I volunteered to be the DD. By the time we left the house, everyone was already pretty sloppy from the wine and beer.
We took that kid Tom or Redbird or whatever-his-name-is’s car because it was the biggest. It was practically a Hummer. Jere sat in the passenger seat next to me, and the other guys sat in the back.
Tom reached up between us and turned the radio on. He started to rap with the music, off beat and wrong lyrics. Josh joined him, and Steven opened up the sunroof and stuck his head out.
With a sidelong glance at Jere, I said, “These are your friends?”
He laughed and started rapping too.
The bar was packed. Girls everywhere in high heels and glossy lipstick, with their hair shiny and straight. Right away, Redbird started trying to dance on every girl that walked by. Shot down each and every time.
I went to the bar to get the first round, and Steven followed me. We were waiting to get the bartender’s attention when he clapped his hand on my shoulder and said, “So how are you doing with this whole thing?”
“What? The wedding?”
“Yeah.”
I turned away from him. “It is what it is.”
“Do you think it’s a mistake?”
I didn’t have to answer him, because the bartender finally looked our way. “Five double shots of tequila and a Newcastle,” I said.
Steven said, “You’re not going to take a shot with us?”
“I’ve got to take care of you numskulls, remember?”
We carried the shots back to the table where the other guys were sitting. All five guys pounded them back, and then Redbird got up and started beating his chest and yelling like Tarzan. The guys busted up laughing and started egging him on to go talk to a couple of girls on the dance floor. He and Steven went over to them, and we all sat back and watched. Steven was having better luck than Redbird. He and the red-haired girl started dancing, and Redbird came back to our table, dejected.
“I’ll get us another round,” I said. I figured it was my duty as best man to get them all wasted.
I came back with five more shots of tequila, and since Steven was still out on the dance floor, Jere downed his shot.
I was nursing my beer when I heard that guy Josh say to Jeremiah, “Dude, you’re finally gonna get to close with Belly.”
My head snapped up. Jeremiah had his arm slung around Josh while he sang, “It’s a nice day for a white wedding.”
They hadn’t had sex yet?
Then I heard Josh say, “Yo, you’re, like, a virgin now too. You haven’t gotten any since Lacie in Cabo.”
Cabo? Jeremiah had gone to Cabo this past spring break. When he and Belly were a couple.
Jeremiah started to sing, off-key, “Like a virgin, touched for the very first time.” Then he stood up. “I gotta piss.”
I watched him stumble off to the bathroom, and Josh said, “Fisher’s a lucky bastard. Lacie is smokin’.”
Tom elbowed him and said, loudly, “Shit, remember how they locked us out of the hotel room?” To me, he said, “This is hilarious, man. Hilarious. They locked us out, and they were so into it, they didn’t even hear us knocking. We had to sleep in the friggin’ hallway that night.”
Laughing, Josh said, “That girl was hella loud, too. Oh, Jere-uhhh-mi-uhhh…”
I saw red. Under the tables, I clenched my fists. I wanted to hit something. First I wanted to hit these two guys, and then I wanted to go find my brother and beat the shit out of him.
I jumped up from the table and made my way across the club, shouldering and pushing my way through the crowd until I got to the bathroom.
I banged on the door.
“Somebody’s in here,” Jeremiah slurred from inside. Then I heard him retch into the toilet.
I stood there another few seconds, and then I walked away, past our table and out to the parking lot.
