Grace
I was living in a dream.
A bright pink sunrise, warm afternoon wind through your hair, scent of fresh-cut grass and mountains in the distance dream.
I’d known from the first moment I met him that I wanted Jaxson Brittain. I wanted to kiss him, to feel his hands on me, to see if he was as good in bed as he was on the ice.
But that had all been a pipe dream, a fantasy, one I knew would never play out. He was my brother’s teammate. That was all I needed to know to understand nothing would ever happen between us.
And then it did.
It was one thing for us to give in to the way we craved one another. That fire had been burning hot since the moment I pressed my ass against him in a crowded Austin bar.
But it wasn’t just a one-time, fuck-and-get-it-out-of-our-system deal.
I didn’t know how we ended up here. I didn’t know how many stars had to align for him to have been at my brother’s house when I showed up crying, suitcase in hand. Or for him to follow me upstairs, to make a joke about taking a drive that turned into an actual road trip. I didn’t know what had shifted in him to make him break, to make him give in and kiss me and touch me knowing the possible consequences.
All I knew was that it all felt like a dream, and if it was, I never wanted to wake up.
After the night at Wilson State Park, we slowed down.
We woke up later, spending more time wrapped in our sleeping bags or sheets — depending. Which meant we didn’t hit the road until later, and for obvious reasons, we didn’t care to drive very much farther before we were pulling off for the night.
It seemed like there was this invisible clock ticking in the car with us, and the longer we were in that car, the more we heard it. When it got too loud, reminding us of the impending end of summer, we’d climb out, run away, and lose ourselves in each other like we had all the time in the world.
We drove through Kansas and into Colorado, swinging through the Rocky Mountains because neither of us had ever been before. Well, technically Jaxson had grown up in them, but not the ones in Colorado. The range was different this far south, and I’d marveled at the tree-covered slopes just as much as I marveled at the way he looked at them.
It was one thing to travel alone, to not have to report to anyone or ask anyone’s opinion when deciding what to do. There was a freedom in that, in being with your thoughts as you explored, in meeting new people and opening yourself to new experiences.
But driving on the road with Jaxson… it was something more.
I lived for what the day would hold, which usually, we didn’t know. We’d see a sign and follow it. We’d pull off for gas and ask a local the best way to waste an hour. We tried new food and hiked new trails. We laughed and played, sneaking kisses when no one was looking, and every night, whether we slept in a tent or a Five-Star hotel, he was right there beside me.
Inside me.
Every chance he got.
A week blew by like that — with everything heavy left in Kansas, and only the light and playful following us on this leg of our trip. The only tension came when I had to field calls from my brother, which would sober both of us in an instant. But we never let that sink in for long before we were off on the next adventure.
Jaxson indulged me in my silly questions and even sillier road trip games, and where he’d been a bit grumpy and hesitant in the beginning, he said yes to everything now.
I loved that — that he left his reservations somewhere in the middle of the US. Right now, he wasn’t thinking about all the reasons to say no. He wasn’t thinking about the season waiting for him back in Tampa.
He was just here, living, with me.
We were getting ready for bed at a hotel just outside the Rocky Mountain National Park when my phone buzzed on the bathroom counter. I was brushing my teeth, but I smiled when I saw Maven’s name on the screen.
I slid my thumb across it, revealing a group text she’d started with me and Livia.
Maven: So, Livia and I are having martinis. Naturally, we thought about you and your predicament at the tournament, and we need updates.
Livia: That’s code for DID YOU AND JAXSON GET IT ON YET?
I bit down on my toothbrush, laughing to myself as I looked through my GIF app. When I found one of the Route 66 sign, I sent it, closing my phone and setting it back on the counter.
It promptly blew up with messages.
Livia: THATTA FUCKING GIRL.
Maven: Okay, first of all — happy for you. Second of all, this feels like a betrayal to Vince, so I feel like you should not tell me anything further.
Livia: Come on, Mave. Chicks before dicks. Do you tell Vince how you wipe, too?
Maven: You’re disgusting.
Maven: I just gave her a tittie twist for that, Grace. Just so you know.
Livia: Joke’s on her though, because I liked it.
Maven: *eye roll emoji* It’s true. She asked me to do it harder.
Livia: ANYWAY — forget what Maven said about not telling us more. I need details. How is it?
Me: A lady never gets railed within an inch of her life and tells.
Livia: YOU TEASE.
Maven: I apologize for my best friend’s lack of boundaries. You’ll get used to it eventually.
Livia: If you drive by one of those highway sex stores, stop and get a peg. Something tells me Jaxson Brittain would love a good pegging.
I spit out a laugh loud enough to make Jaxson ask if I was okay.
Me: I’ll leave the kinky shit to you, Doc. For now, just know I’m doing great, and there’s nothing for either of you to worry about.
Only half a lie. I was doing great.
How I would feel when this all had to end, on the other hand…
I batted that thought away like a baseball pitched right down the middle, reading the flurry of texts and emojis that came in with a goofy smile on my face. Maven and Livia felt like the kind of girls I could be best friends with, the kind who would keep even a secret as big as this one.
The next day, when we crossed over the Colorado border into Wyoming, we saw a sign for a car show in Cheyenne, and Jaxson parked us with a giddiness I’d never seen flowing out of him.
He wore his hat and sunglasses, even though I didn’t see a single person so much as giving him a second look like they might know him. The opposite had been true in Colorado. He’d been recognized when we were getting gas, and for that reason, we’d had every meal either in our car or hotel room while we were traveling through.
But at the car show, he seemed not to care — at least for the moment. He dragged me by the hand through an aisle between two rows of cars, pointing at each one and rattling off things about them that might as well have been him speaking in a foreign language.
I had zero idea what a cabriolet or brougham was, but I knew Jaxson lit up when he told me about them, and that was enough for me.
I mostly marveled at the beautiful paint jobs and gorgeous leather interiors. And when some of the owners let us sit in the cars, revving up the engines, I swore Jaxson got a hard-on when he saw me gripping the steering wheel and pretending to drive.
Back on the road, we originally planned to drive straight up through the state. But we didn’t get far before signs for Yellowstone National Park were begging us to take a detour.
I pulled up my phone and began researching, tapping my bare feet on the dash to the mellow beat of “Rose Colored Lenses” by Miley Cyrus. Halfway through the song, Jaxson reached over and slid his large palm along the inside of my thigh, hooking his hand there and holding tight. I glanced up to find him smirking at me.
“What?”
“I like this song,” he said.
I paused, listening to the lyrics, and then my cheeks warmed.
“Don’t worry — I won’t tell any of your teammates you like a Miley song,” I said.
“If you don’t, I will. We need this banger on the warm-up playlist.”
I laughed, then leaned over the console and angled my phone screen toward him. “Okay, so. Here’s the sitch for tomorrow. Most of the camping sites are booked, but,” I added, wiggling in my seat with excitement. “There are some backcountry options available. And I already applied for a permit.”
“And what exactly does a backcountry camping site entail?”
I bit my lip. “Just a little hiking.”
“How much is a little?”
“Like… fifteen miles or so?”
Jaxson coughed. “Fifteen miles? We haven’t trained for that, Nova.”
“Oh, please,” I said, pinching the skin over his abdomen — because there was no fat there. “Says the man who probably skates fifteen miles a day. You’re fit as hell, and I hike all the time. We’ll be fine. We can take it slow.”
He shook his head, cocking a brow at me, but when he saw the excitement in my eyes, his resolve wavered.
“It’ll be an adventure,” I promised. “Think of everything we’ll see. The stars! Can you imagine the stars?!”
“I imagine they’d be just as bright from the parking lot of a hotel.”
I clapped my hands together and held them under my chin, batting my lashes up at him. “Please, please, please.”
He sighed, glancing at me and then back at the road as a smirk painted his lips. “We better find a store. We’ll need more than the few supplies you picked up in Tennessee.”
I threw my hands up at him giving in, doing a little dance before I leaned across the console and kissed him.
It was just a peck to his cheek at first, but then I kissed along his jaw, his neck, and back up to claim his mouth with a moan vibrating between us. I slid my hand into his hair, tugging on the strands, heat flooding to where his hand still held my thigh.
A dream. It was an absolute dream. How could I just touch this man, kiss him, any time I wanted to? How were we existing in this world where no one and nothing else mattered?
My stomach tightened a bit when I remembered it would end.
Eventually, it had to.
But I swallowed that truth down. That was future Grace’s problem.
“Woman,” Jaxson said, kissing me back but breaking contact to look at the road. “I’m driving.”
“What’s wrong? Can’t drive when you’re… distracted?” I teased, and I slid my hand down between his legs, rubbing the length of him through his athletic shorts.
He sucked in a hot breath, pinning my wrist before I could stroke him again.
“You want us to wreck?”
“I want you to wreck me.”
At the next exit, we were off the road and he was granting my wish.
• • •
I found myself wondering again about the stars aligning the next day when we pulled up to the Bechler Ranger Station at Yellowstone, because not only were we able to score a camping site in the backcountry, but we got the one right across from a hidden gem of a hot spring — Mr. Bubbles.
I was never the best at planning when I traveled, and sometimes that bit me in the ass. Reservations filled up weeks, and sometimes months, in advance for things like this.
We got lucky.
And I felt like that was the theme of the summer.
After talking to one of the rangers at the station, I grew more and more excited. What I thought would just be a hike and overnight camping adventure was now a trek to a hot spring that was one of Yellowstone’s best-kept secrets. It was where the river met the springs, which meant it wouldn’t boil us alive like some of the other thermal spots in the park, and it wasn’t illegal to hop in, since technically, it was the river — and swimming in the river was allowed.
We just had to get to it, which required a fourteen-mile hike.
After quick research and a shopping trip the day before, Jaxson and I were both loaded up with giant packs.
We had our tent, sleeping bags, cooking supplies, and food — including the various snacks I insisted on being essential, like Peanut M&Ms and sunflower seeds — plenty of water, rain gear, knives and multi-tools, a GPS, a satellite locator beacon, trekking poles, headlamps, water-treatment tools, toiletries — including toilet paper — bear spray, a fire starter, and more.
We also made sure to pack extra clothes and — after advice from one of the employees at the store — a pair of rugged sandals to help us cross the rivers, along with sunscreen, insect repellent, and other necessities.
It was only one night, but it was one night in the backcountry. Where I likely would have just winged it, Jaxson was more sensible. He decided he’d rather we be over-prepared than under.
Once we were loaded up and had our permits and camping site in hand, Jaxson grabbed a map and led the way.
“You look so hot with that bear spray on your hip,” I said, waggling my brows.
“Is this your kink? A backcountry hiking man?”
“You know my kink,” I said, and just saying the word had my cheeks heating.
Jaxson smirked, pulling me under his arm as best he could with my pack in the way. He lowered his lips to the back of my ear.
“You want me to tell you how pretty you were on your knees last night? Or how much I loved the way you moaned when I called you my little whore? Because I’m happy to relive the moment.”
Electricity zipped through me, the memory bright and blinding. I’d never felt as free to explore what I liked in the bedroom, never knew what I wanted at all. But Jaxson had known. He’d known without me having to ask.
I bit my lip before playfully shoving him away. “We have a big hike today. Save your energy.”
“Oh, believe me — I will.”
His smile was promising, and my body hummed with anticipation as we snaked our way through the woods.
Yellowstone was just… breathtaking. There was no better way to describe it. From the thick woods to the vast meadows, every turn on the hike led to another view that ripped a gasp from me. I couldn’t take it all in even when I tried. My camera was also completely useless. It couldn’t capture the way it felt to hike along the rushing rivers, or how magnificent the mountains sprawling along the horizon line were when you were standing in the middle of a wide-open space.
I pulled out my phone and recorded my daily diary, laughing when I asked Jaxson to tell me something good, and he said that if a bear came, he had a good amount of faith he could outrun me.
When we made it past the first couple of miles, I played music on a speaker hanging from my pack to help ward said bears off. As certain as I was that he’d die trying to save me even with that little joke he’d made, I wasn’t keen for us to have to test that theory.
After a few hours, when we had to cross over a bridge suspended over the river, we stopped for a snack and a little rest.
“Okay,” I said, crossing my legs under me as I handed a stick of beef jerky to Jaxson. “Would you rather…”
“Oh, God, here we go.”
I grinned. “Would you rather be mauled by a bear, or sprayed by a skunk?”
“I’m not sure if that question is morbid or hilarious.”
“Both, now answer it.”
He chuckled, biting off half the jerky stick in one go. “Bear.”
“Bear?” I shook my head. “Explain.”
“Well, you said mauled — not killed. I’d come out of it with a great story and some bad ass scars. Whereas the skunk option would just leave me pissed off and smelly.”
“Fair point,” I said, chewing on his reasoning. “What is it with hockey players and scars, by the way? I swear, you guys get excited when you lose a tooth.”
“It’s a rite of passage.”
“How many have you lost?”
“Only two,” he said. “One from a high stick and one from a fight.”
“A fight?!” I gaped at that. I had seen my brother get in countless fights during the games, but never one so intense anyone lost a tooth.
“It was my first year in the NHL,” Jaxson explained, eating the last of his jerky. “And another asshole rookie thought it was funny to slide into our goalie.” His jaw tensed. “No one fucks with my goalie.”
“Wow,” I said, noting his scowl. “That’s hot. Okay, now ask me one.”
I was sure he’d argue that it was a stupid game and he wasn’t going to play, but he must have been used to my antics, because he sat back on one palm, thinking.
“Would you rather have a third eye or a third nipple?”
“Oh, this is hard!” I tapped my jerky stick against my chin, chewing off a bite as I considered. “Nipple.”
“Nice. I was hoping you’d pick that one.”
“Perv. Okay, here’s one. It’s heavy,” I warned, waiting until I was sure Jaxson was ready. “Would you rather tell your parents you need to set boundaries, or get a call from my brother telling you he found out about us.”
“Parents. Easy.”
I laughed, even as the weight of that answer hit me square in the chest.
He’d rather face something that has torn him up for years than our secret be revealed, which told me everything I needed to know about where we were headed.
Not that I didn’t already know, but a small part of me…
I shook my head, brushing the thought away.
“Your turn,” he said, stuffing the wrapper from his jerky into his pack. “Would you rather have to buy a house and never be able to travel out of that state you’re in, or sit down with your parents and Vince and tell them how you’ve felt living in your brother’s shadow.”
“Like I’d ever subject myself to talking about my feelings,” I answered just as fast.
“But you’d stay put, knowing you couldn’t travel the way you want to?”
I sighed. “Obviously, I hate both options. But, if I had to choose… I guess I’d just need to find a really cool house in a really cool place. California, maybe. That’s like seven states in one.”
Jaxson stood, reaching a hand down to help me up. Once we had our packs strapped on, we continued on the trail.
“Here’s one,” I said. “Would you rather kiss me right now, or spank my ass?”
“Both,” he growled, and then he did just that, slapping my ass and holding it in a handful as he pulled me into him. He swiped my hat off my head for better access, and then he kissed me long and deep.
We’d only passed one other group on the trail so far, and I was thankful we were alone then, that there was no rush as his tongue swept over mine and my body melted into his.
I wished the would you rather game was real, then. I wished someone would ask me if I’d rather go back to my life before Jaxson Brittain, or stay right here in this moment with him forever. I wished the answer became reality, that there was magic in this world.
I knew without a doubt I’d choose option two.
We talked and laughed the rest of the hike, stopping a lot along the way to take photos or just sit and admire how beautiful everything was. We celebrated when we survived fording the river — not once, not twice, but three times — and we marveled at the waterfalls we found along the path, complete with a rainbow I could only dream of.
My body was beginning to protest when we hit the last few miles of the hike, hips and knees and feet aching and begging to stop. But Jaxson distracted me, sharing stories of his time in the league and asking me about college. And before long, we’d made it to our campsite.
Setting up a tent after an all-day hike was definitely not going on my list of favorite things to do, but it was all worth it when we changed into our swimsuits with a couple hours of sunlight left, and just a short, half-mile hike to the hot springs that had brought us all this way.
We followed the trail, Jaxson carrying a container of wine and two reusable mugs with him. I had cheese and meat locked in a bear-proof container. Together, we had the dinner of champions.
I was mid-laugh over a rookie party story Jaxson was telling me when we hit the top of the trail, and there below us was the most breathtaking sight I’d ever seen.
The sun was low, the light golden where it touched the colorful, nature-made hot tub. That same light reflected off the rivers that rushed into the hole from either side, the hot mixing with the cold in a natural phenomenon that felt so precious I was almost afraid to touch it.
We could feel the heat from the various springs around us, and then the breeze would flow down from the icy river. In the distance, trees ran thick and lush along either side, and at the river’s end, the mountains rolled along the horizon.
“Wow,” I breathed, shaking my head at it all before I turned to look up at Jaxson. His eyes were just as wide, his lips parted, chest heaving like he was experiencing the same flood of emotions I was.
“This is unreal,” he whispered.
I didn’t know why tears pricked my eyes, but I didn’t stop to think about it. We’d come all this way, and I damn sure wasn’t going to get up in my feels and ruin the moment.
I grabbed his hand in mine, and together, we ambled down the rocky edge of the spring until we found a place to shed our packs and the clothes we’d put on over our suits. Then, we tested the water with just a toe, making sure it wasn’t too hot.
I waded in first, dragging Jaxson behind me, and the more my body sank into the steamy water, the more alive I felt.
“Oh my God,” I said, speaking quietly as if I didn’t want to disrupt the maker of the bubbles steaming up from the center of the pool. “It feels amazing.”
“Fuck,” Jaxson added on a groan when he was submerged. He released my hand so he could float on his back. “I think my muscles are crying in relief. I’m sore as hell already.”
“Oh, that’s too bad.”
Jaxson frowned, sitting up in the water again. He waded until he found a place he could touch, and I swam over to him, my eyes just above the water.
When I reached him, I threaded my arms around his neck and latched my legs around his hips, kissing a trail along his jaw. “I was just thinking how we have this place all to ourselves, how there probably isn’t anyone else for miles…” I rubbed myself against him, reveling in how quickly he responded to my touch. His cock was already growing hard, his fingertips digging into the flesh at my hips. “How hot it would be to… play here.”
Jaxson groaned when I nibbled on his ear, but before he could pull me in for a kiss, I released him, swimming away on my back.
“But I guess if you’re sore — eeek!”
I hadn’t made it even two feet away before he grabbed me by the ankle and pulled me across the top of the water and back into his arms. He wrapped me up again, one hand snaked around my waist as the other slid into my wet hair and pulled me in for a bruising kiss.
“I’m never too sore to fuck my girl.”
