WEST
The weekend went fast. Too Fast. I wasn’t home enough to notice Momma wasn’t there. But then I also wasn’t going home, because it was too hard. I slept in Maggie’s room until five then snuck out and went to my house to shower, change, and eat before heading out again. I just couldn’t stay there long.
It was the laughter that haunted me most. The times I’d run in the house, excited about something and Dad and Mom were there to listen to me. Our family dinners always came back to me as I sat at the table and ate all alone.
Monday morning, though, I was focused on Maggie. She’d be going to school today without her safety walls of silence in place. Her aunt was going with her this morning to talk to the principal about Maggie’s decision to speak. Also about Maggie’s preference not to have to see a counselor.
I wanted to pick her up and take her, but I settled for waiting outside the office until Maggie and Coralee walked out. The late bell hadn’t rung yet, but I wasn’t concerned with being late. I was worried about Maggie. She was going to have to face first period without me. Hell, she had to face all her periods without me.
Maggie’s eyes lit up when she saw me standing there, and she immediately came over to me and slipped her hand in mine. “Good morning,” I said, loving that she came to me so easily.
“Good morning,” she replied, then glanced back at her aunt. “I’ll see you after school.”
“Y’all, have a good day,” Coralee called after us as we walked off toward our lockers.
“Didn’t like not taking you to school today,” I said as soon as we were far enough away from Coralee.
“I missed you too,” she replied, a smirk on her sweet lips. “
Wish I were going with you to all your classes.”
She squeezed my hand. “I’ll be okay. Promise.”
I knew she would, but that didn’t change the fact I wanted to be holding her hand. I wanted to be there, making sure everyone was nice to her. That no one was too nice to her and that . . . No. I had to get control of myself. I didn’t want to smother her with my possessiveness. She was learning to live again, and I had to let her breathe.
It wasn’t until after third period that the fact she was talking to other people really hit home for me.
Seeing Vance Young standing at her locker as she looked up at him and talked to him felt like a fucking slice in my gut. I hated that. She was mine. She talked only to me. I didn’t want to share her.
My dad was gone. My mother had left me. And I wouldn’t lose Maggie.
“Back off, Young,” I snarled as I shoved him away from Maggie and slid my arm around her waist, pulling her against me.
“What the fuck, West?” Vance said, glaring at me. “You mad because my sister’s back? Y’all are a bunch of fuckers, you know that? You don’t know shit about what happened. About her.”
This wasn’t about Riley. That was Gunner’s battle, not mine.
“I couldn’t give a shit if Riley’s back in town or not. But don’t get that close to my girl again.”
Vance looked down at Maggie then back at me. “I thought y’all were friends. That’s what Serena said last period. I didn’t know she was yours.”
“She’s mine,” I said, leaving no room for doubt.
Vance shrugged and held up his hands. “Sorry. Thought she was single.”
After he left, I looked down at Maggie. She was standing very still and staring vacantly at the wall across from us. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
She didn’t reply at first, and I was worried she was having some sort of panic attack because she’d started talking to everyone. But finally she turned and looked up at me. “You’re going to have to let people talk to me, West.”
Yeah, I knew that.
“You can’t shove them away and claim that I’m yours. It doesn’t work that way.”
Wait . . . what? “If another guy is hitting on you, then I sure as hell can. He needed to know you were taken.”
She frowned and tilted her head. Dark hair fell over one shoulder. “Will you act this way when every guy talks to me?”
Probably. Yes. I shrugged.
She let out a sigh, and her shoulders fell. “What are we, West? Because I’m not sure. You say I’m yours, but what does that mean?”
Was she kidding? I thought I had made that very clear a few hundred times already.
“You’re it for me, Maggie. I don’t ever want anyone else.”
She gave me a sad smile, then reached up to touch my face. “But if you’re going to be upset every time a guy talks to me, you’ll be miserable. Isn’t it enough for me to be your girlfriend and to trust me? I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
“I do trust you, and you’re so much more than my girlfriend. But I just need to protect you.”
She let out a small laugh. “From the world? Because you can’t.”
She didn’t get it. She was all I had left. She was the only person I loved who hadn’t left me.
“Yes, I can,” I replied, my tone harsher than I’d intended.
Maggie frowned, and I saw disappointment flash in her eyes. I didn’t want that. I’d seen her look at me like that before, and I hated it. I never wanted to let her down. I just needed her to accept I wasn’t sharing. I couldn’t. I needed her.
“West, this . . . thing we have. It’s—” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I was there for you when you needed someone. And maybe I’ve become more of a crutch for you. You get angry if anyone gets near me or speaks to me, and that’s not normal. It’s unhealthy. I’ve never given you a reason to be so possessive. This thing between us can’t work if you hover over me like a madman.”
What the hell did that mean? I just wanted to keep her safe. How was that making me unhealthy? We weren’t messed up. And, yes, I was jealous, but that was normal. It was normal for me to be jealous. I was in love with her. “I can’t lose you. I can’t survive. . . .” I paused. “I need you to make it.”
Maggie let out a heavy sigh as she took a step back from me. I fought the urge to reach out and grab her and pull her close again. The distance terrified me.
“That’s not what a relationship is. You have the strength inside of you to survive. You don’t need me to do that.” She paused and closed her eyes tightly as if she were fighting back tears. I started to reach for her and apologize. Anything to make the sadness on her face go away. But she opened her eyes and stared up at me with a determination that still held unshed tears. “I think it’s best if we take a step back. I wanted to be the shoulder you could lean on and the one you could talk to. I wanted you to have everything I didn’t. But now I see it’s made us something that will never work. I can’t be your crutch. That’s not fair to either of us.” She reached up and wiped away the single tear that had slid down her face, then stepped back from me some more. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I never meant . . .” She trailed off and covered her mouth as a sob broke free. “I can’t do this, West.”
I heard her words, but my mind was screaming for her to stop. She couldn’t be saying what it sounded like. But before I could say anything, she turned and walked away. Leaving me alone. Again.
Then she turned and ran. She didn’t look back.
I stood, helpless and unable to react. The emptiness that haunted me before was clawing at my chest to get back in and suck the life from me. But more than that . . . I was lost and broken.
The one person I thought I could trust had just let me down.
