“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Allie. Happy birthday to you.”
My smile is beaming as I lean forward and blow out the candles on the cake Mrs. Valdez made for me. It’s my eighteenth birthday, and while I don’t feel any different than I did yesterday, I know that after today, everything is going to change.
It’s been four months since Roman and I decided to give a real relationship between us a try. We’ve had our ups and downs, and I’m still learning to cope with some of the traumas I’ve experienced, but I’ve made a lot of progress.
I don’t freak out anymore when he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist like he’s doing now, leaning in to kiss my neck. “Did you make a wish?” he asks, his breath is hot against my skin, his voice pitched low and seductive.
A slow smile spreads over my face and I shake my head, turning to look at him. “Nope.”
His brows furrow in confusion, and I bite my lower lip to keep from laughing. “I already have everything I could ask for.” And it’s the truth. All my friends are here. I have the most amazing boyfriend who consistently puts me and my needs first. And I’ve gotten the help I should have when I was first assaulted. Roman’s mom—Maria—made sure of that.
I’m happy and I’m healing. I couldn’t ask for anything more.
His face cracks into a wide grin as he turns me to face him, then dips down and presses his lips against mine in a tender kiss. His kisses always start this way. Hesitant and soft. But one nip of his bottom lip has him deepening the kiss and I gasp, opening my mouth to drink him in, silently asking for more.
Voices groan behind us before wandering off.
“Get a room,” Emilio calls out and I pull away, fighting hard not to blush.
“Fuck off,” Roman says, though there’s no heat in his voice.
Emilio rolls his eyes then pries me out of Roman’s embrace. “You’ll have Allie all to yourself soon enough. Today you have to share.”
I squeal as he lifts me into the air, throwing me over his shoulder and racing into the backyard with me, Roman hot on our heels. It’s strange to think that a few short months ago I was adrift. Lost to my pain and consumed by my grief. I didn’t think I’d find happiness again. Not like this. But I’m not numb anymore. I feel my emotions like a kaleidoscope of sensation and I relish each and every day.
The entire crew moves outside. Roman’s parents—Maria and Melchor—Dominique, Aaron, Kasey. Even Julio, Gabe, and Felix made the drive up from Richland to celebrate with me.
Emilio sets me on my feet before gripping my hand and dragging me to the center of the yard. Music is playing on the outdoor speaker system and he draws me into dancing with him as Rombai’s Me Voy plays. Kasey joins us before long and the three of us sing off key. Despite most of Kasey’s words being made up and not actual lyrics, we laugh, dancing without a care in the world because that’s how I’ve chosen to move on.
So much happened that I didn’t have control over, and the threat of what tomorrow brings is always there. But my therapist reminds me during our weekly sessions that I need to focus on today and live my life without fear. I’ve lost so much. More than most people in my short eighteen years. But I don’t want to live a life full of fear and what ifs. Which brings us to today. I’m eighteen, and I’m getting the keys to my first apartment this afternoon. Roman is moving in with me, which Maria and Melchor aren’t thrilled about since both of us are still in high school, but Maria at least seems to understand.
Living with Gerald isn’t an option for me if I want to escape my past. He’s a toxic piece of my life with an ever-present threat hanging over my head that we still need to deal with, and to move forward, I need to separate my life from his.
Janessa set up a meeting with him just this morning and I explained that I was moving out. I thanked him for taking me in after my mother’s death and told him I’d made other arrangements now that I was a legal adult. He didn’t look happy about it, but Janessa managed to smooth things over and help with some of the awkwardness.
He’s letting me keep the car, a birthday gift of sorts. He also gave me access to a trust fund that I have no intention of using on anything beyond schooling, but I’m glad it’s there. It helps with some of the stress that moving out brings.
Roman smiles at me across the lawn, a beer in his hand as he stands with Aaron on his right and Dom on his left. Kasey stands surrounded by my boys from back home, soaking up all their attention and I fight a grin when I see Dominique’s murderous glare aimed their way.
Something makes me think there’s something going on between the two of them, but neither has mentioned anything and I haven’t asked. I’m just happy. Content, for once, and looking forward to what comes next for us.
It only takes a few lingering looks before Roman sets his drink down and joins me on the lawn, his hips swaying in sync with mine as his arms wrap around me. “You’re so beautiful,” he tells me.
I can’t help the smile that blooms over my face. “You’re pretty good-looking yourself,” I remark, giving him an obvious once-over and letting heat build in my gaze.
His eyes gain a wicked glint. “I’m so fucking lucky.” He presses his lips to mine again before whispering against my mouth, “And I love you so fucking much.”
God, this boy. “I love you, too,” I say, flinging my arms around his neck and hugging him tight. No matter what our future holds, I know he’ll be by my side, and I can’t wait for what our next chapter might bring.
