I entered the dining hall, looking forward to spending time with Sara today. I didn’t expect her to feel the same way, but I planned to change that before the day was over. I was going to start with training and see where it went from there.
I thought she might respond better to me as a trainer, so I was all business when I reached the table where she sat with Jordan and another girl.
“Ready to start training?”
Sara nodded without speaking.
“Come with me then.” I turned away and left the room to wait for her in the main hall. She came out a minute later, looking nervous but resigned.
When I started for the main entrance, she said, “We’re not using a training room?”
I looked back at her. “I thought we’d go outdoors. Would you rather stay inside?”
“No,” she replied quickly and hurried to catch up.
Outside, we walked around the building and I steered us toward the woods.
“Where are we going?”
“For a walk,” I replied without looking at her. Seamus had told me about how many times he and Niall had caught Sara heading for the small lake on the property. I suspected she missed the ocean and was looking for a body of water to make her feel less homesick. I couldn’t think of a better place to start her training.
She harrumphed softly. “I think I should tell you that when I go for walks, I usually end up brought back in chains.”
Her wry tone made it hard to keep a straight face. “I think we’ll be fine.”
We walked in silence for a while before I tried to get her talking. “Other than the problem with your training, how are you doing here?”
“It’s not home,” she answered sharply, but I could hear the hurt in her voice.
I looked at her, and she stared straight ahead.
“I know you miss Nate and your friends, but it’s not like you won’t see them again. And you aren’t alone here. You’ve made some new friends, and you have Tristan and Chris and me.”
“Until you go off on one of your missions again.”
“Are you trying to tell me that you missed me?” I couldn’t keep the smile from my face. She wouldn’t be angry if she didn’t care.
“No.”
“I have no plans to go anywhere for the next month so you are stuck with me for a while,” I said, hoping to reassure her.
“Lucky me,” she grumbled, and I laughed, glad that she seemed more at ease.
“Where did you go?”
“It was a job, clearing out some nests,” I answered soberly. “Nothing you want to hear about.”
“You were looking for the Master, weren’t you?”
“You don’t need to worry about him anymore,” I said.
My words only upset her more. She stopped short and put her hands on her hips.
How did I make her understand that she no longer had to fear the Master? We would find and eliminate him, and all she had to do was train and settle into her new life.
“I’m not a child, Nikolas, and I deserve to know what is going on. If you can’t be open with me, you can go find someone else to train.”
I let out a harsh breath and grabbed her wrist when she turned to go back the way we’d come. “I see you are still the same pain in the ass.”
“Takes one to know one.”
I couldn’t see her face, but I heard the smile in her voice.
“We found where we believe Eli was staying in Portland, and there were signs that the Master could be in Nevada. It’s not surprising since Vegas is the perfect place for vampires to blend in and hunt. We hit a nest in Henderson and that led us to two more nests near Vegas, but none of them gave us anything useful about the Master. Whoever he is, he is well hidden and his followers have no idea where he is.”
She looked at me expectantly. “So, what happens now?”
“Now we train while someone else looks for him. A Master is no small matter, and the Council has made it a priority to find him. They’ve already sent extra teams to the US dedicated to hunting him. It is only a matter of time before he is found.”
We continued our walk until she let out a small gasp and broke into a run. I followed at a normal pace and found her standing at the edge of the lake, glowing with happiness.
I knew how she felt seeing the lake for the first time. I discovered this place a few days after Tristan and I came to the valley, and I used to come here to swim and be alone. I’d even considered building a small house here, but I’d never gotten around to it. It pleased me to know she loved it here too.
“This is incredible,” she gushed. “I can’t believe people don’t come here all the time.”
I smiled. “Not everyone loves the woods as much as you do.”
“Then why did you bring me here?”
“Because I’m not like everyone else.” I sat on a rock and motioned for her to take the one next to me. “Let’s talk.”
She sat hesitantly. “I thought we were going to train.”
“We will, but first I want to talk about your training. Callum told me you don’t seem to want to use your Mori strength or speed.”
“You talked to him about me?” she asked defensively.
“Of course. I needed to understand the problem so we can fix it.”
Talking to Callum had been a good idea. He might not have been the right trainer for Sara, but he was observant. He’d told me she was sensitive about her Mori whenever he tried to talk to her about it, and he suspected she was afraid of the demon. In his defense, he had no idea about Sara’s history or her unique ancestry, which made him unqualified to help her get past her fear.
She gave me a skeptical look. “You think you know what my problem is?”
“I have several theories. The first is that you are so used to suppressing your Mori that you don’t know how to do anything else. Demons are afraid of Fae magic, which explains why your Mori doesn’t fight for control like mine would if I kept it locked away. You need to learn to loosen your control just as you would exercise any muscle. It takes practice.”
“That’s it then?”
“That is one theory.” My gaze locked with hers. “My other theory is that you are afraid.”
She rubbed her hands on her jeans. “Why…would I be afraid?”
“I was there in the wine cellar, Sara, and I saw what happened when you let your demon out. I also saw the fear on your face when I asked you about it the next day. It terrified you how close the demon came to controlling you. But that would never have happened.” I hated bringing up that night in Portland, but she had to face her fears if she was going to conquer them.
She paled and turned her face away. “You’re wrong. It almost did.”
“No, it didn’t. Look at me.”
Her eyes met mine again, and I saw her distress.
“I would not have let it take you,” I said firmly.
“But if you hadn’t gotten there when you did, I –”
“You would have done it on your own. You’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. The demon might have gained control for a short time, but you would not have let it stay that way.”
Hope sparked in her eyes. “How can you know that?”
“Because I know you. You are one of the most willful people I’ve ever met, and it would take a lot more than a demon to control you. That I know from experience.”
She gave me a small smile. “Are you going to train me to fight without my demon?”
“Today we are going to start with the basics. You will learn to open yourself to your Mori safely.”
She leaned away from me. “I can’t –”
“Yes, you can. This is something every one of us learns to do, and you will, too. You are a lot stronger than the rest of us were when we started.”
I took her hand in mine, hoping my touch would ease her fear. “Do you trust me?”
She nodded.
“And you know that I would never let anything harm you, right?”
“Yes,” she answered without hesitancy or doubt, and it pleased me to know she had such faith in me after all she’d been through.
I released her hand reluctantly. “Good. It might be easier if you tell me how it is that you are able to control your demon. How do you keep your Mori separate from your Fae power?”
Her brows drew together, and it was a moment before she answered. “It’s hard to explain. I can feel the demon in my head and sense its thoughts, or rather its emotions, if that makes sense.”
I nodded.
“When I was little I used to hear its voice whispering in my mind, kind of like a song you get stuck in your head and it won’t go away no matter what you think about. I think I was five or six when it first tried to come out, and it scared me so much that I accidentally released my power, which I had no idea about until that day. The beast – that’s what I used to call my demon before you told me what it was – was afraid of my power and it pulled into the back of my mind to get away from it. I was scared to death and I had no idea what was going on with me, but I knew I’d done something to make the creepy voice in my head quiet.”
Her eyes took on a faraway look. “It wasn’t until I found an injured robin and the power burst out of me to heal the bird’s wing that I realized what I could really do. After that, I had to learn to keep my power locked away and only call on it when I needed it and also how to tap into it to keep the beast – I mean the demon – caged in the back of my mind. The only times the demon seemed to wake up was when I did a healing and drained my power. That used to happen all the time in the beginning, but it doesn’t happen anymore.”
Hearing her talk about her childhood and how she’d had to learn to deal with a Mori demon and emerging Fae powers on her own, my respect for her grew tenfold.
“I don’t know if I am more amazed by your level of control or that you learned it at such a young age with no guidance or training. Are you consciously doing it?”
She shrugged, looking more at ease. “In the beginning I did, and it was hard as hell. I lost control of my power all the time because I had to focus on keeping the beast – demon – quiet. Now, it’s like breathing. I don’t have to think about it unless I use too much power and get weak. Then the demon starts to move and I have to use force with it. How do you do it?”
I laughed, trying to think of how to explain it to her. “Not like that. You talk about your Mori and your Fae power like they are parts of you that you move as easily as an arm or a leg. For the rest of us, there is no real separation between us and our demons. My Mori and I are joined completely, and I feel its thoughts and emotions as easily as my own.”
“How can you control it if it’s that much a part of you?” she asked as if she couldn’t conceive such a thing.
“I learned from a young age to suppress the demon’s natural urges just like you would any craving. But unlike you, I can’t block it completely, and I’m always aware of my Mori because together we make one person.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think I could live like that.”
“And I couldn’t live any other way. Now I understand why it’s so difficult for you to tap into your Mori’s strength. You keep it bound so tightly you aren’t even aware of its presence half the time. We need to show you how to get to know it.”
She clenched the bottom of her hoodie. “How do we do that?”
She wasn’t going to like my next words, but there was only one way to move forward.
“You said you keep it locked in a part of your mind, right? You need to loosen your hold on it and connect with it.”
She shot to her feet, her eyes fearful. “I can’t do that. You don’t understand how it felt when I let it out before.”
She was right. I’d lost control of my Mori as a child, but I’d never given myself up completely to the demon. I could only imagine how frightening that had been for her.
But she had won in that battle of wills, and her demon hadn’t forgotten that. She just needed to believe in her own strength.
“It won’t be like that this time because we won’t let it. Trust me.”
I held my hand out to her, and she let me tug her down to sit on the rock again.
“Take it slowly. Just open up a little and remember that you are the stronger one.”
She gave me a puzzled look. “I thought the whole purpose of this is to tap into the demon because it has all the strength and speed.”
“Physically yes, but mentally you are stronger, and your Mori knows that.”
There was still doubt in her eyes as she closed them. Her brow furrowed as if she was deep in concentration. Minutes ticked by. Several times she flinched then took a deep breath, and I could sense the struggle going on inside her.
Her jaw clenched, and I gave her hand a small squeeze to let her know I was here. She relaxed for a few seconds before she jerked and cried out.
I cradled her cold face in my hands. “Look at me.”
She opened her eyes, and the fear in them made all my protective instincts come roaring to life. But this was one battle I could not fight for her.
“I know this feels wrong and frightening to you, but that is only because you aren’t used to it. Don’t run from it, and don’t push it away. Feel your Mori, get to know it, and let it get to know you.”
She closed her eyes again. I went back to holding her hand and watching her for any sign she was in trouble. She sat quietly, her expression unreadable, and the only movement was her breathing. Every now and then her eyelids flickered, but she was so still she could have been in a trance. As long as she didn’t appear distressed or afraid, I was willing to sit beside her and wait.
A jumble of emotions suddenly came through the bond, and I sensed it was coming from her demon. My Mori pressed forward. Solmi?
“Sara, are you okay?”
She didn’t answer, and I squeezed her hand, worried she might be in trouble. “Sara, talk to me.”
Her eyes opened, and I held back my sigh of relief. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. This is so weird and kind of intense.”
I smiled. “I imagine it is. I think that’s enough for now.”
“But I just started.”
“You’ve been at it for over an hour.”
Her mouth fell open. “I have?”
“Yes, and you don’t want to overdo it.” I knew from experience that learning to work with your demon could be mentally and physically draining.
“Okay.” She closed her eyes, and when she opened them again a minute later, they brimmed with tears.
“Sara?” I asked, afraid the demon had hurt her.
She wiped her eyes. “I’m fine. It was just…not what I expected.”
I relaxed when I could sense no pain from her. “What happened?”
“We talked a little. Well, I did most of the talking.” She went to stand by the lake. “I can’t describe it. What is it like for you?”
I hid my astonishment, not wanting to upset her. How did you have a conversation with your Mori?
“I feel my Mori’s thoughts, but they are almost like my own thoughts. I don’t talk to it like I would to another person.”
Her face fell. “Oh.”
“Don’t do that.” I walked over to stand beside her. “You’ve made great progress, considering your fear when we started.”
“I know.” She looked at the water. “It’s just…never mind.”
“Tell me.”
She bent to pick up some stones and began tossing them into the water, creating ripples across the glassy surface. When she spoke again, I could hear the frustration and loneliness in her voice.
“Nothing about me is normal. I’m probably the only one of my kind in existence, and I don’t fit in here like the other trainees. I can’t fight, and I hate killing. What kind of warrior doesn’t like killing? I don’t even connect with my Mori the way the rest of you do.”
I took one of the stones from her hand and skipped it across the lake as I thought about what to say to ease her mind.
“Your Fae blood does make you different, but that doesn’t mean you are not as much a Mohiri as the rest of us. And there is nothing wrong with not wanting to kill.”
She sighed dejectedly. “My Mori is afraid of me. I bet you don’t have to worry about that with yours.”
“No, and that will change for you once you and your Mori learn to join. Trust me; all it wants is to be one with you. Without that, it has no purpose.”
She looked at me, her eyes troubled. “It said my power burns it. I promised not to hurt it again, but what if my Fae power keeps getting stronger?”
“Is your power getting stronger?”
I’d been so happy to have her back I hadn’t considered the implications of her being half Fae. Would her power grow? What would happen to her Mori if her Fae side became more dominant?
“Yes.”
“Tell me,” I urged gently.
“It’s hard to explain because I’m not sure what is going on. A couple of times, I felt a cold spot in my chest right where I was stabbed.” She rubbed her arms. “And my power’s been acting up. At first, it was small stuff like making the leaves move and a bottle of Coke almost exploding. Then we had a training exercise with bazerats, and when I touched one of them it freaked out and my power shocked it.”
“What happened to the bazerat?” I asked with a mix of fascination and concern. Tristan had mentioned a training session with bazerats, but he hadn’t given me much detail.
“I didn’t want to hurt it,” she said miserably. “I knocked it out and the other one too. Celine wanted me to kill the bazerats, but those creatures were terrified of us.”
I didn’t try to hide my surprise. “You felt sorry for demons?”
She lifted her chin. “I didn’t find out until later that bazerats are demons, but I still wouldn’t have killed them just because someone thought it would be fun.”
I pictured her standing up to Celine, who did not like being challenged, especially by other women. But when Sara believed in something, no amount of pressure would sway her.
Sara chewed her lip. “And then I killed the lamprey demon, but I did that on purpose. It was me or him, and I figured if I could hurt one demon, I could hurt another. I think I expected to knock it out like I did with the bazerat. I didn’t know it would explode like that.”
I wasn’t sure what to think about the things she’d shared with me. It was clear her power was growing and it was deadly to demons. A tiny cold knot of fear formed in my stomach. What would happen to her own demon if her power continued to grow?
“Have you told anyone else about this?” I asked, keeping my tone light.
“Only Tristan and Roland.”
“Good. Keep it between us for now, and let me know if it happens again.”
She met my gaze fearfully. “You didn’t answer my question. Will my Fae power hurt my Mori? Could I hurt another Mohiri?”
“Honestly, I don’t know.” I said the only thing I could think of, and I hoped I was right. “The way I see it, you’ve had the two of them inside you your whole life, and if you were going to hurt your Mori, you would have done it by now. Did you feel like your demon was in danger when you had these flare-ups?”
“No.”
“There’s your answer then. Let’s not worry about that unless we need to.”
She visibly relaxed, and I felt better as well. If she was able to shield her Mori when she used her Fae power, she could continue to do that as her power got stronger.
“What now?” she asked.
She needed a change of pace after the emotional session, and I had just the thing in mind. There was nothing like nature and some good old fashioned exercise to clear your head.
“Now we do some other training.”
She stared at me warily. “What kind of training?”
I removed my sword and sweater, and laid them on my rock. Turning back to her, I said, “Nothing difficult. How about we go for a run?”
She burst out laughing. “You expect me to keep up with you?”
I smiled. “I’ll try to dial it back a bit.”
She made a face and stretched her legs. “Gee, I feel so special. How long will it take me to be as fast as you?”
Distracted by the way her jeans hugged her backside as she warmed up, I almost forgot to answer her. “About a hundred years or so.”
I wished I hadn’t spoken when she abandoned her stretching to stare at me. “A hundred years?”
“Give or take a few. Your Mori will give you strength, but it’ll be a long time before you develop that kind of speed. Didn’t anyone explain that to you?”
“I think Callum was too busy trying to get me to use my Mori to go over that stuff. But what you’re saying doesn’t make sense. How can warriors fight vampires if they can’t keep up with them?”
I crossed my arms, wondering if Tristan knew about the serious gap in her education, something I planned to rectify, starting today.
“Apparently there is a lot they haven’t told you. How much do you know about vampires and how they are made?”
“I know a vampire drinks from someone and forces the person to drink their blood and that’s how the demon is passed into the new host. It takes three or four days for the new demon to grow strong enough to take control of the person. Oh, and only mature vampires can make another vampire.”
“That’s all true, but did you also know that new vampires are weak and their strength grows over time?” I asked.
She shook her head, her eyes wide in disbelief.
Her lack of knowledge angered me. One of the first things she should have been taught here was how vampires matured and how to tell a young vampire from an older one. That knowledge had saved many warriors’ lives in battle.
“They are stronger than a human, but no match for a trained warrior, and it takes them almost as long as it does us to develop the kind of speed you’ve seen. Most of the vampires we saw in Maine were mature, and it’s unusual to see that many mature vampires together. Many of the vampires warriors deal with don’t have that kind of strength or speed.”
“I knew baby vamps were weak, but I thought that only lasted a few months,” she said, looking very relieved to hear that was not the case.
“We’re going to need to add some studies to your training. We’ll start this afternoon.”
Normally, we had people who handled the trainees’ studies, but I was reluctant to entrust her education to anyone else. I told myself it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it gave me a reason to spend more time with her.
“But right now, how about that run?” I said.
“Okay.”
We ran the whole perimeter of the lake, which was roughly five miles. I slowed so she could keep pace with me, and I wasn’t surprised she never fell behind. She’d spent half her life outdoors with werewolves and trolls, and she’d probably had to push herself to keep up with them.
By the time we finished our run, she was winded but glowing. I made a note to run in the woods with her whenever I could.
She was quiet but no longer withdrawn as we walked back to the stronghold. At the main entrance, I opened the door for her.
“Get some lunch and rest for a bit. We’ll meet up again at two.”
“Okay,” she said, looking at ease after our morning together.
I remembered then that I had planned to give her a gift for her first training session. I removed the knife I carried on my hip and held it out to her.
“Here. This is to replace the knife you lost.”
She unsheathed the knife and touched the pattern on the handle. The pleasure on her face told me I’d chosen the right gift.
“You did great today,” I told her.
“Thanks,” she blurted, turning away like she was embarrassed by my praise.
I opened my mouth to tell her she had earned it, but one of the trainees chose that moment to come racing into the main hall.
“Shut the door! Shut the door before they get out!” he shouted frantically.
I slammed the door shut when I saw a small white creature careening toward us. The kark changed course and flew up to the high arched ceiling.
“What is it?” Sara asked, tilting her head to look at the kark.
The trainee’s reply was drowned out by the sounds of an entire flock of karks headed in our direction. Karks were not dangerous to us, but I pulled Sara behind me anyway as they filled the main hall.
A warrior named Sahir ran into the hall, followed by a group of trainees. Sahir took care of the menagerie, and he helped educate the trainees on the many species in the world and how to handle them.
One of the boys had a sword, and I almost laughed out loud at the sight of him swinging the weapon at the tiny karks whipping around his head.
“Don’t hurt them!” Sahir lunged for the boy. “Do you realize how long it takes to breed karks? We can’t kill them.”
“What the hell are we supposed to do with them?” the boy yelled.
“We have to round them up somehow.”
Sara ran over to Sahir. “How do you catch them?” she asked him.
“Normally you’d use a spray made from scarab demon pheromone. Karks can’t resist it. Unfortunately, this batch was not supposed to hatch yet, and I didn’t see a bottle of spray in the crates.”
I frowned. Karks were hard to breed, and the people who handled them were fastidious about their care. No one would ship a batch of eggs without making sure the pheromone was packed with them.
Sahir shouted something about getting a sedative to calm the karks, and then he ran from the hall, leaving us with a few hundred frantic karks.
The only word I could use to describe the scene in the hall was chaos. Trainees ran around, trying unsuccessfully to catch the creatures as Chris and a dozen other warriors ran into the hall and stared in shock.
“What in God’s name is going on here?” Tristan bellowed from the second floor landing, before he descended the stairs with Celine. “Who is responsible for this?” he shouted above the noise when he reached the main floor. “Where is Sahir?”
“He went to get some kind of sedative to knock them out,” Sara told him.
Tristan stared angrily at the mess around him. “How did this happen?”
Sara shook her head and pointed at the other trainees. “Ask them. I was with Nikolas.”
Jordan stepped forward. “It was an accident. We laid all the eggs out after breakfast and turned them as Sahir instructed. We just went back to turn them again and they were all hatched.”
“I want these things caged before they make an even bigger mess,” Tristan ordered, joining us at the center of the hall.
Celine squealed and started hopping around and trying to get kark dung from her hair. I had to turn away so she wouldn’t see me struggling not to laugh.
Sara didn’t try to hide her amusement, although her laugh was cut short when she got a whiff of the stuff. Her eyes watered, and she covered her nose and mouth.
I was grinning when my eyes met Tristan’s, and after a few seconds, his scowl turned into a smile. He shook his head and looked around the hall that was going to require several cleaning crews after the karks were rounded up.
“They must be getting tired,” one of the boys said. “Should we try to catch them now?”
I looked where he was pointing and saw Sara holding a sleeping kark while several dozen of the creatures rested on surfaces around her. Having seen what she could do to a werewolf and two hellhounds, I knew she had to be doing the same thing now.
Walking over to her, I said in a low voice, “Are you doing this?”
“Yes, but I’m not sure how long it will work on them. I hope Sahir gets here soon.”
“Someone needs to be reprimanded for this disaster,” Celine said when she and Tristan walked over to us.
I didn’t bother to tell her there was no one to blame for this one. She was too upset about the white dung clinging to her hair to listen to reason.
One of the boys ran up to us carrying mesh equipment bags. “Will these do?”
“Good idea!” Sara smiled at him and called out to the other trainees to help them.
They managed to get all the sleeping creatures in the bags, but that didn’t help with the hundreds of karks flying around the room. It got decidedly worse when the situation became too much for the newly hatched karks, and they began to defecate everywhere. Tristan threw up his arms, and he, Chris, and I stood together watching the spectacle.
When Sara and one of the other trainees collided with Celine, and the three of them went down in a tangle of arms and legs, it was all I could do not to laugh.
Sara sat up covered in stinking kark dung and muttered, “Ah hell,” and I had to stifle the bark of laughter that almost slipped out. I’d just spent the morning getting her to warm up to me, and I had no desire to start over.
I moved to help her up, but Chris beat me to it. So I went to assist Celine instead. She clung to my arm for a moment then let go when she looked down and saw the filth covering her.
“If anyone needs me, I’ll be soaking in my tub for the next two hours,” Celine announced, giving me a look that said I was welcome to join her.
This was a new situation for me; propositioned by a former lover while my mate, who didn’t know she was my mate, stood several feet away. I looked at Tristan and Chris, who were laughing openly, and Chris mouthed, Good luck with that. It was all so absurd that I could only shake my head and laugh.
Sahir chose that moment to arrive with the sedative. “Sorry it took so long. I had to dilute the sedative and transfer it to a spray canister so it will reach them.”
To illustrate, he lifted the nozzle and lightly sprayed two karks. It took about a minute for the sedative to kick in and bring the karks down.
Sara picked one up and smiled at Sahir. “It worked!”
Sahir turned to Tristan. “I diluted this, but it still might knock people out if they breathe too much of it. We should clear the hall before I spray more of it.”
Tristan ordered everyone from the hall. He looked at me as we walked to the nearest common room. “Do you want to join me this afternoon on a call with the task force? After we both clean up, of course.”
“Can we do it around five? Sara and I are working on her studies after lunch.”
He gave me a puzzled look. “Her studies?”
“Yes, it seems we overlooked that part of her training. She didn’t even know how vampires matured until I told her.”
Tristan looked abashed. “She is the same age as the other trainees who have all had schooling. I didn’t stop to think that Sara –”
A cry of pain came from the hall.
Sara.
