Tell him.
Confess and repent.
I woke to those words circling my brain. Last night had been…I didn’t have words to explain what it had been. My body was warm and relaxed, and Renato’s arms held me tightly to him. My ear pressed against his chest, right over his heart.
I had to tell him the truth about the bug and the cops. It was a secret I couldn’t hide anymore.
Because? I didn’t want to have a secret from him. In the last few days, everything had changed between us. This could be something real if I let it, and I wanted that suddenly, with an intensity that made it hard to breathe. Because I was falling for him. I couldn’t stop the fall. He was working into my heart like a splinter. He saw me. He got me. I’d been denying an entire part of myself my whole life. I’d beat myself down and cut off my needs and wants, like they were selfish to even consider. He had lifted that veil from my eyes. It wasn’t selfish to want one goddamn thing for yourself.
And I wanted him. I wanted to be his. I wanted to belong in this family.
And to do that, I had to tell him and let the chips fall where they may. He would be furious, probably. He’d punish me, undoubtedly, though after last night, it wasn’t exactly a deterrent anymore. What if he goes back on the deal? What if he decides he can’t have a wife he can’t trust? Regardless, I still trusted him more than the cops.
Renato shifted under me, stroking my hair. “I know you’re awake.”
I cleared my throat.
“Don’t tell me you’re shy this morning, after last night?”
“Aren’t you mad that you’ve been having all this sex to make me pregnant and it’s been a wasted effort?” I leaned up on my elbow and looked down at him.
“You really think any time I’m inside you is wasted? Fucking you, my wife, is the highlight of my bleak life. I’d have fucked you no less if I’d known earlier, and I’ll fuck you no less when you’re pregnant. I’m not fucking you just to get you pregnant,” he said. “I’m fucking you because I can’t stay away. Coming inside you is my new hobby, and making you come on me is my new obsession. You’re just going to have to deal with that, anima mia.”
My soul. Tell him.
“I have to tell you something,” I blurted quickly.
I opened my mouth, my confession on my tongue, but I never got the chance. A loud banging at the bedroom door made me jump. Renato frowned. No one disturbed him when he was in bed. They wouldn’t dare unless it was something important.
He slid out of the bed and went to the door. He was wearing loose black pants that hung on his hips. His broad, tattooed chest flexed as he wrenched the door open. “What is it?”
Elio stood right outside, looking worried, which was scary as hell given how little emotion the sottocapo usually showed.
“The cops. They’re outside. They say they have an arrest warrant for Lucy.”
I jerked like I’d been shot. They’d actually done it. They were really going to arrest Lucy, as if she could have executed her own boyfriend with a bullet to the head. What the fuck?
I jumped out of bed and reached for a sweater to put over my silk camisole.
“What are you doing?” Renato asked, sounding unflustered.
“Getting dressed. I’m not going to the station in my PJs,” I muttered. I felt sick. This was awful, and yet there was a part of me that had just been waiting for it to happen. It was an odd and terrible relief.
“You’re not going anywhere,” he said to me, then turned to Elio. “Get Lucy.”
“Ren—” I started.
But he had already pulled me into his arm and hugged me. “It’s okay. I’ll take care of everything.”
“I have to tell you something.” I pushed out of his grip just as Elio appeared with Lucy.
She rubbed sleep from her eyes. “What’s going on?”
Renato stared down at me. “You’re going to see some of the original Casa Nera. You’re going to wait there with your sister for a little while, and then come back out, just like hide-and-seek.”
“Ren,” I started a third time, but a banging at the front door echoed through the entire building.
“Casa Nera will hide you both, until it’s safe,” Renato said decisively, pulling on a shirt and buttoning it with ease. “Come with me.”
I yanked on jeans and shoved my feet into sneakers, then took Lucy’s hand. We hurried downstairs after Elio and Renato. We went all the way down to the basement level. Lucy blanched when she saw the cells.
We walked along the hall, and Elio seemed to disappear at one point. A hidden doorway, made of the same stone as the rest of the walls. It was so dark down there, it was impossible to see.
“Go along there for about five minutes. You’ll come to a room. Sit and wait there. No one will find you. I’ll come for you when the coast is clear.”
“The cops are going to tell you something,” I cried desperately, stepping into the hidden passage.
But there was no time.
“Don’t worry about the cops, I’ll handle them,” Renato insisted.
I grabbed his arm before he could close the section of wall that would hide the opening.
“I have to tell you—”
“I know,” Renato finished. “Charlotte, I know.” He reached up and cupped my cheek.
“You know?” Tears filled my eyes. I’d been worried about him finding out for days, and he’d already known? What the hell was he going to do about it? Was he furious with me?
“I know. Trust me, bambina. Now, you just need to trust me,” he reassured me, and his eyes met mine, just before the wall closed and darkness fell over us.
Lucy held on to my sleeve and crowded close to me. “What’s happening?”
“They’re here to arrest you for involvement in Miguel’s murder.”
“What?”
“Don’t worry. Renato won’t let them get to you.”
Lucy snorted softly. “Sure, he’s so self-sacrificing. He just doesn’t want me to tell the truth.”
“Do you realize we’re talking about the only person who is on our side right now?”
“On our side?” Lucy sniffed. “No one is one my side.”
I ground my teeth with frustration and pointed along the dimly lit passageway. “Let’s get away from the door. After you.”
Lucy trudged along, and I followed, imagining strangling her the entire way.
We reached the room, and Lucy paused outside.
“You know, Sonny told me about these tunnels. Renato and his sister used to use them to sneak out when they were young. People have been kept prisoner in this place for decades.”
“You’re not a prisoner,” I muttered.
Lucy stilled and tilted her head. “Do you really think that?”
If we are, then I’m falling in love with the jailer. It didn’t sound great.
Lucy sighed. “Maybe you don’t feel like that anymore, but I do. I’m still a prisoner and I don’t want to be anymore.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, I’m going to see what’s at the end of this tunnel, and if it’s freedom, I’m never looking back.”
“Lucy!”
She took off before I could grab her. I set off after her, running up the uneven corridor.
“Lucy, don’t be stupid. It’s dangerous outside, the cops are looking for you.”
She was getting away from me. She’d always been fast.
I ran faster, my sneakers getting a better grip on the damp floor than Lucy’s flip-flops.
“Lucy!” My cry echoed around the walls.
It was growing lighter. We neared the end of the tunnel. I wanted to laugh for a second, and then I wanted to cry. This moment here perfectly encapsulated my life. Running after my sister, leaving my heart and best interests behind me.
I tripped over a raised stone and fell to my knees. Pain radiated up my legs. I watched her getting farther and farther away.
“Stop. Please, just stop,” I muttered.
She didn’t hear me or turn around. A stray thought blew across my mind, freezing me to the spot. Just let her go.
I tensed. Let her go? She’d gotten us into all this, but then again, wasn’t she the reason why I was falling in love with a man for the first time in my life? Wasn’t she the reason why my path had crossed Renato’s?
You can’t fight fate, it’ll find you. Your god gave you to me. This was all destined to happen.
Renato’s words circled my mind as I fought with myself to get up. My fate and Lucy’s were linked forever, and I could never not care. It wasn’t who I was. Loyal to a fault. A sister to the end. The bitch who never quit.
I started after her, my knees burning. She’d reached the end of the tunnel and was trying to figure out how to open it. I pushed myself faster, but I didn’t make it in time. The door slid open, and she disappeared out into the winter morning.
I reached the door just as it closed and fumbled with the catch. It was tricky, and it took me a few moments to manage it. I stumbled out into the light and looked around for Lucy.
She stood in the middle of the road. Where were we? Was this around the back of Casa Nera?
Lucy stared at something farther up the road than I could see. She was still as a statue. A white van roared toward her.
“Get out of the road!” I screamed, running for her.
I grabbed her just as the van stopped. The back slid open, and four men jumped out. I recognized one of them immediately.
The thug from the hospital. The one who had been asking about Lucy. The Castillo guy.
They snatched Lucy first, clamping a hand over her mouth to muffle her screams. Two of them carried her into the truck, while the other two advanced toward me.
I was still close to the tunnel. I could have made it back and locked the door from the inside.
My gaze fixed on my sister.
I couldn’t leave her alone. I didn’t fight when they seized me. I wanted in that van beside Lucy. They pushed me in carelessly, and my scraped knees burned painfully against the floor. They tied our hands roughly with duct tape, shoved a bag over my head, and then the sound of the doors shutting rattled my teeth.
After another moment, the van started.
“Lucy, are you okay?” I worked my wrists behind my back, sawing them back and forth, trying to free them.
She moaned. They must have taped her mouth after her hands, probably because she’d been screaming so much.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry. It’ll be okay,” I muttered like a chant. I needed to hear it myself, because things felt pretty far from okay right now.
Renato knew about the bug. He’d already known. Did he hate me? Was he playing with me? The part of me that was used to being alone crowed its triumph. See, it snarled, you are supposed to be alone. Who could ever love you? He was just playing with you, and you believed it. Pathetic.
Renato’s deep, confident voice from my memories spoke in my head.
“You are perfect, Charlie. Perfect and good and pure as the driven snow.”
“You light up the room.”
“You fascinate me.”
I got hold of the writhing insecurity in my head, the one that warned me never to trust anyone else. The one that had been born to protect me and my sister. The one I didn’t need anymore.
“Don’t worry, Lucy. Renato will come for us. He’ll find us, and he’ll take us home,” I reassured her.
Lucy made a quizzical sound through the tape. Are you sure?
“I’m sure.”
