how to roll the cookie dough, I steal a glance at Gabriel. He’s looking thoughtfully at Sienna and me, and I wonder what he’s thinking.
He’s in such a good mood today, though. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him smile this much, and I want to believe I have something to do with it, but the thought seems kind of ludicrous. When have I ever made someone that happy? My own parents don’t even get that much joy from my presence.
“How am I doing?” Sienna interrupts my thoughts.
I look down at a huge hodgepodge of shapes and sizes.
“Oh, wow! Look at you. Good job, honey!” I tell her with enthusiasm.
“What do you think, Daddy?” She looks up at Gabe.
He gives her a pat on the head. “They look pretty awesome. I can’t wait to taste them.”
We both look at each other and smile, knowing the cookies look like a disaster. They are going to cook completely unevenly with all the different sizes on the tray. But that isn’t what matters. We’re baking them for fun, not for perfection.
“I’m gonna get started on dinner,” Gabe tells me as he moves towards the fridge.
Great, I get to spend the next half hour watching him roam about the kitchen. It’s like porn for women. He likes to roll up his sleeves, exposing the muscles and veins in his forearms. Not to mention the fact that his ass in work pants is divine.
Over the next hour, I try to keep my head down while Sienna and I finish the cookies and then clean up our mess. I manage to stay pretty distracted, minus the stolen glances and touches. Gabriel seems to keep finding reasons to rest his hand on my lower back.
Whether it was to peek over my shoulder and take a look at the finished cookies or to get something from the drawer I was in front of.
It’s massively distracting and making me feel really hot. I’m going to need a shower tonight to cool me off.
After dinner, Gabe takes Sienna upstairs for her bath and bedtime routine. I do what I can to clean the kitchen, then decide to head up to my room to read for a bit. Dinner has me feeling all sorts of weird emotions. Between Sienna gushing over our time together, Gabe’s sexy looks, and the laughter we all shared, I’m starting to feel like my heart is in jeopardy.
I’m leaving in two and a half weeks. What is going to happen when my time is up? Am I just going to leave these two behind and never see them again? I still need to start thinking about where I want to settle down and find a job.
I open my book and try to get lost in the pages of someone else’s reality. It only helps for a minute, and then my brain is back to thoughts of Gabriel.
I reach for my phone to call the one person I know will be able to talk some sense into me.
‘You’ve been dodging my calls. Something is going on,’ Alicia answers.
I roll my eyes. She is too perceptive; I can never get anything by her.
“How could you possibly know that?” I ask.
“Because you always go quiet when you have something to say but don’t know how to say it.”
Damn, I know I do that. I just wasn’t aware it was that obvious.
“So, what’s going on? You still trying to deny the hotness of your boss? Is it driving you mad?” She laughs at her own jab.
I sigh into the phone. “There’s no denying anything between him and me anymore.”
I swear I can hear her fumbling with things in the background, completely caught off guard by my admission.
“What the hell does that mean? Did something happen between you two? Oh my god! Did you guys have sex?”
“Yes! I’m so screwed… I went and had life-changing, earth-shattering sex with him, and now I’m starting to feel things.”
“Like love kind of feelings? Are you falling in love with him, Alex?” Her voice raises in question.
I roll over to my side and groan into the phone as I bring the blanket up to my face. “I don’t know. This is all so new for me. I’ve only ever really dated one guy, and you know that didn’t end well. I mean, if it’s not love now…I can see it getting there quickly. Am I an idiot for sleeping with him?”
“Fuck no! You’re human. I would’ve done the same thing. Has he told you how he feels?”
“Yeah, right. He just stopped being a dick to me a couple days ago. He doesn’t talk much about his feelings, if ever. Plus, I’m his nanny. I’m probably just another notch in the belt for him. A funny story to tell his friends when they’re out for drinks.”
Oh, God. I would die if that’s all this is to him.
“Oh, come on, Alex! Give the guy more credit than that. If he was that big of a dick, I don’t think you would find him so attractive. You’re not like that. You don’t like guys strictly based on their appearance. I know this! I’ve lived with you for three years now.”
“What am I supposed to do? My job is over in a couple weeks. Should I look for a job here in Cleveland to stay near them? Do you think that would sound desperate if I told him that I wanted to do that?”
The line is silent for a minute. I think I’ve lost connection with her when I hear her sigh.
“Honestly, I don’t know if I would recommend taking a job in a city for a guy you’ve been with for a couple days. You need to think about yourself right now. I’ve watched you take a backseat to everybody else’s life and happiness for years with your family. I don’t want to see you do it again. If this guy isn’t confessing his love openly and begging you to stay with him, I wouldn’t plan my life around him. You deserve the world. Don’t settle for anything less.”
“I don’t know what it’s like to put myself first like that. You know I struggle with it,” I whisper as I try to hold back tears.
“I know you do, but you need to learn how. The more you do it, the more you will start to believe that you’re actually worth it. You have to do one before the other will come.”
I blink quickly to try to fight off the tears. I don’t want to cry right now. I’ve wasted too many tears in my life feeling sorry for myself.
“Thanks, Alicia. You know how much I love you, right?” I ask her.
“I know, girl. I love you too,” she replies. “I have to ask, earth-shattering sex? I need more details on that ASAP!”
I laugh. I guess I brought that on myself. You can’t admit that to her and not expect her to request more details.
“Yes, earth-shattering. It was just sooo…I don’t know. There are really no words to describe it. It’s like he knew exactly what to do to get me there. And he is so into it. Like…he seems to really enjoy getting me off in any way possible. It’s like for the first time, I can just relax and enjoy it.”
“Damn, girl. Good for you.”
I smile. “Yeah. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. And I like pleasing him, it makes the experience even better for me.”
She whistles. “Okay, well, here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to fuck like horny little teenagers for the next couple weeks and just enjoy the time together. Then you are going to say goodbye and come live with me while you figure out your next move.’
Just hearing those words eases the anxiety I’ve been as feeling. I had a lot of panic attacks my freshman year of college, and Alicia was always there to help me through them.
I think I’ve been avoiding job searching because the thought is overwhelming, and the familiar panic starts to rise whenever I think about it.
“Thanks for the offer. I might have to take you up on that. I hope you won’t mind if I’m a ball of emotions with a broken heart in a couple weeks.”
“Not at all. We’ll just eat sweets and drink wine. The cure for heartache.”
I laugh. “I like the sound of that.”
“But seriously, just enjoy the next two weeks. You’ve got someone worshipping your body and making you feel good. We’ll figure things out together after.”
I take a deep breath, knowing I can do this. She’s right, I do deserve to enjoy this time. She doesn’t even know the extent of my sex deprivation.
‘Thanks. I love you,’ I tell her.
‘Love you too, girl.’
As soon as we hang up, I decide to jump in the shower. After I discard my clothes, I put my arm into the stream to make sure it’s warm enough. As soon as I step in, I close my eyes and let the heat relax the tension built up in my body. I’m not sure how long I stand under the water with my eyes closed, letting my brain float off to another world, but it’s long enough to miss the sounds of my bathroom door opening.
It’s not until the shower door opens that I jump and open my eyes.
Gabriel is stepping into my shower with nothing on his body. I’m speechless as I watch him walk towards me. My eyes follow his every move until I have to tilt my head up to keep my eyes on his.
‘What are you doing here?’ I whisper.
He wraps his hand around my waist and pulls me into his arms.
‘I’ve been waiting downstairs for you. You never came,’ he says with a hint of anger.
‘I didn’t want to just assume that you wanted me down there,’ I admit.
His hand travels down to my ass and squeezes a cheek. I can feel his dick hard against my stomach, and my body clenches in anticipation. I want to feel him slide inside of me again.
‘From now on, always assume I want you down there with me. I want you whenever I can have you,’ he says.
My heart skips a beat at his words. Just remember this is for fun, I remind myself.
‘You want to know what I can’t get out of my fucking head?’ he asks, and I angle my head in question. ‘You calling me sir while wearing my sweatshirt. It made me want to grab you and own your mouth. Make you work my dick until I shoot into your mouth.’
His words are so dirty and dominating, not to mention borderline offensive, but they make me feel excited. I like that he has such wild thoughts about me. I reach for his hand and kiss his palm. He moves it to my cheek and rubs up and down. We both lean in for a kiss. It’s slow and unhurried as our tongues take their time moving with each other.
I pull back to look at him and move his hand to the back of my head. When he doesn’t understand what I’m trying to say, I know I have to use my words which is kind of scary. I’m not used to being this brave.
‘Grab my hair,’ I tell him.
He looks at me with a bit of confusion.
‘Grab my hair and make me work your dick,’ I continue.
His eyes grow wide when he realizes what I’m telling him to do. I feel his fingers squeeze around my hair like his control is about to snap.
‘Alexis, I didn’t mean it literally. You’re so inexperienced, and I… I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.’
‘I am inexperienced, but I want to experience this with you. I want to feel what it’s like when you completely give in to your desires. This is for me too, seeing you like this…’ I explain.
His fingers grip my hair tighter, and my jaw falls slightly at the pain, but it only spurs me on more. It shows me that this is exactly what I want.
‘Fuck, Alexis. I’m not gonna be able to hold back when you talk like that,’ he growls. ‘My dick is so hard for you it hurts.’
‘Don’t hold back. I want it all. Right now. Please,’ I whisper as my body leans in slightly until it’s right in front of his dick.
His other hand grabs more hair, and he pulls back, my head following as it exposes my mouth to him. He moves until his tip is lined up with my face. With the circle of his hips, his precum starts to paint my lips.
‘Fuck. You’re going to be the death of me, Alexis. Look at your mouth covered in my cum. Lick your lips, I want you to taste me.’
I do as he says and slowly drag my tongue in a circle around my lips, making sure to get every last drop. It tastes salty and bitter, masculine, just like Gabriel.
‘Good girl,’ he tells me. ‘Now open your mouth for me, baby.’
I do as I’m told, pride filling me at being called a good girl. When he pushes his hips forward, the first couple inches of him enter my mouth. I roll my tongue around the bottom of his dick before I wrap my lips around his length.
His hands fist my hair again while he starts to move his hips back and forth. He goes slow at first as he allows me some time to adjust. When he thinks I’m ready, he starts to fuck my mouth. I mean, really fuck my mouth. Tears start to spill over my eyelids as he relentlessly moves.
‘There you go, babe. Your mouth feels like heaven. Fuck! Wrap those lips tighter around my cock,’ he demands.
I follow his instructions and strain my lips while keeping my tongue out for his dick to glide over.
‘Shit… just like that, baby. Oh, god!’
His head falls back in ecstasy. The arousal between my legs becomes uncomfortable, and I reach down to run circles over my clit, eliciting a moan.
He brings his head back down, and when his eyes catch my hand on myself, they turn even darker.
Without any warning, he rips me off his dick and brings me to a standing position. I’m breathing hard and fast as I try to catch my breath. Both of us stand together as we gasp for air in the thick steam.
‘Why did you make me stop?’ I question.
‘I can’t fucking watch you so desperate to come that you start touching yourself. It’s my job to make you feel good. Change of plans, I’m going to fuck you from behind in this shower. Please tell me you’re on birth control,’ he begs.
I nod my head up and down.
‘Can I fuck you like this? I’m clean.’
‘Yes,’ I rasp.
He slams his lips on mine, then pulls away.
‘Put your hands on the wall behind you,’ he instructs.
I do as I’m told and look over my shoulder and see him staring down at my behind.
‘Shit. You have the best ass,’ he says as he grabs each cheek with a hard grip and spreads them. ‘One of these days, I’m going to show you the pleasures that come with this.’
He grazes his thumb over my opening which makes me squirm. I wouldn’t think that would ever turn me on, the thought of being touched there, but when Gabriel does it, my body reacts.
He wraps his hand around his dick and lines himself up before pushing in. The force of it throws me forward, and I have to lock my arms to keep myself from slamming into the wall. It takes me a minute to adjust to his size.
‘Holy. Shit. Your pussy feels amazing like this,’ he says, and I feel his forehead hit my back.
When he can feel my body relax and adjust to him, he starts to pump in and out. His hand comes back to grab my hair and gives it a tug.
I let out a loud moan, knowing we can make noise while in the shower.
‘Fuck, you like being dominated, don’t you? We’re going to explore that more, baby,’ he tells me.
I don’t know what it is about his control that turns me on so much. I think part of it is knowing that I don’t have to think about what I need to do next or if he likes what I’m doing. I just do what I’m told, and he uses his words to tell me how much he loves it.
The sound of our bodies together in the water echoes throughout the bathroom.
‘Oh, god… Gabriel!’ I cry out.
I know how much he loves me saying his full name. This time is no exception as it draws out a growl from his throat.
‘Fucking take it. I feel that pussy squeezing me,’ he remarks.
His words make my body clench, bringing me closer to orgasm.
This time when he pulls out, he stops for a minute, then slowly enters back in with a quick thrust at the end. He reaches around my waist and starts rubbing circles around my clit.
‘This is mine to play with. You ever feel the need to come, you tell me. You got it?’ he asks.
I nod my head, unable to formulate words. He continues the circles and the slower thrusts. That’s all it takes for me to come apart at his touch. My body convulses as the strongest orgasm I’ve ever felt rips through me. At the height of its spiral, he picks up his pace again as he chases his own release.
He’s all cuss words and dirty remarks as he pumps his own release inside of me.
He pulls out and kneels down behind me. I’m not sure what he is doing until I feel his thumbs part my lips.
‘Squeeze for me. I want to see my cum drop of out of your pussy,’ he says.
HOLY SHIT.
