He’s here. I don’t know why I assumed he wouldn’t be. Maybe because of the game? He doesn’t seem the social type apart from the two guys I met earlier this week. He sticks to Dom and Emilio and they have a bit of a fearsome threesome going on. No wonder everyone calls them the Devils. They’re always together, and I haven’t missed the fact that everyone else seems to give them a wide berth. They’re popular, sure, but it’s almost like they’re unwilling participants in the game that is high school social hierarchy.
Rulers who don’t really want to rule.
I haven’t made friends at Sun Valley High—at least none aside from Aaron, but I’ve heard the whispers in the halls when those three walk by. Everyone seems to want to get their hands on one of the Devils. I don’t even think the girls have a preference between the three.
Aaron hands me another beer and I gratefully accept it before noticing Emilio heading my way with a lopsided grin on his face. His arms are wrapped around two girls. One a leggy blonde with a bright red bikini top, the other a brunette with a black bikini and a pair of cut-off shorts. Don’t these two realize it’s cold? It can’t be more than fifty degrees outside. Fall is upon us and winter is fast approaching but these two don’t seem to have gotten the memo.
“Yo, vanilla. How’s it going?” Emilio calls out across the fire. I hate that nickname and I’m almost positive he and Roman use it just to get a rise out of me.
I force a tight smile and lift my beer in greeting. “It’s going,” I say, hoping he’ll turn his attention back to the two girls beside him. They’re running their hands all over him and one is actively trying to suck on his neck but she’s just a few inches too short to reach and he doesn’t seem inclined to accommodate her.
“Tonight, stop by our place.” He turns and points with his beer to the monstrosity of a cabin behind him. “Alright?”
“Why does he want you to go to his cabin later?” Aaron whispers beside me. “I thought you weren’t into any of the Devils?”
“I’m not. And who knows. I don’t get these guys.”
Before I can answer Emilio, Aaron decides to do it for me. “She’s got plans tonight,” he says, throwing an arm around my shoulders. There’s a possessiveness to his touch and I’m not sure how to feel about it. I like Aaron. He’s nice and he’s cute, but I just got out of a relationship. I’m not looking to dive into another one, and Aaron seems the relationship type.
Emilio’s eyes narrow and laser in on the contact.
I cringe.
“Maybe later, then?” he says.
I can hear the bite in his tone, but I don’t know if it’s directed at me or Aaron. “Sur—”
“Nah. Sorry, man. She’s busy all weekend.” He drags out the word “all,” and without saying anything else he’s sunk a heavy amount of innuendo into that one sentence.
I turn to him with a confused expression, but he doesn’t seem to be paying me any attention. His eyes are narrowed and there’s a triumphant look on his face as he and Emilio glower at one another. Like he’s won something. Like he’s won me.
I’m not some prize in these guys’ pissing contest. Whatever issue they have with one another, I don’t want any part of it.
As unassuming as I can, I shrug out from under Aaron’s arm and stand up. “I’m going to explore a bit. I’ll catch up with you later.” He scowls but nods, and I turn to head in the opposite direction from him and Emilio.
I make it twenty feet when my phone buzzes in my pocket. I’m surprised I even have cell reception out here. I check the screen and release an audible groan when I see who the message is from.
Ryker: Come on, A. I miss you. Stop icing me out over something stupid.
Anger bubbles up inside of me and before I can talk myself out of it, I message him back.
Me: You broke up with me the day my mom died!
Those three little dots appear and I stare at them as I wait for his response. But instead of another text, my phone rings in my hand.
Ryker.
“Chingada madre!”
Do I really want to talk to deal with him right now? As I stare at the illuminated screen trying to decide, the ringing stops, saving me from having to make a decision. But then it starts right back up again. I must be a glutton for punishment because on the fourth ring, I answer.
“What do you want, Ry?” I ask.
I walk toward the back of Aaron’s cabin and step onto the back patio. Thankfully, no one else is out here so I claim a spot on a wooden bench and lean back, waiting for Ryker to respond.
He’s quiet for a second and it’s as if I can hear the gears turning in his head. Ryker was always good at that. Finding the right words to say to calm me down. Looking back, I can think of at least a dozen instances when he manipulated me into forgiving him for one thing or another. He was never a good boyfriend. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that.
I finish the beer in my hand and since Ryker still hasn’t said anything, I dip inside the cabin through the rear entrance in search of something stronger. I’m going to need it for the conversation I’m about to have.
“Baby,” he breathes out, longing in his voice. I roll my eyes and spot a stray bottle of tequila. I swipe it and pour a shot into a red cup before adding in some Sprite as a mixer.
“Don’t ‘baby’ me,” I tell him, taking a healthy swallow of my new drink. “I can’t believe what you did, Ry. I can’t…” I choke on my words, unable to force them out as the tequila burns down my esophagus, making me cough. I probably should have taken a smaller sip. I give myself a few seconds, take another drink because, yes, I am a glutton for punishment. “You hurt me.” I don’t know why I’m saying this. Maybe a part of me wants him to understand just what he did to me. Maybe then he’ll finally leave me the heck alone. “You hurt me when I was already hurting.”
“Fuck,” he mutters. “I know, baby. I know. I’m sorry. Okay? I fucked up. I was drinking and I wasn’t thinking straight. Fuck.”
I can hear him pacing on the other end as I step back outside and reclaim my spot on the bench.
“What do you want me to say?”
“The truth. For once in your life, Ry. Can you just be honest with me?” I still don’t know the full story. I know he cheated on me with Adriana but I don’t know any of the details and I don’t know why he broke things off between us the way he did. Ryker was an asshole, but until then, he’d never been cruel.
Another curse. “Baby, it’s not that simple. Adriana, she came on to me and at first I thought she was you.” His words are rushed. “You’ve got to believe that. I would never—”
“You expect me to believe that?” Is he kidding? Does he really think I’m that stupid? I seethe. “Ry, I’m not an idiot.”
He groans. “I know. I know. But it’s the truth. I was wasted, babe. And I didn’t mean to break up with you.”
I snort. “Oh really? Then what did you mean when you texted me—the same day my mom died I might add—saying, ‘I think we should see other people’. Huh? How is that anything other than breaking up with me?”
There’s a loud bang on the other end of the line like maybe he hit something.
“Look, I’m not proud of this, okay. And I didn’t know your mom had died when I sent it. Adriana told me you found out about us. That you were going to dump me. I just”—he sighs—“I was stupid and I wanted to break things off with you first before you turned around and ended things with me.”
Wow. Just wow.
What an asshole.
He’s quiet for a beat and I take another drink from my cup. The alcohol burns and I relish the pain. My throat tightens so I take another drink, eager to chase away the ache forming in my chest because it still hurts and I hate that. I hate that he still has any sort of hold over me.
“I loved you,” I tell him, my voice cold.
“Baby, I love you, too. So much.”
I shake my head even though he can’t see the movement. “No, Ry. Loved. I loved you. I don’t anymore. Not after what you did.”
“Allie, baby. Please. Don’t be like this. We can fix this. I know we can.”
“Nope.” The ‘p’ makes a popping sound to emphasize my decision. Another drink and my cup is empty. I set it aside and lean back, relishing the slight spinning my head is doing right now. “I might have been able to get past the cheating if you’d been honest with me. I was that invested.” He’d been my first kiss. My first love. The guy I lost my virginity to. Maybe that was why I’d put up with so much for so long. Not anymore. I deserved better. I knew that. “But Ry, you dropped me when I needed you the most. There’s no coming back from that. Stop texting me. Stop calling. I’m not going to forgive you. Not for that.”
A movement to my left draws my attention and I spot Roman leaning against a tree, staring at me. His face is blank, but he’s removed his aviators, giving me a glimpse of his dark brown eyes. There’s fire in his gaze, and I shiver. When he sees I’ve spotted him he steps forward and sits beside me.
He puts a hand out, silently asking for my phone. I frown, but what the heck? I hand it to him.
He lifts the phone to his ear and says in a gruff voice, “Listen to her. Stop calling. Stop texting. You two are done. Got it?”
“Who the fuck are you?” I hear Ryker bite out.
“Your replacement.” Roman deadpans. He hands me back my phone after he ends the call. It starts ringing almost right away but I silence it and shove it in my back pocket. He offers me his beer and I take it. I tilt the bottle back to my lips, letting the cool liquid slide down my suddenly dry throat.
My vision blurs for a second but I blink fast to clear it and hand the beer back to him. Heat rushes up my neck and I can feel the effects of the alcohol kicking in even more now. Good.
I don’t want to be sober. Not tonight.
Neither of us say anything after that. Both content to gaze up at the starless night sky. Roman takes a few pulls from his beer bottle and I watch as his Adam’s apple bobs with each swallow.
When the seconds turn to minutes, I feel my cheeks go numb and my head begins to swim. I’ve always been a lightweight. Drinking and partying was never really my thing. I hadn’t expected the liquor to hit me this quickly, though I can’t say I regret that it has and I’m already wishing I had more.
Roman nudges me with his shoulder and I meet his gaze. The mask is still in place. His expression unreadable. A tendril of dark brown hair has fallen forward and I reach out, brushing it back.
His hand shoots up to grab my wrist and I gasp, but rather than tightening his hold on me, his thumb rubs small circles along my pulse as he lowers my hand between us. He doesn’t release me. He continues to rub lazy circles across my skin and goosebumps break out on my arms. He tugs at the teal bracelet on my wrist drawing my attention.
His eyes meet mine again and this time, I see him. I see the want and the need there. The desire.
I swallow hard and a bout of nerves has my stomach tightening.
“That the ex?” he asks. His voice is smooth and he’s still rubbing those darn circles along my skin. I can’t think with him touching me.
“Yeah.” My voice is more breathless than I’d intended, but all of a sudden, it’s like I can’t get enough air inside my lungs. Walk away, Allie. You don’t need to fall for another asshole.
“He cheated?”
I nod.
“And your mom’s dead?”
Another nod.
He seems to ponder my words. “So, who are you living with now? Your pops?”
I nod. “Yeah. Bio-dad.”
He tilts his head in question and he shifts so our bodies are closer to one another. One arm curls around my shoulder, the other still on my wrist, but I can feel the heat from his body so close to mine now.
“I, uh… don’t really want to talk about it.” I stutter my words. Being so close to Roman has me on edge. I’d done so well avoiding him this past week that I’d almost tricked myself into believing he’s forgotten about me. Clearly, that was a stupid thought because here he is, in the flesh. A gut feeling has me believing he’s planned this meeting. Why else would he have followed me to the back of Aaron’s cabin? What other reason did he have for being here?
“Allie?” His voice is flat yet somehow filled with so much suppressed emotion.
I swallow hard and tug my hand free from his hold.
Silence hangs between us again and I push up from my seat. “I’m going to get another drink,” I say, needing a reason to escape his presence. There’s something about Roman that has me convinced he’s dangerous, yet I’m drawn to him all the same.
He doesn’t say anything and he doesn’t try to follow me. He brushes a hand through his thick, dark hair, his nostrils flaring, but no sound escapes him. I pause by the door, giving myself one last second to drink him in before I escape inside, cursing myself for being stupid. Roman is trouble, and I’m not going to make the same bad decisions again.
