’m like a camel to you?”
“No! You are missing the point! I’m just saying…imagine…I…wanted you…to have sex with me as…a camel. Or…a lion. Or any other animal besides a wolf!”
“But wolves are different.”
“Caleb—“
“Okay okay! I’m thinking!” he cut her off quickly as her temper flared. But a smile lurked at the corner of his mouth. “If it were you, and you wanted me…”
He pondered the question for a few moments before answering, so cocksure she nearly smacked him again.
“I would mate with you no matter what form you were in. You could be a—a ball of slime! And I’d just hold you really carefully and—”
“That’s disgusting!”
He grinned, leaning in to kiss her, his smile fading as his tongue slipped between her lips.
“I’ll go slow and let you get used to it first. I promise,” he whispered, his hand sliding up her thigh under her skirt. “I’ll start with licking you. I can do so much more with my tongue that way, Nat. And I can feel it with you.”
His voice grew husky when she trembled, and he pushed aside her panties to slide a finger down her wet slit. She clenched around him when he pushed it inside her, his thumb rubbing her clit in slow circles.
“It doesn’t hurt anymore as a wolf. Something changed. Like…I broke through some barrier. And when you came when I licked you before…” He buried his hand in her hair to hold her head steady when she whimpered, keeping her where he could kiss her between words. “I needed to be inside you. I needed it so much…”
“You’re going to shift,” she said with a crying groan, pressing against his hand helplessly.
“Yes,” he whispered. “And I’m going to push my tongue deep inside you and lap your clit until you cum over and over. I’m going to mount you and rub my cock up and down right here,” he stroked his thumb through her slick folds, “until you’re as desperate to feel it inside you as I am.”
Nat gasped into his mouth as he pressed hard deep inside of her—only for him to push her onto the seat beside him with a small cry, tearing his clothes off an instant before he shifted.
Nat whined along with him as his enormous form barely fit on the long bench seat. Feeling a little shaky, she moved to the side to give him room until he could shift back, but her breath caught as she saw the large, pink cock at his center. She stared wide eyed, and Caleb froze, staring back at her.
Neither of them moved for a long time.
“Will that even…fit?” she whispered at last, her eyes lifting to his, and she swallowed when he answered with a growl.
She looked around. The windows were dark but they weren’t a replacement for solid walls around them. Her gaze narrowed, and she peered out more carefully at a shadowy form in a car across the lot.
“Caleb…isn’t that Ethan’s car? Are wolf eyes good enough to see through the tinted glass?”
Caleb leaned closer to her and looked out, his muzzle above her shoulder. She glanced at him when he shifted.
“Yes,” he said grimly, his eyes fixed on the car. “Yes, they are.”
“Stay here.”
Nat watched while Caleb threw on his clothes once more and yanked open the door to climb out. She stared for just one moment when he slammed it before scrambling out after him.
“Nat!” he hissed across the roof of the car, pausing to lean across it and glower at her.
“What’s the point of me hiding now?” she whispered back. “Besides, I have some questions, and I’d feel more comfortable asking while you’re there…”
She fidgeted behind the car, not too sure of her chosen path. Ethan seemed nice, but Caleb said he’d thrown the first punch in their fight. He was a wolf, and what did she really know of their kind? Maybe Caleb was completely unique. But she wanted to know about this mate thing—without it getting filtered through Caleb.
“The point is that I don’t want you anywhere near any other wolves! Just let me handle this.”
Nat chewed her lip but walked around the car, her eyes never leaving his.
“No,” she said with wide eyes, standing beside him.
He stared down at her, his arm on the top of the car, his jaw flexing, before taking a swift look around the parking lot. Her hands flew to his shoulders when he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her up to him, planting a firm kiss on her lips.
“You are the most frustrating, stubborn girl,” he whispered, and Nat pressed her lips together, her eyes bright. Turning towards Ethan’s car, Caleb raised his voice to a normal level. “Well? Are you going to make me come over there and get you?”
They watched as the door to a sporty looking BMW opened and a rather hesitant looking Ethan appeared. He walked over slowly, his eyes moving back and forth between the two of them, but he lowered his head once he got near, glancing up at Caleb in wary confusion.
“You planning on running to tell daddy this, too?” Caleb demanded, and Nat looked at him in surprise. She supposed she should have asked more about their conversation before, but Caleb could be so very distracting sometimes…
“I told you. He’s the alpha.”
“So, what—he has some type of magical lie detector?”
Ethan frowned.
“No. It’s just…he’s the alpha. You don’t understand. You don’t hide things from your alpha. I’d just get nervous, no matter how much I tried to hide it, and he’d either see it or catch the scent. Maybe both.”
“Sounds like you’re just daddy’s boy to me.”
“I’m not!” His face grew a bit red, and he faced Caleb more directly. “There are rules you have to follow!”
Caleb waved a hand dismissively, keeping an arm tightly around Nat’s waist.
“Rules are for sheep. I thought you were a wolf.”
“You only say that because you’ve been able to run free—you don’t have a pack.”
“I have one. And she can be a little bossy at times,” he didn’t look down when Nat made a face at him, “but I do what needs to be done.”
Ethan snorted.
“A human is not a pack,” he said snootily before blanching at Caleb’s expression. “Look, you’re the alpha in your…pack. You don’t have to worry about anything!”
Caleb raised a brow and bit the inside of his cheek, finally looking down at Nat.
“What do you think?”
“I think you like to think you’re the boss,” she said, crossing her arms, still slightly peeved at his bossy comment. “And you’re spoiled. And anytime I don’t let you do absolutely everything you want, you say I’m bossy!”
He grinned down at her and turned back to Ethan, whose brow was growing more deeply furrowed as he watched them.
“See? I have to walk on eggshells.” He tickled Nat’s ribs as he said it, but stopped and pressed her tight against his side when she started to struggle to get away. His voice turned stern again. “But I still make my own decisions. So explain to me why you can’t.”
Ethan stared at him for just a moment.
“Because my dad would kill me.” His voice was flat.
“And what do you think I’ll do to you if you put her in danger,” Caleb said softly, his eyes narrowing.
Ethan dropped his eyes again, confusion once more pulling his brow.
“Ethan,” Nat began, squeezing Caleb when it felt like he was going to interrupt her. “Would your dad want to hurt me? Do…do you want to hurt me? What are these rules you have to follow?”
He lifted wary eyes to hers, shifting uncertainly to Caleb in question. Nat grimaced when he waited for Caleb’s nod to begin talking.
“I don’t want to hurt you. But my dad…if he knew Vick’s mate was…how are you even able to want her?” he finally blurted out with a red face, turning back to Caleb in helpless frustration. “That isn’t supposed to be possible!”
Nat swallowed. It wasn’t? Did that mean…had she damaged him?
She glanced at Caleb to see him looking at Ethan darkly.
“Why not?”
“Because you have a mate! You’re only supposed to be able to want her! Being close to someone else that way is supposed to make you sick!”
Nat’s stomach sank as she looked back at Ethan. She was sorry she’d insisted on talking to him. Sorry she had ever talked to him at all.
All the years of pain Caleb had experienced with her….the thousands of times he’d shifted because it had hurt too badly as a human to be near her…
He didn’t belong to her. He never had.
She didn’t want to look at Caleb. She didn’t want to see the same devastation in his eyes that was crushing her. But she forced back the nausea and turned toward him once again…to see him lifting a brow and smirking.
“Well. I guess this proves your rules are wrong.”
