After grabbing everything we need, we leave my apartment and drive to Waffle House. It’s better than sitting at my place where Decius can return with one of his vessels and try to kill us.
When the waitress asks what we’ll have to drink, I request a coffee. Caz asks for sweet tea, which I want to laugh at because he’s become a bit obsessed with the drink, but I can’t bring myself to find any humor in our situation right now.
He’s only here enjoying sweet tea at a twenty-four-hour diner because our lives are on the line. The thought eats away at me so much that I begin biting my thumbnail.
“Hey,” Caz calls from the other side of the table, grabbing my wrist. “Relax. We’re okay.”
“For how long?”
He stares briefly and, unable to answer that question, looks away. Pressing his back to the window next to our table, he lifts his leg, resting his boot on the bench.
“I hate snakes, by the way,” I mutter.
He smirks.
“What’s funny?” I ask.
“Nothing, I’m just thinking about when I was younger and hung out with Rowan and Killian during the summers. We used to go near Shadow’s Peak, where there were nests of snakes—twice the size of that cobra in your shower, might I add.” He brings a hand up, rubbing his temples with his fingers. “I could use a bloom right now.”
I glance at my tote bag. I don’t have bloom, but I do have something else that may help. I dig into my bag to retrieve my wallet, taking out enough cash for the drinks. “Come with me.” I’m already leaving the table, the straps of my tote bag in hand. He drops his foot and follows me out of the diner. I round the building, and just behind it is a long strip of grass facing the freeway.
I sit on the slightly damp grass as Caz approaches, and I know he’s looking at me with mild confusion as I rustle through my tote. “What about our drinks?” he asks.
“We’ll get more later.” I tap the spot next to me. “Come on. Sit with me.”
He complies, claiming the spot next to me with a light grunt. I take out one of the four joints I had in my nightstand that are already rolled. I’d rolled them what feels like weeks ago, before going back to Vakeeli to reach Caz in his mom’s cabin.
I fish around for a lighter, and when I find it, I bring the joint to my lips and spark the end of it, taking a deep inhale. When I lower it and exhale, some of my stress drifts with the smoke—at least, that’s how I like to think of it. All that pent-up stress floats away with each puff. I offer the joint to Caz.
He takes it, but not without examining. “Is this the weed stuff you talked about?”
“Yep. Smoke it just like bloom.”
He brings it to his lips, inhales until the end turns to embers, and then exhales, releasing a large cloud of smoke. He coughs immediately after, and I burst out laughing, taking it from him when he hands it back.
“‘Your weed holds no comparison,’” I say in a voice that’s supposed to be like his.
“What?” He coughs again, his eyes watering. “Are you mocking me?”
“That’s what you said the first day we met. That my weed holds no comparison to your precious bloom,” I giggle.
He clears his eyes with a prideful smirk. “Well, I clearly take that back. Love of Vakeeli, what kind of concoction is that? Made to knock you flat on your ass, is it?”
I laugh again, and it’s the kind of laugh that hurts my stomach but feels good all the same. The kind of laugh I need right now. I take another pull and offer it to him again.
“Not too much,” I warn as he inhales. “I don’t want you getting high to the point of paranoia.”
As he smokes, I stare at the cars driving on the freeway, their headlights slashing through the darkness.
“What was the story about the nests of snakes?” I ask.
“Oh, right.” He hands the joint back to me, and I study his profile. The stress has melted away, his eyes soft, body lax beneath his coat. He presses his hands behind him, resting on his palms, and I put out the joint. This is a good place. “So, Rowan was the troublemaker, no surprise there, right? I was hanging out with Kill and Row, we were teenagers around the time.”
“Where was Juniper?”
“She wasn’t there that day. I believe she’d just started her first bleed.” He shudders, and I laugh.
“Her first bleed?”
“Yes. You know…when women hit a certain age and begin to…bleed. They’re, erm, becoming a woman, or what have you, so…” His face has reddened, and I try not to laugh as I watch him nearly tuck his neck into his jacket to hide his embarrassment.
“We call them periods here. A cycle,” I tell him.
“Yes, well that. I don’t know much about that stuff. Anyway,” he continues, clearing his throat. “It was Rowan’s idea to steal weapons from Magnus’ castle so we could pretend we were warriors. Most summers, Magnus and Lydia were out of Blackwater, so we snuck in there a lot to smoke blooms, drink his whiskey. There was one day when Rowan ended up stumbling across a snake nest, and his whole foot slipped inside. The snakes became extremely hostile and shot out of the nest, immediately trying to bite us. I’m not sure you’re aware, but most boys then were trained to kill any and everything in preparation of becoming a Blackwater soldier. I changed that law when I took over, by the way. Never seemed ideal to raise boys to become murderers. Children should be children for as long as they can.” He swallows, wisps of hair falling onto his forehead as he lowers his gaze. I reach forward with a smile, pushing some of those loose hairs back. He glances up, returning a half-smile. “So anyway, here we are, three hormonal boys, slicing the heads off of snakes, thinking we’re badass.” He chuckles, and I can’t help grinning while I imagine the three of them fighting snakes.
“Y’all sounded pretty badass,” I tease.
He chuckles, and I rest my shoulder against his as the woosh of the cars flying by on the freeway soothes me.
“I know I’ve only been here for a few hours, but it’s put a lot into perspective about my family,” Caz goes on. “I used to put up this barrier to block them out when I first met them. They had a life I didn’t have. They were free, unlike me, and were never harmed by their caretaker. They had a shit father, but…well, he never hurt them like mine did to me. Just left them to their own devices and also leaving Maeve to be a single mother. I envied their lives so much—still do, really. They’re all so close, sometimes I feel like the black sheep.” He sniffs.
“That’s not true,” I argue. “They love you. They see you as one of them.”
He presses his lips, and I’m glad he doesn’t argue with that. I’m glad he knows it’s the truth.
“Well, all this to say, I miss my clan. My family,” he says quickly, correcting himself. “I know they’re worried sick.”
“I bet they are. But it’s okay. We’ll get you back to them, I promise.”
He looks at me sideways, the streetlights making his eyes sparkle like cobalt gems. Reaching for my hand, he brings it to his lips and runs them over my knuckles. His lips are warm, soft.
“I don’t want any of them getting hurt because of our Tether,” he murmurs.
“Right, our Tether. Killian’s biggest fear,” I return, huffing. “God, that man. How do you deal with him? What happened to make him so angry all the time?”
“The better question to ask is how does he tolerate me?” Caz counters, and I sense that he won’t spill much about Killian. If anyone is like a vault, it’s Caz. There must be a reason Killian is so hostile and angry, something that goes much deeper than daddy issues. “Besides, he doesn’t hate you,” Caz says, looking ahead again.
I swing my eyes to his.
“He just doesn’t understand you. He’s a lot like me. We hate things we don’t understand—that we can’t wrap our minds around. But sooner or later, he’ll be like your guardian. You’ll be family, and he won’t ever let a hair go astray on your head. He’s like that with the people he loves. Because that’s Killian. The angriest of us all on the outside, but the most tender inside.”
There’s a warmth to Caz’s voice, one that overflows inside me, making me feel comforted and a little emotion. “That’s good to hear.”
I lower my gaze, my mind going back to the last car ride I took with Caz’s family. I could sense some of Killian’s tenderness when Caz was out cold. It almost looked like Killian wanted to cry, and Caz and I talk about that as time passes and the sun slowly pours above the horizon, painting the sky in lush lavender and cotton candy pink. It’s nice talking to him at this hour, wrapped in a blissful high. If only we could have these moments forever, uninterrupted. Just us.
But we can’t. Not right now. And I realize that when my phone rings, and I pull it out to see Faye’s name on the screen. I glance at Caz, and he sighs when the reality of our situation sinks back in. He stands and takes my hand, helping me to a stand.
We collect our things, grab a coffee and tea to go from inside the diner, then make our way to the rental car lot where Faye will meet us for our trip to Virginia.
