I never thought Adrian would actually let us out.
When I came up with this plan, the only variable was Adrian. He always keeps me in an ivory tower that he’s somehow blocked from the outside world.
So when I asked him to let me and Jeremy outside, I thought he’d refuse, even though I used my body to relax him a little. Well, used is an exaggeration. I enjoyed every second of last night’s sex. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that I was a little terrified by the pure want I saw on my face in the mirror.
But I also used it to my advantage.
Adrian becomes more open to me when he’s inside me. I wouldn’t say he lets his guard down, but he’s more attuned to me. And for that, I had to completely let go, to sacrifice my fight so he’d fall more into me. I couldn’t have managed to do it if I’d faked it or resisted him. He’s too perceptive, so methodical that I held my breath the entire night thinking he’d catch onto me.
I’m still holding my breath.
Jeremy is playing with his toy car as we sit on the bench in a nearby park. Two of Adrian’s guards stand not far from us, but I convinced them to give us some room. They’re both bulky, scowly, and scary as hell. They would draw more attention instead of warding it off.
The sky is cloudy, the air chilly, and the wind is a constant reminder of the cold season each time it blows my hair back.
The park’s busy, though, as I’d hoped. Kids are playing with their toys and adults are jogging or cycling. It’s the type of chaos that’s keeping the guards on their toes and will work in my favor.
The unknown phone number—or ‘shadow,’ as I like to call him—said he’ll make contact. I sent him a text that I would be in this park today before I deleted the entire conversation.
I’m not sure if Adrian is going through my phone, so I couldn’t take any risks.
Waiting for the shadow to make contact is a whole new concept of nerve-wracking. I’ve been watching my surroundings for the past half an hour like a junkie searching for her next fix. I forced myself to remain still so I wouldn’t alert the guards. They’re neither Kolya nor Yan, but they’re Adrian’s men all the same. They’re alert and won’t hesitate to inform their boss if they notice something sketchy.
My phone vibrates in my purse.
My heart thunders as I retrieve it. Adrian. Although I should feel disappointed that it’s not the shadow, my pulse skyrockets even more.
I wish there was a way to stop myself from having this reaction whenever Adrian is involved. I wish I wasn’t lusting after a married man.
Fuck.
It’s not only lust. It’s something more, and that’s what brought tears to my eyes this morning in the shower.
It doesn’t matter, though. He’s not mine and never will be. That’s why I need to leave.
He doesn’t call me usually—but then again, usually he has me under his watch at home.
Clearing my throat, I answer, “Hey.”
“Are you and Jeremy having fun?” His calm, sophisticated voice comes through. I can imagine him sitting behind his desk and tapping his finger on the table.
“Yeah.” I glance at Jeremy, who’s now preoccupied with watching an army of ants disappearing behind the bench.
“It’s cold.”
“We wore coats, scarves, and gloves. You made sure of it, remember?”
“I do.”
“We’re fine, Adrian. We really are.”
“I like that.” His voice drops in range.
“You like what?”
“You two being fine.”
You mean Lia and Jeremy. But I don’t say that, choosing to remain silent.
“Have a date with me tonight.”
“A d-date?”
“Yes. It’s when two people have one-on-one time together.”
“I know what a date is. I’m just not sure why you want it.”
“You’re already having a date with Jeremy. Why not with me?”
“Are you jealous of your own son?”
“Sometimes. What do you say?”
“About what?”
“The date.”
“Do I even get to refuse?”
“You do, but it’s more fun if you don’t.”
“Fine.”
“I’ll see you later, Lenochka.”
“Go see your fucking comatose wife,” I mutter to the dead line as I release a harsh breath.
I know all this is acting, but it’s getting tedious and I want out of this whole charade. I want to erase the day that I first met Adrian. I want to go back to being the nobody on the streets, thinking about my next meal with Larry.
I wonder if I will find my old friend now.
“Mommy, look!” Jeremy exclaims, pointing at a mini passing circus.
A few clowns walk by with large balloons in their hands. A man on tall stilts throws balls in the air and another man with painted white and black eyes plays the harmonica. The crowd’s attention shifts to them. The children—including Jeremy—are completely captivated by the show.
They stop near us, the clowns dancing and taking children by their hands. One of them perches over to Jeremy and gives him a balloon.
My little angel takes it with a huge grin on his face. Adrian’s guards start to cross the distance between us, probably seeing the clowns as a threat.
My spine jerks upright, but for a different reason entirely. The mini circus is enveloping Jeremy. He dances with them, laughing and calling me over. I try to get to him, but they keep me out while smiling and juggling balls in the air.
I shove through them, my palms turning sweaty. “Jeremy!”
A heavy grip closes around my wrist and I shriek as I’m pulled back, but the sound is drowned by a hand against my mouth.
All I can breathe in is leather as he drags me away from the crowd. I attempt to kick him, but he grabs me by the hair. “Stay fucking still, Duchess. We don’t want to snap your beautiful neck now, do we?”
“Jeremy!” I mumble against his hand, but it barely comes out as a word.
He doesn’t release me until we’re in an alleyway with my back pressed against a wall. I’m breathing harshly as I stare up at him. He’s wearing a black hat and a mask that covers his nose and mouth. Only his eyes are visible, they’re brown, deep, and so familiar.
“I told you I’m taking Jeremy with me,” I say, panting.
He chuckles, the sound condescending. “You think Adrian will let his only son leave his sight? He’ll flip the world upside down for him.”
“Still—”
“Shut the fuck up with your whining, Duchess. You said you have something for me.”
“I won’t tell you until you take me and Jeremy away.”
“Away? Your mission is here. Why the fuck should you go away?”
“But—”
“You don’t remember, do you?” He expels an exaggerated sigh. “You’re a pain in the fucking ass, Duchess. Always were.”
“What?”
He removes his mask and I gasp. His face, the one with the slight stubble and the straight nose. It’s the same from my nightmare. The man who was holding my hand as I grabbed the gun and pulled the trigger. “You!”
“Yes, me. Your one and only—or what-the-fuck-ever.”
“But you’re not real. It was a nightmare.”
He pinches my cheek. Hard.
“Ow. What was that for?”
“It’s how you differentiate between reality and a hallucination, Duchess. Pain means it’s real. Lack of pain means it’s a sick game playing in your head.”
My mouth drops open. “How…how do you know that?”
“I know a lot of things about you, but most important of all, I know you didn’t get your mission done, Lia.”
“I’m not Lia,” I mutter. For the first time, the words feeling insincere.
“Yes, you are, Duchess.”
“No. The real Lia is lying in bed, staring at nowhere.”
He raises a brow. “Is she real, though? Did you test your pain?”
My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth and I force it down as I murmur, “No. I’m not Lia. I’m Winter.”
“You really believe that shit, don’t you? Just how far have you gone this time?”
“It is real,” I snap. “I’m not Lia.”
He leans over to whisper, “Then how did you help me with Adrian’s assassination attempt a year ago? The nightmare you saw me in? Yeah, that was a memory, Duchess.”
I shake my head frantically, not wanting to hear this, not wanting to let the influx of energy that’s flowing through my veins hit my head.
My limbs tremble and I’m terrified of what that influx will bring.
“I’m Winter. My name is Winter Cavanaugh and—”
A flashback hits me so hard, my words die in my throat.
I’m standing in the middle of a church, murmuring “I do” as I stare up at Adrian. He’s in a tux that makes him tenfold more handsome while I’m wearing a white wedding dress.
His strong hand wraps around my nape as he pulls me against his chest. “You’re mine now, Mrs. Volkov.”
His lips meet mine in all consuming kiss that robs my breaths.
I don’t kiss him back.
All I think about is how to finish his life.
I gasp as I’m thrust back to the present.
“Do you remember now?” Luca asks. That’s his name. Luca. My partner in all of this.
And I do remember.
It’s true.
My name is Lia. Lia Volkov.
