“You sure you don’t want me to wait downstairs while you talk to Damiano?” Gemma asks. The two of us are sitting on the broken bed. She’s holding a cup of tea in her hands, still bundled up in my jacket from when we went outside. She woke up insisting she needed tea and reached for Orrin’s coat, but I pulled it out of her grip and gave her my own. The only man’s clothes she’s wearing from now on are mine.
I liked the sight of her in them so much I barely even felt the cold when we stepped outside. Ever since she came to me last night, there’s been a bonfire inside my chest keeping me warm.
I smile at her. “No, Peaches. I want you here.”
She leans in and presses a kiss to my cheek. “It’ll be okay. You’ll see.”
She’s more optimistic than I am. Damiano’s always been careful about who he lets into his circle, and he doesn’t trust easily. It took us practically growing up together for him to trust me. He knows as well as I do that he saved my ass by bringing me onboard when he moved to Ibiza. He’s given me a lot over the years.
Friendship. Respect. An opportunity to make more money than I’ll ever need.
And after all of that, I refused a direct order.
In some ways, the Camorra is like the army. Disobeying your don’s order is the end of your career. You’re automatically discharged, and that’s just the start of your problems.
In most cases, you end up dead.
But Dem hasn’t tried to kill me. He hasn’t even told anyone what I did, at least as far as Gemma and I can tell.
Maybe there is still hope. Can our long friendship matter more than the rules of the game we’ve been playing our entire lives?
I give Gemma a peck and pick up my phone.
There’s no way to find out other than to face the situation head-on.
I pull up the number I’ve looked at a dozen times over the last few days, but this time, instead of just looking at it, I press call.
The phone rings.
Maybe I should have practiced what I’m about to say, but I don’t want to sound rehearsed. Fuck, I can’t remember if I’ve ever been so nervous to talk to Dem.
The stakes are high. I have to make him understand why I did what I did.
The line connects. “Ras.”
I’m not sure if I’m reading too far into it, but I think there’s a hint of relief in his voice.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
He clears his throat. “I presume Gemma is with you? She called Vale last night looking for you.”
I glance in her direction. “She’s here.”
“Good. Vale will be relieved to hear it. I heard the engagement with Rafaele is off.”
“It is. He’s marrying Cleo instead of Gemma.”
There’s a wry laugh. “Fucking unbelievable.”
I drag my hand over my lips and blow out a breath. “Look, we have a lot to talk about.”
Gemma swipes a reassuring hand over my back.
“Yeah, you could say that.” A coldness slips into Dem’s tone. “I gave you a direct order, which you disobeyed, and then you disappeared off the face of the earth with my wife’s sister. You’re lucky I’ve had time to cool down. What the fuck were you thinking, Ras?”
“Dem, I did what I had to. If I’d left her here, I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself. I…” I let out a long breath. “I love her. I want to be with her.”
Silence.
“If it were Vale, and you were in love with her and she was engaged to another man, someone she didn’t love, you’d do the same thing,” I add. “You fucking know you would.”
Dem huffs. “Do you remember how much shit you gave me when you thought my feelings for Vale were affecting my decisions? Now look at you.”
“I know. I didn’t get it then. I get it now.”
“You’re the only person I’ve ever trusted unconditionally,” Dem says.
He’s trying to mask it, but I hear the hurt in his tone. I look up at the ceiling. “I wish it hadn’t come down to me going against your orders, but the situation was chaotic, and I had no time to think through the alternatives.”
“Damn right you didn’t think,” he snaps. “You’re so fucking stubborn. And you don’t know how to ask for fucking help. That’s always been your problem, even back when you were a kid. If you’d come to me and explained what the fuck was going on with you and Gemma, we could have come up with a plan in a day or two.”
I shake my head. “You know that’s bullshit. You were mad when you realized I’d gotten involved with her. You told me I should have known better.”
There’s a pause. “I may have been a bit frustrated with you.”
“You kept insisting that I come back. I couldn’t leave her when she was in the state she was in.”
“All right, and after you left? Why didn’t you call me?”
“Because I wasn’t sure if you’d already sent someone for my head. I didn’t want to make it easy for you to track me down and kill me.”
“Seriously?” He sounds outraged. “Did you really think I’d do that to you? For fuck’s sake. You’re my closest friend, not to mention Vale would have had my head.”
Relief fans through me. Thank fuck. We’re getting somewhere. “I didn’t know how you’d react to what I did. We’ve always been a team. Always working in sync. This was the first time we didn’t. I crossed a line I’ve never crossed before, and I didn’t know what would be on the other side of it.”
There’s a long pause. “Cazzo. All right, I’ll admit I didn’t leave a lot of room for discussion when you called. I didn’t realize how far you’d fallen for Gemma. I thought you were just having fun with her, causing shit like always.”
“I get it.” That’s what I’d always done before I met her.
“Every woman you’ve ever been with after Sara was nothing more than a fling.”
“Gemma’s not a fling.”
“I gathered that much after you chose her over your don.”
I rake my fingers through my hair. “It wasn’t an easy choice. Since I left, I’ve had time to reflect and…” I try to put my thoughts into words that’ll make sense. The reason why I never got seriously involved with anyone after Sara was because I stopped believing in love. I didn’t think it was something meant for me. I couldn’t put myself out there after having my heart ripped out. I couldn’t be vulnerable again. But I couldn’t resist it with Gemma. I knew all the possible consequences, but with her, I wanted to try anyway.
I sigh. “We’ve worked together for a decade, Dem. A long fucking time. And I did everything I could to help you get the things you wanted. Working for you, helping you build your empire and knocking down Sal gave me purpose. But the truth is, I never really considered what I wanted out of life. I was on autopilot. And when I met Gemma…” I look at her. She’s hanging on my every word, her eyes wide. “Well, she’s the first thing I’ve truly wanted in a long fucking time. And when I realized it, I knew I’d do anything to have her. Even if that meant failing you for the first time. I’m sorry, but I had to do it.”
She wraps her arms around me and presses a kiss to my shoulder.
Damiano clears his throat. “Look, I never wanted it to be a choice between me or her. It doesn’t have to be that way. I…” He blows out a breath. “Perhaps it wasn’t fair of me to push you as hard as I did to come back here.”
A knot inside my chest loosens.
I lean back against the broken headboard. “I should have called you earlier. I didn’t know what to say until now, I guess. And when Gemma left me, I just wasn’t thinking straight.”
“You went back to New York to keep an eye on her?”
“Yeah. I’d never felt worse, but I think some part of me still hoped a miracle would happen.”
“Sounds like it did. Vale’s proud of Gemma for doing what was right for her.”
“Me too. She’s a warrior.” I catch Gemma’s eye, and she smiles at me. “There’s something else you should know.”
“What is it?” Dem asks.
I lie down, propping my head against Gemma’s knee, and put the phone on speaker.
“Gemma’s pregnant.”
There’s a prolonged pause. “Hold on.” A beat passes, during which I’m certain he’s turning on his own speaker. “Can you say that again?”
“Gemma’s pregnant,” I repeat.
There’s a loud yelp on the other end of the line.
“Oh my God!” Now, it’s Vale on the phone. “You’re what?!”
Gemma and I grin at each other. “You heard it right,” Gemma says. “I found out yesterday.”
Vale starts yelping and offering her congratulations, and I just watch Gemma as she talks to her sister excitedly.
My chest swells. Seeing the happiness in her eyes is everything.
I let my arm fall off the bed and curl my palm around her delicate ankle. I wish I’d been there when she realized she’s carrying our child. She must have been so scared during a moment that should have been filled with joy.
She’ll never be in that position again.
And the next time she finds out she’s pregnant—there’s no way we’re stopping at one—I’ll be right by her side.
Dem’s voice comes back on the line. “You can’t stay in New York for long. We don’t want to risk having Garzolo come after you. You should leave as soon as possible.”
“What are you going to do about him and your deal?” I ask Dem.
“It’s off. There’s no fucking way we’re working with him after what he did to Gemma. Vale said he’s as good as dead to us.”
Damn right he is. I’m still very much intent on putting him six feet under myself when things calm down here.
Dem keeps going, “But since Cleo is now marrying Rafaele, we want to maintain a relationship there. Maybe we renegotiate the deal directly with him and cut Garzolo out. If Rafaele guarantees Garzolo won’t see a penny from it, there might be a path forward. It’s going to be a mess to navigate.” He lets out a heavy breath. “Too bad my underboss quit at the worst possible time.”
My lips twitch. “What, you’re saying you’d want that bastard back?”
“I had an open casting a few days ago for a replacement. No one showed up.”
I snort. “An open casting… Just say you miss me, stronzo.”
“You going to give me shit again?”
I sit up and prop my elbows on my knees. “I’ll make it right, Dem. As long as you don’t try to keep me away from my woman, I’ll make all of this shit right.”
“Your woman… Vale, he’s calling Gemma’s ‘his woman’.” There’s a distant laugh on the other line, and Vale asks something I can’t quite make out. “She’s asking when’s the wedding,” Dem says.
Gemma turns bright red. I grin. It would be tomorrow if it were up to me, but something tells me Gemma might need a break from wedding talk for a little while.
Plus, I want her to have the best pregnancy possible, and I want time to show her just how fucking special she is. Her parents did a number on her. If I need to spend years showing her just how wrong they were to ever make her feel less than enough, I’ll do it.
“Not sure, but you’ll be the first to know,” I tell Dem.
“I’ll send a plane to get you out of there tomorrow.”
“Sounds like a plan. Thanks, Dem.”
“I’m happy for you.”
A smile tugs at my lips. “I know.”
I hang up.
Gemma arches a brow at me. “So, you got your job back?”
I grin at her. “Gainfully employed once again. Dem wants us back in Italy. How do you feel about that?”
She smiles back. “That’s where you belong. And I belong wherever you are.”
I cup her cheek. I love this woman so much. “Damn right, Peaches.”
She leans into my touch and closes her eyes.
“You excited?” I whisper.
“More than words can describe.”
That afternoon, we pack up our few belongings, hop into a car Orrin lets me borrow, and drive to a hotel. On our way over, Dem messages to confirm the plane is picking us up tomorrow morning.
Soon, we’ll be heading to Italy, and I can’t fucking wait.
“You know, I wouldn’t have minded staying in the studio one more night,” Gemma says, taking a sip of her tea. She seems to be on a tea kick. I wonder if it’s the pregnancy hormones, and what else they’ll make her crave. Hopefully, it’s not some miserable American food, although if I have to, I’ll send a damn plane here every week to get her whatever she needs.
“The place was awful, Peaches. And I spent some long, depressing days there. I’d much rather check you into the presidential suite and have you beneath me on one thousand thread count sheets.” I want to spoil this girl in every fucking way. I don’t think she realizes it yet. “Let’s go somewhere nice for breakfast afterwards.”
We end up making use of the presidential suite for about two hours before we remember the food, but Gemma doesn’t seem to mind the delay after I make her come three times. Her cheeks are rosy, and her lips a bit swollen when we step back outside.
She gasps. “It’s warm out!”
Warm is a bit of a stretch, but at least I’m not rushing to zip up my jacket as soon as the air hits my body. I look up. There aren’t any clouds in the sky for what must be the first fucking time since I got here.
I lean down and press a kiss to her cheek. She looks so happy. I take out my phone and snap a photo of her.
She notices. “What’s that for?”
“Need a new background picture for my phone.”
Gemma grins. “God, you’re such a sap. Who are you, and what happened to the mean Camorrista?”
“Mean?” I grumble. “I was never mean to you,” I say as I give her ass a firm smack.
She yelps. “Forgetful too.” She slides her hand into mine and squeezes.
I brush her hair out of her face, my chest swelling with a love so strong that I know I’ll do anything for this woman. “Let’s leave the past in the past,” I tell her. “We’ve got a whole future to look forward to.”
She smiles at me like she likes that idea as much as I do.
