Jaxson
“TIME TO HIT BOOMERS, BABY!”
Carter slid across the locker room floor Tom Cruise style, wiggling his hips in a way that made me laugh and cringe at the same time. Vince wound up a towel into a tight spiral before snapping it on Carter’s ass.
“Why, so you can sweat any time a bunny tries to dance with you and then go home alone like always?” Vince ducked out of the way when Carter tried to hook him with a punch to the arm after that remark.
“You know what, Tanny Boy? Not even you can get me down. Because we just won our first game of the season, and I,” he said, pointing a thumb to his chest. “Was a star of the game.”
There was a scoff from the other end of the bench, and we all turned to find Aleks Suter shaking his head as he took off his jersey and pads.
He looked like he belonged in prison more than a professional hockey league locker room. His hair was buzz cut short to his head, his lip in a permanent snarl, and he had the body build of someone who fought for a living. He was scrappy and terrifying as hell.
He was also really pissing me off.
The man was new to this team. I didn’t give a rat’s ass if he was bigger and badder than Carter — he hadn’t been on this team as long. And he needed to show some fucking respect before I made him show it.
“Got something to say, Su Man?” I asked, trying to keep my voice level.
Suter hit me with his signature death glare, and then shrugged, stepping right up to Carter’s chest. “Enjoy your star, kid. Because if what you brought tonight was the best you have, you’ll be sent down within the month.”
I jumped up off the bench, ready to make Aleks shut his mouth since he apparently needed help in that department. But Vince landed a palm hard to my chest to stop me.
I didn’t miss how Carter’s face fell a little. And truth be told, Aleks had a point. Carter had a decent game, but we opened with our easiest opponents. He was good on the ice, but if he wanted to stay in the NHL, he needed to be great. He needed to be unbelievable. He needed to up his game.
Still, it wasn’t the fucking new kid’s place to tell him that — not when he hadn’t even been here three months.
“Guess that means you’re not joining us, huh, Suter?” Carter asked, bouncing back just like he always did. Nothing kept him down for long.
Aleks grunted, and Carter chuckled, pointing to Will next. “What about you, Daddy P?”
“No.”
His answer was barely more than a grumble, and judging by the way he was hastily packing his shit, I had a feeling he was still struggling in the nanny department. It made me feel sorry for him. He was just a year older than me. I couldn’t imagine having a kid right now — let alone one who I had to raise on my own.
“Vince?” Carter asked, spinning to point at our winger next.
“You know I would be there, but the family flew in for the game. I’m going to spend some time with them back at the house.”
Carter let his hands fall to his thighs on a groan, stomping like a little kid. “Are you serious? Do you guys not realize the responsibility we have to the puck bunnies of Tampa? We’re going to break hearts tonight — and not in the usual way.” He shook his head, clapping me on the shoulder next. “Looks like it’s just me and you, Brittzy.”
But I was frozen, my brain hung up on the word family like it was a jagged nail sticking out of the wall.
I cracked my neck. “So the whole family is here, huh, Tanev?” I asked, hoping I sounded only mildly interested.
“Yep,” he said, stripping out of the last of his gear. “Poor Maven is going to have to field wedding questions from my mom all weekend. At least Grace is here to be a buffer. She’s always been good at that.”
My heart stopped, excitement and anxiety flooding my bloodstream in equal measure.
Just hearing her name made every nerve ending buzz to life.
Carter asked Vince something about the mentioned wedding, but I was too busy carefully removing my cell phone from where I’d shoved it in my bag well before the game. When I saw a missed text from Grace on the home screen, my heart skipped another beat.
Nova: Got room for a hitchhiker in the passenger seat of that hot little Porsche you drove to the game tonight?
The text was followed by a photo of her in front of the Tampa sign at Sparkman Wharf — and she was dressed for the game, sporting her brother’s jersey in a size that swallowed her.
A million thoughts warred to be the first one through the fog in my head. There were the warnings and the reasons not to respond, the reminder that we’d both started moving on, that this would only reopen a deep cut trying to heal itself.
But I couldn’t hear any of that over the loudest voice of all, which was screaming for me to find the fastest way to get her in my arms.
Me: Where are you?
Nova: Waiting for Vince in the family lounge with Mom and Dad.
Me: Vince said you’re heading back to his place.
Nova: We are, but I’ve been laying the groundwork for having a headache all night. Mom keeps telling me to go to our hotel and get some rest, so as soon as we see Vince, I’ll be free.
My heart pounded like a sledgehammer in my chest.
Me: You’re bad.
Nova: I am. You might have to spank me and teach me a lesson.
I cursed, cock twitching to life in my briefs. I looked around to make sure no one noticed when I adjusted myself before I fired a text back.
Me: You’re going to regret saying that when you can’t sit tomorrow.
Nova: Promises, promises.
I couldn’t help the smile that curled on my lips. My entire body was flooded with energy like it was after every game, but it was tripled now, every nerve on edge as I thumbed out my address, gate code, and door code to her.
She was here.
Grace was here.
All the work I’d done to try to let her go in the last couple of months swirled down the drain in an instant. I didn’t care about what was right and wrong. I didn’t care about our age difference or who her fucking brother was.
The only thing I cared about was getting to her as fast as I could.
I tucked my phone away and schooled my expression, sliding up next to Carter as he made his way toward the showers.
“Hey, man,” I said, keeping my voice low so only he could hear. “I’m going to pass on Boomers tonight.”
“What?!” I thought the grown ass man was about to whine. “Come on, man. We just won our first game of the season! What the hell is wrong with everyone tonight?” Then, something caught in his expression when he saw mine. “Wait… what’s with that face?”
“What face?”
“That one,” he said, pointing right at my nose. “You look like you just found out your dick was made of gold.” He snapped his fingers on a knowing grin. “Oh, shit. You’re seeing someone, aren’t you?”
I looked around to make sure no one had overheard him before I pushed him farther toward the showers. He laughed when I did, rubbing his hands like a greedy sonofabitch.
“Please tell me it’s that actress we partied with in New York last season,” he said when I shoved him into a corner. “I know she’s married to that director, but the way she was hanging all over you that night in SoHo tells me he’s more of a speed bump than a roadblock.”
“I just don’t feel like going out tonight.”
“Sure,” he said, winking conspiratorially and elbowing me in the ribs.
I shoved him off. “Can you be fucking cool?”
“If you tell me who she is.”
I ground my teeth. Carter was like a brother to me, but fuck, I needed him to stop talking so I could take my shower and get home to my girl.
“I can’t,” I said.
His eyes widened. “Oh, shit. It is her, isn’t it? You homewrecking dog.” He shook his head on a click of his tongue. “I feel like I should give you some advice here, like tell you to be good or something. Cheating is wrong, man.” He wagged his finger at me with a mock stern expression, his eyebrows furrowing. But then he tapped his chin on a thought. “Then again, if it’s not technically you who’s doing the cheating…”
“It’s not her,” I gritted. “Look, I’ll tell you one day, alright? But right now, I need you to just nize it.”
He threw his hands up. “Alright, man. Calm down. I’ll let you off the hook for tonight. But you owe me,” he added with a finger to my chest. He watched me with a narrow gaze. “Why do you look so nervous about it?”
I swallowed, the reality that I was going to see her after two months apart eating at my chest. She had texted me. She wanted to see me, too. But in what capacity? Did she want to hang out as friends, shoot the shit, catch up and go our separate ways again?
Her text told me there was at least one part of that friend boundary she wanted to cross.
Did she want to be… fuck buddies?
My stomach tightened again at the realization that I wasn’t going to be able to differentiate. There was no way in hell I could just be a Tampa hookup for her. I was already too far gone.
“Let’s just say I’m playing with fire,” I admitted. “One that’s already burned me to the ground once before.”
Carter whistled through his teeth, then clamped a hand on my shoulder. “Well, here’s hoping you survive. But if you don’t — can I have your cars?”
• • •
I got to my house before she did, and I threw my car into park in the garage before kicking out of it like it was on fire. I didn’t even bother with my bags — just stood in the middle of my driveway with my eyes on the gate.
I knew the Tanevs well enough to know getting away wouldn’t be as easy as she thought. My bet was that her brother and Maven probably begged her to come back to their house. I could hear how Maven would offer a guest room and a whole bottle of Advil if it meant she could have Grace with her.
When ten minutes had passed, I thumbed out a text asking what her ETA was, but there was no response.
Finally, headlights slid over the landscaping in front of the gate. The car pulled to a stop, and I jogged down the drive as Grace climbed out of a taxi.
A fucking taxi?
I hadn’t seen anyone use a taxi in years, but that surprise was with me for only a moment before every thought turned to the fact that Grace was in my driveway.
Her long hair was even lighter where it fell straight over her shoulders, her legs a dark tan like she’d been soaking up the sun every day since I’d last seen her. She was still in Vince’s jersey, and it was bulky and far too big for her. It fell down to her knees, leaving me to assume she had on shorts underneath. I spotted the keychains on her crossbody bag, and a memory of the first time I touched her knocked my next breath from my chest.
That jog turned into a sprint.
The taxi was already pulling away as Grace hastily typed in the gate code, and the metal slid open just enough for me to squeeze through before I had her swept up in my arms.
Her scent enveloped me, arms wrapping around my neck, legs around my waist as I hauled her up and held her tightly to my chest. She smelled like citrus and sunshine just like always, but she also smelled like the Colorado Rockies, like Yellowstone and Banff, like loud music and the open road.
It was everything I loved and missed back within reach as I held her tight. It was the first sip of air that didn’t burn on the way down. It was a quick release on all the pressure mounting in my chest. It was familiar and comfortable and the source of the joy I hadn’t felt since the last time she was in my arms.
Home.
That’s what she was for me.
And I knew, right then, before either of us said a word, that I couldn’t walk away from her a second time.
I didn’t care what it took or who we hurt in the process. For once, I wanted to be selfish. I wanted her to be selfish with me.
All I knew in that moment was that I belonged to Grace — and no one, and nothing, would keep me from making her mine.
“Fuck, Nova,” I said, inhaling her deep. “I’ve missed you so much.”
She pulled back, her eyes glossed even as she forced a smile past the emotion. “I’ve been fucking miserable without you.”
She said it on a laugh, and I laughed with her, but not at what she’d said. I laughed at the stupidity of it all, of the absolute ridiculousness that we both thought what we had was something so trivial as a flash in the pan summer romance. But I also heaved the biggest sigh of relief to hear her say that she’d been feeling the same way, to know she hadn’t already forgotten me the way I thought she had.
I needed her like I needed ice under my skates, and trying to move on from her had proven nothing except the truth I’d always known — which was that I couldn’t.
Not then. Not now. Not ever.
“You?” I said, sweeping her hair from her face. “I’ve been a pathetic fucking mess.”
She laughed again, the sound so sweet it made my chest hurt. Her eyes searched mine, and she shook her head, trailing her fingertips along the stubble on my jaw.
“I tried to stay away from you,” she whispered. “I tried to just move on and live my life without you. But I—”
“Can’t,” I finished for her, and then I couldn’t take it any longer. I tilted her chin and claimed her mouth with my own, kissing her with all the words that had been left unsaid between us. “I know,” I said against her lips. “I can’t either.”
She almost cried at that, wrapping herself around me more and kissing me like I’d disappear if she didn’t hold the connection.
“I’ve cried more in the last two months than in my entire life. Everything I do, I wish you were doing with me. Everywhere I go, I feel empty without you being there, too.”
I swore my body was breaking down with how fast my heart raced, how hard each breath came. Her words soothed me and revved me up at the same time, and my body couldn’t keep up with the emotions flooding through me.
“I know, I know,” I assured her, smoothing a hand through her hair and kissing her again. “Nothing feels right without you. Not this house, not my cars or my books, not even hockey. I feel like I’ve been carrying a hundred-pound weight and walking on the ocean floor. Everything is muted and slow.” I shook my head. “I… I am a fucking simp for you, Grace.”
She barked out a laugh. “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I didn’t know if you’d feel the same, but now that I know you do… God, Jax.” She bit her lip. “What the fuck are we going to do?”
“Right now?” I was already walking us up the drive toward the house. “Many, many filthy things.”
“And after?”
My heart stuttered. “I don’t know,” I confessed. “But… we’ll figure it out. Together.”
She nodded, sliding her hands into my hair. “Together. Oh God, is this real? Please tell me this is real.”
“It’s real, baby,” I promised, kissing her as I unlocked the front door and we tumbled inside. I blindly felt for my security keypad to disarm the system, and then I was pressing Grace into the nearest wall. “I have no fucking idea how we’re going to do this without causing a shit storm,” I admitted. “But I don’t care. I love you, you little weirdo.”
She tilted her head back on the most beautiful laugh at that.
“I do,” I said, kissing her throat. “And I’m so sorry, Grace. I’m so sorry I left you, that I couldn’t see that any consequences are worth it if I get to have you in the end.”
She shook her head. “It wasn’t just you. It was me, too. I didn’t see a way past it. Our lives don’t match up. We don’t make sense.”
“And yet…”
She pressed her forehead against mine. “And yet.”
My eyes closed on a long, relieved exhale. All the nervous energy drained out of me at once, and I basked in the longing and the pure fucking ecstasy it left behind.
“Grace.”
“Yes?”
“Why were you in a fucking taxi?” I shook my head. “You should have told me, I would have sent a car.”
“Well, about that… I planned on taking an Uber, but I might have lost my phone.”
My eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
She bit her lip and groaned. “I’m the worst, I do this shit all the time. I had it in the bathroom with me when I was texting you after the game, and I think I left it on the toilet paper roll dispenser.”
I blinked, and then chuffed a laugh, pinching her side.
“I know, I know!” She let her head fall to my shoulder. “By the time I realized I didn’t have it anymore, Vince, Maven, and my parents had already left for the beach house. I tried to get back into the stadium, but of course, they weren’t letting anyone in. So, I did things the old school way. I used a stranger’s phone and called a taxi.”
“Shit. Do you want to go get it real quick? I can get us in.”
She leveled me with a look, winding her fingers up into my hair and tugging just enough to make my body wake all the way up. “There’s only one thing I want to do right now, and it doesn’t involve my stupid phone. It can wait. It was in the family and friends lounge bathroom, I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. We can get it tomorrow.”
“You sure?” I asked, but my hands were already roaming, palms splaying the curves and lines of her body that I could chart like constellations at this point.
“Take me to your room, Jax,” she breathed against my lips.
“Mmm,” I hummed, kissing her deep before I started walking us through the foyer. “I think a tour is in order first. Let’s start with the kitchen.” I sucked her ear between my teeth before adding. “I’m a little hungry after that game.”
