do today?’ I ask Sienna as I start to clean the dishes from our pancake escapade this morning. I may have fed off her energy and excitement a little too much and made three different kinds of pancakes.
In just two days, I’ve already learned that she’s really good at claiming she’s ‘done it a thousand times‘ while continuing to prove otherwise. Like cracking an egg or pouring milk.
‘We can go to the park. Grandma used to take me to the park all the time. Oh, we could get gelato after!’ she eagerly says.
‘Did you just say gelato?’ I question, looking down at her curiously.
Her eyes light up as she nods her head enthusiastically. What four-year-old asks for gelato over ice cream?
‘Grandma gets a cannoli, Papa gets a coconut bar, and I get gelato,’ she says, counting as she holds a finger up for each order.
I chuckle at her knowledge of Italian desserts. ‘Where is it that you get all of this food?’
‘Little Italy!’ she exclaims. ‘It’s where Grandma and Papa live.’
Now I’m confused. Is there an actual place here called Little Italy, or just some imaginary name Sienna has given this bakery? If there is such a place, I need to go. How can I live two hours away from here and not know of such a place? Growing up with Italian grandparents, I’ve been introduced to all the food and the culture. It’s a part of who I am. A part I love to explore. Going to Italy one day would be a dream come true.
I get my phone out and Google Little Italy. Much to my surprise, there is a neighborhood only ten minutes from us that, sure enough, is called Little Italy.
‘If I drove us there, would you be able to show me where the playground is?’ I ask her.
‘Of course. I only go there all the time,’ she sasses.
I eye her, letting her know I’m not impressed, and she starts to giggle.
‘Okay, little Miss. Smarty Pants. Let’s hit the road. I could use a little gelato in my life.’
Once I get her buckled in the car seat that Gabriel installed for me, I type in the name of a bakery in Little Italy, hoping that Sienna will pull through on her word to show me the playground.
I focus on following directions while Sienna looks out the window. We drive down a large hill until we arrive at Corbo’s bakery on my left. I make a mental note to stop there after we play at the park.
‘Okay, girl. Is the park near us?’ I ask.
She points in front of us. ‘It’s right there, silly. Right across from Grandma and Papa’s church.’
‘Ah, there it is. Wow, you do know where it is. Well, this worked out. Now…where do we park?’ I say to myself.
‘My daddy turns down this road here. He parks on the street,’ Sienna chimes in.
I’m kind of amazed at this little one. She is so in tune with her surroundings and so articulate. I glance in the rearview mirror and see her looking curiously at the people outside. I guess that’s what it’s like to be an only child. You don’t have someone to constantly bicker with and distract you. She reminds me of myself at her age. I had an inquisitive mind as well.
When I turn down the street, Murray Hill, I’m met with a cobblestone road, and it only adds to the charm of the neighborhood. I find parking pretty easily on the street, thankful college forced me to perfect my parallel parking skills. I’m in between two cars within seconds.
Sienna and I walk hand in hand down the sidewalk as I take in the businesses around me. I see a gift shop called La Bella Vita. A simple glance through the storefront windows and I know that I’m going in there another time for dinnerware from Italy.
There are restaurants on the street corner, and I spot an art gallery across the street.
‘This way.’ Sienna grabs my hand as we cross the street and head toward the park.
Once we get there, I notice the ground is in the color of the Italian flag: green, white, and red.
‘This place is super cute,’ I tell Sienna.
She smiles. ‘We could go visit my Grandma and Papa after this.’
‘I don’t know where they live, and I don’t know their phone numbers. Maybe some other time. I can talk to your dad about it.’ She seems content with my response as she shrugs and runs over to the swings.
‘Come push me!’ she screams as she gets herself situated on one.
When I’m standing behind her, I start to give her a good push as she tries to help by swinging her legs. She doesn’t quite have the motion timed out right, but it’s a nice effort.
‘If you’re four, does that mean you start kindergarten next year?’ I ask her as I see a school bus drive by.
‘Yes! I’m super-duper excited to start school. Daddy is sad, though. He says I’m not allowed to grow up, but I told him I have to so I can take care of him when he gets old.’
Like I said, wise beyond her years.
‘I don’t think your daddy actually means he doesn’t want you to grow up. It’s just an expression. But that’s sweet that you want to take care of him.’
‘Yeah. We take care of each other. Since I don’t have a mommy, and he doesn’t have a wife. My mom left when I was little.’
My heart stills at the mention of her mother. I’ve been wondering, but obviously never wanted to ask Gabriel. He doesn’t exactly give off the go ahead ask me some personal questions kinda vibe. But now that the topic has arisen, I’m kicking myself for not asking.
What am I supposed to say to that?
‘Well, your mom missed out on a pretty amazing girl if you ask me,’ I finally say.
She looks over her shoulder with a smile. ‘Really?’
I poke her nose. ‘Really. I’ve only known you for two days, and you’re already my favorite person.’
I think I see a look of relief on her face like she was wondering if it was her fault, and my heart breaks. What kind of mother would leave a little sweetheart behind? How selfish of a person must she be?
Once Sienna gets bored of the swings and we are done talking about subjects out of my comfort zone, I chase her around the playground and then watch her go down the slides a dozen times.
It feels like we’ve both worked up quite a sweat by the end of it.
‘Alright. I think I’m in desperate need of some sweets. What do ya say?’ I extend my hand out.
She grabs it, and we both start to skip our way out of the park. As we make our way back to the bakery I saw on the way, I observe the green wood trim on the front and the red door. It looks super cute and feels very Italian.
Upon entering, my senses are hit with so many different flavors that saliva pools in my mouth. Yeah, there’s no way I’m walking out of here with just gelato.
We walk to the back of the long bakery, lined with window cases full of pastries, until we get to the gelato.
‘Do you know what you want?’ I ask Sienna as my eyes roam the selection.
‘I want chocolate.’ She claps her hands together. ‘In a waffle cone.’
‘Mmmm…that sounds yummy. I think I’m gonna get the mint chip.’
I place the order and walk down the aisle with my tongue practically hanging out of my mouth. I tell the employee that I’ll need a large box, and then I continue to rattle off different cookies, tiramisu, lobster tail, crème puffs, and this chocolate coconut bar that I’ve never seen before. I spot a fridge that holds cannoli filling with a sign that says, ‘Leave the gun, take the cannoli,’ and I burst into laughter at the Godfather quote.
The sign alone does me in, and you know you’re in the right spot when they are freshly filled, never pre-filled. Of course, I ask them to add several cannolis to my box.
By the time we’re done, I’m juggling my gelato and a heavy box filled with temptation. We finish our gelato as we walk back to the car, and it’s a good thing I grabbed some napkins on the way out because Sienna has chocolate gelato all over her.
It’s worth it, though, because we had such a great morning. Well, I did, at least. Sienna is such an easy kid to be around, with no commotion or stress involved.
The rest of the day flies by as we color, practice her letters, and top it off with a couple episodes of her favorite show. She surprises me by snuggling into my chest while we watch TV. It makes my heart ache at the thought of her not being able to do this with her own mother.
My thoughts go back to our conversation today. I wonder why she left. Is there something darker about Gabriel that I don’t know about? No, that can’t be it. I see the way he looks at his daughter, and there’s no way he did something evil like lay his hands on his ex.
I rest my head on top of Sienna’s as my eyes start to feel heavy.
‘Alexis.’ I hear a faint voice calling my name.
When I open my eyes, Gabriel is standing in front of me with his hands in his pockets. I look around, feeling dazed until I realize Sienna and I both fell asleep on the couch together.
‘I’m sorry.’ I feel embarrassed getting caught napping on the job. ‘We had a busy day today. I must have dozed off during the show.’
I start to stand up, disrupting Sienna from her sleep. Her eyes flutter open, and unlike me, her energy is back in spades.
‘Daddy!’ She jumps off the couch and into his arms.
‘Hi, sweetie!’ He wraps his arms around her. ‘Did you have a fun day today?’
‘It was awesome! We went to the park, and we got gelato. We colored, and Alex helped with my letters. She even snuggled with me!’
‘Wow! That sounds like you had quite a day. How about you go get cleaned up for dinner?’
Sienna rushes to her bathroom so that she can get ready. I head into the kitchen to get something to drink, and as I pull out a bottle of water, I notice Gabriel has followed me.
‘So, I take it Sienna convinced you to get her some gelato today?’ he asks as he leans against the counter, arms crossed.
I hope I’m not in trouble. We never talked about the rules around sugar, and I know some parents are very strict about those things. But when I look over at him, I notice his shirt is unbuttoned at the top, revealing a scattering of chest hair.
Even his chest hair is beautiful. Nothing too much, just a subtle amount. The way he fills out his clothing is downright sexy. My brain short circuits until I remember he asked me a question.
‘Um, yeah. I hope that’s alright.’
He shrugs. ‘I don’t mind. I’m guessing that you went to Corbo’s by the giant box of treats behind you.’
‘Oh,’ I chuckle. ‘I got a little carried away. That place is so cute, and all the restaurants there look amazing. I need to try some of them sometime.’
I see a small smile break free on his face. ‘That’s where I grew up. My parents still live over there; just a short walk down to the strip.’
‘Sienna mentioned something about that. It must have been so nice growing up next to all those restaurants and bakeries. I would have weighed a thousand pounds.’
‘I somehow doubt that,’ he says as he bites his lip.
His eyes roam over me in a way that makes every nerve in my body come alive. I can feel the appreciation in his gaze. What would it feel like to be on the receiving end of this man’s touch? I know what would probably happen. I would start to freak out, mind racing as it recalled my first and only boyfriend. The words he’d said to me. The way he made me feel so damaged and unattractive.
Then, Gabe’s eyes land directly on my chest, and my body overrules the unpleasant memory while my body reacts again. My breaths begin to feel labored, and I can tell that he notices. His eyebrows turn up, though, like he’s angry at what he sees.
Maybe he shouldn’t eye fuck me if he doesn’t want my body to respond like this.
I’m not in the mood to hear what condescending thing he will say to me, so I opt to change the subject.
‘There’s a lasagna in the fridge. I made it during breakfast this morning. It just needs to go in the oven to warm up.’
He snaps out of his trance.
‘Thanks. Are you actually going to eat it this time?’ he asks indignantly.
Still groggy from my nap, I’m so not in the mood for his hot and cold game right now. I place my hands on my hips.
‘Was that an invitation to dinner? If it was, it needs a little work.’
I turn around and head for the kitchen, where I open the box of pastries. I need sugar to calm my anger and lots of it.
One of the cannolis is calling my name right now. I already let the poor things sit for too long in their shells. Not realizing Gabe is still standing behind me, I bring the cannoli to me as I eye fuck the shit out of it.
Who needs men when you can have a cannoli?
The long, slender pastry hits my mouth, and I can’t help but moan at the rich flavors that dance on my tongue. It’s exactly what I need to lift my spirits, to distract me from this maddening man who is making me feel things that I have no right feeling. I’ve never had a real man look at me the way he does—like all I need to do is breathe for him to be satisfied. It gives me a sliver of hope that I’m not a complete lost cause.
I hear movement behind me and see Gabe throw his head back in frustration.
‘I’m so fucked,’ he mumbles before storming off.
Choosing not to worry about his mood at the moment, I finish my cannoli in peace before I dust off my hands. I’m definitely eating another one of those after dinner.
I realize Gabe walked away before putting the lasagna in the oven, so I turn it on and place the tray in. While I wait for it to warm, I walk upstairs to my bedroom to freshen up.
After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I throw on a little mascara, not willing to admit to myself who it’s for. I sweat a bit too much at the park and feel kind of icky. I pull out a pair of jeans and an off-the-shoulder cream top. I throw them on the bed, pull my t-shirt off, and then pull my shorts down.
I’m standing in my room in my bra and underwear when I hear giggles pass by my room, followed by a deep voice. Thinking nothing of it, I grab my jeans and am about to step into them when my door swings open.
‘Alex, let’s go eat dinner!’ Sienna screams, completely oblivious to the fact that I’m half-naked.
Gabriel runs in after her.
‘Sienna, you can’t just barge into…’ he shouts as he comes to a screeching halt.
His jaw falls as he takes in my body, completely exposed to him. My lace bra and panties both show a good amount of skin underneath them.
‘But it’s time for dinner,’ she defends her actions. ‘I needed to tell Alex.’
Gabe is now staring at the carpet like it’s the most interesting thing in the world, his hand massaging the back of his neck.
‘I know that, but you have to knock. Alexis needs her privacy. Now, say you’re sorry, and let’s give her some space.’
‘I’m sorry, Alex,’ she says with a sad little look.
‘It’s okay, sweetheart. I forgive you. I’ll be downstairs in a minute. Just let me finish changing,’ I say as I throw my shirt over my head quickly.
‘Okay!’ she says enthusiastically as she grabs her father’s hand and leads him out of the room.
Shit! How the hell am I going to face him ever again? I look down at my hardened nipples, knowing they’re not hard because I’m cold. It’s because of the hot-as-hell dad that just caught me half-naked.
