We’ve fucked three more times, and I’m still insatiable. I don’t know what it is about her that has me craving more, but when I had that first taste, I knew it wouldn’t come close to being enough. She’s so tight and wet, and the sounds that dispense from her body when I’m inside her…fuck. They’re everything.
I’ve had to put up my mind’s wall so she can’t hear any more of what I’m thinking about her. I’m afraid if she hears too much, she’ll assume I’m some sex-crazed lunatic. But that’s not true. I’ve never craved sex like this before. Hell, I’ve hardly ever really enjoyed it. With the others, I’d have to get myself drunk enough to stand it, and I’d double up on red pills, just so their touch wouldn’t bother me. Fortunately, my dick doesn’t mind the pleasure or touch it receives. It’s just the rest of me that doesn’t like being touched, which makes enjoying sex virtually impossible for me unless I’m intoxicated.
But it’s not like that with Willow. There’s something about her hands, her touch, her body. The voluptuous curve of her hips, the dimples in her thighs. Her full breasts and the way they bounce, her dark-brown nipples that peak to perfection when she’s close. It awakes everything inside me—every atom, every blood cell, every single strand of my DNA. It’s all connected to hers, and I have her. Fuck, do I have her.
We’re lying in the bed, and she’s in my arms. Her head is on my chest, a foreign affection to me, but it feels nice. She tried getting up once, thinking she was overwhelming me with her touch, but I held on to her. I don’t want her going anywhere. Hell, I don’t ever want to leave this cabin again, but I’m aware it’s an unrealistic thought.
There’s one small window next to the bed, no curtain. It’s dark outside, the moon beaming into the cabin between thick branches of the forest. Moonlight bathes her skin and mine. We’re a beautiful mixture, light and dark. Crème and cocoa.
Willow draws in a deep breath and exhales, and I glance down. I try listening to her thoughts, but I can’t hear them. My brows dip. I can’t hear her. That’s a first.
“I think you’re doing it,” I say after trying to hear her again.
She lifts her head to eye me. “Doing what?”
“You’re blocking me out. You’ve built a wall around your mind.”
“Really? How can you tell?”
“I just tried to read you. Nothing came. It was like knocking on a door and not getting an answer.”
She grins. “Really? That’s how it feels when I try to hear you.”
“How’d you do it?”
“I don’t know.” She pauses, rubbing the tip of her nose. “I just kept thinking to myself, ‘I don’t want him to hear that.’”
“You don’t want me to hear what, exactly?”
She sighs and sits up, bringing the quilt with her to cover her bare chest. It takes some willpower to not move the blanket so I can see her naked, but I know that’ll lead to another round and right now isn’t the time. “I can’t stop thinking about that book I read. And then you saying Juniper went to Beatrix again. Do you think we should go and see Beatrix ourselves? Find out what’s really going on?”
“I’m not sure I’d trust her after going through all of this.”
“Are there any other Mythics who’d be able to help?”
“There’s Manx, but I don’t think he knows much about Cold Tethers—not as much as Beatrix. Doesn’t hurt to ask and see if he can dig deeper, but with him caring for those in Whisper Grove, I’m afraid he wouldn’t have the time.”
She twists her lips. “I think there’s more that Beatrix isn’t telling us.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, but…” She lowers her head and grabs my hand. “I like this, Caz. I like how I feel when I’m with you. And when I went back, I couldn’t get you off my mind. Sure, it’s terrifying being here again. I don’t know what to ever expect, but when I’m around you I feel safe. Protected. To think that one day this could all end because of this Mournwrath thing…” She sucks in a sharp breath. “I don’t want that for us. There has to be a way we can beat this.”
“I like this too.”
She looks me all over. “I’m sensing a but…”
I work hard to swallow and pull my eyes away from hers. There has been a tidbit I’ve left out, but only because I wasn’t sure about this. Us. Is there even an us? We’ve kissed, yes, and we’ve had sex. I killed someone I was never supposed to kill (and trust me, Rami’s demented ass deserved it) and it will result in some sort of punishment from The Council. She’s been inside me mum’s cabin, a place that’s sacred to me, for the love of Vakeeli.
“Fuck,” I groan, rubbing the wrinkles from my forehead. “There is an us.”
“What?” She tilts a brow.
“Nothing. Listen, there is one thing Juniper told me.” I sit up with her, pressing my back to the wall, and she locks on me, waiting with anticipation for me to continue. “She says there’s a couple who were in a Cold Tether before. Apparently, they survived it and are still together.”
“Really? Well, that proves it then! Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“Because there’s a downfall to it.”
“Well, what is it?”
My eyes flicker up to hers. “They live in a place called The Trench.”
Her face turns a bit ashen. “I remember Juniper telling me about it.”
“Yeah. It’s a terrible place. People who are there don’t choose to live there. They’re banished there. It’s one of the darkest, lowliest places, Willow. And most times, when you go there, you may not come out. I’d have to bring an army and all my guns with me if we went there.”
“Is there a way this couple can come out of The Trench to meet us?”
“No. Once you’re banished there, you’re bound there. There’s no escaping it, and it’s assumed the Regals made it that way as a punishment for the worst people. That place is practically hell on Vakeeli. There’s hardly any food, water, and there are no youth elixirs. You go there, work in dirty fields that provide corn and wheat once or twice a year, and eventually die. There are no authorities, no good people. There’s no one to save you. That’s why, if anyone like us entered without an army, they’d rob us on site. Wouldn’t even hesitate. It’s a terrible place.”
“Yeah. It sounds like it.” She bites on her bottom lip, and a hopelessness fills her eyes that tugs at my heart. I can’t let this be it. She’s right…there is something here. Something worth fighting for, at least. Even if we don’t last, at least I won’t regret the fact that I tried.
“We can return to Blackwater,” I tell her. “Get to my place and get a word out to Alora to arrange a visit again. She can set us up with Beatrix, and then we can go from there. But I want you to promise me something, Willow.” I lean forward, clasping her chin in my fingers.
“Sure. Anything.”
“I want you to promise that you won’t put all your faith into this tiny possibility. This couple who made it out of the Cold Tether? I’m sure they didn’t do it without consequence. For them to wind up in The Trench means something terrible must’ve happened. You don’t just get banished to The Trench for no reason. Sure, they may be without the Tether now and they’re together, but we don’t know what kind of hell that cost them. Whatever it is, I don’t want that for you.” I swallow. “For us.”
She grabs my hand, tilting her head to cradle her cheek in my palm.
“I promise, but only if you promise that you’ll try everything you can to find a way. I don’t want this to kill us.” Her warm brown eyes glisten.
“It won’t kill you. I won’t let it.” I grab her hand, running my lips over her knuckles. Not a kiss, but an action that electrifies the both of us. A coolness ripples down the middle of my chest. “But if it comes down to it and you must return to your world, so be it. Even if there’s a threat to me, you must go back. Do you promise?”
She hesitates a moment, then sighs, parts her lips, and says, “I promise.”
