I’m studying in the library, determined to make sure I at least succeed in my studies despite not being present for any of the classes these past couple of days.
I’m already glad the girls at Alpha Psi didn’t continue asking questions after I told them I’d been gone for a few days to camp in the woods with my mother.
It was only a half lie, but I felt bad about lying nonetheless.
Not to mention the fact that those Tartarus guys kept me from so much schoolwork.
Too much is at stake here. I promised my dad I would succeed. I’ve already disappointed my father in one aspect. I can’t risk this too.
But damn, those assholes really got the best of me.
I’m trying to keep my mind focused on the books because I really need to ace these tests that I have coming up, but it’s really hard when I know one of those boys, Caleb, is also in this very same room.
And I don’t want to turn around and see if he’s staring at me.
I grumble to myself and read the same sentence over and over. But every time I try to home in on some paragraphs, I hear his voice, and it makes me turn my head.
I really shouldn’t be listening, shouldn’t even remotely be interested in what he does.
But I can’t help myself. Every time I hear his voice, my heart skips a beat.
He’s talking with Nathan, but Nathan doesn’t seem at all interested in what he has to say.
I sigh out loud, disappointed in myself, and I flip the page to see if that part of the book is any easier, but I’m out of luck. This whole section is like trying to read a language you’ve never seen before. Ugh.
I reach for another book in my bag when my hands suddenly find something prickly instead, and I pull out a rose. The rose Blaine placed on the grass when he left me to my thoughts at The Edge.
My heart warms to the point that I can’t help but pull it out of my bag and stare at it.
He was so gentle and kind with me. I can still feel his kisses on the palm of my hand and his warm hugs enveloping me, and it makes me smile. Maybe I made a mistake by denying him.
Would it hurt if I allowed just one of those Tartarus boys to show me affection?
I tuck the rose behind my ear, my cheeks flushing with heat knowing this is the one he plucked for me.
Suddenly, Nathan’s phone rings and distracts me. “Fuck,” he grits.
I can clearly hear them both from where I’m sitting.
“Who is it?” Caleb asks.
Nathan scoots back his chair and gets up. “I gotta take this one. Watch my stuff.”
Caleb throws him a grimace and sighs out loud before he gets up and waltzes off through the opposite exit, leaving Nathan’s laptop out in the open. And my book, with all its complexity, stares at me, practically begging me to seek help.
Goddammit.
I close my book and shove it into my bag, then make my way over to his laptop.
Nathan wouldn’t mind if I used it to look something up, would he? He gave me the password for a reason last year. He always said I could help myself if I needed it.
Besides, it would only take a few seconds, and then I can move on to the next chapter. I really need the extra information, and I know he’d give it to me if I asked, but he’s busy with that phone call, and I don’t want to bother him.
So I sit down at his desk and type in the password, then press enter. It’s an Apple, and I have no idea how to use these things. Mom never had the money to afford these products. We only had an ancient computer that barely turned on after like thirty minutes.
What the hell do I do?
I press some buttons, but it doesn’t bring up a browser. Instead, some kind of file browsing thing has been opened, and I begin to panic a little. But when I see a particularly racy photo, my breathing pauses.
Is that… Lana?
When I open it up, my eyes widen.
It’s her all right, bound to a chair in some kind of grimy-looking shack, with three masked guys standing around her, doing all sorts of nasty, vulgar things with their dicks and her body.
Oh my God.
Kai, Nathan, and Milo.
I close the image and look around to make sure no one else here saw.
My heart races in my throat.
Does Lana know Nathan has this?
I don’t want to look at it again. I can’t.
But I have to do something. I can’t just let that image sit there on his laptop without Lana knowing about it. I mean, Nathan’s my friend, but I don’t stand for literal revenge porn if that’s what this is. She told me once she was seeing all three, but I didn’t expect it to go this far.
Maybe she already knows about him having this picture … maybe they’re into some kinky stuff.
But what if she doesn’t know he has this in his possession?
I have to tell her.
I gather my courage and grab the file, clicking on some stuff in the hopes of bringing up some type of email I can use to send it to her. But all of a sudden, the file is opened up in a multitude of screens, and I’m at a loss of what to do.
“No, no, no,” I mutter as email after email is loaded.
I try to exit, to no avail, so I keep pressing the buttons.
And that’s when it happens. The email disappears … In the outbox.
And when I see the recipients … my heart stops beating.
Oh God.
I jolt up from the chair, staring at the laptop.
What have I done?
Panic washes over me.
The image is still there, sent not to only Lana Rivera herself … but the entire fucking school.
I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. Can’t breathe.
I shut the laptop and run straight for the bathroom, where I lock myself inside a stall as my panic seizes control. Heat rushes over my entire body, my lungs constricted by my own breath stuck between my ribs. But no matter how hard I gulp, I still can’t freaking breathe.
I take a moment to calm my racing heart, then grab some toilet paper and dab my face, cleaning myself up before I exit the stall again and pretend nothing happened.
But the first thing I do is run straight back to my dorm and lock myself inside my room in order to scream into the void.
After a few hours, my phone rings. Brooke’s calling me, and I don’t know whether I should pick up because we rarely talk. But I can’t go AWOL for a week either. It would be too suspicious.
“Hey, Brooke,” I say with a fake chirpy voice when I finally gather the courage to answer.
“Crystal, you gotta help.”
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“A lewd picture of Lana has been shared all over the university. There was a fight between some Phantom Society boys and Lana out in public, and now she’s locked herself up in her room and refuses to talk to me.”
Oh God.
It’s happening.
My stomach almost turns over, but I manage to hold it all down as I sit up straight.
“I thought maybe you could try talking to her?”
I swallow. “Umm …”
“I’m worried about her. Maybe she’ll talk to you instead of me.”
I sigh out loud. “Okay. I can try.”
Oh man, how am I going to do this?
“Thank you,” she says. “And please let me know how it goes!”
“I’m on my way,” I say as I grab my stuff.
Briefly looking in the mirror, I pull the red rose from behind my ear and tuck it into my pocket. I don’t want Lana to ask any questions I’m not ready to answer.
I exit my room and head out, but my courage wanes with every step I take.
I know exactly why she doesn’t want to talk and why she had that fight.
It’s all my fault, but could I say those words out loud?
When I finally make it to the building she lives in, it feels like I practically floated there. I don’t remember walking. Or knocking on her door.
All I know is that I’m here.
“Lana? Brooke called and said you wouldn’t let anyone into your room so I thought I’d come over. Are you okay in there?”
It takes her a while to respond.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
I open the door and slowly peek inside. She’s sitting on her bed with puffy eyes, pretending she didn’t just cry. It’s the same face I put up after bawling my eyes out.
“She told you about the picture?” She pushes her pillow into her chest like she’s looking for a hug.
I swallow and nod.
Brooke didn’t just tell me. I was the one who sent it. But I can’t get the words across my lips.
“I saw it. I’m sorry. Can I sit down next to you?”
When she nods, I walk over and gently sit down beside her, wrapping my arms around her so I can at least offer her some comfort. I owe her that and so much more.
“It’s okay,” I mutter.
How do I ever go about fixing this?
It’s too late. Everyone already saw the picture.
“I’m mortified,” Lana says, her voice fluctuating in tone.
“It’s not your fault,” I swiftly say.
The last thing I want is for her to blame herself.
She turns to gaze at me. “Please promise me you won’t tell my dad or my brother.”
That’s what she’s worried about? Her brother?
I place a hand on her knee. “I won’t. I promise, but I can’t guarantee other people won’t.” I can barely look at her. “Most of the students at school already saw it.”
She grimaces. “I hope the one who spread it dies a miserable death.”
Oh God.
I don’t want to die.
But after what happened … I probably deserve it. And knowing Lana and just how fiery she is, she’d probably kill me herself if she knew the truth.
I shiver in place at the thought. “You know what? I think you need some ice cream to cheer you up.”
Anything to take her mind off this.
“Ice cream?” she repeats.
I get up and drag her to the door. “Yeah, let’s go. Before you turn into a pile of mush.”
The ice cream we get is delicious, and I bought her the flavors she loves the most.
I want to make it up to her, but I don’t know how.
I don’t even know how to come clean. How to say the words.
So I just chat and eat the ice cream, searching for the right words to bring her the news. But after a while, Lana’s eyes drift to a van near the park we’re having our little treat in. Something about the way her hawk eyes settle on it makes me pause.
“Hi, ladies,” someone behind us says.
We both turn our heads, but the sound of something clicking makes my heart stop.
“Don’t turn. Don’t make a sound.”
A man hiding his face behind a hoodie and a mask has pointed a gun at her head.
But I definitely recognize the symbol on his mask.
The Bones Brotherhood.
“Lana …” I whisper, ice cream dripping down my hand.
She shushes me.
“That’s right, you’re gonna be real quiet, and you’re gonna get up and walk to that van,” the guy behind her growls.
“And what if I don’t?” she says.
We can’t win from a gun … and especially not one owned by a Bones Brotherhood guy.
Slowly, the man hovers the gun to my head instead, and I quake in place. “You really wanna try me out?”
Tears form in my eyes, and one of them trickles down my face at the thought of facing death again.
“Move,” the man says.
Have they come for me?
We get up, and Lana immediately grabs my hand. “It’s gonna be okay.”
It won’t be.
They know I killed Wayne Ferry with Ares, and now they want revenge.
The ice cream drops from my hand as we slowly make our way to the gate toward the approaching van. Two guys wearing a hat and fake hair grab us by the arms and drag us inside.
And I nearly choke on my own saliva as the shadows swallow me whole.
I’m terrified.
“Please, don’t kill us,” I yelp.
“Shut up,” one of the men says, and he directs his attention toward the guy in front of the wheel. “Drive.”
The van races off so fast I can barely hold on, but something in the dark finds its way to my fingers, curling around in a warm embrace …
Lana’s hand.
The one thing I don’t deserve.
My only lifeline as we’re headed toward hell.
