“Nat?” Caleb could barely get her name past the lump in his throat. The sickness in his gut twisted and curled, and all he wanted to do was crush her in his arms and never let go.
But she had turned her back to him the moment she saw him, hiding her face against Preston. Lying on the bed with Preston. Clinging to him. Flanked by Ethan on the edge of the bed.
He stepped forward on shaky legs, a band tightening around his chest…ready to break him.
“Nat…” He reached the side of the bed and sank to his knees slowly, wanting so desperately to touch her. Needing so desperately to touch her…
Swallowing, he moved his hand to her back, his gut almost doubling him over when she flinched. He sat trembling, resting his hand beside her, feeling her heat.
“Talk to me,” he whispered. “Please talk to me.”
“What am I supposed to say, Caleb?” The tears in her voice tore his heart out, but she kept her face turned away, lying on Preston’s chest.
“It’s not…” It’s not what it looked like. The line he’d heard too many boys say or too many girls complain they’d heard. But it wasn’t. It wasn’t at all. “Nat…”
Tears choked him.
He saw her draw a shuddering breath and swallow before speaking in a shaky voice.
“It’s not your fault. I know that. But…but you shouldn’t have had me cross that line with you,” she said turning at last, her eyes wet with unshed tears. “I trusted you to know what you wanted, even though—“
“I do know, Nat!” he cried out, reaching for her and ignoring her flinch this time. He leaned over her, stroking her hair from her face as she stared up at him, struggling not to let her tears fall. “Nothing has changed!”
“Everything has changed, Caleb! I saw you!” she cried.
He looked down at her, his lips parted in agonized helplessness.
“It’s not what you think, Nat! I know how it looks. I know…” he whispered, stroking her cheeks as his eyes filled with tears. “But I don’t want her—I swear it!”
She shoved him away, sitting up angrily.
“How can you say that? I told you I saw you—“
“And it doesn’t mean what you think, Nat!” he cried, pulling her into his arms and putting his forehead on hers. He closed his eyes, turning his head softly against her. “You were wrong before—what you said when we were younger. You were so sure it meant I wasn’t attracted to you, and you were wrong.”
He leaned back, his eyes burning.
“And you’re wrong now!”
She pressed her fists against his chest, her eyes torn between uncertainty and deep, terrible hurt.
“How can you say that when you’ve been with her for…for…I don’t even know how long!”
“Nat…no,” he whispered, an almost relieved feeling of shock going through him. “I’ve been looking for you!”
He held her tighter around her waist when she went to shove him away again, holding her head against his.
“Listen, Nat…just listen. Please… I kind of…stumbled outside at first, back through the door, just…just fucking sick inside,” he said hoarsely. “I didn’t touch her, Nat. I told her I wasn’t the person she thought—I couldn’t be that now. But she took a lot of fucking persuading before I could shake her.”
His voice lowered to a growl before turning hoarse again.
“But the scent was too strong. I couldn’t…I couldn’t find you,” he choked out, the fear that had left in him filling his voice. The loneliness. “I looked around the school. I drove home… It just took so long for it to fade.”
A shudder went through him, and her tears fell a bit more.
“Please believe me…I can’t lose you. I can’t.” Terror clawed at him. He needed her. She was his entire world, and if she wasn’t in it… “You’re my home, Nat. My everything. And I fucking hate that this body doesn’t work right for you.”
His voice cracked, his own tears spilling over. But he pulled back to glare at her.
“But it does not mean I want her. It feels like…like…”
Fuck. How could he describe it? Her eyes were looking at him in desperate, agonized hope. He needed to get this right.
“The scent…the moment I caught it, it just…it unlocked everything—every fucking desire I could ever have. It’s like it freed my body at last. And the closer I get to it, the more it unlocks.”
He held on when she tried pulling away, leaning into her to hold her still. Hold her to him.
“It freed every fucking desire I had, Nat. Every single one. And every desire is for you. It didn’t change who I wanted. It didn’t change what I want to do to you. With you. And it didn’t make me want her just because I could finally feel everything I’ve wanted to feel so badly with you,” he finished in a whisper, his thumbs stroking her cheeks.
“But she’s your mate,” she said with a small sob.
“That’s fucking bullshit. I don’t believe any of that. You’re my mate. And maybe there’s some fucked up genetic thing that means her scent unlocks something in me, but that is all it can do, Nat. It can’t change who I want. And it can never never change who I love…”
His lips brushed against her cheek, a familiar, welcome pain beginning to burn in his gut alongside the fear as he licked her tears away. Trailing his tongue lightly across her skin, he found her lips at last, kissing her softly with every word while her ragged breaths flowed over him. Through him.
“I told you. If I have to fight the entire fucking universe to keep you, I will. Even if I have to fight you as well,” he whispered, fear threatening to choke him once more. “But I’d rather have you beside me…helping me…” His voice turned husky. “Please help me, Nat. You don’t know how much I need you.”
A shudder went through her as he stroked her neck with his knuckles, his lips soft on her upper lip, her lower, his tongue licking at her in slow strokes until she released a whimpering cry and ripped her lips from his to bury her face in his neck.
He crushed her to him at last, pulling her off the bed to straddle him while he knelt on the floor, shaking and kissing her everywhere he could—her temple, her hair, her neck—rocking them both back and forth and burying his face in her hair while he moaned her name and tried desperately not to shift.
He needed her so fucking much. He needed to be inside her. To be part of her.
His hands were reaching for his jeans when Preston’s hoarse voice broke through his haze of desire.
“What the fuck is all this weird shit with your sisters?”
Caleb looked down at Nat lifting her head, apprehension growing in her eyes as Preston’s words sank in. He just pressed her into him harder, pushing her hips into his while she straddled him and leaning down to kiss her cheek.
At least there was one good thing to come out of this whole fucking mess. Preston finally knew Nat belonged to him. The urge to shift still ate at him, but he ran the back of his hand softly across her skin, his eyes drinking her in. He wanted her to stay on his lap forever. Or maybe turn around on all fours…
The sharp pain in his gut reminded him he needed to control his thoughts for now. They’d be alone again soon enough…and she had to let him in. He needed to cleanse the sickening, cloying feel of the deranged she-beast off his skin.
The thought of her sent another feeling twisting through his gut. It was the same feeling he’d had when she had grabbed his cock, squeezing before he was able to break her hold and shove her away—that’s when he knew for sure. When he understood the feelings coursing through his body, the insane heat, the intense, overwhelming desire.
His body desperately, feverishly wanted to fuck. Her scent set him on fire and made him want to fuck, and the sensation just got stronger the closer she was. But it didn’t make him want to fuck her.
Because when she touched his cock, the feeling in his gut was something he had felt before. When the blood of the man who had hurt Nat had spurted into his mouth.
Disgust.
“Preston, you can’t tell anyone—my mom could get in trouble. She got all the paperwork so it would look like Caleb was her son so he could stay with us.”
Preston hesitated.
“Natty…are you a…wolf?”
A little laugh bubbled up from her throat, sending ripples of happiness through Caleb, and he leaned down to nuzzle her neck.
“No, I am just like you.”
He frowned against her skin. He did not like that.
“So you two aren’t…related…in any way?”
“No!”
“Yes,” Caleb said, pulling back.
Nat’s eyes flew to his, a question in their depths.
“We’re family, Nat,” Caleb said intently. His voice softened, and he reached up to brush her hair back from her face. “You’re my family…”
Her slow smile warmed every part of him.
“So…he is the black wolf, right?” he said. “The one who attacked me that night?”
Caleb looked up with heated eyes.
“You hurt Nat.”
“Fuck, man,” Preston said, going pale. “I was a dumb kid.”
“Use that excuse again,” he said quietly, his eyes narrowing.
Nat reached up and covered his eyes with her hand. But her other arm held him tight around his neck, so he bent into her neck again, inhaling deeply. Trying to get the toxic aroma of his supposed mate out of his lungs. Out of his memory.
“Caleb was young, too. He wouldn’t do anything like that now.”
He grunted into her neck in disagreement. He would destroy anyone and anything that hurt her.
Don’t worry—I’ll kill her.
A low snarl rumbled in his throat at the memory. His attempts to get rid of Vick by telling her he had someone in his life had, for the first time, made him grateful that everyone thought Nat was his sister. He’d snapped at the threat, shoving Vick against the side of the school with his arm on her neck, but it had only seemed to excite her more.
“Ethan.” His voice was low and menacing, and Nat tried to look at him but he clenched her more tightly, keeping his face in her neck. Keeping her close. “How much of a threat would your sister be to Nat if she knew?”
When Ethan didn’t answer immediately, Caleb lifted his head to look at him, pulling Nat to his chest and kissing her forehead.
“She used to kill people,” he said slowly. “But my dad put a stop to it because it of the attention it started bringing to the areas we lived in.”
“And you let Natty go off alone with her and told her I was staying at your house?” Preston broke in, his brows raised, and Ethan frowned.
“I told you—I made sure she wasn’t in a killing mood. And I told her about you because it was the best way to keep you safe. There’s no way she’d risk killing someone who was linked to where we live—she’s not afraid of much, but she’s afraid of my dad. And he’d be angry. It would invite too many questions.”
His frown deepened at Preston’s wide eyed incredulity.
“I wouldn’t put you in danger.”
“Dude.” He leaned forward and put his hand on Ethan’s shoulder, ignoring or not noticing when he tensed. “You are danger. But your sister… Damn.”
He let his hand fall as he leaned back, and Ethan looked down at the floor, a deep line between his brow.
“What is this about letting Nat go off alone with her.”
Caleb was struggling to hold onto his temper, despite Nat’s trying to soothe him.
Ethan eyed him warily.
“Vick came to the classroom. She must have caught your scent on Nat and wanted to talk to her.”
Caleb looked down at the beautiful, warm brown eyes looking up at him from the most perfect, precious face leaning on his shoulder.
“What happened?” he asked huskily.
Her delicate hand stroked his neck, sending small shivers of need through him. He touched her cheek with his lips. No one would hurt her.
“Nothing much. She said she was trying to take me outside to talk where she could breathe. But…I didn’t want to go…where you would see her,” she whispered, looking up at him with glistening eyes.
“Nat…” His own vision blurred, and he leaned his forehead on hers. Fuck. It would have torn his heart out if her body had responded to another man. No matter the reason. It was bad enough walking in and seeing her lying in Preston’s arms. And that had been pretty fucking bad.
“How do I get rid of your sister, Ethan?” he asked in a low voice, raising narrowed eyes to the boy seated on the edge of the bed.
Ethan gave a small laugh.
“Don’t you think I’ve been asking that question my whole life? She does whatever she wants and doesn’t stop until she gets bored. But you’re her mate—”
Caleb reached for his throat faster than Ethan could move, still holding Nat to him and ignoring her efforts to stop him.
“You will never say that again,” he hissed, squeezing just enough to make his point while Ethan sat very still, watching him, and Preston leaned forward.
“I only meant she isn’t going to get bored with you,” he said quietly as Caleb released him. “And the effects of the m— Of the bond—“
“Of the scent,” Caleb bit out.
Ethan nodded, his eyes a bit unsure.
“The scent. She’s not going to let that go. She thinks you’re hers. We’ve been looking for you for years, and she has hated the idea that she couldn’t carry on the pack line. No other wolf is capable of mating with her.”
“Why can’t they just shift? She’s a wolf. They’re wolves. Shift and problem solved.”
Ethan’s brow pulled together, and he looked at Caleb intently.
“It doesn’t work like that. Or at least…not for anyone I ever heard of. You’re only supposed to be able to get hard for your mate, regardless of which form you’re in.”
Caleb frowned in confusion and looked down for a moment before turning to Nat, hope entering his eyes.
“If one is possible…maybe the other is, too,” he breathed, the pain in his gut returning with a vengeance when she swallowed.
He kissed her hard on the mouth and pulled back quickly, turning to Ethan once more but keeping Nat locked to his chest. She curled into him again, shaking a bit this time, and he struggled to keep his thoughts from drifting where they very much wanted to go.
“There has to be a way. You know her. How do I get rid of her?”
Ethan’s brows lifted and a small whine left his throat. But his eyes began searching around him as if thinking. His gaze returned to Caleb’s after a few moments.
“Actually, you might be able to answer that. She’s like you. All our ma— All our scent…pairs?” He rushed on at Caleb’s glare. “Their personalities are a lot like ours.”
“I am not like her,” Caleb spat out. But his brow twitched. Was he? Ethan had said he was a bully, but he was just dominant! He was a wolf! But…so was she.
Caleb rubbed his brow and looked down at Nat.
“Am I?” he whispered.
Her eyes were soft on his as she leaned up and cupped his face in her hands. Shaking her head slowly, she stroked his cheeks with her thumbs.
“You’re kind, Caleb. Protective. You gave up everything to be boxed in, trapped, in something even most humans could barely stomach. You work so hard to take care of us…” She peppered each of her statements with small kisses, and Caleb watched her beneath heavy lids, his breath caught in his throat.
“I didn’t see any of those things in her. I don’t think she takes care of anyone but herself. She might be bold like you, but she uses it differently.”
Nat frowned.
“But she is quite bold. And I know what you’re like when you want something. So if she is like you, Caleb…” Worry filled her eyes, and he felt it with her.
Because the only thing that had ever stopped him from doing exactly what he wanted was Nat.
Caleb stroked Nat’s hair, navigating the car slowly through town while she rested her head on his thigh. She’d curled into him the moment they’d pulled away from the curb, sending his heart to his throat.
His.
He bit back the growl lurking inside him. Nothing would take her from him. But his hand shook, and he glanced down, fear still holding him in its grip.
Long, beautiful brown lashes lay against a pale, delicate face, the faintest trace of tears still present. His knuckles grazed the silky strands, capturing the last of the moisture, and he cupped her cheek, rubbing softly with his thumb as he looked back at the road. His heart caught when she pressed her lips into his palm.
Desire ate at his stomach. He needed to get home. To take their clothes off and curl up with her. Into her. To tie them together. He needed to be tied to her. To show her how much he wanted her—and only her.
Pain filled his gut, and he took a ragged breath.
Just a little longer.
“Caleb…”
Her whisper fluttered inside his chest.
“What are we going to do?”
Visions of exactly what he was planning filled his mind, the pain piercing him until he feared he wouldn’t last the drive. His grip tightened on the steering wheel, tension making his body rigid, and Nat lifted her head.
He pushed her back down, forcing himself to be calm once more.
“Stay, Nat,” he said, his voice husky. “I need you close. Today was…” A shudder went through him. “I don’t ever want to feel that again. Any of it.”
“But you will, Caleb.” Her voice was small. “She’ll be back. And you’ll feel the same for her.”
“Not for her, Nat,” he growled. “But as for what I’m going to do about it, maybe I’ll get a nose plug.”
Her delicate snort almost made him smile through the fury of revulsion and fear thoughts of the she-beast brought. Revulsion that anything other than Nat could affect his body. And fear that she would leave him because of it.
“Do you really think it’s just scent?” A touch of hope laced her tone, and it pulled at his heart.
“Yes. I do,” he said firmly. “I don’t know if a nose plug is enough to stop it, though,” he muttered. Wolf senses were strong. “I don’t really know how it might work. But I know—“ he looked down at her, his brows fierce— “that I don’t want her and I would never want her. Even if you left me.”
Nat’s eyes were soft and wide, and she turned over on her back, looking up at him.
“Leave you? Caleb, without you…” She swallowed, a sheen growing in her eyes. “I thought about it a lot today. When I thought you were with her. You came into my life and made me forget that I’m nothing.”
Her hand reached up to flatten over his mouth when he opened it in outrage, so he only glared down at her, glancing up occasionally to watch where he was driving.
“I’m not beautiful. Or smart. Or talented. Or evidently very likable. I never know what to say with people. But with you…”
She stroked his lips slowly, her eyes tender.
“It’s never mattered. I never had to be anything more than I was. If I failed a test or wasn’t good at sports or art or anything…it never mattered. I didn’t need to be good at those things. I was enough being just me.”
He bit her fingers, and she snatched them back.
“You are beautiful and smart and talented and likable and everything, Nat!”
A small twinkle shone through her tears.
“So you won’t mind if I sing you to sleep?”
“As long as you’re beside me, you can do whatever you want,” he said, his voice husky again.
It won him an eye roll and a grin, but he meant it.
“But you’re right about one thing,” he whispered. “Just you. That’s enough. Because it’s everything. You’re my world.”
“And you’re mine.”
Heat filled him, impossible heat.
“Nat…let me be inside you.”
Familiar alarm filled her eyes. Uncertainty.
“Are you…really sure, Caleb? That you know what you want? What if we do this and…and you change your mind…and you want a wolf like you…”
He frowned. Okay, that did sound gross. Shit. That was how he seemed to her? Could he really ask her to be with him that way? A whine tickled the back of his throat.
Nat’s eyes fell.
“See…you can’t really be sure.”
Momentarily confused, he stared down at her with a line between his brow before grunting in frustration.
“No, Nat, no…that is the last thing…” Fuck. “I just realized for the first time…how gross that sounded.”
His mutter seemed petulant even to his own ears, and silence filled the car for an instant before she burst out laughing.
“Well at least you finally understand!” she grinned, leaning up and wrapping her arms around him to nuzzle his neck.
He held her close, his eyes feeling a bit raw.
“Is that how I seem to you then?” he whispered, and she pulled back quickly, all traces of her laughter vanishing.
“No. No, Caleb. I mean, I’m glad you understand how it could seem but…but I’ve had years to get used to who you are. And you’re…you! Some insanely gorgeous wonderful creature who…sometimes…looks…different.” She swallowed, and he lifted a brow.
Groaning, she hid her face in his neck, and he held on tight, the band inside his chest relaxing as she snuggled in close.
“I can’t pretend it isn’t scary. Or maybe not scary but…” A shiver went through her. “Okay, yeah, scary. But I know it’s you. And if that’s the only way you can want me—“
“I always want you,” he said fiercely, clenching her to him. “Just because my body doesn’t work doesn’t mean I don’t feel it inside!”
Leaning into him, her fingertips toyed with the skin at the base of his neck.
“I know,” she whispered. “And…and it must mean something that you can be with me as a wolf when your kind isn’t supposed to be able to do that at all with anyone who isn’t your—“
“Don’t say it,” he growled and felt her smile.
“It must mean something…”
“It means you are my mate, Nat. You are the one I love. The one I choose. Nobody else could ever take your place. I’m tied to you forever…and…I’d like to be tied to you…physically, too,” he finished, his voice husky once more.
Trembling, she turned into him more deeply, her arms tight around his chest.
“So much happened today… I need to think…but…” She swallowed, and if his hearing had been any less than what it was, he might not have caught her final whispered words. “I want that, too.”
His breath caught, a tumult of feeling coursing through him, the blood rushing through his body, and for one incredible moment, for one exquisite moment of hope, Caleb didn’t feel pain. He felt hard.
And then he turned onto their street, and the scent became unmistakable—along with the sight of the car parked in their drive.
Vick was waiting for them.
