“Perhaps it’s karma. Isn’t that a universal thing?” Caz wonders.
I lie on his chest, staring through the small gap of the balcony doors that reveals a sliver of the ocean.
It’s been well over twenty minutes (I think) since we made love. For the most part, we laid in the dark and crossed thoughts here and there. Only a few times. Caz mostly kept his wall up when he wanted to keep some things to himself.
“Yeah. We believe in karma on Earth too,” I tell him, attempting to push away the feral thoughts. Even his voice is doing it for me right now. The rumble of it sneaks through me and stays between my legs. Good Lord, what’s wrong with me. Focus, Willow. Focus. I’m glad Caz either disregards my thoughts or is too lost in his to react to them.
“Perhaps that’s what all this is then,” he says. “Losing Della. Decius trying to hunt us. Losing my mother. It’s all karma, and I’m playing in its wicked game.”
“Karma can be good and bad,” I offer.
“I think I only end up with the bad.” He’s quiet a moment, and I listen to his steady heartbeat. “I told you before that I’ve done a lot of bad things. Do you remember?”
“Yes, I remember.”
“Well, it’s true. I have. It was only a matter of time before karma came back to deliver a dose of herself. She took Della from me, and that woman…” I hear him swallow, his body tensing. “She was like an aunt to me, just like Maeve. She may not have raised me from childhood, but the moment I met her, I knew I could trust her. And when she came to me and asked me to help find the people responsible for murdering her son, I didn’t hesitate. There was something about her eyes, you know? She had this way of looking at you. This innate ability to look at people like they belong to her. She looked at me like I was hers—like she’d do anything for me. She made anyone feel like family…made them feel special.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “In the short time I knew her, I did like her. She was very nice to me. And honest. Plus, her cooking was great.”
“Ah, yes. The cooking. She was a great chef. Believe it or not, she owned a popular restaurant when Magnus was monarch. It was a hot spot, everyone loved it. She’d serve the best seared duck, and her desserts were literally sin. I had some of her blackfruit cake once, and it was the greatest thing I’d ever tasted.”
“That sounds good,” I laugh.
“It was.” He pauses. “She stopped as soon as she found out her son was missing. Sold the restaurant to someone else so she could pay bounties to track him down. This was shocking to many because Della had been poor once, she and her husband. They didn’t have the rubies to afford youthwater, so when her husband fell sick, he couldn’t properly heal from it, and the only reason she had the restaurant in the first place is because the previous owner committed suicide and handed it over to her. He just gave it to her. I suppose he was fond of her too. Anyway, after she’d come to me with the knowledge that the Rippies had killed her son, I couldn’t stand to know she was alone, so I had Juniper bring her to Blackwater Manor. I showed Della the wing she would use and let her know it was hers now—that she could have it and do whatever she wanted with it. She thought I was fooling her,” he laughs. “She had no idea why the monarch would want her living in his castle. And I couldn’t quite explain why I wanted it either, I just did. But with Della being Della, she didn’t take it at first. She liked to work for what she had. So, a day later, she comes to me while I’m at the tavern and says, ‘Fine. I’ll take the position.’ And I go, ‘What position?’ She says, ‘The position to be your house maiden. I’ll cook, clean, stitch up your clothes, wash them. I’ll do whatever needs to be done for Blackwater Manor.’”
He lets the memory steep, and I look up to find a small smile on his lips and his eyes distant. “I told her there would be no pay, really. That I wasn’t exactly looking for another house maiden, and that I just wanted to let her know she was safe and protected. She said pay wasn’t necessary. She said…” He clears his throat. “She said to me that day that working for me would be the greatest honor of her life.”
“Wow,” I whisper. “That’s so beautiful.”
“Yes. And we had another house maiden around, but she paled in comparison to Della, so I let her go. Kept just the one. Never regretted it.”
I laugh. “She really loved you. And she took pride in her work here. I can tell.” I hug him tighter, pressing my ear to his chest again.
“Loving me may as well be a death wish.”
“Stop doing that,” I groan. “Please. You are not a burden to me, or your family, or to anyone else in your life. You’re not to blame for bad things happening. Bad things happen regardless. Look at me. A woman from Earth, with an estranged father, a dead mother, and a missing brother.”
At the thought of Warren, I sit up rapidly. “Oh my gosh, Warren! We are still going to find him aren’t—”
“Yes,” Caz laughs, pulling me back down to his chest. “We will look for your brother. But not at this moment.” With a sigh, he wraps his arms around me and holds me close to his chest. “Right now, I only want to be with you. Everything else can wait a while.”
